Easier than Falling Asleep
by JacobApples
Summary: Harry is struck with the killing curse and wakes up the day of the Last Task. This story will be the Order of The Phoenix if Harry had been a bit wiser and Luna a more present character. No time Paradox and no godmoding. Slow build up. Also, the tanslation in French is available by Eohwel.
1. Quicker and Easier than Falling Asleep

Dyslexia: I have a Language Disability, meaning there will be grammatical and spelling errors that I will miss on my own. Please do not berate me for it. I am always looking for a beta.

Summary: Harry is struck with the killing curse and wakes up the day of the last task. This story will be the Order of The Phoenix if Harry were a bit wiser.

Disclaimer: JKR owns her work and her ideas. I am grateful that she allows us, writers, to play in her world. I use many direct quotes in the first few chapters to slow myself down and to contrast when my version truly changes events. (You can skim those sections but I am keeping them in place because of the minor changes that I slip in which will end up tipping the scales ;)

Chapter 1: Easier and Faster Than Falling Asleep

 _Dumbledore's betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan: Harry had simply been too foolish to see it, he realized that now. He had never questioned his own assumption that Dumbledore wanted him alive. Now he saw that his life span had always been determined by how long it took to eliminate all the Horcruxes. Dumbledore had passed the job of destroying them to him, and obediently he had continued to chip away at the bonds tying not only Voldemort, but himself, to life! How neat, how elegant, not to waste any more lives, but to give the dangerous task to the boy who had already been marked for slaughter, and whose death would not be a calamity, but another blow against Voldemort._

 _And Dumbledore had known that Harry would not duck out, that he would keep going to the end, even though it was his end, because he had taken the trouble to get to know him, hadn't he? Dumbledore knew, as Voldemort knew, that Harry would not let anyone else die for him now that he had discovered it was in his power to stop it. The images of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind's eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe. Death was impatient…_

 _James was exactly the same height as Harry. He was wearing the clothes in which he had died, and his hair was untidy and ruffled, and his glasses were a little lopsided, like Mr. Weasley's._

 _Sirius was tall and handsome, and younger by far than Harry had seen him in life. He loped with an easy grace, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face._

 _Lily's smile was widest of all. She pushed her long hair back as she drew closer to him, and her green eyes, so like his, searched his face hungrily, as though she would never be able to look at him enough._

 _"You've been so brave."_

 _He could not speak. His eyes feasted on her, and he thought that he would like to stand and look at her forever, and that would be enough._

 _"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We are... so proud of you."_

 _"Does it hurt?" The childish question had fallen from Harry's lips before he could stop it._

 _"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."_

 _..."Harry Potter," he said very softly. His voice might have been part of the spitting fire. "The Boy Who Lived."_

 _Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly, while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear._

 _He saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, and everything was gone. (JKR Deathly Hallows)._

Harry woke with a start, his scar hurting so badly he rolled out of bed screaming. Death really shouldn't hurt this much. That or Sirius was git for lying to him.

When the pain subsided he untangled himself from his covers and staggered to his feet.

Something was wrong. No, scratch that, a lot of things were wrong. He was in Gryffindor Tower, and apparently, he had just woken up. He found his glasses on the nightstand. The rest of the beds were empty. Was he shorter? Harry went to the bathroom and the sight of himself in the mirror frightened him and it wasn't because his scar was oozing blood, it was because the face in the mirror was three years younger than it should have been.

And he was short.

Harry frowned and grabbed a towel wetting it in the sink to wash the blood away. What kind of whacko dream was this? Washing the wound hurt but the cold water also soothed the aching in his forehead.

"Harry?" a voice called from the hall.

"In here!" Harry shouted back. He kept his gaze on the mirror, he watched the scar close up and magically heal over into the faintest of white lines. The lightning bolt was still visible but only if you were looking hard for it. This dream just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Mr. Potter?" It was Professor McGonagall.

Harry left the bloody towel in the sink and went out to her.

"You need to get dressed, Mr. Potter," she said when she saw him.

Harry blinked at her, "Why?"

 _"Potter, the champions are congregating in the chamber off the Hall after breakfast," she said._

Harry frowned, "Excuse me?"

 _"The champions' families are invited to watch the final task, you know. This is simply a chance for you to greet them."_

What was this? Was he fourteen again? This dream was rapidly becoming too realistic to be just a dream. Was this the afterlife? Some cosmic game so he would have to live through Cedric dying again? If that was the case reliving Sirius's death would have been worse. Or maybe it would get worse?

Or was this some sort of soul time travel? Was such a thing even possible?

"Come, Mr. Potter or you'll be late, you have already missed breakfast as it is."

Harry threw on his robes and joined his Head of House in the common room, mutely following behind. As they walked the halls Harry admired their intact, non-ruble quality.

They came into a room before the Great Hall and it was like walking into his own memory in a pensive.

 _Cedric and his parents were just inside the door. Viktor Krum was over in a corner, conversing with his dark-haired mother and father in rapid Bulgarian. He had inherited his father's hooked nose. On the other side of the room, Fleur was jabbering away in French to her mother. Fleur's little sister, Gabrielle, was holding her mother's hand._

 _She waved at Harry, who waved back. Then he saw Mrs. Weasley and Bill standing in front of the fireplace, beaming at him._

 _"Surprise!" Mrs. Weasley said excitedly as he smiled broadly and walked over to them._

 _"Thought we'd come and watch you. Harry!" She bent down and kissed him on the cheek._

 _"You all right?" said Bill, grinning at Harry and shaking his hand. "Charlie wanted to come, but he couldn't get time off. He said you were incredible against the Horntail."_

 _Fleur Delacour, Harry noticed, was eyeing Bill with great interest over her mother's shoulder. Harry could tell she had no objection whatsoever to long hair or earrings with fangs on them._

Harry was at lost as to what to say. Cedric was alive. Was Fred?

 _"It's great being back here," said Bill, looking around the chamber (Violet, the Fat Lady's friend, winked at him from her frame). "Haven't seen this place for five years._

 _Is that picture of the mad knight still around? Sir Cadogan?"_

Harry nodded.

 _"And the Fat Lady?" said Bill._

 _"She was here in my time," said Mrs. Weasley. "She gave me such a telling off one night when I got back to the dormitory at four in the morning -"_

 _"What were you doing out of your dormitory at four in the morning?" said Bill, surveying his mother with amazement._

 _Mrs. Weasley grinned, her eyes twinkling._

 _"Your father and I had been for a nighttime stroll," she said. "He got caught by Apollyon Pringle - he was the caretaker in those days - your father's still got the marks."_

 _"Fancy giving us a tour, Harry?" said Bill._

"Yeah, sure," _said Harry, and they made their way back toward the door into the Great Hall. As they passed Amos Diggory, he looked around._

 _"There you are, are you?" he said, looking Harry up and down._

 _"Bet you're not feeling quite as full of yourself now Cedric's caught you up on points, are you?"_

 _"What?" said Harry._

 _"Ignore him," said Cedric in a low voice to Harry, frowning after his father. "He's been angry ever since Rita Skeeter's article about the Triwizard Tournament - you know, when she made out you were the only Hogwarts champion."_

 _"Didn't bother to correct her, though, did he?" said Amos Diggory, loudly enough for Harry to hear as he started to walk out of the door with Mrs. Weasley and Bill. "Still, you'll show him, Ced. Beaten him once before, haven't you?"_

 _"Rita Skeeter goes out of her way to cause trouble, Amos!" Mrs. Weasley said angrily. "I would have thought you'd know that, working at the Ministry!"_

 _Mr. Diggory looked as though he was going to say something angry, but his wife laid a hand on his arm, and he merely shrugged and turned away._

 _Harry had a very enjoyable morning walking over the sunny grounds with Bill and Mrs. Weasley, showing them the Beauxbatons carriage and the Durmstrang ship. Mrs. Weasley was intrigued by the Whomping Willow, which had been planted after she had left school, and reminisced at length about the gamekeeper before Hagrid, a man called Ogg._

Harry walked through this dream. Smiling, chatting, treating it like he was from the same timeline as this memory, that there was nothing bad happening in this dream. Like he hadn't just died and woken up nearly four years in the past on the day that the Dark Lord came back to power. Like Albus Dumbledore hadn't set him up to die.

 _They returned to the castle for lunch._

 _"Mum - Bill!" said Ron, looking stunned, as he joined the Gryffindor table. "What're you doing here?"_

 _"Come to watch Harry in the last task!" said Mrs. Weasley brightly. "I must say, it makes a lovely change, not having to cook. How was your exam?"_

 _"Oh . . . okay," said Ron. "Couldn't remember all the goblin rebels' names, so I invented a few. It's all right," he said, helping himself to a Cornish pasty, while Mrs. Weasley looked stern, "they're all called stuff like Bodrod the Bearded and Urg the Unclean; it wasn't hard."_

 _Fred, George, and Ginny came to sit next to them too, and Harry was having such a good time he felt almost as though he were back at the Burrow…_

 _"Hello, Hermione," said Mrs. Weasley, much more stiffly than usual._

 _"Hello," said Hermione, her smile faltering at the cold expression on Mrs. Weasley's face._

 _Harry looked between them, then said, "Mrs. Weasley, you didn't believe that rubbish Rita Skeeter wrote in Witch Weekly, did you? Because Hermione's not my girlfriend."_

 _"Oh!" said Mrs. Weasley "No - of course I didn't!"_

 _But she became considerably warmer toward Hermione after that._

 _Harry, Bill, and Mrs. Weasley whiled away the afternoon with a long walk around the castle, and then returned to the Great Hall for the evening feast. Ludo Bagman and Cornelius Fudge had joined the staff table now. Bagman looked quite cheerful, but Cornelius Fudge, who was sitting next to Madame Maxime, looked stern and was not talking._

 _Madame Maxime was concentrating on her plate, and Harry thought her eyes looked red._

 _Hagrid kept glancing along the table at her, There were more courses than usual, but Harry, who was starting to feel really nervous now, didn't eat much. As the enchanted ceiling overhead began to fade from blue to a dusky purple, Dumbledore rose to his feet at the staff table, and silence fell._

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, in five minutes' time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr. Bagman down to the stadium now."_

 _Harry got up. The Gryffindors all along the table were applauding him; the Weasleys and Hermione all wished him good luck, and he headed off out of the Great Hall with Cedric, Fleur, and Viktor._

 _"Feeling all right. Harry?" Bagman asked as they went down the stone steps onto the grounds. "Confident?"_

"I think we are all going to die," Harry said tonelessly. After all, this dream was fast approaching its nightmare like quality. He hoped he would wake up soon.

Bagman laughed, thinking Harry was joking.

 _They walked onto the Quidditch field, which was now completely unrecognizable. A twenty-foot-high hedge ran all the way around the edge of it. There was a gap right in front of them: the entrance to the vast maze. The passage beyond it looked dark and creepy._

 _Five minutes later, the stands had begun to fill; the air was full of excited voices and the rumbling of feet as the hundreds of students filed into their seats. The sky was a deep, clear blue now, and the first stars were starting to appear. Hagrid, Professor Moody, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Flitwick came walking into the stadium and approached Bagman and the champions. They were wearing large, red, luminous stars on their hats, all except Hagrid, who had his on the back of his moleskin vest._

 _"We are going to be patrolling the outside of the maze," said Professor McGonagall to the champions. "If you get into difficulty, and wish to be rescued, send red sparks into the air, and one of us will come and get you, do you understand?"_

 _The champions nodded._

Harry didn't nod he just willed himself awake. It didn't work.

 _"Off you go, then-" said Bagman brightly to the four patrollers._

 _"Good luck. Harry," Hagrid whispered, and the four of them walked away in different directions, to station themselves around the maze. Bagman now pointed his wand at his throat, muttered, "Sonorus," and his magically magnified voice echoed into the stands._

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied in first place, with eighty-five points each - Mr. Cedric Diggory and Mr. Harry Potter, both of Hogwarts School!" The cheers and applause sent birds from the Forbidden Forest fluttering into the darkening sky. "In second place, with eighty points - Mr. Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute!" More applause. "And in third place - Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy!"_

 _Harry could just make out Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Ron, and Hermione applauding Fleur politely, halfway up the stands. He waved up at them, and they waved back, beaming at him._

 _"So ... on my whistle, Harry and Cedric!" said Bagman. "Three - two - one -"_

And it all happened as it had before. Harry didn't talk as much but in the end, it was just him and Cedric standing before the cup.

"You should take it," Cedric said.

Harry shrugged, "It's a trap."

Cedric frowned, "What do you mean, it's a trap?"

"Whoever takes that cup is going to die."

Cedric glared at Harry, "That isn't funny."

"The cup is a trap and Professor Moody is a fraud," Harry said. He sighed and reached out to the cup, "But I'm dead already, so what does it matter?"

"Harry-" Cedric started but he was too late to stop Harry or to join him.

As Harry felt the pull on his navel he really hoped he was still dreaming.

* * *

Cedric shot red sparks up into the sky and started yelling for help.

It took ten minutes for help to arrive but they were no more help than Cedric had been. False Moody received the dementor's kiss and the real Moody was saved. But no one had the faintest idea as to where Harry Potter had gone.

* * *

Harry landed with a thud on the ground. He hated portkeys, what had possessed him to grab the damned cup? He needed to stop treating this like a dream because clearly pain was a real factor. And, apparently, events could be altered.

For instance, there was no spare.

Harry threw a reducto into the gloom, incinerating a tombstone.

Someone yelped and Riddle's voice yelled, "Subdue him, you fool!"

But Harry had thrown up a shield charm that reflected Wormtail's spell. Harry started throwing hexes and charms, one after another without a word and without relent.

Screw dying, he wanted to live and he was never going to walk to his death again, Greater Good or no.

Wormtail was a poor duelist.

"Do not run!" Voldemort instructed.

But Wormtail was losing. Three years, three painful, miserable years learning to fight to survive, barely scraping by in school thanks to the war, thanks to running away from Death Eaters and Aurors. Hell, his education had been put aside so he could rob banks. Harry was fresh from the battlefield, where as Wormtail- Wormtail was lowlier than the worms that ate the dirt.

With a pop, Wormtail apparated away. Leaving someone behind in the grass.

Harry levitated a tombstone and repeatedly smashed it onto Nagini -who had come at him, fangs exposed.

"You know," Harry said, wand pointed at the corpse of the last Horcrux, "I don't hate snakes. I just hate Voldemort's snakes, you are all creepy and twisted."

Nagini didn't respond, as she was well and truly dead.

Harry supposed he should go back to the cup, back to Hogwarts. He hesitated, no part of him wanted to go back to Hogwarts, to Dumbledore, to the students or to the media. But he would have to because this wasn't a dream. Somehow dying had brought him back in time. 1995 was not a good year for him.

Harry went to Riddle Senior's tomb and accioed all the bones. Morbid? Absolutely. But Voldemort had needed his father's bones to come back to his body. Pointing his wand at the bones, they shattered into dust and disappeared in a gust of wind.

Harry walked out of the cemetery and followed a vaguely familiar path that led further away from the town and Riddle Manor. After an hour of walking, Harry found the Gaunt Shack or the ruin of it that Dumbledore had shown him in the pensive.

He found the ring and transfigured a piece of wood into a porcelain ball just large enough to hold the ring. He scooped up the ring in the makeshift container, transfiguring it shut and pocketing the nullified poisoned -as long as he didn't touch it with his skin, ring in his robe pocket, checking he had no holes in that pocket first.

Harry had done a lot of thinking on his walk and did a lot more thinking on his way back to the graveyard.

Number One: If you are given a second chance to live, don't waste it.

Number Two: Snape is more trustworthy than Dumbledore and either McGonagall or Flitwick is more trustworthy than Snape. So he had best pick someone who he is going to tell the whole story to carefully and make sure that Dumbledore doesn't try to get control over Harry again.

Number Three: Horcruxes. Taking into account his bleeding head pain this morning, he was going to wager that had been the death of that Horcrux. The diary was finished, the ring was his, and Nagini was dead which only left the Cup, still in Gringotts, the Diadem, back at Hogwarts, the Locket, still at Grimmauld Place, and of course, Voldemort in his infant alien form.

Number Four: Hedwig, Sirius, Fred, Cedric, Lupin, Nymphadora, and countless others were still alive and Harry wanted them to stay that way.

"So who to trust?" Harry asked himself as he stood before the cup lying inertly on the ground. It was dark out but his eyes had long since adjusted to the moonlit night. "Who do I trust?"

 _Not Dumbledore_.

It wasn't a voice in his head, it was his gut reaction to having trusted and loved a man who had set him up to die.

"So who do I trust who isn't with Albus Dumbledore?" Harry asked out loud. Not Snape, not McGonagall, not even Sirius.

 _Who then?_

But the thought had occurred to him already. Filius Flitwick. He wasn't a part of the order but he was a good man, a Dueling Champion, and Head of Ravenclaw House. Harry could use a little wisdom at this point in his life.

Of course, this all could still be a dream. Merlin, let it all be a dream.

* * *

"Harry!" Hermione was the first to get to him. She was sobbing. Mrs. Weasley was close behind.

Harry told them over and over again that he was alright.

"What happened?" "What happened?" It was all anyone could ask him once they realized he was, in fact, okay.

"Graveyard, Voldemort, Pettigrew, they both got away," Harry summarized.

"You are an idiot!" Cedric yelled. "You knew it was a trap, why on earth did you grab it?"

Harry looked at Cedric dead on, "Because if one of us had to die I'd rather it be me."

There was only truth on Harry's face and no one who heard his words thought he was joking.

After that between McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley, Harry made it back to the castle without an interception, and he was directed to the hospital wing to be checked over by Madame Pomfrey.

* * *

Poppy shooed away everyone even the Headmaster.

"Can I stay here until the end of the term?" Harry asked.

Poppy -who was more than accustomed to Harry as her tenant, was taken aback by this question. Never had Harry ever asked to stay longer. She nodded. There was less than a week anyhow and she would be relieved to keep an eye on him.

His next question was more unsettling than the first. "Could you look at my scar, please? It was bleeding this morning?"

She did and what she found scared her. "Possession," she breathed.

"What was that, Madame Pomfrey?" he asked her.

"This- this residue was of another magical lifeforce, like a leach trying to eat its way into -not just your mind, but your soul."

"Is it gone?"

"You don't sound surprised."

"Please, just tell me?"

"Yes, it's gone and whatever damage it caused it should begin to heal naturally now. How did you get it off?" she asked.

"I don't know what you mean," Harry tried.

She didn't bite, she chided "Mr. Potter."

"The Killing Curse," Harry answered shortly.

"You aimed a Killing Curse at your scar?" she asked, deeply concerned.

"No, I had a dream Voldemort did it, I woke up in pain with my head bleeding."

Poppy frowned and pulled a vial out of her apron, "Dreamless Sleep, drink it and try not to worry about anything."

"I don't want to talk to Dumbledore," Harry blurted out.

"I will see what I can do, but rest, Mr. Potter."

He did as he was told, glad for the respite.

* * *

Dumbledore manoeuvred his way into seeing Harry, Harry glared at Pomfrey who gave him an apologetic look before going to her office.

Harry gave the old wizard with his sparkling eyes one glance before glueing his eyes to his own hand -strangely scarless hands.

This man, this pillar in his life that had set him up to fall. Falling. It was Harry's last memory of this man alive, Albus falling off the tower because he made, _made_ Snape kill him.

"Harry, look at me," Albus said gently.

"Leave me alone," Harry muttered back.

"How did you know the cup was a trap?"

"Because it was the last thing we did for tasks and there had to be some goal, some reason for putting my name in the goblet."

"Logical," Albus said.

Logic? When had logic ever been the major player in Harry's life?

"I went to the graveyard," the Headmaster ventured, "it looked as if there had been a battle there. I found a rather dead snake."

"Wormtail got away with Voldemort," Harry said without raising his head.

"He's back?"

Harry shook his head, "Only in the way that he's never really been gone."

Albus sighed, "That's good."

Harry frowned.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

 _What's wrong is, is that you want me dead_ , Harry thought. But maybe that wasn't fair. Albus wanted Voldemort dead, Harry was just a means to an end.

"Harry-"

"Can you leave, please?" he asked. "I'm tired."

"Of course, if you told me everything important I can go."

Harry looked up then, making direct eye contact, his mental wards as solid as they had ever been. Maybe without a slice of another person's soul attached to his mind, he could be good at this mind magic. "You know everything important, Sir."

It was the same tone Harry used with Snape and Albus looked floored.

"Harry, you know I would never cause you harm, don't you?"

Harry's gaze grew angry and distant, "Never directly." _Only by your inaction._

"I will let you get rest if you think of anything, tell me."

Harry laid back done with the conversation and turned his back on the old man.

* * *

Harry spent his last day at Hogwarts destroying Horcruxes. He went down to the Chamber of Secrets first, with the Ring and stabbed it right through the porcelain container. The ring screamed and the black smoke died. He picked up the stone with a bit of ripped robe and chucked it into the Slytherin statue's maw where the snake had crawled out from.

Harry wrapped the fang in a bit of leather and took his broom back up the passage that he had cleared. Harry went right to the Room of Requirement, found and destroyed diadem.

Harry looked at the pieces of the crown and wrapped them up in a satchel.

How was Harry supposed to get into Gringotts again? Bellatrix Lestrange was still in prison so the first insane way they had done it wouldn't work.

He looked around the room for inspiration and it was the room itself that gave him an idea.

"Dobby?" Harry called.

Dobby appeared with his typical greeting.

"Dobby," Harry started, "Do you know how to break into Gringotts?"

The elf blinked. "What does Harry Potter need?"

"I need the Hufflepuff Cup from Bellatrix Lestrange's vault."

Dobby shuttered but snapped his fingers and the cup appeared in front of them, the sound of metal ringing as it hit the ground.

Harry gaped, "It can't be that easy."

"If Harry Potter, Sir, had asked Dobby to get him money from any vault but his own Dobby couldn't have done it. But this is a Hogwarts object and belongs to the school."

As Dobby was speaking Harry pulled the Basilisk fang and struck the cup. It screamed and the cup was left with a huge dent and black mark on it but it was soulless.

"Harry Potter, Sir, that was Dark Magic," he informed him.

"Yep, and there is one more."

"Where, Sir?" Dobby asked ready for the challenge.

"Grimmauld Place, Slytherin's Locket," Harry said.

Dobby snapped his fingers, but the locket did not appear alone.

A snarling elf came attached to the locket, an elf who was out for blood.

"Wait, Kreacher!" Harry called, "Kreacher wait, we are trying to destroy it as Master Regulus asked you to!"

Kreacher paused in trying to strangle Dobby, and slowly turned to Harry.

"What do _you_ know about Master Regulus?"

"Sirius Black is my godfather and that locket needs to be opened by a Parselmouth and destroyed with something that can destroy the darkest of magic."

Kreacher let go of Dobby, who coughed and gave the other elf a dark look.

Harry motioned for the elf to lay the locket on the floor, which Kreacher did reluctantly.

" _Open_ ," Harry hissed.

Harry who was feeling a bit stab happy, stabbed it the moment the gears sprung open.

More screaming black smoke and it was over. The dairy, the snake, the ring, the diadem, the cup, the locket, and himself were all taken care of.

Harry picked up the locket that was mostly undamaged and told it to close. He handed it to Kreacher, "Thank you, Kreacher."

The dirty elf looked at him in awe, "You're welcome, Master Potter." Before popping away.

"Do you need anything else, Harry Potter, Sir?" Dobby asked.

"No, Dobby, thank you."

"Dobby needs to go back to preparing the feast but you can call Dobby whenever you need him."

Harry nodded and Dobby popped out as well.

Walking the halls, Harry tried not to remember what they had been reduced to. But it was hard. Harry found his way to Flitwick's office and knocked on his doorframe.

"Come in," said the man's merry voice. "Oh, Mr. Potter, come right in."

Harry approached his desk, shutting the door behind him. Harry was pleased to see that there were no portraits in Flitwick's office.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Potter? I hope this isn't about homework or tests. You have been excused from such things for the year."

"Professor," Harry started, "I need to talk to someone who isn't a member of the Order of the Phoenix -who I can trust."

Flitwick sat back in his chair, "You mean Dumbledore's order?"

"Yes."

Flitwick frowned, "Why wouldn't you go to Dumbledore himself?"

"Because I am done getting struck with the Killing Curses by a crazy psychopath."

Flitwick blinked, "Explain."

And Harry did. Starting with the prophecy, and Snape's part, and Quirrell, the Chamber of Secrets, Sirius, Wormtail, the Goblet of Fire, Voldemort coming back, the Horcruxes, Dumbledore's death, the school being overrun by Death Eaters, the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry's death, and Harry waking up the day of the final task and him re-hunting the Horcruxes.

Harry must have talked for hours and when he was done, Flitwick summoned him a glass of water. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes as Harry drank deeply from the glass.

"Albus is- I can't believe this," Flitwick said finally.

"What am I supposed to do?" Harry asked.

"What are you supposed to do?" Flitwick repeated outrage, "Nothing, nothing you shouldn't have been responsible for any of this. It is us, the adults who should have to do somethin-"

"I am seventeen," Harry interrupted.

Flitwick sighed, "Perhaps, but you are in the body of your fourteen-year-old self."

"A war is coming. I can't sit back and do nothing, I will not wait and let what happened the first time around happen again."

"I will not let that happen either. I will be keeping an eye on Mr. Malfoy, Narcissa was one of my favourite students along with your mother. I will not allow either of you to come to ruin. And Severus is too close to this."

"But what do I do?" Harry asked again.

"You destroyed all the Horcruxes?"

Harry brought out the remains of Ravenclaw's Diadem and the cup, "All of them."

"May I?" Flitwick asked reaching out for it.

"I am not sure if it is safe to touch but I know it doesn't have a Horcrux in it anymore. But you can keep it."

Flitwick nodded and pulled open a drawer and slipped the cup and the diadem into by pulling on cloth it was resting on. "I will think on what to tell Minerva, Pomona, and Poppy when the time is right but let me ask you this, Harry, what more can be done at this moment? You've destroyed all that anchors him to this world and you have destroyed the remains of Riddle's father."

"I don't know," Harry said, "But we have to do something, we have to find Wormtail and Voldemort."

Flitwick sighed, "And with a tracker on your wand and the prohibition of underaged magic how do you plan to start? Live in the woods for the rest of your life? On the run? Do you even know where to start looking for him?"

Harry looked out the window, "I can't, it can't all be for nothing, I can't let them all die again."

"You prevented the Dark Lord from coming back into his full power. You destroyed the Horcruxes in one week, that is more than anyone else could have done. And you wouldn't have been able to do that if you hadn't already lived it. So this is what we are going to do. You are going back to the Dursleys for one more summer, you are going to study, you are going to come back to school and work for your own future for whatever it is you want to do. And if Voldemort ever gets close to you again he'll be in for a fight." Flitwick took a breath, "I am going to reach out to my contacts in the ministry. You and I are going to exchange letters over the summer so I know you are safe and mentally dealing with- with all that has happened. I am going to do everything I can to help you and stop him."

"But for now you want me to go home and be a good little boy," Harry said, too tired to put force behind the words.

"Do you want to tell everyone you time traveled? because that comes with its own set of problems."

"No," Harry said shortly. "But I can tell my friends, right?"

"Of course, honestly this is the sort of story that even if you tell it no one is going to want to believe it."

"You can't tell Dumbledore," Harry ordered but it came out as a sort of question.

Flitwick's nostrils flared, "No, no, I don't believe I will be telling Albus much of anything, his intentions were good, his actions are inexcusable."

Harry nodded and stood, "Thanks for listening to me, Professor Flitwick."

"It was my honor, Mr. Potter, feel free contact me about anything, even it seems insignificant or you need someone to talk to about personal matters. You can come to me with anything."

"Thank you," Harry said again before leaving, shutting the door softly behind him.

* * *

Harry trudged up the steps to Gryffindor Tower.

"Harry?"

Harry turned to the voice. "Luna?" he asked.

Had they met yet? He couldn't remember. Merlin, but he was tired, he had slept all week but still, he was wary.

"Yes, it's Luna. You look older," she told him. She stood on the steps above him, her white hair glowing, her luggage in her hands.

"I feel ancient," Harry tried to joke, but his voice was dull.

"Feel younger soon," she said with a smile before going on her way.

Harry was smiling the faintest bit as he reached Gryffindor Tower. Everyone was gone. He found his luggage packed at the foot of his bed, Ron or Hermione must have done. He moved slowly as he made his way to Hogsmeade. What did it matter if the train left without him? He had been worse off than that before.

Ron and Hermione cornered him on the train, questioning him. Yet after telling the whole story to Flitwick, Harry was drained. "Wormtail was there and I started throwing spells and I killed Voldemort's snake and Wormtail ran away with Voldemort," he said tonelessly.

"Oh," Hermione said, sitting back in her seat, "Well are you okay? Why did you spend a week in the hospital wing? Why didn't we get to see you?"

"Something happened to my scar," Harry pulled back his bangs. "It was bleeding."

"Mate, you can barely see it now," Ron remarked.

"I know," Harry said.

"What happened to it? What did Madame Pomfrey say?" Hermione pressed.

"It's healing."

They didn't talk much after that. Harry felt bad about not telling them, but he didn't have the words to tell them how he was, how he was feeling. He didn't know himself. He had no explanation for being alive and as he drifted to sleep on the Hogwarts Express he couldn't help thinking that falling asleep was far easier than walking to one's death, far easier than dying.

Maybe he should punch Sirius next time he saw him. His parents shouldn't have been proud of him, they should have been outraged that he had thrown his life away. He should have been outraged, but he was too tired to feel much of anything.

* * *

AN: So I wanted to try my luck writing Luna and Harry. Sorry the intro was a bit slow. Let me know what you thought? I post stories so I can read your reactions. If you have critics or questions or problems pm me, please? Thank you for reading!


	2. Summer Letters

KEYNOTE: Cannon timeline keeps Harry at the Dursleys for a month, I shifted it to more than two months.

AN: Thank you to the reviewers.

* * *

Chapter 2: Summer Letters

The most remarkable part of Harry's summer was no pain in his scar. Yet despite the lack of versions of what Voldemort was up to or about the Department of Mysteries Harry had a lot of nightmares about the war. Being stuck at the Dursleys did not help. Harry cooked, cleaned, and studied.

Hedwig, his beautiful, wonderful, best friend ever was his constant company except when Harry sent her to the bookstore. Harry's library was sure to make even Hermione envious now. Harry wrote to Professor McGonagall expressing his desire to drop Divination. He had seen more of the future than had ever desired. She sent an adamite response back with Hedwig, wishing him well and saying that he would have to pick another subject and depending on the subject he might have to take a class with a younger year. She also attached a new list of classes.

Harry had no idea what he should pick and it was that choice that prompted Harry to send his first letter to Professor Flitwick.

* * *

 _Dear Professor Flitwick,_

 _I want to thank you again for listening to me at the end of term. I hope all is well with you. I owled Professor McGonagall about switching out of Divinations. She wrote back saying I needed to pick another topic. I am staying with Care of Magical Creatures but I don't know what else would be worth it. Any suggestions as to what would be useful? I don't have much a preference so whatever you think is best, might you also suggest a good reading selection to catch up in that class?_

 _Warmest Regards,_

 _Harry Potter_

* * *

A few days later Hedwig returned with another, larger owl, carrying a small stack of books.

 _Dear Mr. Potter,_

 _I am delighted to hear from you. Arithmancy is probably your best bet for a practical class. Combined with Charms you can begin to learn about wards seeing as you have such a strong inclination for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I have sent some reading material that should catch you up on the material of the first year, though as Minerva indicated you will likely still be placed in a class with the fourth years. All the same, I would confirm with her. The Study of Ancient Runes should be your next choice though in that subject's core there is an element of Divinations. Confirm with Minerva that Arithmancy can fit into your schedule and you can begin some of the essay prompts. A short response should be sufficient for each as long as you understand the material. It was one of my best classes when I was your age, feel free to send me any questions. Also, if you find yourself bored we can always exchange discussion about Charms and DADA._

 _How are you doing? Do you have any friends back home you've been talking to? Is your family aware of what has been happening to you? Are you taking care of yourself?_

 _As always, if you need anything, reach out._

 _All the Very Best,_

 _Filius_

* * *

Harry gave the second owl who was a Hogwarts owl a letter for McGonagall to confirm Arithmancy as his choice.

Harry found himself rereading Flitwick's letter dozens of times over. Aside from Hermione and the rare letter from Ron no one had ever sent him such a personal letter. This summer no one was sending him letters. Aside from the one cryptic letter from Sirius who told him to keep his head down this summer.

Harry waited three days before replying to Flitwick. In those three days, Harry had read two out of the three books and four chapters of the first textbook. The ward stuff was a lot more interesting than the basics. But the basics were kinda fun too. It was magical math and like potions Harry didn't necessarily need a wand, he just needed to be magical.

* * *

 _Dear Professor Flitwick,_

 _Thank you for your help. I am really liking the books you sent me and Professor McGonagall confirmed that I have room and the time to take Arithmancy with the fourth year class._

 _As for your questions. I do not have friends here and the Dursleys do not like to talk about magic or anything related to it so I have told them nothing. The nightmares have been pretty bad but my scar does not hurt. I have been eating enough. I have been exercising a little but mostly I have been reading and completing my summer homework. I plan to force Professor Snape to give me an Outstanding or at least an Exceeds Expectation seeing as I am two years ahead._

 _Could you give me harder essays for your class when I get back to school? I received an E on my OWLs for your class. I would like to keep moving forward as I never got to do my seventh year._

 _Also, do you know if Dolores Umbridge will be teaching? I was thinking of starting up a DADA club and I was wondering if you or McGonagall could supervise it?_

 _Thank you for your time._

 _All the Best,_

 _Harry_

* * *

It was the longest letter Harry could ever remember sending someone. The most he had opened up to anyone outside of Ron and Hermione on paper. Reading it over, only the line about his OWLs and being two years ahead seemed odd. If anyone else read this they probably think he was crazy. Which was alright, Harry had been called worse.

Writing that letter gave Harry an idea. Harry sent Sirius a letter.

* * *

 _Hi Snuffles,_

 _Hope you are doing well and eating enough. I know things as they are we can't say much through letters but I wanted to ask you about Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration._

 _What do you think aside from the obvious moon consideration, is the most useful Transfiguration spells? Is it just natural talent that my dad had for the subject or did he study differently than other people?_

 _And for dueling what do you think is most important?_

 _Love,_

 _Harry_

* * *

It was a sedate letter, an academic letter and Sirius's response was the same, with little hints about anecdotes that he would tell Harry in person.

Harry began loving school in a way he had never before. He exchanged a near endless chain of letters with Sirius and Flitwick about Transfiguration, DADA, Charms, and Arithmancy.

Always before Harry had written people to talk about Voldemort or with Ron letters about Quidditch. But Harry wasn't fifteen, he was eighteen and had sort of survived a war.

Talking to Sirius, not about the straight theory of Transfiguration but the practical uses and about topics and spells that he read about in the book was a lot of fun. Maybe Harry should have been exchanging letters with Remus, but as much as Harry loved his old professor, Sirius seemed to care more. Besides for the more technical stuff he could send a letter to Flitwick. Harry had even gone so far as to send McGonagall a few questions.

Harry had always dumbed himself down, ever since Puntiuna had starved him for getting better grades than Dudley and then to remain friends with Ron, who preferred to do anything but homework. But Quidditch wasn't enough to keep his mind busy trapped in Surry. Harry almost started a half a dozen letters to Hermione who surely would have loved Harry's new interest in his academics but Hermione was sharp and she would know something major had changed in him. Sirius didn't really know Harry well enough for his interest in school to be a red flag. Hiding that he was two years ahead in material from Hermione, however, was going to be a problem.

Of course, he could always confide everything to Ron and Hermione and he wouldn't have to hide anything. Yet there still remained the issue of not being to explain it properly. If he told Sirius one day, his godfather would understand, having a fought in a war himself. Flitwick had been around for two wizarding wars. Ron hadn't lost a single family member nor had Hermione erased her parents' memory of her, they weren't Harry's two best friends who had been tortured, gone into hiding, broke into Gringotts and countless other live alternating, deadly deeds with Harry.

How could he confide in them? What if it hurt them to know the future? What if they started having nightmares like Harry? And perhaps worst of all, what if he told them and they never understood him?

* * *

Harry was grateful he didn't forget the date of the Dementor attack. Harry walked to the park, his wand prepared and just like last time he found Dudley and his friends. Harry and Dudley were walking back to the house, Harry partaking in the same teasing as last time, only Dudley didn't have the Cedric comeback as seldom as Harry slept apparently he no longer cried out in his sleep.

"Why do you have your stick out still?" Dudley asked, frowning down at Harry.

Harry still hated being short. Two years from now he would not be the tallest guy around but for right now, he was still short for his age.

"Something is bound to attack me sometime," Harry answered casually. _Only this time I'll be ready_ , Harry thought.

As if on cue the street became colder, the streetlights dimmer, and all the happiness in the world began to fade away as if the saturation of the landscape was being drained by some mighty hand.

The Dementors came streaking and towards them and wordlessly Harry summoned his patronus, his stag charging the dementors before they got close enough to do real damage. Harry pushed Dudley, "Run, Dudi-di-kins!"

They made it back to the house intact.

"What was that?" Dudley asked between panting breaths Harry in the entrance to the house.

"Dementors, jail guards that can suck your soul out of your body."

Dudley gaped at Harry. "Why go to that freak school if you have to deal with stuff like that?"

"Because it is better than living here," Harry answered honestly. "I have people who actually care about in my world."

Dudley didn't have a comeback for that. "I feel awful," he said instead, referring not to Harry's troubles but the depression the Dementors left behind them.

"Chocolate, we need chocolate."

Dudley, not one to question the need for sweets motioned for Harry to stand by the door as he went into the living room to ask Aunt Petunia for a chocolate bar. He came back and Harry was surprised to receive a small slice.

"Thanks," Harry said nibbling on the bit of chocolate.

"DAMNED OWLS!" Uncle Vernon shouted.

Harry sighed and stepped into the living room to go through the chorus of the Ministries talking letters.

"Ha ha," Uncle Vernon crooned, "You've been expelled."

"Not yet," Harry said, as the second and third owl came.

"What's happening?" Aunt Petunia asked.

"Harry saved me," Dudley volunteered.

"Saved you from what, son?" Uncle Vernon asked.

"A dementor," he said.

Aunt Petunia shrieked and half fainted onto the couch.

"What!?" Uncle Vernon roared.

"Well it was two Dementors, actually, and I used a charm to fend them off."

"We should have never taken you in!" Uncle Vernon yelled, "Putting our son in danger."

"If I wasn't around then the Dark Lord would be and if he were around then the Dementors would be one of the numerous dangers that you would have no defensive from," Harry said evenly. Uncle Vernon was easier to deal with when they weren't both angry. And last time Dudley had thrown up and been shaking, not chowing down on a chocolate bar.

"I have a gun!"

"And what good is a gun against something you can't even see?" Harry questioned.

"So we should be grateful?" Uncle Vernon.

"As long as you don't starve me or hit me or curse my parents' memory, I don't really care what you are," Harry said before returning to his room.

Harry wrote Flitwick and Sirius a letter and one to Amelia Bones.

* * *

 _Dear Flitwick,_

 _It happened like before. Minus one howler._

 _All the Best,_

 _Harry_

* * *

 _Dear Snuffles,_

 _I'll be good and I promise to stay inside. Dudley gave me chocolate, guess he's not all bad after all._

 _Love,_

 _Harry_

* * *

 _Dear Madam Bones,_

 _So can I sue the government for sending two Dementors after me and my cousin? I don't really want money or anything except for it not to happen again and being able to keep my wand so I can keep saving my own life._

 _Warm Regards,_

 _Harry Potter_

* * *

Flitwick's response was clipped and he promised to be at the hearing with Albus, along with McGonagall. Sirius sent back _I love ya kid._ And Madam Bones wrote back a rather informal letter.

* * *

 _Dear Mr. Potter,_

 _I will not allow anyone in the Ministry to break your wand. I will be digging into who sent the Dementors to muggle Surry. I only regret to say that you must still attend the hearing as the Minister himself requested it. As stupid as the formalities are they must be practiced. However, I implore you not worry, as the Head of Department of Law Enforcement, I can promise you will keep your wand and be able to attend Hogwarts for your Fifth Year. Try not to use any more magic, but do not hesitate to keep yourself safe if the need arises._

 _Yours Sincerely,_

 _Amelia Bones_

 _P.S. Susan says hi._

* * *

Harry smiled at the letter and wrote back:

 _Dear Madam Bones,_

 _Thank you so much._

 _Warm Regards,_

 _Harry_

 _P.S. Hi Susan._

* * *

When the Order came to pick him out at his home he was packed, his room clean, and Hedwig's empty cage was clean too. Harry had told her to go ahead to Sirius's place.

Harry chatted with Tonks happily and Remus gave Harry a quick hug.

"Thanks, Harry," Remus said.

"Thanks for what," Harry asked as he rolled on his broom closer toward the older wizard. It was good to be flying again. Harry was not going to get kicked off the team this year if he had to play nice with Umbridge he would. Well, at least he wouldn't pick a fight with her.

"Your letters to Sirius, he waits for them every day you know. He spends hours writing and perfecting his responses. I think you're the only thing keeping him sane."

Harry smiled, he knew exactly what Sirius was going through and he was glad to hear that the letters had meant as much to his Godfather as they had to him. "They've been the only thing keeping me sane too."

"A real interest in your studies, not just defense, huh? Sirius came to me for a couple of the questions you asked him," Remus said with a grin.

Harry shrugged, "What else was I supposed to do this summer, mope?"

Remus frowned, opening his mouth to say something but Tonks swept down and challenged Harry to race. Which Harry eagerly agreed to.

By the time Moody let them land they were freezing. But it had been completely worth it to taste the sky again.

* * *

Grimmauld Place was almost unrecognizable. It was, dare Harry even think it _clean._

Mrs. Weasley greeted them and Harry started to go around her to go see Sirius. Writing to him had been great but Harry could shake the feeling he was exchanging letters with the dead. Until Harry saw Sirius for himself, in the flesh, he couldn't really believe his godfather was alive. His godfather who like his parents had died for him, only Sirius had died because of Harry's mistakes.

"No, Harry," Mrs. Weasley, holding him by the shoulder, "There's an Order-"

Harry shrugged her off, his temper rising, "Like any of you have anything important to say. You talk and you talk but your actions are always too late to ever do anyone any good."

Momentarily stunned by Harry's hostility, he was able to get past her. There was a mixed reaction to Harry's barging in, several people looked annoyed or in Snape's case actively scowling, several more looked indifferent as Harry had said, they didn't truly have that much to discuss, while a handful smiled at him. Harry wondered why the Order had even been gathered, Voldemort had yet to return to power, but then maybe it was a good thing the Order was getting a head start.

Harry saw McGonagall who gave him a warm -if small smile. Harry ignored the Headmaster before the Headmaster had the chance to avert his eyes from Harry's. Sirius stood, his smile radiant, Harry hugged him tightly. Sirius chuckled when Harry nearly squeezed the life out of him and returned the fierce hug with an equal amount of warmth.

"How touching," Snape sneered, "But some of us of more important things to do with our time."

Harry let go of Sirius. Before Sirius could start a fight Harry said in a sincere voice with a huge smile toward the dour wizard, "Sorry, Professor. I'll leave."

Harry grinned at Sirius's shocked expression as he left the room.

Harry ran up the steps. The house elf heads were still in the hall but it was still remarkably clean compared to his first visit here.

Hermione jumped him as soon as he reached the bedroom they were staying in. Harry hugged her back.

"Oh, Harry, you must be so angry at us!" she started, "Ron, Harry's here!"

Harry smiled at his two best friends, internally laughing at the thought of these younger versions snogging. "I'm not mad, Hermione."

"Hey, Harry!" Ron greeted grinning.

"How have you been?" Harry asked them both.

"Fine," Hermione said warily, "You sure you're not mad?"

"Nope, not mad," Harry said. "Ron do you want to kick my butt at a game of wizarding chess?"

Ron's face lit up like it was Christmas, "Yeah, sure mate."

Hermione frowned at them, "Um, Harry, you seem calm about the whole Dementor attack…"

"I sent Hedwig to Madam Bones," Harry said. Hedwig flew down from her perch in the room to cuddle on Harry's shoulder, "And she said there was nothing to worry about. Fudge is out to get me is all."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a worried glance.

"The Head of Magical Law Enforcement owled you back?"

"Of course she did," he said, "Aside from being Harry Potter, Dementor attacks in a muggle suburb is a big enough deal for her to be personally involved in."

"Mate," Ron started slowly, "You sure you're feeling alright?"

"Honestly," Harry assured them, "I'm fine."

"Really," Hermione asked, "Because at the end of last year you didn't talk to us at all and we were prepared for you to be angry and now… now your-"

"I've been exchanging letters with Sirius almost every other day all summer," Harry said. "I know no one was abandoning me."

Fred and George apparated into the room. "Harry!" they said in unison.

"Hi Gred, hi Forge," Harry said.

They held up extendable ears, "You want to listen in to the Order meeting?"

Harry eyed the ears, yeah he would like to know but-

Mrs. Weasley called them down for supper.

Fred and George sighed. Fred said, "Guess we are too late this time."

George pocketed the ears, "We had better hide these before Mum trashes these too."

"Is everything going according to plan then?" Harry asked as they headed down the steps.

They smiled at him. George whispered, "Yeah, we got a space in Diagon Alley."

"What are you whispering about now?" Hermione asked giving the twins a suspicious look.

They only smirked at Hermione before disapparating, Mrs. Weasley yelled at them when they re-appeared downstairs.

Harry got to Sirius's side in record time.

Snape turned his chin up at the happy pair only to almost trip at the elf who appeared in front of him.

The elf bowed low, "Kreacher welcomes, Master Potter."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "You two have met?"

"Dobby introduced us," Harry supplied.

"I thought the elf was yours, Sirius?" Snape inquired.

"I thought so too," Sirius said, "But Harry can have him. He seems reasonably civil with him."

Kreacher deepened his bow, so that his large ears brushed the floor, "Kreacher would be honored to serve Master Potter."

"Okay," Sirius agreed. A power washed through the room as Kreacher's loyalties shifted.

"Idiot!" Snape hissed. "Now we will have to re-"

"Kreacher, I forbid you from sharing anything you know, have learned, or have heard as well as will hear and learn with anyone by either magical or mundane means outside the Order without my explicit permission," Harry commanded.

Snape's lips tightened but he gave one short nod and left.

Sirius elbowed Harry, "That's better than the command Albus came up with."

Harry grinned.

"Kreacher will be cleaning, Master can call if he needs Kreacher," the elf said before popping away.

"Why does he like you?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged, "I must remind him of someone."

Sirius frowned at Harry, "I suppose you are sort of like my little brother, even maybe a more than you are like James. Though Reggie got messed up with Death Eaters."

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Harry said and he wanted to tell him how Regulus had died fighting against Voldemort. But right now wasn't the time or place for that talk.

Sirius shook himself like a dog shaking off water and Harry saw that their letters had helped him recover more of himself. He looked healthier and more cheerful than he had in their original timeline. It was a ray of hope in what Harry was sure would be a difficult year, even knowing the future, Harry's luck was not to be trusted.

* * *

AN: I know I am making Harry more academically inclined but remember that he is older than his peers now. My Harry will be powerful, smarter but not invincible, he still has a temper and will still make mistakes. Please, please share your thoughts and reactions with me?


	3. Slipping Through the Cracks

KEYNOTE: I am treating Harry's scar Horcrux like a tumor, you don't know if it is cancerous or not until you open it up. Hence, Poppy missing it.

AN: There are direct quotes from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Chapter 3: Slipping Through the Cracks

" _Nearly time for bed, I think," said Mrs. Weasley with a yawn._

" _Not just yet, Molly," said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. "You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."_

 _The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily relaxed, it was now alert, even tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary._

"Has he back into his full power yet?" Harry asked immediately.

" _No, Sirius," Mrs. Weasley said, "They're too young."_

 _She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched an its arms, every trace of drowsiness gone._

" _Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house over_ two _months. He's got the right to know what's been happen-"_

" _Hang on!" interrupted George loudly._

" _How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily._

" _We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and y du haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George._

' _"You're too young, you're not in the Order,"" said Fred, in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like his mother's. "Harry's not even of age!"_

Well, Harry thought, as far as they knew he wasn't.

" _It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing," said Sirius calmly, "that's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand -"_

 _'"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry!" said Mrs. Weasley sharply. The expression on her normally kind face looked dangerous. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"_

Which is when Harry snapped, "Just tell me if he has regained his power or not I can guess the rest."

"He hasn't regained power but the rumors of him coming back, of him being the one to kidnap you have shifted things," Sirius said.

"Haven't you been reading the papers, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"No."

"Well, they've been saying really awful things. Reeta Skeeter heard you tell Dumbledore 'Graveyard, Voldemort, Pettigrew, they both got away,' and now everyone thinks, well that you'r-"

"You're mad," Ron supplied, "Like a lunatic."

"Well not everyone thinks so but according to the papers," Hermione added.

"But some of the Death Eaters and Voldemort's lesser followers have begun to move and so have we, that is the Order and Dumbledore. Even if he isn't at full strength yet he still has resources, beyond Wormtail."

"But what can he do?" Hermione asked. "What does he want if he isn't just trying to come back to life."

"He's after something," _Sirius said, "Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."_

Harry's couldn't keep the look of despair off his face, "It is in the Department of Mysteries, and you shouldn't bother with it. The damage has already been done."

Sirius sat forward, surprise and worry warring on his face, "How can you possibly know what it is?"

The rest of the room was hushed. Even Mrs. Weasley who had been trying to shoo her children out of the room, paused looking at Harry.

"It's nothing. It's why my parents were murdered, but it changes nothing now. You should just let him have it. Voldemort already wants me dead, so it's nothing, completely meaningless," Harry said as he looked at Sirius and remembered this beloved man falling into the Veil. Sirius had died for him, died so Harry could hunt Horcruxes and martyr himself later on.

Harry bolted from the table, from the room, he ran to the bathroom slamming the door behind him as his stomach reprocessed his dinner into the toilet.

* * *

Sirius had run after Harry, Arthur stopping Molly from following.

"How could he know what it is?" Molly asked, "We don't even know what it is."

The room's occupants exchanged glances. They were all thinking the same question, _What had happened to Harry during the last task?_

* * *

Sirius stopped just in time to keep his nose from being broken as the door slammed shut in his face. He probably should have knocked but he doubted Harry could hear over him as he retched. Sirius shut the door gently and went to the floor on his knees so he could rub Harry's back.

It was not long until Harry was dry heaving and in tears. "It's my fault their dead."

"No, Harry, no," Sirius said softly but with feeling, "your parents loved you, you were their world. Only your death could have destroyed them."

 _We are so proud of you, You're so brave._

Harry heaved into the toilet again.

"What's happened, Harry?" Sirius asked. "What's happened to you?"

Harry shook his head and stopped when the motion made the world spin.

"How did you know about the weapon?"

"It's the prophecy," Harry said too quietly.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"It's the prophecy, the one that made my parents going into hiding," Harry said, looking up at Sirius.

Horror and understanding crossed his face, "Who told you? Dumbledore?"

"Voldemort, he showed, he was inside of my head, he showed me-" Harry broke off and grabbed a towel to wipe his sweaty face.

Sirius put a hand on Harry's cheek, "How did he show you?"

"He got inside my head, in my dreams, my nightmares, my scar hurt when he was angry or happy- He used me, he wanted me to get it for him."

Sirius pulled Harry into his arms, rubbing his back. "It's going to be okay, Harry, you're going to be alright."

Harry clung to his godfather, "Just don't die, Sirius, please, just don't die."

Sirius held him tighter, "I am not going to fail you again, Harry, I am not going to leave you again."

But he had, and wounds long pushed aside came tumbling forward. Harry didn't cry, yet Sirius stayed with him in the darkly lit bathroom for hours as Harry tried to work up the will to act 'normal.'

Harry wanted nothing more than to drop out of school and run away with Sirius, run away from Voldemort and the world he had tainted.

* * *

A few days later, there was an Order meeting. Harry had ardently refused to talk any more about the incident, even to Sirius.

Dumbledore began with, "Our top priority must be keeping the door to the room in the Dep-"

"Harry says we shouldn't bother with that," Sirius interrupted.

Albus whipped his attention toward Sirius, "What does Harry know of the Department of Mysteries? What did you tell him?"

"Nothing," Tonks jumped in, "he told us what it was, or at least he told Sirius what it was and he said it didn't matter. That it had already done its damage."

"Yes, and we should take Potter at his word about everything, I suppose," Severus said snidely.

"Snape," Sirius said seriously waiting for the other man to make eye contact. "It's the Prophecy."

Severus's sallow face drained of all semblance of color, making him look wraithlike. He wet his lips before asking, "And how would Potter know about the Prophecy?"

"He said the Dark Lord showed him, that he broke into his mind, his dreams, and showed him," Sirius said.

The entire room shifted uneasily.

"But that's impossible, Riddle doesn't know the full Prophecy, how could Harry?" Albus asked.

"More?" Severus asked. He looked like he was going to be sick. "More, of that accursed thing? What more could it possibly say?"

"It isn't relevant-" Albus soothed.

"The hell, it isn't!" Sirius said slamming his fist on the table. "Lily and James told me what you told them but Lily thought you left something out, that your speech was too prepared, too posed when you told them. What did you leave out? _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal._ What's missing? What are you asking us to risk our lives for when Harry seems convinced the Prophecy means Voldemort will want him more dead than he already does?"

Albus looked furious, "Those words were not something I would have had you share."

Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Nymphadora, Remus, Kingsley, and Hestia looked horrified at the prophecy.

Minerva was close to tears. "Albus," she said sharply, "Harry cannot be the only way to defeat him. He's lost too much already, how can we ask this of him?"

"You told Lily and James this?" Remus asked. "You told her this when she was still pregnant? No wonder her heart was broken. Why James was so on edge. They weren't just afraid of Voldemort because they were known Order members. He was after Harry, he was specifically after their son." It was not a pleasant realization.

What remained of Severus's heart clenched. The pain he had caused Lily even more than her death, he poisoned her last years alive. For not the first time Severus wished it had been him. Wished Albus had caught him at the door and struck him down. Wished James Potter hadn't saved his life and had let Lupin eat him. Wished anything could have changed that wouldn't have led to Lily suffering and dying.

"If Harry's mind has been infiltrated then he needs to learn to protect himself. Severus, you will teach the boy Occlumency."

Severus nodded numbly.

Minerva's temper was building, "You cannot pit the boy against the Dark Lord."

"At the rate things are going," Kingsley said in his deep voice, "Harry is his own greatest defense. We can't count on being there when he needs help. We should reconsider withholding information from him."

"And then he will tell his friends-" Severus protested.

"Harry's not talking to his friends," Sirius said. "He's barely talking to me. Something has happened to him."

"Something aside from You-Know-Who invading his mind?" Arthur asked.

"Sirius," Albus started, "Harry is still a child."

Sirius frown at him, "If you mean he's human and can make mistakes than I would agree with you, but show me his childhood, explain to me how living with the Dursleys and getting killed almost every year at Hogwarts has somehow added to his immaturity. When I talk with him it isn't a child I am speaking to."

" _He isn't James, Sirius, no matter how much he might look like him," Mrs. Weasley said_.

"I know that."

"Harry will be told what he needs to be told when the time comes," Albus said.

"And what about what Harry tells us?" Sirius asked. "He's beginning not to trust you old man. He gets agitated any time your name is brought up in conversation. What happens when Harry knows more than us and he chooses to leave you in the dark?"

"That will not happen," Albus said, self-assured. "Harry might be upset with me for the moment but he has always trusted me."

Severus and Sirius exchanged a look. They were two men who tended to despise one another for the other's weaknesses and screw ups, but they were also two men who had been left behind by Albus Dumbledore -though they trusted the elder wizard, in their hearts they knew that Albus wasn't always deserving of that trust.

* * *

Harry threw ten gallons into the fountain as he passed. He felt some reluctance handing the wand to the guard.

Harry followed Arthur up to his office then followed him at a run behind Arthur as they rushed to their appointment. Harry was amused that despite the changes he had already made in the time things were much the same.

Just as Flitwick had promised he and Minerva were in the stands behind him.

Albus appeared as his defendant just as he had the first time.

This time, however, Albus caught Harry's eye. Harry smiled a bit before looking up at Madame Bones. She winked at him and Harry had to suppress a grin.

As scary as this dungeon had been the first time around, Harry was now enjoying all of these adults playing house.

Madame Bones was prepared and took control of the courtroom at once. "We are all he today because of certain members of this Ministry having a personal vendetta against Harry James Potter who has been accused of underaged magic. I would like to dismiss this case as I have confirmed that it was under ministry order that two dementors were sent to Little Whinging, Surrey. I do not know yet who dispatched them but I know that Mr. Potter's use of a corporeal patronus to save his own life and soul as well as his cousin's, Dudley Dursley who Mr. Potter lives -is quite reasonable. I do have all the facts correct, don't I, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, ma'am," Harry said.

The room was silent and Albus looked surprised.

"It is just a story," Fudge said. "A made up-"

"I looked into after Mr. Potter sent me a letter asking if he could sue us for sending dementors after him. As I said I have not found who sent them but I can confirm that the records show that they were sent. Is there anyone who doubts my word, my office?"

There was a long silence in which no one dared to go against Madame Bones.

She clapped her hands once, "Settled, Harry J. Potter is cleared of all charges. Thank you, Mr. Potter, Headmaster Dumbledore, Professors Flitwick and McGonagall for your time, you may leave. The rest of you lot will stay to be interviewed about the Dementor incident by my team of Aurors and Minister if you would be so kind as to supervise, seeing as you seemed so concerned about this case. I will be in my office getting real work done."

Harry was grinning as he ran over to Flitwick and McGonagall. "Thanks for coming, Professors," Harry said warmly as they made their way to the door, that several Aurors were coming through.

Albus followed behind them more sedately.

"Hi Mrs. Figg," Harry greeted as they emerged into the hall.

"Hi, Harry," she replied drifting to Albus's side.

"I cannot believe they were going to give you a full criminal hearing, for a minor," Flitwick said.

"It was amusing to see Madame Bones knock Fudge down a notch," McGonagall said falling into step beside Harry.

"You sent Madame Bones a letter, Harry?" Albus asked from behind him.

"Yep," Harry said shortly.

Flitwick shot Albus a distinctively cold look.

"Filius is something the matter?" Albus asked.

"Not at all, this situation itself is simply outrageous," Filius said back.

"You didn't have to come, I was surprised to see you both in the stands. How did you know when the hearing was? It wasn't in the papers."

"Harry gave me the date and Minerva and I chose to come early," Filius said.

"I was not aware the two of you were in correspondence."

"Harry switched electives," Minerva said, "Filius has been ensuring he can at least start with the fourth years in Arithmancy so he isn't two years behind."

Albus blinked, "Which class did you drop, Harry?"

"Divinations," Harry said. "I have no talent for it. Besides Trelawny is more or less the reason my future has always been in the gutter."

"Do not talk about that here," Albus warned.

Harry shrugged and switched topics. "I really do like Arithmancy. The concept of wards is too cool. It reminds me of muggle math."

"Do you miss muggle school?" Filius asked.

"Not in the slightest," Harry said.

Minerva's lips turned up at the corners, "Magic is excellent."

"And friends, and not having guardians who yell at you for getting better grades than their lazy son," Harry said.

Minerva's mouth pinched and she glared at Albus, "I told you those muggles were foul. The worst sort of people."

Harry blinked, "You know the Dursleys?"

"I was there the night Albus insisted you stay with them. I argued against it."

"It was the safest op-"

Harry snorted. They had reached Mr. Weasley who was ready to take him back to Grimmauld Place. Harry turned to meet Albus's gaze, "You only care about my safety when it suits you. Bye Professors, thanks again for being here."

Mr. Weasley waved to the three professors before leading Harry to the exit.

* * *

Minerva crossed her arms and glared at Albus.

"What?" he asked.

"He isn't going back there this coming summer."

"The blo-"

"No," she cut him off, "I will take him in myself if Sirius still isn't cleared. But he isn't going back there."

"Harry didn't make the Dursleys sound too terrible," Flitwick said, gazing after Harry.

"No," Minerva said sadly, "which means it's probably even worse than what little he does complain about them."

Albus ran a hand down his white beard, and it was harder than it should have been to shove down his compassion for the boy. Albus had always admired the boy but now something was changing, something in Harry, in the Order, in the staff, and Albus was not sure he was ready for those changes.

* * *

AN: Not trying to bash Albus, but he will need to form a different relationship with Harry. Next chapter we go back to Hogwarts. I think I am going to keep following the plot of the Order of the Phoenix and adapt as my changes take effect. Also I will be adding way more Luna Lovegood. Please let me know what you thought and what you reacted to?


	4. A Shift in the Paradigm

AN: I am going not trying to Albus bash but people have a right to be upset with him for setting Harry up to face the Dark Lord.

Chapter 4: A Shift in the Paradigm

Harry almost walked into Lucius Malfoy. Harry looked up at the well groomed, proud, blonde pureblood and remembered him unkempt on his knees, remembered him being tortured, remembered him and his wife pleading and fighting for Draco's life.

Lucius Malfoy had such different beliefs from Harry's and yet- and yet Harry felt the hatred he had always had for this man fade. Harry would fight him if he tried to hurt some he cared for but he pitied the wizard too much to work up enough resentment to hate him.

"Hello Mr. Malfoy," Harry greeted cordially.

Both Arthur and Lucius froze in what they were going to say and stared down at the Boy Who Lived.

Lucius Malfoy regained himself first. "Mr. Potter," he said civilly.

"Hope you've been enjoying the summer," Harry said.

Arthur openly gaped at Harry.

"It has been refreshingly sunny," Lucius said automatically. "How as your summer been?" His training more or less demanding he be polite to someone being polite to him, unless they were a mudblood or a blood traitor. Harry Potter was too, too- influential to be rude to if the boy had gone out of his way to being civil.

"I've been reading a lot, trying to catch up on wasted time and all," Harry answered.

Lucius raised a brow. Should he probe? Harry Potter was many things, a liar -despite what the papers said, was not among them. Which means that the Dark Lord was back, even if Lucius personally had had no contact with him. Severus hadn't told him anything other than Dumbledore believed Potter and was searching. "Draco has been studying as well seeing as the OWLs are this year. I must get on with my business here," Lucius said trying to extract himself from this bizarre interaction. "I trust your trial went in your favor?"

Harry nodded, "It did. Have a good day, Mr. Malfoy."

"Good day, Mr. Potter," Lucius said, a thoughtful expression laying claim to his features.

Harry pulled Arthur along to the exit.

When they were out of earshot Arthur demanded, "What was that?"

"Manners?" Harry replied, "I didn't say anything wrong did I?"

Arthur shook his head, "No, but that was Malfoy." He said Malfoy the way Harry said Wormtail.

"If you treat every person who doesn't see the world like you do they will be your enemy," Harry said.

Arthur frowned, "He is our enemy."

"Maybe, be he is also a self centered person and a father. He is not a good person but that does not mean he is incapable of doing good things."

"And what are the chances that man does something good for anyone else?"

Harry shrugged, "When someone makes him choose between his idea of the way the world should be and his family."

Arthur didn't know what to say that. He wanted to say that Malfoy was all evil but then Arthur could see himself doing very bad things to save his family, perhaps Malfoy was capable of making different choices. Arthur shook his head again, "You should not trust that man."

"I don't," Harry said, "But I don't have to go out of my way to be mean to him either."

"You went out of your way to be nice to him," Arthur muttered.

Harry grinned up at Mr. Weasley, "And the looks on your faces was completely worth it."

Arthur laughed as they stepped into the streets of Muggle London.

* * *

Sirius and Harry were sitting with Buckbeak in Sirius's mother room as Harry described the trial.

"You really weren't worried?" Sirius asked.

"I haven't been preaching that Voldemort is back, that's Dumbledore's gig. I don't think the public hates me enough that the Ministry could get away with snapping my wand. Fudge needs to be expelled from power, he's a fool," Harry said, resting his chin on his knees.

"He's jealous of Dumbledore and he is weak and insecure. Not a good combination for a leader. Harry, why aren't you hanging out with Ron and Hermione."

Harry shrugged, "I'll be with them all year, I have one night left here."

Sirius smiled, "I'm going to miss you."

 _Not as much as I've missed you,_ Harry thought. "How hard is it to become an animagus?"

Grinning said, "Harder yet simpler than you would think. James had an easier time with it than I did. It involves a lot of soul searching or in my case a lot of trusting your own magic. James was able to picture his animal form before his first time. I just jumped into and Pete- Well, James and I practiced transfiguring him into a rat and eventually he figured it out himself."

"Wait, so did you guys pick a rat for his form?" Harry asked.

"No, there is a transfiguration spell that just turns people into an animal, a non-specified animal. Most people don't use it in duals because there is always the chance the person turns into a lion and then your in worse shape than you were with the human, magical or otherwise."

"So why did my dad have an easier time with it than you?"

Sirius put a hand into his curls, pulling gently at his scalp. "James was more comfortable with himself, well, why shouldn't he have been, he was rich, talented, good looking, and had parents who loved him. Your grandparents Harry, they were remarkable people. They took me in when I ran away sixteen. Anyway, James liked who he was, knew he was, sure he was full of himself, and big headed at times but he never had a problem with who he was.

"Me on the other hand. Well did you Remus ever tell you about what I did to Snape?"

Harry shook his head. He knew the story but he'd never heard Sirius tell it.

"Well, we were always picking on Snape. We were bullies really, not the Snivellus didn't give as good as he got but we were usually the ones to start it. It didn't help that the girl James was gone on was Snape's best friend."

"My mum's best friend was Snape?"

"Yep. Lily was, how do I say this Lil's a bit like Hermione. Brilliant, bullheaded and not always the easiest person to like until you really got to know them. She was a lot to take in, but she was unfailing kind. You got that from her. Anyway as we got older I think our pranks got meaner as did Snape. He figured out there was something up with Remus and he kept watching us.

"You have to understand, Harry, that I honestly believed that if Snape found out about Remus being a werewolf he would find a way to get him expelled. So one full moon Snape was skulking around and I goaded him into finding a way to the Shrieking Shack."

"Did you mean to kill him?" Harry asked.

"No," Sirius said, his face flushed with shame, "But I was wrong and stupid because I should have acknowledged that Snape could have gotten killed. And well I think I hurt Remus more than anyone there. Had Remus woken up to either having turned someone else or killing Severus…" He took a deep breath, "Frankly, I am surprised Remus ever forgave me. Him and James didn't talk to me for weeks afterwards and I had detention for the rest of the year. By rights I should have been expelled but Albus is very good at giving second chances even to people who probably don't deserve it."

"You're not a bad person," Harry said.

Sirius smiled sadly, "I'm far from perfect. It's why when I became an animagus I wasn't able to see what I would be, because I wasn't willing to look that deep. So I jumped blindly, knowing I was strong enough magically to achieve it. I was a dog and it was great and then I saw my reflection. Figures I would be a Grim. An omen of death."

Harry put a hand on Sirius's shoulder, "I've made mistakes too."

"Not ones that resulted in people dying, Harry," Sirius said.

Harry felt his heart ache and he wanted to tell Sirius that he had gotten him killed but Harry was ready to tell Sirius about the future, a future Harry had every intention of changing. "I killed Professor Quirrell."

Sirius blinked, "What?"

"Quirinus Quirrell, I killed him in my first year."

Sirius looked lost, "Why? How? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Dumbledore hushed it up I think. 'His death was a terrible accident.' But it wasn't, I killed him, and I didn't have to. Had I just kept my nose out of it Dumbledore's Mirror of Erised would have kept it safe."

"Keep what safe?"

"The Philosopher's Stone."

"What was that doing at Hogwarts and why would Quirinus want- He was working for Voldemort?"

"He had Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head. He wore a turban to class, he was our DADA Professor."

Sirius just stared at Harry for a moment. Finally, he asked, "How did you kill him?"

"I held onto his face."

"That doesn't make any sense, Harry, how does holding onto his face kill a wizard plus a dark lord."

"Whatever my mother did to save me, it kept the Dark Lord from being able to touch me. Touching hurt us both, but it burned Quirrell's face and I held on even when I passed out. It resulted in killing Quirrell. Voldemort got away as a spirit."

"You were eleven?" Sirius asked.

"Yes."

"Merlin, Harry! Why didn't you ask for help?"

"We told McGonagall someone was after the stone. We thought it was Snape but he turned out to be protecting the thing. Hermione figured out how to get by fluffy and the plants. I caught the key and Ron won the chess match, while Hermione got past the potions. I got Voldemort-Quirrell and the stone in the mirror."

"Harry, Quirrell was a fully fledged wizard he could have killed you."

"I killed him first and if I had been smarter I wouldn't have been in that situation."

"Harry-" Sirius was cut off when Mrs. Weasley knocked on the door.

"Come down you two, we are celebrating!" she called.

"Coming, Molly!" Sirius called. Before turning to Harry, "We can finish this conversation later, but before we go down are you disappointed about not being a prefect? You haven't been talking much to your friends as- you don't seem as close is all."

"I am not upset about it, I don't want the responsibility. Especially, since I have to take Occlumency with Snape," Harry couldn't keep the distaste out of his voice. He never wanted another person in his mind, least of all with all secrets he had now. Snape or Dumbledore knowing he was a Harry from the future was nothing but trouble.

"You seem so distant with them. You sent me a lot of letters this summer did you exchange of them with them? I am sure Hermione would talk with you about school work for hours."

"It isn't them, Sirius, it's me. After the last task, after seeing Wormtail and Voldemort again it just sort of hit me. This life isn't a game, I could have died, and if Cedric was with me… This life isn't a fairytale, some adventure, people could get permanently hurt. I am having a hard time keeping my patience with Ron and even Hermione, she's brilliant but she also, she also assumes she knows everything or at least is cable of understanding everything and anything. She thinks you can learn it in a book, and that everyone has the same moral compass. But you can't, there are some things that you just can't understand. Right and wrong isn't so black and white."

Sirius looked at Harry, and was amazed by him. "You're a wiser and a better man, Harry, than I will ever be. Just promise you'll try to have fun this year don't take life so seriously you forget to enjoy what you have."

Harry nodded and gave Sirius a hug before they joined everyone down stairs.

"Sirius?" Harry asked pausing at the open door with the rattling cabinet that housed the bogat. "Can I borrow your wand?"

Sirius looked into the room, "You want to take care of the boget? Didn't I just tell you to have fun?"

"Ridiculous is fun," Harry said innocently.

Sirius rolled his eyes but stood back waving Harry forward, passing him his wand. Harry swished the wand that seemed to purr in his hand, not like it saw him as a master but like a cat momentarily approving of him. The cabinet unlocked and the boget emerged, shifted and it wasn't a Dementor that emerged, but his mother. She was beautiful, fiery hair, shining emerald eyes so similar to his own. She held out her hand, beckoning him forward and what she said sent a chill down to his very soul, "Come to me, son, this dream is ending."

Harry screamed a ridiculous at her, and she shattered into glass shards as if she had been a stained glass window, the shards whirled into a small vortex shrinking into a spot on the floor. The Resurrection Stone rested inertly on the ground and Harry understood what his fear was. He feared his parents wanted him dead, that Sirius wanted him dead, that Harry himself really was dead and this second chance was nothing more than a dream.

He raised Sirius's wand again and almost whispered, "Ridiculous." The stone turned into sand and faded into nothing, defeated.

Harry turned to give Sirius his wand back. Sirius and Snape were standing in the doorway. Snape was staring at the place where Lily had been standing.

"Harry! Sirius! Come down to eat!" Mrs. Weasley called.

Mrs. Black's portrait started shrieking.

Sirius took his wand back and went to go shut up his mother, giving Harry a parting look though didn't pry.

Snape stood frozen to the spot. His onyx eyes finally focusing on Harry, "You're afraid of Lily? You're own mother?"

"No," Harry said, "I'm afraid that by dying for me, she died for nothing, just one more sorrow in a lineage of pain and suffering."

Snape said nothing, could say nothing, only wonder at the boy who -as it would appear, he knew nothing about.

Harry went down the stairs to join the party. He smiled at Ron and Hermione taking his place at the table.

* * *

Harry stayed up late that night with Sirius. They avoided anymore emotionally depressing stories and Sirius stuck to stories about Transfiguration and detentions with James and McGonagall.

Harry was able to convince Sirius to stay safe at Grimmauld Place. Even so, their group was almost late getting onto the Hogwarts Express.

Hermione and Ron went up front with the Prefects. Harry watched them go with a feeling of relief. It was agustating to pretend he was normal around them. They both knew knew something had changed in him but he only got funny looks when he started talking about subject. Harry had resorted to keeping his mouth mostly shut around them and only speaking when he had to. Which was a bad sign in and of itself but they seemed to attribute it to his long summer at the Dursleys with only two and half weeks at Grimmauld Place with Sirius.

Harry took Hedwig and his luggage and followed Ginny like he had in his first fifth year train ride.

People looked at him through windows and whispered to each other. Harry ignored them. They met Neville in the hall in front of Luna's compartment. Harry greeted Neville before going into Luna's compartment not waiting for Ginny or Neville.

Luna wouldn't look at him like he was freak, or acting odd, or anything irritating like that.

"Hi, Luna, can we sit with you?"

She looked up from her copy of the Quibbler, her wand behind her ear, her eyes unblinking as she looked into him. The corner of her mouth turned up, "Hi, Harry. You can."

" _Thanks," said Ginny, smiling at her._

Harry sat beside Luna grinning. "How was your summer?" he asked her. Harry didn't know why exactly but it felt like Luna was the Luna from his time. Or maybe it was the fact that Harry knew for a fact that time travel wasn't something she would be overly surprised about or hold against him.

She put down her magazine down and ran a hand down her long blonde curls. "Oh, it was good, quite lovely really," she turned her eyes to Neville, " _And I don't know who you are."_

" _I'm nobody," said Neville hurriedly._

" _No you're not," said Ginny sharply. "Neville Longbottom-Luna Lovegood. Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw."_

" _Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure," said Luna in a singsong voice._

Neville turned to Harry, " _Guess what I got for my birthday?"_

"A plant?" Harry guessed and slipped out his wand. He was not getting slimed on this time around.

Neville _dug the hand that was not keeping a firm grip on Trevor into his schoolbag and after a little bit of rummaging pulled out what appeared to be a small grey cactus in a pot, except that it was covered with what looked like boils rather than spines._

" _Mimbulus mimbletonia," he said proudly._

 _It was pulsating slightly, giving it the rather sinister look of some diseased internal organ._

" _It's really, really rare," said Neville, beaming. "I don't know if there's one in the greenhouse at Hogwarts, even. I can't wait to show it to Professor Sprout. My Great Uncle Algie got it for me in Assyria. I'm going to see if I can breed from it… It's got an amazing defensive mechanism. Here, hold Trevor for me... '_

 _He dumped the toad into Harry's lap and took a quill from his schoolbag. Luna Lovegood's popping eyes appeared over the top of her upside-down magazine, watching what Neville was doing. Neville held the Mimbulus mimbletonia up to his eyes, his tongue between his teeth, chose his spot, and gave the plant a sharp prod with the tip of his quill._

"Neville, I don't think that is a good idea," Harry started but he was too late.

Harry's shield charm saved Luna and himself, but Ginny and Neville...

" _Sosorry," he gasped. "I haven't tried that before. . . . Didn't realise it would be quite so. . . Don't worry, though, Stinksap's not poisonous," he added nervously_ , looking at Ginny _who spat out a mouthful_ _onto the floor_.

 _At that precise moment the door of their compartment slid open._

" _Oh . . . hello, Harry," said a nervous voice. 'Um . . . bad time?"_ It was _Cho Chang, the Seeker on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team._

"Hi," said Harry. Cho was still pretty but Harry no longer had the slightest interest. He hadn't since dating Ginny. But as pretty and cool as Ginny was Harry couldn't bring himself to see her as more than a friend. He didn't even see her as the same person from sixth and seventh year. It hadn't worked between Harry or Cho or Ginny then and he had no reason to believe or even want it to work now.

"How's Cedric?" Harry asked.

"Don't know, we um broke up," _said Cho. "Well … just thought I'd say hello . . . 'bye then."_

 _Rather pink in the face, she closed the door and departed._

" _Never mind," said Ginny bracingly. "Look, we can easily get rid of all this." She pulled out her wand. "Scourgify!"_

 _The Stinksap vanished._

" _Sorry," said Neville again, in a small voice._

 _Ron and Hermione did not turn up for nearly an hour, by which time the food trolley had already gone by._

 _"I'm starving," said Ron, stowing Pigwidgeon next to Hedwig, grabbing a Chocolate Frog from Harry and throwing himself into the seat next to him. He ripped open the wrapper, bit off the frog's head and leaned back with his eyes closed as though he had had a very exhausting morning._

" _Well, there are two fifth-year prefects from each house," said Hermione, looking thoroughly disgruntled as she took her seat. "Boy and girl from each."_

" _And guess who's a Slytherin prefect?" said Ron, still with his eyes closed._

"Draco _,_ " Harry said as he flipped through a copy of the Quibbler Luna had given him.

" _Course," said Ron bitterly, stuffing the rest of the Frog into his mouth and taking another._

" _And that complete cow Pansy Parkinson," said Hermione viciously. "How she got to be a prefect when she's thicker than a concussed troll…"_

Harry pointed to an article about Disney Paris, "I want to try that."

"What?" Ron asked.

Luna looked over and smiled, "It would be fun."

"Performing magic tricks at a muggle amusement park," Harry explained.

"That's illegal," Hermione said.

Harry shrugged, "Not if your not harming anyone or doing stuff that can't be accomplished without magic. Like levitation or sparks or making birds appear. It would be fun to do in front of children who believe and parents who don't and know that it really is real."

Ron looked at Harry, "You want to entertain muggle children?"

"For one afternoon it might be fun."

Luna nodded.

"I can't wait to catch Malfoy and his goons at something. _I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. "I . . . must . . . not . . . look . . . like . . . a . . . baboon's . . . backside. "_

 _Everyone laughed, but nobody laughed harder than Luna Lovegood. She let out a scream of mirth that caused Hedwig to wake up and flap her wings indignantly and Crookshanks to leap up into the luggage rack, hissing. Luna laughed so hard her magazine slipped out of her grasp, slid down her legs, and onto the floor._

" _That was funny!"_

 _Her prominent eyes swam with tears as she gasped for breath, staring at Ron. Utterly nonplussed, he looked around at the others, who were now laughing at the expression on Ron's face and at the ludicrously prolonged laughter of Luna Lovegood, who was rocking backwards and forwards, clutching her sides._

" _Are you taking the mickey?" said Ron, frowning at her._

" _Baboon's . . . backside!" she choked, holding her ribs._

Harry grinned at her laughing _._

" _Anything good in there?" asked Ron as Harry closed the magazine._

" _Of course not," said Hermione scathingly, before Harry could answer. "The Quibbler's rubbish, everyone knows that."_

"Hermione," Harry said sharply, "Mr. Lovegood is the Editor of the Quibbler."

 _Just_ then _the compartment door opened for the third time._

Harry chose to do the same thing he had to Mr. Malfoy, "Hello Draco. How are you? I saw your father at the Ministry yesterday, he said you've been studying for the OWL's have you gotten far with the History book yet? I swear the book is more use than Professor Bins."

Draco was floored by this greeting and by Harry's apparently sincere demeanor.

"He isn't the most interesting professor, is he?" Luna asked, "Pity, I thought it would have been fun to learn from a ghost."

"The Bloody Baron would be a good story teller I'd bet," Harry replied to her.

Draco stood frozen in the doorway and Harry had to bite his cheek at the mirror of Lucius's expression he was wearing, and like his father, training kicked in.

"I'm rather good at history. It is the DADA book that is giving me trouble. I don't know what will learn in that class that might be useful for OWL's."

"I was thinking of starting a DADA club this year," Harry said. "So students can practice outside of class."

"Might be fun," Draco said, warily. "We need to go keep checking the train, me being a Prefect and all." He was starting to build up his steam again only to be thoroughly deflated by Harry's next remark.

"Yeah, congratulations, it's a big achievement. See you around."

Draco was at a loss. He could not detect the slightest bit of sarcasm from Harry's tone. He stepped back, shut the door, and walked away with Crabbe and Goyle at his heels.

Ron, Hermione, and Neville gaped at him.

"I think the Bloody Baron might be too descriptive and then we wouldn't have time to learn all the facts," Luna said, continuing the conversation.

"At least I wouldn't be tempted to doze off in class," Harry quipped.

"I like sketching in his class while I listen. I just take the notes from the book," she said, her large blue eyes staring at him unblinkingly.

"Smart," Harry said.

"Harry?" Ron questioned outraged, "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You were nice to _Malfoy_."

"Yeah, and he left us alone," Harry said.

Hermione was frowning at him, "Did you mean what you said?"

"About what?"

"About a DADA club?"

Harry shrugged, "It seems like fun and as long we don't have someone like Lockhart running it might be helpful."

They all rode in silence after that. Harry took Hedwig out of her cage and petted her as he watched the world speed by outside the train window.

Hedwig hopped onto his lap so Luna could pet her too.

 _As everybody scrambled to get their luggage and pets assembled, ready for departure. Ron and Hermione were supposed to supervise all this; they disappeared from the carriage again, leaving Harry and the others to look after Crookshanks and Pigwidgeon._

" _I'll carry that owl, if you like," said Luna to Harry, reaching out for Pigwidgeon as Neville stowed Trevor carefully in an inside pocket._

"Thank you," _said Harry, handing her the cage and hoisting Hedwig's more securely into his arms._

When they reached the carraiges Harry rested Hedwig's cage on his trunk so he could pet the nearest thestral.

 _They were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonish, and their pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither-vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats. Standing still and quiet in the gathering gloom, the creatures looked eerie and sinister. Harry_ looked into the thestrals white eye and smiled. He wondered if dying gave him a closer bound to these animals because the great head rubbed into Harry's touch and made a pleased clicking noise in its throat.

" _Where's Pig?" said Ron's voice, right behind Harry._

"Luna has _him,' said Harry_

 _Seconds later, Hermione emerged panting from the crowd. Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks. "Thanks," said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. "Come on, let's get a carriage together before they all fill up…"_

" _I haven't got Pig yet!" Ron said, but Hermione was already heading off towards the nearest unoccupied coach. Harry remained behind with Ron._

"Harry," Hermione started, "What are you petting?"

 _Luna appeared holding Pigwidgeon's cage in her arms; the tiny owl was twittering excitedly as usual._

" _Here you are," she said. "He's a sweet little owl, isn't he?"_

" _Er . . . yeah . . . he's all right," said Ron gruffly. "Well, come on then, let's get in. . . . What_ are you staring at _, Harry?'_

"Harry, seriously, what are you doing," Hermione asked.

"Just petting the carriage horse?" Harry answered.

 _Ron looked seriously alarmed now._

" _Are you feeling all right, Harry?"_

Harry smiled.

" _Shall we get in, then?" said Ron uncertainly, looking at Harry as though worried about him._

Luna came to stand with Harry, " _I can see them, too."_

"They're nicer than you think they would," Harry said, giving the thestral a soft pat on the shoulder.

"You're nicer than I thought you would be," she said. _S_ _miling faintly, she climbed into the musty interior of the carriage after Ron._ A bit unsettled _, Harry followed her._

* * *

 _Disclaimer: A lot of direct quotes from Order of the Phoenix_.

AN: Hope the flow was alright. I was rereading this book and I couldn't leave out or alter much Luna's first real appearance in the books, I did add a lot though. Let me know what you think? If you want more ;)


	5. Trouble on Purpose

AN: I am slowly writing more to Disorder of the Pheonix. My brain stalled so I switched to this to keep my mind moving. Reviewers help my creative process :D

Chapter 5

They received their time tables and Harry looked at his and slipped right into his bag. Monday was Potions, Arithmancy, and DADA and judging by Ron's groan and his memory Ron had Divinations. Harry hadn't told either Ron or Hermione that he had switched classes, he expected a fight and he expected them both to be hurt.

He sighed.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked up at the head table, Umbridge was watching all the students like a frog gaging the distance of a fly it intended to eat. "Just another miss year for DADA."

"You don't think will learn anything from her?" Hermione asked, almost glaring up at the pink toad.

"Hermione," Harry said, "you've read that book. That bit about counter curses. It would be better to just to skip her class."

"You can't skip class, Harry," she said instantly.

Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry, "You read the book?"

"I skimmed it enough to know it less informative than the Lockhart books."

"It isn't the best of books, but it has some substance," Hermione defended, as she would likely defend any published book.

Harry suddenly didn't feel like eating. He finished what was left on his place and got up to leave.

* * *

"Does Harry- does Harry seem off to you?" Ron asked Hermione whose eyes, along with many, many others watched the raven haired boy leave.

Hermione nodded, "He was different after the last task and at Grimmauld Place but the changes were not that noticeable until-"

"Until he started being polite to Malfoy."

"Maybe, it's a good thing, Ron."

"Or maybe there's something wrong with him."

Hermione frowned at her plate, her appetite too, seemed to disappear.

* * *

Harry sat in the common room reading a Potions Theory book which he was starting to realize was more like baking than anything else. You had a lot more freedom when you were cooking meals, but if you were making a cake and you left out baking soda the whole thing was ruined. It was with this mindset that Harry read the tips on the proper ways to handle plants and adding certain liquids to potions.

He would force to give Snape to give him an outstanding even if it took destroying reality to get it.

Harry took off his shoes and curled up in the armchair, leaning towards the fire. His body felt cold, he always felt cold now a days. Even in the heavy heat of summer, he couldn't get warm as if his bones were in a cooler.

He noticed in a dim sort of way that people were coming into the room. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Fred touched his shoulder.

"Harry?" Fred asked.

"You alright?" George asked.

"Yeah, you startled me is all," Harry said, closing his book, as he was just rereading it at this point anyway.

"What are you reading?" George asked.

Harry showed them the cover.

Fred laughed, "You trying to get a leg up in potions?"

"I think I want to be good at this subject just so I can spite the old bat."

George grinned, "We have a few books we can lend you that helped us."

"That would be awesome, this book is just tips on how to handle different materials."

The twins looked down at the book in unison, "Is it any good," they asked.

Harry nodded and handed it to them, "You can borrow it if you like, I have already finished it. I was just looking over a couple of the more detailed descriptions."

"Thanks, Harry," George said.

"You're a great friend," Fred said.

"What did you do, Harry?" Ron asked coming up behind them.

"So suspicious, ickle-prefect," Fred said, turning on his younger brother.

"With that tone, it makes it sound like you think we are up to something," George added with a sly smile.

"You two are always up to something," Hermione pointed out.

Harry stood, stretched, and headed up to bed while Ron and Hermione were still bickering with the twins.

* * *

Harry's dreams were strange. He stood in front of a mirror and as he stared his scar burst open, blood trailing down his face, building in his eyebrow, sliding down the side of his nose, getting in his one eye. Green eye turned to red and reflection flashed to his older self. One glowing red eye like Voldemort's and other shining emerald like his boggart mother's.

* * *

Harry lurched out of bed, panting slightly but no one else was awake. He got dressed and went down to breakfast early. The hall was mostly empty as it was barely six a.m. but among the students at breakfast, Draco Malfoy was one of them sitting alone at the Slytherin table.

Harry thought of the Sorting Hat's warning and remembered how staying divided literally brought down the school.

Screw it, Harry thought, it's not like he is a Death Eater yet. That was next year.

Harry made a beeline for the white haired Slytherin. He sat down at the table and waited for Draco to look up at him.

He did, and his pale eyes widened at Harry Potter's appearance.

"Good morning," Harry said, cheerfully.

"Good mor-" Draco had to stop himself, "Did you get hit in the head or something? This is the Slytherin table."

Harry grinned, "I was almost got sorted into Slytherin but I begged the Sorting Hat not to put me in the same house as you and the man who murdered my parents."

Draco blinked, again he was at a lost on how to handle this more amenable Potter. Draco figured it was some type of ploy to get at him so he asked, "What do you want?"

"What do you think about a DADA club? You said yourself that book was useless."

Draco felt like he was in an alternate universe, "My father said-"

"Your father doesn't work for the Ministry, and news flash Draco, but the Ministry doesn't want us learning magic that can be used against them."

"So what we get a club started and get a professor to teach an extra class?"

"No, I'll teach it. I have a feeling Umbridge isn't going to let us use magic in class," Harry said.

"And I feel like you are mental and Umbridge isn't going to like you teaching her subject outside of class," Draco shot back.

"So we do it in secret," Harry supplied, "I know a place."

"And you think you can teach me anything, that your bette-"

"I am the best student in the school for DADA. It is my subject, you, on the other hand, are the dumbarse who taunted a hippogryph after Hagrid told you they were proud creatures who never forgive insults."

Draco flushed and glared, "Get lost, Potter."

Harry shrugged, "We have DADA today, let me know when you decide you want to pass your OWL's."

He went back to the Gryffindor table, finished a piece of toast and an apple for heading down to the dungeons. He had some extra time to read the twin's potions book they had lent him.

* * *

Hermione and Ron got to class just before Snape. The class started brewing their potions. Harry and Draco were the only ones to get it perfect. Hermione's potion was probably a distant third in the class.

Harry smirked as Snape frowned down at his perfectly prepared potion.

Severus looked between Granger's potion and Potter's, Potter's was the better of the two. Which was impossible, Potter was hopeless in this subject unless Granger was cheating for him, however, Granger was far too vain to let Potter achieve a better greater grade than her. Weasley wasn't of any help, his potion was toxic. No, the only student in the class who could have achieved this was Draco, who Severus sometimes tutored in the summers. Draco and Potter would never work together, meaning Potter had somehow gotten better at potions.

Snape turned on Weasley.

* * *

"What was that?" Ron asked, spitting mad. Sure, Snape had picked on him before, but he had never been the professor's primary focus, that was either Harry or Neville.

"I am not going to fail his class," Harry said.

"Your potion was better than Hermione's," Ron said.

Hermione's mouth tightened, "I have to get to Ancient Runes."

Harry sighed.

"You knew she would react like that," Ron snapped, "I just don't understand how you could have done better than her in the first place."

"I studied over the summer."

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Because what else was I supposed to do locked up at the Dursleys, Ron? In case you're not aware you and Hermione are my only friends. How many letters did we exchange? How much did you hear from me? Did you ever stop to think what it's like to have no one to talk to other than an old cat lady across the street who only talks about her cats? The most human interaction I get is my Aunt and Uncle ordering me to do chores and make them food. So, yeah I read books and did my summer homework. Sorry to disappoint you," Harry snapped.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked as Harry turned down a different corridor.

"Arithmancy, and don't worry about telling Trelawny, she must have _seen_ it coming."

Ron stopped and watched his best friend walk alone down the hall into the mass of other students. Harry had changed and Ron wasn't sure he liked the new Harry.

* * *

The Arithmancy room was bright large windowed room. The tables were low and square and there were four pillows at each.

Harry smiled when he saw Luna who had spotted him the second he walked into the room.

"Harry," she greeted.

"Harry?" Susan asked, whipping her head around, "Hi, Harry!" she cheered.

"Hi Susan, hi Luna," Harry said, taking his seat between them.

"Thank Merlin, I am not the only one from our year who switched electives. Of course, I switched last year so I had to do the first class," Susan said.

"I covered the first years work over the summer, Flitwick graded the homework and Professor Vector sent me the tests. I got the okay to only go back the one year," Harry said.

"I got to move forward a year," the Slytherin girl with golden-blonde hair said across from Harry.

"Harry," Susan began, "this is Astoria Greengrass. Astoria this is-"

"Harry Potter, I'm aware," she said coolly.

Harry smiled, "You and your sister sound alike."

She glared at him, "How would you know? you hate Slytherins."

"No, I dislike Draco and his two shadows and sometimes Pansy and Millicent. Your sister is nice though," Harry said.

"My sister isn't nice. She's awesome but she isn't nice."

"Well by nice, I mean she isn't loud and annoying," Harry corrected himself.

"Because that isn't the exact definition of a Gryffindor?" she shot back. "You are the attention hogging Boy Who Lived."

"Hey, I never asked to be famous for surviving my parents getting murdered, I would gladly trade my fame for mother's life," Harry snapped.

"Like you can even remember her," Astoria said not letting go of her advantage.

"I remember her screaming for my life and what it looked like when Voldemort hit her with the killing curse. Trauma sticks with you."

Astoria looked away, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry," she muttered.

"My parents were killed by him too," Susan said softly.

They were all spared further discussion on the topic of dead parents as Professor Vector control of the class.

She was a stern witch and though her class seemed to be a numerical way of predicting the future, her class began to go into wards, in numerical architecture that aligned with the stars, like tombs in Egypt or mosques in the Near East. With Arithmancy numbers and patterns had power.

Hermione was right about it being a far better class than Divinations. The groups of four worked together on a circular diagram on their table. Between the four of them, they did really well.

Professor Vector gave Harry an approving nod, "You'll catch up quickly with this group and your presence evens out the class so now every table as four. Splendid."

As they were leaving class Luna said to him softly, "On the train, your shield charm…"

"It was instinct," Harry said.

"You cast it without speaking a spell," she said.

Harry missed a step.

She smiled at him, "I don't think the others noticed."

They parted ways when they got to the great hall for lunch.

* * *

"You dropped Divinations?" Hermione asked as soon as he sat down.

"Didn't Ron tell?" Harry asked pulling a few slices of apple onto his plate.

"Yeah, he said you've been studying all summer," she said.

"I didn't think you would have a problem with that," Harry said without looking at her.

"You hate studying."

Harry looked up at her then, "Like I told Ron, I hate living with the Dursleys and I had nothing better to do with my time."

She opened her mouth to protest, "Hermione, give it a rest. Can't you just be happy or proud or something other than upset I didn't tell you every aspect of my life."

She nearly bit off her tongue, "That's not fair."

"And it's not fair for you to be mad that I did better than you on one potions assignment either."

None of the three of them talked to each other through the rest of lunch.

* * *

Harry had started on his Arithmancy homework having transfigured the textbook to look like the DADA book.

Like last time Hermione raised her hand.

 _"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione, as though she had only just noticed her._

 _"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione._

 _"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge, showing her small pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."_

 _"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione._

 _Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows. "And your name is?"_

 _"Hermione Granger," said Hermione._

 _"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness._

 _"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."_

 _There was a short silence in which many members of the class turned their heads to frown at the_ three course _aims still written on the blackboard._

 _"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"_

 _"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly._

 _"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr. -?"_

 _"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air._

 _Professor Umbridge, smiling still more widely, turned her back on him. Hermione immediately raised her hand too. Professor Umbridge's pouchy eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before she addressed Hermione._

 _"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"_

 _"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts is to_ practise _defensive spells?"_

 _"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" asked Professor Umbridge, in her falsely sweet voice._

 _"No, but-"_

 _"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the "whole point" of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new programme of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way-"_

 _"What use is that?" said Harry loudly,_ he couldn't help himself. _"If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a-"_

 _"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge._

 _Professor Umbridge promptly turned away from him, but now several other people had their hands up, too._

 _"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge said to Dean._

 _"Dean Thomas."_

 _"Well, Mr. Thomas?"_

 _"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be_ risk free _."_

 _"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling in a very irritating fashion at Dean, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"_

 _"No, but-"_

 _Professor Umbridge talked over him. "I do not wish to criticise the way things have been run in this school," she said, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth, "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed-not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."_

 _"If you mean Professor Lupin," piped up Dean angrily, "he was the best we ever-"_

 _"Hand, Mr. Thomas! As I was_ saying you _have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day-"_

 _"No we haven't," Hermione said, "we just-"_

 _"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"_

 _Hermione put up her hand. Professor Umbridge turned away from her._

 _"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you."_

 _"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean hotly. "Mind you, we still learned loads."_

 _"Your hand is not up, Mr. Thomas!" trilled Professor Umbridge. "Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added, staring at Parvati, whose hand had just shot up._

 _"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"_

 _"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge dismissively._

 _"Without ever practicing them beforehand?" said Parvati incredulously. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"_

 _"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough-" Professor Umbridge looked up and met Harry's gaze._ He still loathed this woman, Lucius Malfoy was the height of morality compares to her _. "There will be no to_ try the spells before the test, the theory will suffice."

Harry had bit his cheek but he was able to keep his temper. Umbridge had made Harry's life a living hell once and he fully intended to repay the favor. He would not be able to accomplish that here and now.

Eventually, the class settled down, resigned to reading listlessly from the book.

Draco came up to Harry after class as he was walking out with Ron and Hermione.

Draco said two words before disappearing into the crowd, "I'm in."

"I know I keep asking this, but what was that?" Ron asked.

Harry grinned, "Trouble."

* * *

AN: Thank you for the reviews! For the longer reviewers, I tend to PM you so be aware of your inboxes. A warm shout out to daithi4377!


	6. Even the Slytherins

AN: I got surgery on my right arm, typing with my left hand is slow going, sorry for the small chapter.

* * *

KEYNOTE: Ancient Runes is just reading an ancient wizard language according to Pottermore though it is in symbols 'Runes' as JKR uses them are just words like ancient Egyptian, the symbols have no power themselves. JKR's Arithmancy is numerology that can predict the future. For my purposes, Arithmancy + Astrology can show the past and future in universal patterns while Arithmancy + Charms can make wards by the structure of patterns. Best examples I can give you are Islamic Mosque ceilings such as Nasir Al-Mulk Mosque, Shiraz, Iran or Shah Mosque, Isfahan, Iran which I strongly suggest you look up because they are beautiful. Students will trace out the mathematical structures and then by using charms to activate them will create wards. Math as beauty :D

* * *

Chapter 6: Even the Slytherins

"Come on, Hermione, it is a great idea," Harry implored. It was your brilliant idea, he thought.

"Alright but if we get in trouble…"

"Hermione," Harry moaned, "this is worth the trouble. Besides I am not doing this for myself, I already know everything I can teach you."

The prospect of Harry knowing more than her hit the sore spot that Harry had been digging at in basically every class excluding History of Magic. Harry thought it kinda funny that as a would be seven year, Harry was barely keeping even with Hermione. Yet he was a little sad that she was upset with him, or not so much upset as hurt. Being the best at nearly everything, especially with Ron and Harry was her identity but Harry knew she was more than that.

"We will have to find a way to communicate the time and date in secret. I did look up club rules at Hogwarts and there is nothing against this but if Umbridge gets a whiff of it-"

"She will shut us down," Harry said.

Ron had stayed quiet through the entire Friday afternoon, arms crossed and moping. "I can't believe you invited Malfoy," he muttered darkly.

Harry sighed and looked out the window, the sun was peeking out of the clouds. "Ron, are you planning to try out for Keeper now that Wood graduated?" Harry asked switching topics.

He looked cheeks tinged pink. Ron shifted, "Maybe, I mean do you think it is a good idea? I thought- you know, with the new broom I got- I just thought-"

"Want to go practice?" Harry asked.

Ron perked up then, "Yeah that would be great!" He bolted up the steps to get his broom.

Harry turned to Hermione, "We also need to ensure a way that no snitches."

Hermione nodded. "Where are we going to meet?"

"I know a place in the castle but for the first meeting I think we ought to meet in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

Hermione nodded again, "I'll get the word out. Harry, Ron has a point about the Slytherins, we can't trust them."

Harry stood and gave Hermione a sad smile, "Hermione, what reason have we given them to be trustworthy? You can't be respected if you never show respect."

"And if being the bigger person gets you expelled, then what?"

"Then you and Ron can say I told you so when I am packing up my stuff." Doing the right thing, for the greater good had gotten him killed and sent back in time, what was a little expulsion compared to that?

Ron came stomping down at a run, "Harry, I brought your Firebolt, let's go!"

Harry took his broom from him and they headed to the Quidditch pitch.

* * *

There was no more talk about the DADA club as are pelleted the qualify at Ron. Harry remembering how bad Ron's practice had gone did not hold back.

At first, Ron seemed disheartened as Harry scored goal after goal, but then Ron blocked a few then a few more it seemed to boost his confidence. They ended it on a good note.

As they walked back to the castle, the light of dusk seeping being behind the mountains rapidly, Ron asked, "So do think I have a chance at being Keeper?"

"I do, but-"

"But what?" Ron asked nervously.

"But you have to keep your cool. Once you missed one you got so upset you would miss another one," Harry explained. "You have to get a thicker skin, even Wood missed sometimes."

Ron's ears had turned bright red but he nodded, "Yeah, alright."

"We can keep practicing until tryouts," Harry consoled.

Ron gave him a small smile. They had been distant lately but Ron could always count on Quidditch to bring them back together. They were quiet for the rest of the walk back. In the common room, Harry saw Ginny and got an idea.

"Hey, Ginny!" Harry called dragging Ron across the common room.

Ginny looked up from the book she had been reading. She was seated by the fire, the firelight making her hair glow. "Hi Harry, Ron, what's up?"

"Ron is trying out for Keeper this year and since you want to be Chaser I thought it might be fun to practice together," Harry said grinning.

Both Ron and Ginny gaped at him.

"But-how- how did-" Ginny stuttered, "How did you know I wanted to be a chaser?"

Harry didn't realize his mistake until Ron said with a laugh, "Ginny doesn't play Quidditch, Harry, whatever gave you that crazy idea."

Harry saw Ginny's expression and took two quick steps back, holding up his hands, "I thought all the Weasleys but Percy played."

"Well, Ginny doesn't," Ron chuckled.

"Don't talk for me," Ginny snapped.

"Well, you don't," he said.

"Well, yes I do," she said standing, throwing her book the seat behind her. She put her hands on her hips. "I've been going out at night to the shed for years, especially when all of were at school."

Fred and George had heard most of the conversation and had sidled up to them.

"We should have known, Fred," George said.

Fred nodded sagely, "Indeed, George, oh little sister-"

"-was never-"

"-the angel."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron asked.

"Because you never included me," Ginny shot back.

"Why tell Harry?" he said, narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't!" she exclaimed.

"So how did you-"

"Know?" the twins asked.

"I guessed," Harry said, fighting hard to make it sound like a statement.

"But you said she was trying out for Chaser-"

Harry cut him off, "Chaser and Keeper are the only two options on the team currently. Sorry for starting a family feud or whatever, but I am going to bed." He turned to go up the steps.

Ginny caught his hand, "Thanks, Harry, for including me."

For a moment Harry just stared into her warm eyes, he remembered being in love her, remembered kissing her and his heart as he re-realized that she remembered none of that. That hurt. Cho had been his first crush but Ginny had been his first… and she didn't even remember. He wasn't her ex-boyfriend, he was her never-boyfriend.

He pulled his hand gently from hers, his cheeks a bit flushed, "Anytime, Ginny." He turned and all but ran up the steps. He collapsed on his bed, realizing how hard it was really going to be to keep all these secrets.

* * *

"Oooooooohhhh," Moaning Myrtle crooned as her bathroom filled with students on a cloudy Sunday morning.

Everyone from the first DADA was there along with the entire fourth and fifth year Slytherin students, with the addition of Astoria and the exclusion of Crabbe and Goyle. The Gryffindors seemed upset but neither the Hufflepuffs nor the Ravenclaws seemed that bothered, though Harry caught a few of them rolling their eyes at the posturing around the room. Unbeknownst to Ron and Hermione, Harry had cast a muffliato on the door so no one outside could hear.

"Alright," Harry began, everyone fell quiet. "I think we are all here. For the fifth and seventh years, you are here to pass your exams for everyone else I'll assume you are here to learn to defend yourselves. Mostly we are going to work on simple to more complicated spells as everyone likely has a mixed level of skills considering both our ages and our teachers over the years."

Zacharias Smith was a poop again.

Oddly, it was Draco who silenced him, "Oh would you shut up, no one forced you to be here."

Smith crossed his arms, "Who forced you to come?"

"We were invited," Astoria snarled.

"As if Potter would invite the Slytherins to anything. He hates you all."

"I don't hate them," Harry said through gritted teeth, "and I did in fact, invite them."

"Against his better judgment," Ron said under his breath.

Harry shoved him, nearly pushing him into the sink.

Harry turned back to the crowd, "Everyone deserves to learn self defense even the Slytherins."

"But why?" Smith asked.

"Because I was almost sorted into sorted into Slytherin and I would hate to be treated the way people treat them," he said.

The room was dead silent for all of ten seconds before Cho's friend said, "So you have a change of heart and we all have to go along with it? Why are they really here?"

Harry frowned, "I thought it was only Slytherins and Gryffindors that distrusted each other to extremes."

Pansy laughed, "We get along better with the other houses but we don't really fit in with the rest."

Smith spoke again, "So why be here? We all thought you hated Potter."

"We are here because it is important," Daphne Greengrass said, voice glacial. "Everyone knows he's the best at DADA. The Dark Lord, Basilisks, Dementors, dragons, merpeople, and whatever in the world he faced in the last task that caused him to walk around like he's half dead. I want to pass my exams and I am not going to die because I didn't learn the basics in school."

"She's right," Luna said, "Harry's wiser than he looks. He can teach us loads."

Millicent raised her hand.

"Millicent Bulstrode," Harry said, noting that she had grown into her androgynous features since he lasted paid her any attention at some point in the second year.

"Millie," she corrected, "And where was the Chamber of Secrets?"

Harry pointed toward the sink Ron was sitting next to. "The faucet with the snake on it. You just say open in parseltongue and the whole thing turns into a slide that drops you into the pipes. There are a ton of rat bones and that passageway is pretty rugged. This is followed by another door also -parseltongue open, then a bunch of statues of Salazar and huge dead rotting snake. Really unpleasant smell," Harry concluded.

They all stared at him.

"You should have been in Slytherin," Pansy said, eying Harry appraisingly.

He shrugged, "I killed the Basilisk with Godric's sword."

"Slytherin's monster comes out through the girl's bathroom?" Theodore Nott asked, a hint of disgust in his voice.

"That's how I died!" Moaning Myrtle gushed, swirling in the air above them.

The meeting ended after that. Harry told them to meet him on the seventh floor and Hermione ensured everyone signed their names on the list.

No one but Myrtle overheard them.

* * *

AN: Chapters will vary in length, please do not complain if a chapter is short. I am following the book pretty closely so this will be a long fic. Please share your thoughts and reactions with me?

P.S. please read KeyNotes.


	7. Nonverbal

AN: Please read KeyNotes and if you want to comment on my spelling or grammar please PM me?

Chapter 7 - Nonverbal

 _"Of course, a lot can happen between now and the exam, we've got plenty of time to improve, but the grades we're getting now are a sort of baseline, aren't they? Something we can build on . . . "_

 _They sat down together at the Gryffindor table._

 _"Obviously, I'd have been thrilled if I'd got an 'O'-"_

 _"Hermione," said Ron sharply, "if you want to know what grades we got, ask."_

 _"I don't-I didn't mean-well, if you want to tell me-"_

 _"I got a 'P'," said Ron, ladling soup into his bowl. "Happy?"_

"What did you get, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"You don't want to know," Harry said, though he was just barely done it. He was still holding the essay in his hands. He didn't dare look up to the head table, he would not have been able to swallow his smugness.

"Oh it can't be worse than, Ron's," George said.

Fred came around him and snatched Harry's essay out from under the table. He whistled.

"What is it?" Ron asked, "No way he got a T. Harry's been doing so much better in potions."

"Better?" Fred chocked.

George laughed.

"What does T stand for?" Hermione asked.

"Troll," Ron said.

"Oh come on, just show us, it can't be a T. Harry really has been doing well in potions," she said positively.

Fred laughed then, tipping down the parchment so all could see, the small, spindly, tiny 'O' in red ink.

"I'd say Potter's doing a far shot higher than 'well'," Fred said.

"I don't think I've seen anyone outside of a Slytherin or Ravenclaw get an 'O' in anything in his class," George said.

Hermione's face was pained when she said, "Good job, Harry, really, you did great."

" _How?"_ Ron asked.

"What did you think I was doing all weekend?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, all the other homework we had?" Ron suggested.

"I finished that with Hermione when you were out practicing Quidditch with Ginny."

"Who are you and what have you done with my Potter?" he asked only half joking.

"I think he died," Harry said in a joking tone, though he wasn't joking at all.

* * *

Something was wrong with Severus's classes. Vastly wrong with his classes. It started with his fifth year class. Potter's abnormally superior brewing skills had continued as they had in the last two weeks -proving to be more than a fluke, but that wasn't the wrongness of the class. His class was quiet in a -dare he think it, peaceful way. Tensions between the Slytherins and Gryffindors were at an all time low. Experimental, Severus decided to hold back on his critics unless someone -Longbottom, was about to put something explosive into their cauldrons. It was one of the most productful, easiest classes to teach.

The same trend would follow throughout the week in his fourth and seventh years as well. The first years to third years as well as the sixth years were still abhorrent amongst the Gryffindors and Slytherins. The Hufflepuffs still cowered and the Ravenclaws were their usual split between studious or twittering.

Ms. Lovegood's skills were remarkably precise as ever.

* * *

Severus wasn't the only one to notice the change. The other Heads of House were beginning to whisper. It wasn't so much that the Gryffindors and the Slytherins were getting along so much as they seemed to have called a truce. The younger years seemed to be taking their lead. The problem all the professors seemed to share was that it felt less like a resolution and more like the calm before the storm.

* * *

Filius called Harry to stay after class on Thursday.

"How have you been, Harry?" he asked.

Harry sat on the table next to Filius's podium. "I've been fine though I feel like I keep making little slips all over the place."

"Like what?"

"Well, I used wandless magic on the train and just last week I let on that I know Ginny is a chaser, which none of her brothers, not even Ron knew," Harry said, kicking his legs in the air.

"So you still haven't told your friends," Filius stated.

Harry shrugged, "Even if I told them what would it really change? They wouldn't spontaneously be the Ron and Hermione from my future. Oh hey, Ron, you should know that you deserted us when we went camping, and oh Hermione you were tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange. Also, we robbed Gringotts and rode on a blind dragon together. It was awesome. Then we went back to Hogwarts and we were part of a slaughter."

Filius listened, letting Harry voice the poison festering in his veins. The boy may be eighteen in reality but he was still so young for the trauma he had witnessed and been a part of.

"I don't know what I am doing," Harry said finally.

"Did you know the first time?" Filius asked.

Harry laughed. Smiling, he admitted, "No, in fact, I think I was even angier last time. I treated my friends like crap." His smile faded, "Guess things haven't changed all that much."

"Speaking of change, you wouldn't happen to be involved in the new… peace… between Gryffindor and Slytherin houses would you?"

Harry grinned, "I may have started a club."

Filius hid a smile, "What kind of club?"

"A DADA club where we use magic. I did it the last time too. Except without the Slytherins. I figured this time I would be more inclusive."

"Good," Filius said, "Whatever fault the Slytherins may have, keeping secrets is typically one of their talents if you treat them fairly."

"Ron and Hermione say we shouldn't trust their sense of honor."

Filius shrugged, "If you never give them a chance than you will never know."

"That's what I told them."

"Harry, may I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"I still think you should open up a bit more to Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley, however, you should not limit yourself to just two friends. You may find that there are others in this school who are as welcoming of your company and perhaps more mature that may help you feel more connected to this timeline," Filius advised.

Harry thought about opening up to Draco and scrunched his nose.

Filius laughed, "I am not suggesting you go around at random and share your circumstances but there are those you can spend time with whom you could spend agreeable time with."

Harry nodded, "I'll keep an eye out for agreeable people. The DADA should help. Although, my Arithmancy class has been kinda fun. Luna, Susan, and Astoria are pretty fun to be around."

"Perhaps you should offer that the four of you study together outside of class."

"Yeah, and I see them at the DADA club too, so yeah, that sounds good," Harry said. Thinking that the three girls treated him more normally than anyone else outside of the Weasleys and Hermione had in either timeline.

"Harry, what would you have wanted to be had you graduated Hogwarts?" Filius asked, switching topics.

"I wanted to be an Auror."

"Do you still want to be an Auror?"

Harry frowned, "I don't know. I haven't thought much about the future to be honest, not outside Hogwarts. Choosing to die sort of felt like the end all be all choice."

Filius's heart clenched, "What else do you enjoy doing?"

Harry thought for a moment, "Teaching, I really like teaching. But I suppose getting a job at Hogwarts is sort of a limited opportunity."

"Not if you're applying to the DADA position," Filius remarked.

"Yeah but that is only for a year unless I manage to kill Voldy completely."

"So it really is cursed?"

"Yeah, Tom Riddle came back to Hogwarts and offered to teach it but Dumbledore turned him down and demanded he leave the school grounds. This is before he started openly attacking Britain. I think his eyes were red though."

"How did you see that?" Filius asked.

"Dumbledore showed me in his pensive."

Filius sighed, rubbing his nose.

"Lunch period is almost over, Professor," Harry commented looking at his watch.

Filius held up a finger and hopped off his stack of books. He pulled out one towards the bottom. He handed the book to Harry. "Sixth and seventh years can apply for a teaching assistant position. Start going over this book and make lesson plan outlines. Next year, if you like, you can be my assistant. Mostly, I will use you for in class examples and you will help me grade homework. But if you want a career as a teacher it will help. You might have to do a few years as a private tutor but if becoming a professor is what you want there is no reason you can't accomplish that."

"Thank you," Harry said, smiling.

"Keep me updated on your club," Filius said, smiling back.

"I will, bye Professor, have a good day."

"You too, Harry."

When he was gone Filius sighed and his thoughts swirled in worry for the Boy Who Lived.

* * *

Minerva was watching Harry closely. She could have sworn he did the last transfiguration spell wordlessly but she was not sure as she had been on the other side of the room. Harry was officially ahead of the rest of the class with or without the factor of wordless magic. He was no prodigigy so much as it seemed like he had learned these spells previously.

His essays were much improved as well, showing not just a reiteration of the text or class notes but actively engaging with the theory. Harry's essays were blessedly shorter compared to that of Hermione's small scripted lengthy papers. An unforseen effect of Harry doing well in class and on homework was he was engaging more the other students. Students would ask him for assistance before asking herself or Hermione. Minerva had never seen Harry so open with others and the other students seemed to be advancing further by taking his lead.

"Mr. Potter," Minerva called.

"Yes, Professor," he said, looking at her questioningly.

"Come to the front of the class please."

Harry got up with a lack of nervousness that made her realize how much change he had gone through over the last year. She placed a rat on her desk, "Vanish it."

Harry frowned at her.

"Silently," she said.

The class was rivitated.

Harry opened his mouth to ask, but she cut him off.

"Say the word in your mind and visualize what you want done."

His focus went to the rat, his eyes narrowing. He raised his wand and with a single flick the rat was gone.

The students were opened mouthed, Hermione's eyes were so wide one could see the white all the way around her irises.

"Fifty points to Gryffindor," Minerva said, cooly.

The Ravenclaws looked at each other, doubtful that any of them were ready to try that.

"Now I don't want anyone to be discouraged. Nonverbal spell work is a measure of focus and mental discipline. Determination is not exactly enough so much as a settled mind. Typically, it is in the sixth year when we encourage or demand that students practice nonverbal spells," Minerva said, "If you feel that you have mastered a spell or wish to challenge yourselves you may try. As Mr. Potter so politely showed us, it is possible even for younger students."

Harry kept his face even as guilt swept over him, he wasn't exactly young. He was afraid to meet Hermione's gaze.

One of the Ravenclaws raised his hand addressing his question to Professor McGonagall, "How was Potter able to do that on just one try?"

"As I have heard, Mr. Potter was able to throw off the Imperius Curse on his first attempt. While he may be an outstanding example it does not mean any of you are incapable of reaching similar heights," she said.

When Harry was able to sit back down at his table neither Ron nor Hermione would talk to him.

It was Neville who leaned over to ask, "How did you do that?"

Harry shrugged, "Practice."

Neville frowned, "Why have you been practicing nonverbal spells?"

Harry thought of the months on the run, hiding, cowering. "I thought it might come in handy." It had saved his life more than once.

* * *

Harry stayed after class to talk with Professor McGonagall. Neither Hermione nor Ron waited for him.

"I wish you hadn't asked me to do that," Harry said when the last student had left.

Minerva straightened her papers before giving him a shrewd. "You could have held back, Merlin knows, you have before."

"That's not true, I have always tried," Harry said indignantly.

"Potter, the only magic you have ever put your full focus into before this summer were those spells you felt it necessary to survive with. Defending your life or others' has been your only magical interest -aside from flying, since arriving at this school."

"That's not fair."

"It certainly isn't, not to yourself or to your professors. I will be expecting far more from here on out and as your Head of House, I will insist that your other professors do the same," McGonagall said.

Harry skin drained of color thinking of what Snape would do with that. He hadn't even started Occlumency classes with him yet.

"Harry, I know it may sound daunting now, but in the long run, it will only be for your benefit. _You could be great, you know_."

Harry laughed, "I don't know why that keeps coming up."

She smiled at the pureness of his laugh. "What keeps coming up?"

"That is exactly what the Sorting Hat said when it wanted to sort me into Slytherin."

McGonagall's eyes widened, "Do you regret your sorting into this house?"

Harry laughed again, "No, of course I don't, Snape would have had me expelled in the first month."

She smiled slightly, "Well, all the same, I am proud to have you in my house and Snape would have been lucky."

"Or retired."

She laughed.

"Professor, I was wondering if I could request a favor?" Harry asked.

She raised a brow.

"Are you going back to Headquarters at any point soon?"

She nodded, "Likely this weekend, why?"

Harry pulled a small bundle of letters out of his bag. "I was wondering if you could give these to Padfoot. I am afraid to send Hedwig."

Minerva took the letters, "Wise. The Ministry has its eye on us."

"Umbridge shouldn't be around people, much less children," Harry said bitterly.

Minerva's lips tightened. "Yes, well, there was no else available."

"Canceling the class would have been better."

"It is a core subject, Mr. Potter."

"Maybe Dumbledore should hire William Weasley to have a look at the school. He is a curse breaker after all," Harry said.

Minerva tilted her head, like a cat trying to get a better look at a shiny object, "Not a bad thought, Mr. Potter. But it is fast approaching dinner and I have noticed you skipping one too many meals of late. Though I am pleased you have been feeding your mind, your body is just as important."

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said, leaving the Witch to think of an excuse to get Bill Weasley and his friends on the grounds without the Ministry or Dolorus throwing a fit. Though perhaps she should let the curse be for one more year.

* * *

"So this whole nonverbal thing wasn't supposed to extend to my two best friends," Harry commented at dinner.

"Says the guy keeping secrets," Ron broke.

 _He has no idea,_ Harry thought, aloud he said, "We don't always have to be attached at the hip."

"I am not helping you with your homework anymore," Hermione said.

"Alright," Harry said, "At least you're talking to me again."

"You made it look so easy," she said.

"It isn't!" Harry exclaimed, "It took me forever to figure out how to do it."

"By 'forever' you mean a year ahead of everyone else," she seethed.

Harry throw his hands up, "What do you want from me, Hermione!? I thought you wanted me to do well, I thought you wanted me to try harder at school work."

"I did," she said, "but-"

"But only if you can stay being the best, is that it?"

"No, Harry, wait-I-"

"The thing is Hermione, even if I end being good at things or seemly better that doesn't mean you aren't smart, it doesn't mean you aren't the brightest witch of your age. Someone else's success or failure doesn't define you," Harry said, standing. He felt his stomach rumble and he remembered McGonagall's warning. He really hadn't been eating much lately.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked as Harry seemly walked in the direction of the Slytherins.

"I am going to go sit with Luna, at least she doesn't look at me like I'm a freak," he said.

"Because she is one," Ron shot at him. He paled when he saw the anger -no the rage, on Harry's face.

Without another word, Harry turned his back on Ron and Hermione sitting next to Luna Lovegood.

"Hi, Harry," Cho greeted warmly, ignoring the stunned Gryffindors behind him.

"You can sit with us whenever you like, Potter," Terry Boot said, "We don't mind excellence."

Luna placed a buttered roll on the plate that had appeared before him.

"Thanks," Harry said, taking a bite of the much needed sustenance.

Luna patted the top of his head.

* * *

KEYNOTE: My interpretation of arithmancy is non canon. I put a lot of thought into how that branch of magic will work.

AN: I believe Hermione is a badass and I love her. But she does have flaws. She is being more emotional than thinking at the moment, feeling like she's losing her best friend, inadvertently pushing him further away. She will come around. At the moment I a want a realistic reaction to dramatic changes rather than to bash anyone aside from Umbitch. I may literally bash her head in by the end of this fic. Hope you enjoyed and thank you reviewers! Please let me know your thoughts as you read?


	8. Dumbledore's Pet

AN: When I said I would be following the book I meant pacing, basic themes, and some quotes. I quoted heavily in the beginning, A) because I love quotes and B) to show how much of the story hasn't changed despite Cedric being alive and Voldemort not being back. I believe, as I believe for all dictators, that there are flaws in the society that allow them to have power, therefore the _idea_ of Voldemort being back is enough to make waves.

However, Voldy, Death Eaters, and the Prophecy are not the focus of this fanfic. Umbridge, guardians, societal values, and the students across houses getting along will be the plot and point of this story. Growing up with dyslexia I had a special education teacher that was a slightly more humane version of Umbridge because she never hurt me physically. UmB*** will be around to until the end of the story so the students can drive her mad ;)

In book five Harry is angry and distant with Ron and Hermione, I thought that was an interesting concept whenever I read the book so I kept it, though Harry's reasons are now different.

* * *

Chapter 8 Dumbledore's Pet

 _Something has changed at Hogwarts, somewhere between the cold stones and shifting stairs. Yet nothing is truly different._

 _It's as if the world has drawn her breath and held it._

 _Before returning here this year I have felt like I've been trapped in our old house, standing in the doorway with the little purple flowers in my hand which I had painstakingly gathered for my mum, and there she stands at her cauldron, golden haired and thoroughly unaware of her surroundings as she is about to pour the white powder into her potion. It seems I've been in this moment forever, in that moment where all terrible things are inevitable, when I'm about to be blown back and she's about to be blown away, the purple flowers lost in the smoke._

 _Somehow the inevitable at Hogwarts has been rewritten. Nothing has changed but the possibility of change. All signs point to Harry, whether he is the cause or the product._

 _When I look at him, the light around him bends as if he doesn't belong here or doesn't quite fit, but I know that he does even if the rest hasn't caught up yet. When he looks at me, the flowers are still in their fields and there is no smoke to be lost in._

 _I hope Harry will be my friend. Ginny is the only one I have and I think she is just pretending, to be nice and because we are neighbors. To be fair, Harry is pretending too. He's breathed in his own smoke and he's pretending it doesn't hurt._

 _Luna Lovegood's Dairy 21st of September 1995_

* * *

"He finally cracked," Draco said as they all watched Harry paced before a bare wall on the seventh floor.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron said even as he was thinking the same.

On Harry's third rotation of pacing and muttering "I need a room for us to practice in," The wall rippled and a pair of wooden doors appeared in an elegantly carved archway.

"The Room of the Requirement," Hermione breathed, "I read about this in a _Hogwarts, a History_."

Harry pushed those double doors open, revealing a large hall. "Everyone in," he ordered.

"Didn't Dumbledore use this as a bathroom once?" George asked.

"We used it as a broom closet once," Fred replied.

"How did you find this place?" Hermione asked.

"Dobby," Harry said as he scanned the faces entering the room, doing a mental count.

"My ex-house elf?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. The doors shut behind the last to enter and Harry clapped twice to get everyone's attention. "Alright, so like I said at last week's meeting we will be starting with the basics before getting into more complicated spells."

Hermione raised her hand.

Harry sighed, things had been tense between them but they seemed okay for the moment, "Yes, Hermione?"

"I think we need a name," she said.

Harry thought, _anything but Dumbledore's Army._

"I think we should be called Dumbledore's Army, DA for short," she finished.

A few murmured agreements from the group, a few of the Gryffindors cheered, and the entire Slytherin fraction remained absolutely silent.

"Maybe we should go with something the majority of us like," Harry suggested.

"The majority of us do like it, aside from the Slytherins," Finch-Fletchley sneered.

Harry sighed, of course, this wasn't going to be easy. "How about Owl Studies? That way if someone says the whole of it people will either think we are studying for our OWL's which the majority of us are or we can say we are literally studying owls."

"Hedwig can be our mascot," Susan threw in with a smile, "She's such a pretty bird."

"But that isn't cool," Ron said, "Dumbledore's Army is cool. Hermione was saying as we were coming in that is what Fudge is most afraid of."

"Then it would be stupid to name our group something that calls attention to us," Blaise Zabini said.

"Besides not everyone likes Albus Dumbledore," Astoria said, crossing her arms.

"Harry likes Dumbledore," Ron shot back. He looked towards Harry and was dismayed by Harry's pinched expression. "Don't you, Harry?"

"Er, well I like Hedwig more than the Headmaster," Harry hedged.

"How can you say that?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Harry said, "maybe because Hedwig is actually my friend."

"Harry," Hermione chided, "the Headmaster is our friend."

"Being someone's pet-golden-boy does not make him my friend nor does it mean I have to like him," he snapped.

Some of the group exchanged looks. Blaise cursed and handed Daphne four galleons for losing a bet.

"Bird Club it is then," Theodore interjected. "Can you quit wasting my time now?"

Harry had never liked a Slytherin classmate more, with an air of relief he began the lesson. He drew his wand, "The Disarming Spell is one of the simplest and most useful spells in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Without their wand an opposing witch or wizard has-"

Finch-Fletchley had opened his mouth and Harry pointed his wand at him. "You don't like what I'm teaching then get gone, I am not forcing anyone to be here."

There was a brief silence. No one, not even Finch-Fletchley made for the exit.

"Right then, as I was saying a witch or wizard has limited options. This spell also works on opponents with weapons, such as knives, swords, axes, shovels, quills- basically, anything someone is holding is fair game. Here are the motions and the pronunciation." He showed them, disarming a dummy that appeared on the far side of the room. "Try focusing on your aim and for those who feel really comfortable with it can try practicing the spell silently." Harry had no idea what the three seventh year Slytherins were capable of, he was just glad that none of them was on the Slytherin Quidditch team.

As in the past, the first ten minutes was a mess. Though they did have an even number of people, excluding Harry, so that Neville was paired with Hannah Abbott. Harry was very glad that he had wrote a note to Flitwick over the summer about Neville needing a new wand because the pair was evenly matched now, maybe Neville was even a bit stronger.

Harry didn't stop the group, he walked through the pairs making suggestions as he went. The Slytherins were about even with the rest of the class though the pruebloods had an obvious leg up with their Latin and body formation, their aim however-

Harry used a shield charm to stop an over charged spell from knocking Cho Chang upside the head.

"Judge how much power you need to take a wand out of someone's hand," Harry raised his voice for all to hear rather than pointing out the individual, who in this case had been Astoria Greengrass. "The more power you push into this spell the better your aim needs to be as a lower charged Disarming Spell isn't forced to go in a straight line."

Two hours later everyone had gotten the spell, the seventh years all having managed to get done silently, including the twins.

"That was good-" Harry said calling their meeting to close-

"Wait," A seventh year Slytherin boy called, "I want to see you perform the spell against someone."

"What's your name?" Harry asked.

"Maximillion Ulysses," he said.

Harry waved him forward, "Well you just volunteered so step forward, someone give us a countdown."

Luna stepped out of the bystanders and counted, "Three… … two… …" She seemed to get distracted by something floating over their heads.

Hermione made a harsh impatient sound in the back of her throat, "Three, two, one, go!"

Maximillion's wand was flying in the air before the seventh year could twitch his wrist, Harry caught the wand and tossed it back.

Maximillion grinned, "You can call me Max, Potter."

Harry smiled back, "Well, that's the Disarming Charm, let me know what days everyone has Quidditch practice and if times don't line up we can do two half classes early in the mornings before breakfast."

People left smiling and chatting.

"Wait so is this the OS, Owl Studies or BC, Bird Club?" someone asked as they moved out of the room in groups of fours.

Harry was surreptitiously checking the map as they left. It was a Saturday and they were all well within curfew.

"I think it should be OSC, Owl Studies Club," another person said as they left.

"Harry?" a soft voice said from behind him.

He turned to see Cho looking at her feet. "Did you need something?" he asked.

"Um, no, I was- that is, I just wanted to say- you're a great teacher," she stuttered.

"Thanks," Harry said, laughing internally. He would be doing cartwheels if he was really fifteen. Now? It was just amusing not to be the flustered one.

"Well, I'll just-" her voice cracked and her face turned bright pink. "See you around," she finished in a squeak.

Harry was smiling as he tried not to chuckle at his first crush antics. It was funnier now that Cedric wasn't dead.

Hermione approached him, eyes narrowed, "I thought you liked her?"

"I did," Harry said, eyes checking the room to see who was lingering. Susan, Astoria, Luna, Ron, and Hermione were the only ones left.

"But not anymore?" Hermione questioned.

"Not anymore," Harry agreed, stepping around her to talk with his other classmates.

"You got over her quick," she said.

"I didn't really know her, it wasn't that hard to get over her," Harry said, just out of earshot of the others.

Ron and Hermione left together after that.

"Hi," Harry greeted.

"You are a good teacher," Astoria said almost grudgingly.

Susan smiled, "It was a lot of fun!"

"B.B.C.E." Luna said.

"What?" Harry asked, tilting his head a bit.

Luna smiled brilliantly at him, "Best Bird Club Ever."

* * *

Harry smiled warmly at Snape who had to bite back a snarl. Harry had been assigned the tempmental potion that typically took at least two people to accomplish on his own. Ron and Hermione had joined Neville, Hermione ensuring that their cauldron didn't blow up, Neville ensuring that they would barely scrape a passing grade for the day much to Hermione's annoyance.

Harry's potion, however, was flawless.

"Bring up your flasks and clean up," Snape hissed. "Potter, stay behind."

The class seeing the man's obvious frustration hurried to get done and out of the room.

"Tell me, Potter," Snape began, teeth clenched, "How does someone as abomismal as you at potions advance so quickly."

"I read some extra books and paid attention while I brewed. I gave up truly trying in this class when you punished me on the first day both for taking notes, that I was in fact taking, and for not reading the books that my Aunt and Uncle had locked away all summer," Harry said evenly.

"You must have practiced brewing outside of class," Snape said, by passing the criticism.

He had, but Harry was going to admit to being three years older to Snape. "It's like baking."

Snape raised a brow, "And how long have you been baking?"

"I have been cooking and baking, since I four."

Snape's eyes narrowed, "Four is too young to reach the stove."

"Aunt Petunia gave me a stool."

"Somehow I doubt you were a genius adolescent. Did your Aunt and Uncle eat the food you made?"

Harry shrugged, "I was making meals at four, I mostly boiled water and stirred."

"I wouldn't have trusted you in a kitchen."

"I learned quick to carry heavy pots with both hands."

"Were you ever hurt?"

Harry shrugged, "Burns heal."

Snape shook his head, "I still can't image you were any good a making food that young."

"It was either get good or dodge frying pans."

Snape stared into Harry's emerald green eyes and Harry looked away first knowing and fearing this game.

"I believe it is time we start you Occlumency lessons. I'll see you Friday night," Snape entoned.

"What am I supposed to tell people? It's not like I need remedial potions," Harry said sweetly.

"You'll tell them you have detention for talking back to your professor," Severus said, glaring at the spawn of James Potter as Harry left with a laugh and skipped out of the door.

Harry's false cheer ended the moment the potions room's door shut behind him. He needed to learn to protect his mind before Snape got a shot at him. The man might be trying to keep him in alive but he was too deep in Dumbledore's pocket. Harry didn't hate the Headmaster, but Harry wasn't going to be strangled by his own leash this time.

* * *

Harry should have been in Arithmancy right now, yet at the moment he was sitting in Albus Dumbledore's office wondering if the man could perform Legitimacy through stone floors.

"Harry, my boy," Albus said jovilly, "Lemon Drop?"

"No, thanks," Harry said.

Albus's eyes twinkled, and Harry looked to Fawkes to avoid eye contact. Fawkes sang a few notes at him in greeting.

Harry couldn't help smiling a bit in response.

"Harry do you know why you're here?"

"No," he answered honestly.

"Minerva asked at lasts week's staff meeting if every teacher would challenge you a bit more in your classes, she seems to feel you are more advanced the rest of your classmates."

Harry frowned, "I am not doing much better than Hermione."

"Minerva thinks you have barely begun to scratch your potential."

Harry didn't know what to say to that.

"I disagree with her."

Harry frowned and hated himself for feeling hurt that Dumbledore didn't think better of him. _Why did it still matter to me what this man thought?_

He didn't have an answer for that either.

"I don't think you should be given extra work. As it is you seem to be distancing yourself from Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore continued.

"We haven't-" Harry started. "They haven't liked me doing better in class. Ron hates that I have been studying so much."

"Perhaps you _are_ studying too much, Harry," Dumbledore said kindly. "You deserve to have a childhood."

Rage, hot, blinding rage filled his gut, his veins, heat rushed up his face and Harry closed his eyes as the fury tingled along his scalp. _Childhood? What childhood?_ His tongue felt heavy. The injustice of this man, _this man_ telling him he deserved a childhood after what Harry had suffered, after watching Sirius die, after Albus dying, after walking to his own death, to speak of a childhood- He didn't know if he wanted to cry or throttle the old coot.

Finally, Harry said in a quiet voice, "You want me to hold back, you want me not to fight?" _T_ _o not put up a fight as I let Tom Riddle kill me._

"No, I want you to spend time with your friends. Our friends are our greatest gift in this life," Dumbledore said.

"Well maybe I want better friends," Harry said venomously. He wasn't that mad at Ron and Hermione, well maybe he was mad at the way both of them had been treating Luna but Harry understood that his changes had been unnerving for them. Him time traveling wasn't their fault and he had planned to be patient with them and wait for them to grow up some before pouring the truth down their throats. But of course, Dumbledore didn't know that.

Dumbledore frowned, "Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley have been extremely loyal to you over the years."

Harry crossed his arms, he was eighteen but turn it all he was in a fifteen years old's body, immature teenage coming right up. He sunk a little in his seat. "I don't want to talk about this," he sulked.

"My boy, who else are you going to talk with?"

Harry felt a stab in his heart, he had been so isolated growing up at Hogwarts, without Hermione and Ron he had no one. He had Sirius, briefly, but Harry had been so worried about him that Harry had never really depended on his godfather. Although Sirius was alive now and a free man or not Harry had opened up to him and Harry had opened up to Flitwick almost completely.

"I have Sirius," Harry said, the hunching in of his shoulders was not pretend.

"Talking with Sirius-"

"You know instead of lecturing me about my study habits, you could be trying to get my godfather free," Harry muttered.

"My boy, it isn't that easy-"

"It never is."

"Harry, in my long years, I have often found the world appears very small. Either from living only in our own perspective or because the patterns of history so often repeat and the world is so very connected that the answers we find seem obvious. It becomes hard once we found an answer to remember the journey in which that answer was unknown to us. You may feel that you have in some way outgrown your friends but I would urge you not to cut them out of your life. True friendship is hard to come by and no matter how different you may feel from those around you, know that they are as human as you and have struggled to find their own answers."

 _An answer? What answer?_ Harry thought, closing his eyes. He had no answer. He had died, died for his friends, and the people at this school. Died because he had trusted and loved Albus Dumbledore like some domesticated pet. But he had no answers, no answers at all. He didn't know if his death had succeeded in laying waste to Voldemort, if anyone had killed Nagini, if his death had meant or lead to anything except the victory of the Dark Lord. Harry didn't know if there even was a future. By going back in time, had he erased the future he had come from? What had he died for? Why had he time traveled? Was this reality real at all?

"Harry, what happened in the graveyard?" Albus asked.

"Wormtail got away," Harry said hollowly. "So did Voldemort."

"You were gone for a long time."

 _He has no idea_ , Harry thought. He looked out the window. So much had happened in the next three years, so much could happen.

"It took a while," Harry answered, eyes focused on the grey clouds. Darker clouds were building. It was likely to rain soon.

"A while for what?" Albus coaxed.

"To gather my bearings."

Albus nodded and motioned to the door, "You can get going to your next class, I shalt keep any longer, but I want you to know I will always be here for you, Harry."

Harry's throat dried up, his mind spinning; _liar, liar, LIAR!_

As Harry stood he realized something, realized why he didn't just tell Dumbledore the truth, the future as it had stood. Because if he told the Headmaster then he would have to confront the old wizard on how he could groom him for death. Because deep down Harry knew Dumbledore loved him and Harry knew that asking that question would hurt Albus. And if didn't, if Albus didn't love him back then Harry didn't want to know. So like a well trained dog, Harry kept quiet and didn't bite the hand that had brought him up.

* * *

AN: Reactions and thoughts, please?


	9. Always

AN: 'Brought up' as in the man who decided Harry's fate, with the Dursleys and most of the dangerous crap he got into. There are other fics that bash Albus, they are easily found. Whether Albus loves Harry is moot, Harry loved Albus or at least that's what I got from the sixth book. Also, I am going to draw from both movies and books.

Chapter 9 - Always

 _My stripey socks are gone. I put them to the left of the matches and I remember folding them into a bow._

 _Perhaps Wrackspurts are responsible. Maybe that is why I have a false memory of bowed stripey socks. Father says they are invisible creatures that distract the mind._

 _B.B.C.E. club was fun. Harry seems to have taught before. His friends don't see him. Hedwig came to the second meeting on Woden's night. Hedwig sees everything._

 _Harry has settled on calling the club Owl Studies, OS officially, though the Slytherins still call it B.C. and when Harry talks about it in Arithmancy he calls it BBCE. He also asked if our group could have a study night for Arithmancy._

 _This is the best month of Hogwarts ever._

 _24th of September 1995_

 _Luna Lovegood's Diary_

* * *

Harry was pretty much panicked about his Occlumency class. He had been 'clearing his mind' before sleep each night and though he could sort of imagine he had mental shields he was not prepared for Snape to attack his mind.

As he trekked down to the dungeons he cursed himself for not going to Flitwick for help, old habits die hard. Apparently, not even the killing curse could kick the habit of not asking for help.

Harry took a deep breath before knocking on Snape's door. Harry's only strategy was to throw memories of his childhood at Snape. If the bat wanted to have his memories he could have the Dursleys, the rest Snape would have to fight for. It was a flawed plan, but it was a plan.

Snape answered the door, standing back to let him in. Harry flinched at the sight of the pensive. Not long ago Harry had an in depth look into Snape's mind, the memory of the man sobbing and holding his mother's dead body still made his gut clench. It was an odd feeling, sharing one of his greatest sorrows with one of his least liked people.

Harry felt bad about the thought but Snape had been easier to admire when he was dead.

Snape said the same speel he had said the last time and pointed his wand at Harry. His heart kicked into high gear and Harry couldn't stop himself raising his own wand in defense. As easily as he had disarmed Maximillion, Snape's wand shot across the room.

"This is not a dueling class, Potter," Snape growled, but his onyx eyes were wide with surprise. Harry had been faster than he had expected and hearing stories that the boy could do nonverbal casting was not the same thing as witnessing it. Harry's breathing was abnormally heavy. Snape retrieved his wand. "Again, Potter. The Dark Lord can perform this spell without a wand."

Harry had barely regained control of his breathing, he braced for impact and he was suddenly back in the Forbidden Forest.

 _Red eyes, Green light._

 _White, white mist._

 _Albus was standing across from him in a misty King's Cross._

"' _Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'"_

 _Pain._

 _More white mist._

 _Harry was very small, sitting on a familiar couch in the Potter House at Godric's Hollow, his parents were with him, smiling sadly. "Live, son, please live," James said, touching a gentle hand to Harry's cheek._

" _We love you, we will always love you," Lily said, silver tears trailing down her pale face._

 _Pain._

Harry was back in Snape's office, only he was on the floor now and he was crying.

"Potter…" Snape started reaching out to him.

Harry crab walked backwards until he hit a wall of cabinets. He curled in on himself. Dying, death, life, living, pain, what was the difference?

He was going to throw up if he didn't get ahold of himself soon. Those were memories that he had not even known he had. Is that what had happened to him when he died? He had forgotten how much it had hurt when he came back to life. The phantom pain in his scar made him want to claw at his face.

"Potter," Snape was at his side, kneeling on the floor holding out a goblet, "Drink this."

Harry glared at the bastard, "I wasn't meant to remember that. I didn't _want_ to remember that." Too close, what would have happened if he had tipped the other way? Would he be home with his parents now? Had he died as one year old too?

He was going to be sick.

"Drink this," Snape persisted.

Harry snatched the cup and downed it before shoving it back at Snape. Harry was angry now, angry that he had lost control over himself in front of this man. Harry wiped viciously at the tear tracks under his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. He had to adjust his glasses as he had nearly knocked them of his own face.

The potion had begun to show its effects, Harry let his head fall back with a dull thump on the shelf behind him, his shoulders slumping. Calming Potion, which was a blessing and curse because, on the one hand, he wasn't throwing up, on the other hand, he could clearly think about the concept of dying. Twice. He had died twice, literally died twice.

* * *

Severus had no idea what to think about what he had just seen. The Dark Lord's red eyes, followed by green light. That's what had happened to the boy that night. Albus talking to him at King's Cross was odd, James Potter and Lily, beautiful, beautiful Lily talking to their small orphaned child was not.

Guilt was drowning him. Hating James's son had been so easy they looked so alike, hating him was easy, simple. Facing the fact that it was Severus's fault that Lily was dead had tormented him for years. But looking at her son, pale and sweaty on his office floor Severus couldn't hide from the fact that this too was his fault. His fault a child had been struck by the Dark Lord's killing curse, his fault that Harry Potter, Lily Evan's only son was an orphan.

He met the tempest in those emerald green eyes and would have given anything and everything to go back in time and take their place. Severus should have been the one to die for his own mistakes, not this family. He had hated James but nothing that man had ever done had earned him his fate.

Severus sat on the ground with James Potter's son, waited for Harry to regain himself after having to relive the experience of being murdered.

 _I will always love you_.

Severus felt like the evil git that Harry had come to view him as.

Eventually, Harry stood. His wand fisted in his right hand, "May I go, _Sir?"_

Severus did not stand, his voice was low but absent of malice. "Yes, we can try again next week."

Harry took quick, jerky steps to the door but froze before opening it. He didn't turn to face Severus when he asked, "Are you going to tell Dumbledore? Are you going to tell him what you saw?"

"No," Severus said truthfully, "I swear to you, I will not tell Albus what I saw or heard." _Or felt._

Harry turned then, "Guess I don't have a choice but to believe you. After all, the word of a triple agent is something I can take to the bank, right?" Potter left slamming the door behind him.

Severus remained on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him. He regretted everything, every decision he had ever made and his regret meant nothing, absolutely nothing. For no matter what he did or felt, she would remain dead. Hearing her voice in Harry's memory had destroyed him.

 _I will always love you._

Those words were not meant for him, had never been meant for him. A fresh wash of self-loathing came with the thought, _with the wish_ that he would have preferred the mother to survive the killing curse rather than the son.

Severus really was an evil bastard.

* * *

Harry hid for the rest of the weekend, he skipped Quidditch practice and buried himself in books. He was careful to make sure he ate breakfast and dinner though, for everyone's eyes were on him, the students, the Headmaster, Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick. Harry had no idea what Flitwick thought.

Sunday morning, Hedwig came to him with a letter, or rather a note from Flitwick that read simply, _Ask for help._ Harry gently refolded the note and pocketed it. Never looking up at the head table, he took Hedwig with him, set on finding a quiet place to read. Hedwig nestling on his shoulder.

* * *

Draco and Theo exchanged glances as Harry left the hall. As one they got up and went to the Gryffindor table.

"Granger, what's wrong with Potter?" Draco asked when they got there.

"Get stuffed," Ron said around a mouthful of food.

Draco gave him a disgusted look, "I have no desire to look like you, Weasly. Granger answer my question."

Hermione shrugged, "How am I supposed to know? I'm not Harry."

Theo slammed a fist on the table, "He's your friend little mouse, and far as we are aware nothing in the last week should have caused him to be hiding."

"Harry isn't hiding," Ron said.

Draco scoffed, "Yesterday, I saw him run away from a Hufflepuff, a _Hufflepuff_."

"Her name is Susan Bones, and her aunt is head-" Hermione started.

"Why is the Boy-Who-Lived running away from anyone? He looks like someone has died," Draco stressed.

"He skipped Quidditch practice," Ginny chimed in.

"And when is the last time Potter missed a practice?" he asked.

Fred answered, "When he's unconscious from some sort of attack."

"Or when Harry's in Madam Pomfrey care-" George said.

"Imprisonment," Fred coughed.

"And none of you lions know why Harry's upset now?" Theo asked incredulously.

"If you little snakey-poohs are so worried about him-" George coed.

"-why don't you go talk to him?" Fred suggested with a snigger.

"Maybe we will," Draco declared.

A few of the Gryffindors chuckled.

"You think this is funny?" Theo asked.

"We think you're funny," Fred said grinning.

"So much for Gryffindor friendship being golden," Draco snapped.

Hermione shook her head, "It's funny because if Harry doesn't want to talk then he will not talk."

"The more you try to force him," George began.

"The more closed mouth he gets," Fred said.

"There are a lot of reasons why Hermione and Ron are Harry's only friends," Neville said, poking at his food. "One of them is because he doesn't let anyone else in."

"You know he really would have been a good fit in our house," Theo commented.

Ron snorted, "And what do you think you can do to make Harry talk that we haven't already tried."

Draco met the challenge in his second cousin's gaze, "I will do more than try."

* * *

As it happened Harry's hiding spots were good enough that the next time anyone saw him was in Snape's potions class Monday morning.

Harry had arrived early to class and had set up his cauldron in the closest station to Snape's desk.

Draco put his supplies next to him. "Mind if I partner with you today?"

Harry nodded, not pulling his gaze up from the potions book he was rereading.

"Potter, what's wrong with you?"

Harry didn't say a word.

Draco continued badgering him, but nothing he did got even the slightest rise.

The first hint anyway had for the reason Harry was moody happened when Snape entered the class and avoided his own desk, to avoid Harry unless absolutely necessary. In ignoring Harry, he subsequently ignored Draco too.

"This is weird," Draco said as watched his godfather loom over people on the opposite side of the room.

Harry chuckled, "Not used to be ignored?"

Draco whipped his head around to face the raven haired boy, "You talk?"

Harry grinned, "Will the miracles never cease?"

"Are you alright?" Draco asked.

"Fine," Harry said, focusing back on the potion.

"No, you're not."

"If you were going to answer your own question, why did you ask me?"

"You've been hiding. Why?"

"None of your business," Harry said evenly.

"Everyone's worried about you."

"Sweet of them."

"What happened? Was it something to do with Snape? You had detention with him, right?" Draco pressed.

Harry frowned at the blonde, "I'm alive, I'm fine. Why do you even care?"

"Because Slytherins take care of their own."

"Unless you're a Death Eater," Harry sniped.

Draco hissed, "Watch your mouth."

Harry's mouth twitched, "Don't challenge me to a hissing contrast, Draco, we both know I'll win that one. Or do you want to try summoning more serpents?"

"You have no idea what happened to our families after the war," Draco whispered.

"I know mine ended up dead, well, everyone I might have liked anyway," Harry muttered.

"What is wrong with you?" Draco said, exasperated.

"Do you want the long list or just the highlights?" Harry asked.

"I am trying to be _nice,_ Potter."

"Then maybe you should, I don't know, use my name, it's Harry in case you're wondering."

Draco shook his head, "I don't understand you at all."

Shadows darkened Harry's eyes, "Honestly, I don't think I do either."

Draco and Harry's potion was the best in the class, Snape even gave five points to Gryffindor -after the fifteen he gave to Slytherin.

* * *

Harry was quiet in Arithmancy but the flinched, beaten dog look he'd been wearing all weekend was gone. He even apologized for 'avoiding' Susan.

Luna gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as they were packing up at the end of class.

* * *

Harry didn't know what to think anymore. Learning that he had died when he was a baby was strange. Remembering his father and mother in the afterlife was… He didn't have words for what that was. Harry's only memory of his parents was their screaming as they were murdered, other people's memories, Voldemort's ghost wand, and the Resurrection Stone. But the memory of his mother telling him she would always love him and his father telling him to live was both healing and soul destroying.

Two questions had been haunting him. One, if he had died he would be with them, so was living really better? Two, if his father had wanted him to live why did the Resurrection Stone version of him encourage him to die?

The first he should probably talk with Flitwick and/or Sirius with.

The second? Harry was thinking he needed to get his hands on a copy of _Beedle the Bard_ and maybe write a letter to Luna's father. Mr. Lovegood had known about the Hallows when he talked to him just a few months ago.

* * *

Umbridge was actually lecturing in their afternoon class that Monday and what she had to say had Harry holding a hand over his mouth.

Draco had sat next to him this class too, trying and failing to get Harry to talk about what was wrong.

Draco gave Harry an odd look as Harry made a near farting noise into his palm in an attempt not to laugh.

"Centaurs are barbaric, unintelligent-"

Harry lost it, laughing full out, as he remembered her threatening them in the Forbidden Forest, and them dragging her away.

The entire class was staring at him.

"And what is so funny, Mr. Potter?" Umbridge asked coldly.

"I dare you to repeat that to a centaur, I am sure they'll love it, and that you'll walk away on top," Harry grinned. The glorious image of wailing crossing his mind's eye.

She glared at him, "Centaurs are dumb animals-"

"They aren't animals," Harry said over her, "They aren't even technically Magical Creatures, they just wanted to be left alone and out of Wizarding politics so they waved their inclusion as Magical Beings."

The class, all of whom, aside from Crabbe and Goyle were in his DADA students were gazing at him in fascinated horror.

"Detention," Umbridge said.

"For what?" Harry snarked.

"For talking without raising your hand and spreading lies."

Harry crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, "If you want to make a field trip to the forest we can prove who the liar in the room is. Me, who thinks you should treat Centaurs like foreign world leaders -especially when on their territory, or you, who thinks insulting them is going to play out well."

"Fifteen points from Gryffindor," Umbridge snapped, "And a full week of detention."

"I can't on Friday, prior plans and all," Harry said with a lazy grin. He was enjoying yanking her chain. He could practically see the steam rising from her pink hat.

"Quidditch is not an acceptable-"

"It's not Quidditch."

"Then you will be in my office every day this week, including Friday."

Harry sighed loudly, and then said in a slow, patronizing tone, "I am busy on Friday, I. Have. Prior. Plans."

"What are you doing?" Draco asked under his breath.

Umbridge gritted her teeth, her pumps clicking on the stone floor as she stomped towards him, "What prior plans?"

"None of your business," Harry teased.

"You cannot skip detention," she demanded, voice rising.

Harry smiled, "I don't intend to."

"So you will be in my office Friday-"

"No," Harry said slowly, "I just told you, I can't on Friday." Harry glanced at his watch.

"Skipping detention can get you expelled."

"Yes, but I already have detention with Professor Snape, and he called dibs."

Umbridge blinked at him in surprise, mouth parted, whatever she was going to say clearly lost.

The bell rang and Harry was one of the first out of the room.

Draco and Daphne were hot on his heels.

"What was that?" Daphne snarled.

"Entertainment," Harry said, "You should be thanking me that was a full ten minute detour of a rubbish lecture."

"But your detentions?" Draco throw in.

Harry shrugged, "I already finished my homework for the week."

"What about OS?" Daphne pressed.

"We have the weekend or the mornings," Harry said. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to go explain myself to my Head of House before the Toad gets to her."

* * *

Dear Readers,

So intended this to be a fluff chapter. But this is Order of the Phoenix and a Harry without angst just wouldn't be the same. Harry's mood swings are based on what I have experienced as someone who has anxiety and depression, where there are days without ambition and days were worry drives you mad, when people are the last thing you want and other times it something that is badly needed.

Would it be nice to write Harry without these issues? Sure. But seeing as he is an abused child, a child soldier, has died, has killed, has lost almost everyone he loved, and is now learning how to be an adult in a 15 year old's body I see that as less than plausible. He would have PTSD in some form, which I have experienced a bit and my love goes out to anyone who deals with it because it is physical and mental torture your mind and body does to itself.

I write fiction so I can be compassionate and enjoy a world that is flawed. I am also a visual artist so creative writing allows me to use words to access a part of my brain that is typically nonverbal. If you haven't figured out that I am somewhat of an intense person and want something more laidback to read (or someone who doesn't have dyslexia) then I would move away from my stories.

For those of you who choose to stay with me on my ongoing writings and share your thoughts with me, I thank you.

Warmest Regards,

Jacob Apples

P.S. Luna told me to tell you she's taken up residence with my muse.


	10. Joy

AN: So everyone's cool with the way I did Snape? Luna and Muse are friends.

* * *

KEYNOTE: my change on Cannon on fifth year classes; Monday: Double Potions, Arithmancy, DADA. Tuesday: Transfiguration, Charms, Double Break. Wednesday: Double Herbology, Magical Creatures, History of Magic. Thursday: History of Magic, DADA, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Double Astronomy. Friday: Break, Charms, Magical Creatures, Break. Weekend.

I will stay as close to this as possible. Four Periods a day, each class meets in blocks of two. Astronomy meets depending when the stars come out? I know it says nine pm at one point but I would think it would be a seasonal thing.

* * *

Chapter 10

 _Today, I drew a butterfly falling from the sky._

 _Yellow to blue._

 _I owled it to my father. I told him that Harry Potter might be my friend._

 _27th of September 1995._

 _L.L._

* * *

Harry had no idea how he was going to get out of this. It was Tuesday and he was sitting his make up detention during his break which she happened to have a break too.

Serendipity-da-day.

A part of him thought that maybe she wouldn't bring out the blood quill as there were still classes in session, but was not surprised when she laid it on his desk, her ugly rings gleaming dully. The pink in this room was annoying and though he liked cats the kittens around him seemed somehow demonic.

 _I must not tell lies_. Harry stared down at the parchment in front of him. He saw the back of his hand, it was unblemished. He wasn't going to scar himself again, not for Umbridge and not for his damned pride. But how to get out of this?

He looked up at Umbridge, her eyes wide with eager anticipation, bloodthirsty hag.

 _What would Sirius do?_ Harry asked himself.

His eyes slid to the door and he grinned.

* * *

A loud yelling and pounding footsteps sounded in the hall. A few bangs from a wand and a screeching for someone to "Stop!"

Students poked their heads out of their classes as they watched the famous Harry Potter running full tilt down the halls, a black feathered quill raised above his head like a torch, Umbridge lagging behind him. Her stride was comparatively tiny to Harry's and the clicking patter of her heels made an uneven rhythm, clearly, she was not used to running. Her wand was fisted in her hand as she tried desperately to keep up.

Students began to cheer Harry on as he ran and kept shouting, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Harry barged into the Transfiguration room, dropping to duck under McGonagall's desk as Umbridge's stunner knocked over a box of mice.

Fred and George were howling with laughter as Umbridge shrieked, dancing on her toes.

Minerva had her wand raised, the mice turning to bouncy balls which Dolores stepped on, causing her feet to go out from under her. She landed on her back with a resounding thump, her little humph was barely audible in the chattering and laughter in the room.

"Mister Potter!" McGonagall demanded, turning on him, her wand held at her side. "What is the meaning of this? This is a NEWTs level class."

"He was in detention with me," Umbridge gasped as she got to her knees.

Harry laid the quill on McGonagall's desk, "She wanted me to write lines with this."

McGonagall's lips were set as she was about to mention that lines were hardly the worst detention and then she saw the quill and her eyes widened in horror.

Minerva pulled Harry behind her with her free hand. She had her wand pointed at the shorter witch who had finally gotten to her feet. "You dare," Minerva said darkly, "You dare use a Blood Quill on one of my students? I will have you-"

"They are not illegal and the boy needed to be taught a les-"

"Blood Quills have been outlawed at Hogwarts for hundreds of years!" Minerva exclaimed. The class had descended into silence. None of them had ever seen their professor looking this angry or this dangerous.

"The Ministry-"

"I do not give a damn about the Ministry. I am Assistant Headmistress at this school and I forbid this. I shall take on any detention you give out and I shall bring this to the Headmaster."

Umbridge sneered at the taller woman, "Cornelius will hear of this."

"Tell him," Minerva invited, "Go ahead and tell him you were about to torture a student for speaking out of turn. If I find out that you have attempted this on any other student I will be writing a personal letter to every parent who has a child at this school and we shall see what they have to say."

Umbridge glared.

"Get out of my classroom," McGonagall commanded.

Umbridge opened her mouth but McGonagall yelled at her, "Get out!"

Umbridge left and the room cheered, even the Slytherins.

McGonagall turned to Harry who could not suppress his urge to hug her, a quick one but a real one. "Thank you," he said just loud enough for her to hear.

"You are still in detention, Mr. Potter," she said firmly, "Take a seat, you will being joining this class, it is a double period and the homework will be the completion of your detention."

Harry all but skipped to a seat between the twins.

They both slapped him on the back warmly.

* * *

They were transforming inanimate objects into animated ones, nonverbally. Harry was pleased with this challenge, his block of wood turning into a snake with bark patterned scales by the end of the period.

It was a real snake, it moved in all snakelike ways, but Harry wasn't sure how to make it real. It was moving, but the eyes were lifeless black pits.

Maximillion, who sat a row behind them, his snake was sassing the class about how filthy humans smelled and how hungry she was.

Harry summoned a tiny mouse from the box that McGonagall had fixed back to its original position.

Harry turned and placed the mouse on Max's desk and he hissed in Parseltongue, " _Here, food. Can you stop complaining now, it is distracting?_ "

The sassy snake blinked once at him, " _Speaker?_ " Then she ignored him, quickly devouring the mouse before it could flee.

Max gaped at him.

"What?" Harry asked, "She wouldn't shut about how hungry she was."

"She?" The Slytherin boy next to Max asked. He wasn't in the BBCE.

"Everyone knows I'm a Parselmouth," Harry informed the Slytherin before turning back to his own snake shaped lump of wriggling wood.

Fred and George were grinning at him.

"What?"

The bell rang and they began to clean up their things.

"Nothing," George started.

"Just you-" Fred continued.

George, "Out slithering-"

"The Slytherins," Fred finished.

* * *

Harry went to Flitwick's office after class.

"What's been going on?" Flitwick asked.

Harry plopped himself in a chair opposite from his professor. "Umbridge tried to use a blood quill on me and McGonagall saved me."

Flitwick crossed his arms. "I heard. Now tell me what has been happening with you. I haven't talked with you since your meeting with Albus. How did that go?"

Harry sighed, "He said I deserved to have a childhood and shouldn't be pushing myself in class."

Flitwick was silent for a long moment before he asked, "How did you like Minerva's NEWT class?"

"I didn't master the spell but it was, it was challenging and I liked sharing a class with Fred and George. They are helpful and light hearted. Ron and Hermione are more competitive, or disinterested, or bickering. That was fine when I was younger but now it seems, overly childish and well, hard, I don't know just-"

"Hard to be a part of," Flitwick finished for him.

Harry sighed, "It isn't that I don't like them or being around them, but yes, I feel like I don't fit in anymore."

"And yet you are getting along with the older students," Flitwick stated.

Harry pursed his lips, "Is age really such a big deal?"

"It can be, especially with the sort of experiences you have had. That your two best friends have no memory of what you remember experiencing with them is another layer."

"So how do I fit in again?" Harry asked.

"Are you asking how you can be your fifteen-year-old self again?" Flitwick rephrased, "Harry you can never go back to who you were, well not without a memory charm and there are simply too many ways that could go wrong. Besides, there are marks left on the soul that would haunt you if you no longer remembered their cause."

"But I have gone back to being fifteen, haven't I? I mean look at me," Harry stretched his arms out, "I'm short."

Flitwick smiled, "Height is not everything."

Harry's cheeks reddened, "Sorry."

"Non-taken, Harry."

"I just meant this isn't my body."

Flitwick frowned, "It is indeed your body, and you need to start taking better care of it."

"I've been eating," Harry said, affronted.

"You've been skipping lunch for almost a full week and while stature isn't a paramount concern you are short for your age in a way that isn't genetic. Did the Dursleys feed you properly when you were growing up?"

Harry didn't say a word.

It was Flitwick's turn to sigh. "Harry, why is it that in your narrative of your life you leave out your family?"

"They aren't," Harry said at once, "At least they aren't people who really care about what happens to me."

Flitwick looked into Harry's eyes for a long moment, "Worse comes to worse, Harry, you shall be spending the summer with me. Albus will find himself in trouble is he tries going against me."

"Albus always has a say in what happens to me," and he didn't sound happy about that fact.

"What would you say about entering Minerva's NEWT classes permanently?"

Harry's eyes widened, "I am pretty far behind aren't I?"

"We are only entering the fourth week, you are an able student. I see no reason you couldn't catch up and keep up. Of course, you will be expected to take your OWLs. But you don't have to take any NEWTs until your seventh year if you don't want to take them this school year."

"But-" Harry said, his thoughts tangling, "What about my other classes? And just NEWTs in Transfiguration? That isn't even my strongest class and what would I do in the next two years?"

"In Transfiguration, Minerva made noises about you being interested in learning to be an animagus. That is a full year of study on its own, and for your last year well you have options. As for your other classes, Severus will continue you as you are, as he said, it will not hurt you to learn some of those potions by heart. Pomona also thinks that repetition is not a bad thing for her subject."

"Wait, you didn't tell them that I-"

"Time traveled, no. But the ease that you have shown in your classes speaks for itself. Of course, this was an informal meeting without the Headmaster or Dolores."

Harry sunk into his seat, "I am not a genuis."

"No, but you deserve a challenge, I know you have been studying on your own being a class, in the long run, will be easier than doing busy work and then practicing without someone to help you," Flitwick said. "Repetition seemed to be the take away for most of your professors. Minerva seemed to think that three courses most advisable for you to advance in are Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense. For obvious reasons Defense isn't an option, however, the time in which you have Transfiguration with the fifth years is the time I have my sixth year Ravenclaw class. You could start you're NEWTs next year in Charms and for your seventh year, as we have discussed you could be my teaching assistant."

Harry's heart pounded. It sounded too good to be true. He had never loved classwork before but lately, schoolwork was the only thing keeping him sane. Learning was fun, was interesting, was so much better than wallowing about things that he had no power over. Yet, "Hermione-"

"Ms. Granger is a brilliant student, inquisitive and highly capable, however, though she appears to learn quickly that is due to a great deal of hard work. You are advancing with minimal effort. You have been studying books that are beyond your grade."

"So does Hermione," Harry argued.

"Ms. Granger is not reading advance theory nor is she reading spell books with little to no explanations. Don't think that us teachers don't keep track of the titles of the books our students are carrying around. Harry, you have been reading things well beyond what most Hogwarts or adults of any age pick up. Ms. Granger is reading textbooks, you are reading studies. Your essays also show an interaction and deeper understanding than Ms. Granger's re-iteration of lessons. You don't think Severus gave you an Outstanding on an essay willingly do you?"

Harry shook his head and said stubbornly, "I am not a genuis, I am just older."

"Harry," Flitwick said kindly, "You are and have always been gifted magically, you have a great deal of power and you are inquisitive by nature. You- well spellwork clicks with you. You have an excellent handle on theory when you put your mind to it and more than that how you get from action back to theory. Lily was very good with that and no one ever doubted James's raw talent. It appears you received the best from both of them."

Harry looked away, unable to control his expression at the mention of his parents.

Flitwick continued, "You are not the first student to pass through Hogwarts with the offer to do advanced studies. We would have offered it to both Sirius and James had they been more serious students or even Lily had she been less social. Luna Lovegood's mother, Pandora Lovegood, was advanced in Potions and Charms. Andromeda Tonks graduated with seven NEWTs in her sixth year. Other students, such as Tom Riddle or even Albus Dumbledore declined their ability to advance for social reasons. Harry, in light of what you have been through, I think this change, these opportunities will make you happier in the long run."

Harry squeezed his hands in his lap. He wasn't happy right now. He was bored and annoyed and stressed and sad and he did want change. He was sick of living in the past. Well, he liked having everyone alive, and for once being ahead of Voldemort, but he was sick of pretending to be fifteen. "Alright, yeah, so NEWTs for Transfiguration and with sixth years for your class. Though, I think it should be the other way around."

Flitwick smiled, "Minerva wants you to rise to the occasion, personally I think she wants you to keep the twins in line."

Harry snorted, "No one keeps the twins in line."

"You should know that I told Minerva about you talking to me. She knows I know about Sirius. Nothing about the time change just your personal and academic life. She believes that I am your confidant."

"You are my confidant," Harry said.

"Apparently, not one you trust enough to talk about what happened this weekend with," Flitwick prodded.

Harry winced. "I had my first Occlumency class with Snape."

Flitwick went very still, "What did he see?"

"My deaths and what happened in the in-between."

"How do you mean?"

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Voldemort hitting me with the killing curse."

"So Severus knows you are from the future."

"Nope," Harry said, "At first that's what we saw. And then there was this white mist and Albus said something about what's in your head being real but then I was in Godric's Hollow, in the old house and I was a baby and I was sitting in a misty white living room and my parents- they- my parents were there."

Flitwick's mind whirled, "The first time? You remembered the first time you were struck by the killing curse?"

"I remembered the first time I died."

"Oh Harry-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry said. "Please just don't make me talk about it anymore."

"Of course," Flitwick said. "Is there anything you need?"

"Sirius, I really just want to Sirius- he would know- I guess he, I don't know..." Harry finished lamely.

"He's your godfather and he loves you as you love him," Flitwick said softly, "And he loved and knew your parents. I will talk to Minerva and see if there is anything that can be arranged."

"No one else gets to see their parents in the school year," Harry pointed, "I don't want to be special."

"Harry," Flitwick sighed, "No other student was purposely pitted against a Dark Lord with a terrorist following who was also more than four times their age. I don't think being permitted to see your guardian over a weekend for emotional trauma would be considered coddling."

Harry's mouth quicked, "Yeah, suppose you're right. It is just, last time I didn't really get to know him, I mean I loved him and he was there in a way that nobody else had been but then he was gone and it was my fault."

"It was not your fault."

Harry set his expression, not arguing but not agreeing.

Flitwick shook his head, "Perhaps this is a conversation you must have with him. I feel as though Sirius's death is more real to you than Sirius himself. If you make your memory and the real person confront, you may be better able to better handle this reality."

Harry blinked at his professor, "Did anybody ever tell you, you're pretty wise?"

Flitwick smirked, "My dear, I am Head of Ravenclaw House."

* * *

Harry found Luna after dinner to ask if he could owl her father about a question he had.

She nodded.

"Thanks," Harry said.

As he began to turn, Luna caught his hand, "Harry?"

He stopped and faced her fully, "Yes, Luna?"

Her pale eyes seemed to take all of him in, "Are we friends?"

Harry was not sure what compelled him, maybe it was because in all that was happening, Luna, Luna Lovegood was the one solid presence in his life. The one person he didn't bother to think about who he was around because it wouldn't matter to her if he was from the future or not, it just mattered that he was Harry. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, "Friends, forever and always." Smiling Harry headed for the owlery to read and write some letters.

Luna watched him go, a hand pressed to her cheek. Her heart was racing, _how peculiar._

Unbenounced to her, she was smiling; Harry Potter was her first friend ever and according to him _forever and always_.

She didn't notice the people giggling at her expression, as they pointed and whispered, she didn't notice the little creatures swirling around their heads, she didn't notice much of anything as she went in the direction of the Astronomy tower. She would be early, but she wouldn't mind, the stars were good company when your being was swelling with joy.


	11. A Question of Love

Cannon Quote: "I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."  
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

* * *

Harry's New Times Table: Monday: Double Potions, Arithmancy, DADA. Tuesday: Charms, Break, Double Transfiguration. Wednesday: Double Herbology, Magical Creatures, History of Magic. Thursday: History of Magic, DADA, Charms, Arithmancy, Double Astronomy. Friday: Double Break, Magical Creatures, Break. Weekend.

* * *

AN: This fanfiction obviously isn't an action story and there are a lot more philosophy quandaries and character development than anything else. I aim to keep that pace. Hopefully, you find these chapters enjoyable. Please review with your reactions and thoughts, it is the reason I post chapters. Thank you to the reviewers!

AN: Critics, especially for **spelling and grammar** issues **please PM** if you must, it just feels less aggressive.

* * *

Chapter 11 - A Question of Love

 _Dear Mr. Lovegood,_

 _Hi, I'm Luna's friend, Harry. I hope this letter finds you well._

 _I wasn't really sure how to start this letter or how to ask this question but I don't know who else to ask. I think you've heard of the three Hallows from the Beedle the Bard story. I was curious about the Resurrection Stone. If I were to theoretically use it and if I were theoretically to see my loved ones, do you think it would really show me my loved ones? I mean do you think my parents or godfather would encourage me to walk to my death even if my death my lead to the Dark Lord's death?_

 _I was wondering if you might have any thoughts on the matter._

 _Warmest Regards,_

 _Harry Potter_

* * *

Harry looked down at the letter he had written. It sounded crazy and yes it was probably a question better phrased to Sirius, but Sirius might lie to spare Harry's feelings. Harry was betting that Xenophilius might be more interested in the metaphysical aspect of his question than the emotions behind it.

"Hedwig, this is a very dangerous time to be delivering mail, but I am not sure how else to send it," Harry told her as he petted her white feathered head.

She glared at him reproachfully, offended that he thought she couldn't deliver mail.

"Don't look at me like that," Harry chided, "You got injured in the last timeline. Umbridge went after you. You have to be careful."

She stuck her leg out at him. She hooted, demanding he give her the letter.

Harry sighed and tied the letter to her leg, "Be careful, Hedwig, you are beautiful and people can spot you easily. I'll never forgive myself if you get hurt coming back."

She nipped his finger, hooted her goodbye and flew out the window.

Harry watched her go, nerves clenching his stomach.

* * *

 _Father sent me a watercolor painting of a firebug underwater._

 _Orange and blue._

 _I sent him back a drawing of a goldfish I made in history class._

 _Orange and black._

 _He liked Harry's handwriting. He said that it looks like twigs. Good twigs._

 _1st of October 1995_

 _L.L._

* * *

"Hermione, Ron, I need to talk to you about something," Harry started.

They were sitting in the common room and after Harry told them Hermione ran up to her room.

"Why?" Ron asked sadly.

"I need a change," Harry said, his heart aching, he didn't want to lose Hermione's friendship.

"Why?" Ron repeated.

Harry thought about telling him the truth. Giving Ron the chance to be the good person Harry knew that he was. But Harry couldn't, he would rather have Ron and Hermione hate him than have them know the truth because if they knew and this distance remained between them it would kill something inside of him.

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" Harry asked instead of answering.

"Because the Harry I knew wouldn't blow off Quidditch practice or hurt Hermione's feelings," Ron said.

"If you are talking about this weekend it was because of Snape," Harry defended. This he could tell Ron.

"And what did Snape do to make flying a broom seem like not the best place to be?"

"He got inside my head and I remembered getting hit with the killing curse."

Ron's eyes widened, "What?"

"I saw it, I remembered, and I didn't live like everybody thinks. The killing curse did kill me, I just didn't stay dead."

"How?" Ron asked, "How is that even possible?"

"Magic?" Harry supplied.

"Not even magic can bring back the dead, Harry," Ron told him.

"Then how am I still alive?"

"Because you're Harry Potter."

But they both knew that wasn't an answer, Harry was nobody, he was only somebody because whatever his mother did had blown Voldemort apart and not allowed Harry to pass on to the other side.

* * *

Hermione didn't talk to Harry for the remainder of the week and though Ron wasn't mad at him, he stayed close to Hermione's side.

On Thursday, Harry entered the Ravenclaw charms class and Cho descended on him. Fifteen minutes into the class Harry was immensely regretting sitting with Cho and Marietta. Marietta seemed to hate him still and Cho, well Cho would giggle at everything he said and kept touching his arm.

Fate was cruel, when he was fifteen her very presence had made his stomach flutter. Now? All he wanted to do was shove her off her seat.

He wasn't sure the polite way to get her to leave him alone. In fact, the more distant he got with her the more she persisted.

"Harry, you so good-"

The bell cut her off and Harry made a break for the door. The class itself was enjoyable, he knew these spells but he had yet to perfect them. As Harry went to his Arithmancy he sighed in relief when he sat down at their table.

Astoria and Susan were already there.

"What happened to you?" Astoria asked, eyeing him warily.

More nicely, Susan commented, "You look ruffled."

Harry ran a hand through his hair in agitation, "Cho Chang."

"She's pretty," Susan remarked. "I can't believe she broke up with Cedric though."

Harry winced, "Did she break up with him or did Cedric break up with her?"

"Why would you ask that?" Astoria asked.

"Because," Harry said, "she is bloody annoying. I thought she was shy but noooo- she has to be nearly as clingy as Lavender Brown."

"Lavender isn't clingy and she hates you," Susan said smiling.

Harry bit his cheek, nobody had seen Lavender go out with Ron yet. "How do you get a girl to leave you alone without hurting their feelings?"

"Telling someone you want them to leave you alone does hurt people's feelings," Luna said as she took her seat across from Harry. "It implies loneliness."

"I don't want Cho to be hurt, I just want her to stop flirting with me," Harry mumbled.

"She can't be that hard to avoid," Astoria remarked. "You what, see her at meals, the halls, and BC? It's not like you have to share a full class with her."

He ducked his head, "I do now, actually."

"What do you mean?" Susan asked.

"I switched in Flitwick's sixth year charms class and McGonagall's seventh year class."

"Congratulations!" Luna praised, smiling and not so much clapped as patted her hands together. It was an energetic gesture without the noise.

"Thanks, Luna," Harry said, a tension in his shoulders easing.

Susan and Astoria followed Luna's lead.

"Yeah, Harry," Susan congratulated, "It is quite an achievement. Students rarely get to advance."

"I was advanced in Arithmancy," Astoria pointed out, "Of course, this is my favorite subject."

"Really?" Susan asked, "You don't seem to enjoy yourself much."

"It's all butterflies and rainbows on the inside, Bones," Astoria replied drily.

Susan rolled her eyes, "What did Hermione and Ron say to you switching out of their classes to advance?"

"Ron thinks I am being selfish to hurt Hermione's feelings," Harry said.

Astoria and Susan snorted in unison.

"What?"

"Ron Weasley being emotionally sensitive?" Susan repeated.

"The irony runs deep, Potter," Astoria said.

"You don't even know him," Harry said to the younger Slytherin.

"Everyone knows Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger," Susan stated.

"You say it like they're the famous ones," Harry said.

"They are famous because you are," Luna said wistfully.

"They are also louder than you are," Susan pointed out.

Astoria answered Harry's confused expression, "You're so quiet but everyone is always watching and listening to you. Yet typically all we hear is what Granger and Weasley say or have to say about you. The whole school only knows you through them, well aside from your performances on the Quidditch pitch and the end of year stories about the Dark Lord, dementors, and Basilisks. Last year with the dragon was the first time we as a group saw you in action, naturally, you were on a broom."

Harry really wanted to say 'You should see what happens in the next three years,' but settled for, "You're saying the whole school just knows me through secondary sources."

"Sometimes 37th, some of the books they published were quite outrageous, Father published a few articles that discredited many of the books printed about you," Luna pronounced.

"Well if a Lovegood says a book is made up you know the thing is worthless," Astoria said, face set.

Harry couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

"Harry, the thing we are all trying to say is that you're famous but nobody knows you personally or even outwardly because you are pretty shy," Susan explained.

 _The Chosen One_ , Harry flinched at the thought, _famous for my parents being murdered. Chosen for slaughter, to be the martyr so others might live on and win the day._

"Harry," Luna called softly, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts.

Susan touched his shoulder and he nearly fell off his cushion.

"Where is the Professor?" Harry asked trying to cover up his reaction as he resettled in his seat. Harry looked around him, "And where are the rest of the students?"

"Class was canceled today," Astoria informed him.

"Professor Vector had to go see her sister for some reason," Susan added.

Harry blinked, "So what are we doing here?"

"The three of us thought it would be a good time to have our study group that you mentioned," Luna said, still focusing on him with the full weight of her awareness.

"Oh," Harry said, "Okay, um, guess it is as good a time as any. Where do you guys want to start? All three of you know more than me so I can't really teach this subject."

Astoria grinned, "The teacher shall become the pupil."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her, "Why does that sound like a threat?"

Luna giggled.

"Harry?" Susan started, "What did Hermione say about you moving ahead of her?"

"She hasn't said anything yet," Harry said.

"She doesn't know how else to be," Luna said gently.

"What are you babbling about?" Astoria snipped.

"Hermione, she doesn't know her worth other than to be the smartest, without the books she doesn't think she's worth much. She's wrong, she just doesn't know it yet," Luna explained.

"Hermione's brilliant," Harry defended.

"So are you," Susan said.

"Hermione has saved my life more than once."

"And in time she'll understand that your friendship means more to her than her abilities," Luna consoled, meeting Harry's gaze with a kindness that made Harry's heart clench.

A little strained, he said, "Guess we better get started with the Arithmancy homework?"

The three girls smiled -in Astoria's case smirked, and pulled out their books. The group of four did indeed get their homework, along with figuring out how to charge a numbered circled. At this rate, Professor Vector might have to advance all of them as the joint effort of a student from each house offered a potent measure magical potential.

* * *

 _Dear, Dearest Mister Harry James Potter,_

 _I cannot express how pleased I am to hear from you nor how happy I am that you are friends with my Luna._

 _As to your inquiries, there are many theories but I will share with you the one I feel to be worthy of thought._

 _Say the Beedle the Bard is the complete tale._

 _The Elder Wand was powerful enough to defeat any but Death himself. Yet the way such a wand was passed on was through the murdering of the original owner. Humans, magical and none magical alike are prone to killing each other, mostly out of greed. Unless the wielder of Elder Wand could be awake all the time and knew enough to use the wand, the owner would eventually be killed, as power without the means to use it is without purpose. So Death was able to guarantee the early demise of anyone who owns such a wand, hence why it is sometimes referred to as the Death Stick. Death, because it brings death, Stick because what is a wand that cannot be wielded but a fancy stick._

 _The Invisibility Cloak is by far the most usable of the Hallows, its safety in use relies on the factor that Death thought that no one would hide under a blanket for the rest of eternity just to escape him. Afterall, what is a life worth if you live it in hiding?_

 _The Resurrection Stone is in all likelihood the most twisted of the Hallows. It offers the promise of regaining what can never be regained, not in this life. Some say it brings back the dead, but I rather think it shows us glimpse into Death's realm. Our loved ones may be waiting for us, but we know that they cannot be in our world again as they were once. Ghosts are mere shadows of the people they were in life. A ghost is little better than a painting._

 _Yet I believe that the Resurrection Stone cannot even do that much. The stone doesn't bring people back, not even as ghosts. The Stone uses our memories and our imaginations to create phantoms who will say and do anything to bring us to Death willingly. Like drinking deep of sweet poison, the second brother was made to kill himself._

 _I am not sure if you have encountered the Hallows or not. I would advise that you not use the stone if you have it. But I shall not make assumptions of my daughter's friends, though I will end this letter with a final thought._

 _The symbols of the three Hallows; the triangle, the line, and the circle together is not a symbol of mastering Death as many of come to believe. Rather it is a symbol of overcoming the fear of death, overcoming the fear of physical pain, and overcoming the desire to live without loss. The Hallows serve as a lesson that we can never master Death, but that we may come to master ourselves._

 _I wish you all the very best, Harry. Do treat my daughter well._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Xenophilius Lovegood_

 _P.S. Burn this letter so the Nargles don't get it._

* * *

Harry kissed the top of Hedwig's head. She was uninjured, _Thank Merlin_. Harry had nearly panicked when she had come to him in his Astronomy class.

He was currently cuddling her on his lap as he reread the letter for the dozenth time that night by the fireplace.

Harry hadn't know Hedwig liked to cuddled this much but since returning to the past Hedwig seemed to feel his need for closeness. Though thinking back to Susan's light touch on his arm and Cho's bothersome proximity in Charm's class, maybe closeness was a selective thing.

Harry wasn't sure what to make of Xenophilius's words. Though in all honesty, the man's reasoning was a hundred percent more logical than Dumbledore's explanation of love when Harry had asked how he had survived the killing curse. It was extremely logical that the phrase "Master of Death" was a metaphor. Yet Harry wondered about his time traveling when he had technically owned all three Hallows and used none of them when the end had come.

 _End._

What end was there for Harry? He had died twice and his spirit/soul whatever had been brought back three years in the past after his second death to re-live everything. Though he wasn't exactly re-living, he was just living, everything was changing whether he was moving forward in 1998 or 1995. He was still moving forward.

It wasn't an answer exactly, but Harry felt better about the time travel with that thought, that yes he had and yes he was changing things that were beyond his knowledge. There was comfort in the unknown, as long as the unknown didn't include Voldemort coming back to full power or Death Eaters breaking out of prison.

Harry sighed and reread the letter.

If Xenophilius was right, then the people who had emerged from the stones were not his parents, not Sirius, they were reflections of Harry's deepest fears and desires.

Hadn't his boggart turned into his mother? His beautiful mother who he would never know, hadn't she beckoned him to join her, to die?

Was Harry afraid to die? Or was he afraid he wanted to die? Or was what he feared most of all, that the woman who had given her life for his, the mother who had loved him more than anything else in this world wanted him dead?

That was not an answer Xenophilius had kindly provided. Harry realized that no matter how many times he looked over the logical letter -aside from the Nargal bit, there was nothing more Harry could glean from it. He wanted Hermione to read it, he wanted her opinion, but she had taken one look at him sitting in the common room and fled to her room. Even if Harry asked Ginny to go get her or even if he took his broom and went up himself, Harry doubted Hermione would want to help him right now.

With one last glance at the letter, he threw the parchment into the fire.

Hedwig hooted and hopped onto his shoulder, biting his ear before nuzzling his cheek.

 _Silly bird_ , Harry thought with a grin, as he lifted a hand to rub below her beak.

* * *

Remus Lupin was watching Sirius Black closely as the man re-read his godson's letter over and over again.

"Is it a very long letter?" Remus finally asked after nearly two hours.

"No," Sirius turning and slamming the letter on the table, "No, it is not a very long letter, in fact, it is a very short letter." With one hand he pulled on his long curls.

"May I?" Remus asked.

"Go ahead," Sirius said, "There is nothing in it."

Remus pulled the letter forward, "Sirius, this is two pages."

"I don't care if it were a hundred pages. There's nothing in it."

Remus read the first paragraph.

 _I talked with Dumbledore, he says I should make up with Ron and Hermione. We haven't hung out lately. I got moved up in Filius's class and moved up two years in Transfiguration. Though I think I am stronger in charms._

The rest of the letter detailed his classes.

"Sirius," Remus slowly, "there is a lot of information in this letter."

"No," he said. "It's empty, impersonal."

"He talked to Dumbledore."

"Yes, and what did he write about it? What did he have to say about the old man, who he was practically afraid of and seemed to detest this summer wanted? That Dumbledore wanted him to be closer to his two best friends? What did Harry detail about his classes? The types of spells and the number essays he's doing? Nothing about how he feels or his friends or anything of any substance. Something is wrong, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus conjoled, "You're reading too much into this."

"No, I'm not," Sirius growled.

"Harry is a strong-"

"He's Lily, Remus. Harry is exactly like his mother if a bit more forgiving."

"I thought you had placed him as James's replacement."

"No one can replace James. And I thought you said he had Lil's kindness."

"He does but he's as prone to danger as James was," Remus reasoned.

"James sought out danger," Sirius said, "Harry doesn't, well not to make trouble like we did anyway. Besides Lily was just as prone to danger."

"No, she wasn't. Lily always played it safe."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "She was a muggleborn whose best friend was a Death Eater. Safe my shaggy rear-end. She didn't get close to you until after James told her you were a werewolf."

"That's not true, she figured it out-"

"No, she didn't. We didn't just smuggle you out at night when it was the night of the full moon."

"But my sickness-"

"James told her in our fourth year we used you to practice potions on."

Remus blinked, "She believed you?"

"Did she believe James and I would do something so dangerous and stupid? Of course she did," Sirius said.

Remus shook his head, "What does any of this have to do with Harry?"

"James used to complain about Lily doing this all the time. When she was really upset she would hide behind work and research."

"She was in the Order right after Hogwarts and was a stay at home mom soon enough after that. She wouldn't have much time to research."

Sirius huffed a laugh, "Research was what Lily did for the Order, Remus. Apparently, before sixth year Snivellus showed her some pretty dark or at least ancient texts. She got a taste for it."

"I am good at research," Remus said quietly.

"You were also good in a fight and are a werewolf, Dumbledore has a soft spot for muggleborns, he was protective of her."

"Not as much as James was," Remus said.

"Of course not, and that was a part of Lily being reserved in research, James would have been useless if he had to worry about Lily on the battlefield, her skill with wand aside."

"Lily and James were excellent duellists, yet Voldemort was able to tear them down."

Sirius's shoulders tightened to the point of aching, "Yet it was Lily's magic that crippled the bastard."

"It was Harry-"

Sirius snorted, "Don't tell me you bought into that rubbish? The Dark Lord defeated by a baby? Please, plenty of mother's have died for their babes at wand point and the babes have died after them all the same. No, Lily was a master in charms and in Arithmancy, whatever magic she used spared Harry and blew Voldemort to pieces."

Remus was quiet for a long while.

Sirius paced back and forth in front of the firelight.

"What do you think is wrong with Harry?" Remus asked finally.

Sirius sagged to the carpet and put his back against a wall of shelves. "I don't know, Moony, but I have to see him soon. I think he needs me."

"You need him," Remus said softly.

Sirius closed his eyes, images of Lily's towering temper and radiant warmth, James's boisterous laugh and his pleased yet nervous expression every time he held Harry in his arms appeared just out of reach in his mind's eye. And Harry, little Harry whose second word after Mamo had been Pad-oo; Padfoot. The child who Sirius had seen for the first time in thirteen years had been running away from home, whose fear never outweighed his compassion. The boy who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Harry, who wanted to be loved as much as he was extraordinarily able to love others. The person who had pulled Sirius out of the darkness.

"Yeah, I do need him."


	12. The Forbidden Forest

AN: I was accepted into an intensive Hindi program for the summer :D

Also, I think I just poked through what is perhaps the biggest plot hole in the Harry Potter Universe…

* * *

WARNING: This chapter takes a dark dive, it remains PG but still...

* * *

Chapter 12 - The Forbidden Forest

 _Nargles._

 _Nargles are after my things. My shoes are gone. All my shoes are gone. And my purple ink with the orange feathered quill. I don't understand what I did to make them so mad._

 _3rd October 1995_

 _L.L._

* * *

Harry was sitting with the twins for breakfast Saturday morning when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

Turning, a smile bloomed on his face when he saw who it was, "Hi Luna."

She smiled hesitantly in return. "Hi Harry, I was wondering if you might want to spend time with me today."

"Sure," Harry said, rising from his seat.

"Finish eating-"

Harry stuffed the rest of his toast in his mouth and pocketed an apple. He gave her a thumbs up.

She grinned and snagging the cuff of his sleeve led him out of the great hall.

The twins sniggering behind him.

Once they were clear of the tables, however, Harry jerked to a stop.

"Luna, your shoes," Harry said, frowning at her bare toes on the cold stones.

"Nargles took them," she said tugging on his sleeve. "Come on let's go."

Harry turned scanning the room for Flitwick. Harry had been reading this morning and hadn't gone down to breakfast early as he usually did.

"Flitwick must be in his office already. He grades in the mornings," Harry said, taking Luna's hand in turn and leading her towards the 2nd floor.

The moment they were out of sight of the great hall, Luna yanked her hand out of his, "Professor Flitwick will not be able to help against Nargles."

Harry spun to face her, angry, just not at her. "Luna it isn't Nargles-"

"You don't believe me," she said, face falling. She took a step back from him.

"Wait, Luna, just listen. I got bullied in school all the time before I came to Hogwarts, I got my cousins hand me downs, so I was this tiny kid in clothes three to five times too big for me. I had shaggy hair and my cousin would beat up anyone who wanted to be nice to me. I know what it feels like to be the odd one out."

Luna raised her chin, "I know what they call me behind my back, Loony Lovegood. But it is Nargles stealing my shoes."

"And why would Nargles steal your shoes? You told me they live in mistletoe and don't you guard your things with corks?"

Luna blinked at him, "I never told you either of those things, though it is true."

Harry shook his head, "Luna, please believe me that this isn't Nargles stealing your stuff. Let's go tell Flitwick. He'll stop this."

She crossed her arms, glaring at him. "He can't stop the Nargles."

Harry huffed and began heading towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" she asked, trailing behind.

"I am going to go get your shoes back. If you don't want to ask Flitwick for help then I will go get your things back myself."

"You don't know where my dorm is," she said following him, her bare feet padding against the stone floors.

"Luna, the seasons are only going to get colder, this is a cruel prank," Harry said, not slowing down a bit. "So help the people who did this when I get a hold of them."

"You don't know the password."

"Neither do you because it changes every time," Harry shot back.

They reached Ravenclaw. Luna was unhappy. Either Harry was wrong and he should have trusted her or she was wrong and her housemates hated her enough to steal her things.

Harry waited for the knocker to ask its question as Luna watched him closely.

"Who are you?" The knocker asked.

Harry said the first thing that came to mind, "A soul who has existed tomorrow and exists today but is unlikely to exist forever."

The door swung open.

Luna's mouth popped open in a small 'O' of surprise.

Harry strode right into the Ravenclaw common room.

"Harry?" Cho asked.

"You don't belong here," Marietta protested.

Ginny's boyfriend, Michael at up from the chair he had been resting on. "Potter? How did you get in here?"

"Loony Lovegood, must have let him," snarled a fourth year girl.

Harry whipped his wand out, and he snarled right back at her, "Don't you dare call her that." The pressure in the air around the room seemed to change.

"Harry," Luna said softly as she approached him from behind. "You really shouldn't be here."

"I don't care, nobody hurts my friends."

"I'm not hurt," she insisted.

Harry's emerald eyes flicked to her, the pressure in the room lessening. His expression softened and Harry flicked his wand, non-verbally accio-ing Luna's shoes.

There was a rattling from both sides of the girls and boys dorm rooms. Five pairs of shoes lined themselves neatly at Luna's feet.

Luna looked like she might cry.

Softly Harry asked, "Are you missing anything else?"

Luna's jaw set. Stealy resolve overcoming her normally whimsical demeanor as she listed off, "One earring (with beetle wings), A pair of stripey socks, a school cloak, a purple quill -woodpecker, with special markings, an orange quill, two bottles of sum-solving ink (Turquoise and purple), a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them, and my last potions essay."

Each item came to rest at the pile at her feet. The purple quill was pulled from Marietta's pocket, the bottles of sum-solving ink coming out of the fourth year's pocket, and the potion's essay unfolded itself from Michael's textbook that had been resting on the side table next to him.

Luna was so angry, so hurt she didn't know how to be. Harry had been right.

"Well, obviously," Marietta sneered, "Potter planted those things so he could impress you. He's just pretending to be your friend so he ca-"

Luna's stunning spell hit the sixth year girl so fast and so unexpectedly that everyone, aside from Harry and Luna jumped at the loud bang and the sound of Marietta dropping to the floor unable to catch herself.

Aside from the quill, Harry bent down and shrunk all of Luna's possessions. He carefully gathered her things, before handing them to her. "I'll wait here for you to put your stuff away. I don't think anyone is going to try to steal your things anymore." The words were kind but the look Harry gave the occupants of the room was anything but.

Nodding too rapidly, Luna took her things and sprinted up the stairs.

"Harry, I didn't have anything to do-" Cho started the moment Luna left.

"I don't want to hear it, Chang," Harry snapped.

She looked crestfallen. She knelt by Marietta, checking to see if she was alright.

"You're not going to tell Ginny, are you?" Michael asked him.

"It's Hogwarts, Michael, secrets always have a way of coming out."

Luna came back down the steps, wearing shoes.

She didn't wait for Harry as she stormed out of the common room.

It was Harry's turn to follow silently. Luna's pace was quick as she left the castle. Harry watched the wind play with her long curls. His pulse increased when he saw that they were headed for the Forbidden Forest, as they crossed into the line of dark tall trees. The last time he came here, he'd been walking to his death.

"Luna?" He winced at the tremor in his own voice.

Harry knew these woods almost as well as Hagrid, it wasn't the woods he feared, it was the memories.

But Luna didn't stop until they reached the herd of the Thestrals.

A foal pranced up to her and headbutted her hip.

Harry was relieved it wasn't the same clearing that he had died in but he wasn't exactly happy to be here.

Swallowing his emotions he asked, "Luna, Luna, come on, look at me, are you alright?"

"Why do they hate me?" she asked, she petted the black foal's head.

"They don't hate you," Harry consoled.

She whipped her head towards them her pale blue eyes had darkened to a stormy blue-grey, Harry had never seen her eyes look like that.

"If they don't hate me then why do they call me names and steal my things?"

Harry stepped closer to her, "You have to know someone to hate them, or at least to hate you personally."

She stroked the foal's reptilian wing, "Then why?"

"Because they are small minded people who take comfort in the norms even if the norms are mean or stupid."

"Why?"

"Because it's easy, or at least easier than trying to understand someone not like them." Harry reached out to grab her hand, partially for her comfort and partly for his own. He never wanted to return here alone.

She frowned at him, "You don't like being here."

Harry shrugged, "Thestrals are cool."

"But you don't like being in the forest."

Harry shrugged again, "I wouldn't like to come here by myself." He squeezed her hand a little tighter. "Luna, I am sorry people are mean to you."

"They aren't always nice to you either. I don't like the Daily Prophet."

Harry gave her a half smile, "The magical world is the first place I was ever able to make friends."

"Hermione and Ron haven't been nice lately."

"It's not their fault. I changed a lot over the summer. Anyway, it gave me the chance to get to know new people."

"I am not new, you know me."

Harry gave her a skeptical look, unsure of how much she really knew. He wanted to ask, he wouldn't even mind telling her the whole story, but not right now, not in this place. "Hedwig was my first friend."

"Your mine," she said, smiling at him.

He smiled back.

They spent the rest of the day in the forest with the Thestrals. Luna introducing Harry to each one, telling him their names and some of the traits. Like Sando, who was one of the largest male Thestrals -the females being naturally bigger. Sando liked to fly up to one of the higher branches and hold onto a branch with his muzzle and let his weight drag the tree down before releasing it like a catapult. The sound was immense and flocks of birds would sore up into the air and the young Thestrals would sore up to go after the songbirds.

The longer Harry spent here the more at ease he became in the forest. By the time the light was growing dim, Harry had completely forgotten that he was in the Forbidden Forest. A part of this was because he was laughing too hard watching Luna play tag with skeletal birds and listening to her splendidly over-the-top laugh.

When they got back to the great hall for dinner, Luna sat at the Gryffindor table between Harry and Angelica. Her own table wouldn't look at them.

Lee Jordan leaned over to tell Harry, "Flitwick gave every one student in his house detention who knew about Luna's stolen items. Nobody fessed up so he gave detention to every student in the fourth, fifth, and sixth years. They will be spending the rest of the weekend cleaning his classroom, Sprout's, McGonagall's, and _Snape's_ classroom."

"Good," Harry said shortly.

"I always wondered what Flitwick's detentions would be like," Fred mused.

"I am so glad we didn't have to find out first hand. Snape is awful but cleaning Sprout's classroom, as in every greenhouse would be the worst," George said.

"Hey, we've never gotten a detention from Sprout either!" Fred said jubilantly.

"There's still time," Susan said from behind them.

"Hey little Bones," George greeted.

"How are you?" Fred asked, putting his chin in his hands, elbows on the table.

"Fine. Can I sit here tonight?" she asked.

Angelica moved down a seat and Susan sat beside Luna, "How are you?"

"I'm good," Luna said honestly.

Susan's expression was hard, "Let me know if there is anyone you want me to hex. Never mess with a Hufflepuff's friend."

Luna stared at the darker haired girl, "You're my friend?"

"Course," she answered, "I wouldn't be angry if we weren't."

Luna's smile could have out shown the sun.

* * *

The trees stretched towards the pale sky like the silhouettes of hundreds of cloaked people with their fingers desperately seeking the light.

As if in despair those shadows folded downwards, incapable of even hoping for the rays of the sun, leaving Harry in the dimness of the forest like he had been that night he had gone searching for unicorns.

A silver light eliminated the space around him. Harry spun on his heels trying to make sense of where he was and the shadowed shapes darting between the trees.

"Dad!" he called, seeing the outline of a rack of antlers.

Harry began running, his feet bare against the cool ground, he was assaulted by the sensation of damp moss between his toes and the sharp pain of roots and fallen sticks cutting into his skin.

"Dad!" Harry called again.

The stag didn't slow but Harry was gaining on the buck's white tailed butt.

A doe cut in front of him and Harry tripped, falling over a downed log. His hand sank through a rotten trunk.

"Wait!" Harry yelled, yanking his arm out of the dead tree. "Wait! Dad! Snape! Wait don't leave me here!" He got up. Ignoring the pain, he ran blindly through the foliage, his cheeks scraping against branches he could not see until they were too close to avoid. Harry kept running and running until he heard a laugh.

Harry jerked to a stop, trying to hold his breath, as he could barely hear over his own gasping, his own pulse.

The laugh came again, followed by a happy bark.

"Sirius!" Harry called, desperate. "Sirius, I'm here!"

"But you're not with us."

Slowly, Harry turned to the voice, to the person he knew would be standing behind him.

She stood tall, a mere yard away from him. She was solid, _real._ Her hair color turning the rising moonlight to the glimmer of some exotic orange jewel. She smiled at him, her face full of love and acceptance.

"Come, my son," Lily offered, her pale hand held out to him. In three simple words, she offered him the promise of respite, of forgiveness, of peace, of belonging.

He took a step towards her, reaching out his own hand to hers. But that one step shifted the world around him.

The Stag and the Doe who had been circling them in Harry's peripheral vision disappeared, the absence of their silver spheres of light making Harry realize for the first time that they had been patronuses not animagi, like he had originally assumed.

The woman standing before him changed as well, her emerald eyes flashing a demonic red, her smile growing cold and dangerous.

" _Bow to Death, Harry."_ It was his mother's voice but not her words. Her proffered hand was no longer empty, the Resurrection Stone sat inertly in her palm.

The trees around them blackened, morphed and the icy chill that filled the air alerted Harry to what was about to happen. Dementors, hundreds, thousands of Dementors emerged from the void around them.

Lily began screaming. The scream that she had done at the end, right before-

"NO!" Harry screamed, louder than he had ever said anything.

White.

The black was replaced with misty white.

Harry fell to his knees.

Voldemort's laughter echoing in his mind.

 _Bow to Death._

Harry stood to his feet again with a roar, and observed himself yell, _"I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"_

Dumbledore was standing before him, wearing a serene, condescending smile. His eyes twinkling as if he knew the secrets of the universe. _"You do care," said Dumbledore. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."_

Harry screamed at the old man, wordless and rage filled. He didn't know what he was holding in his hand but it was smooth, and cold, and hard. Harry pitched the orb, the Prophecy at the old man's head. It shattered against his chest.

Dumbledore's breath went out of him in a soft exhalation, his sparkling blue eyes dimming, no light shown from them at all. He fell backwards, and between one heart beat and the next it wasn't Albus Dumbledore it was Sirius falling backwards into the veil, a laugh caught on his smiling lips.

* * *

Harry came to screaming. His nightmare so vivid, so achingly real, he couldn't forget, would never forget the images replaying in his mind.

Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville were awake and out of bed as they watched in stunned silence as Harry fought with his comforter to get out of bed.

"Harry?" Neville questioned cautiously.

Harry didn't hear Neville as he finally got himself untangled. He stood in the center of room panting and sweating.

"Did you have a vision?" Ron asked.

Harry's body began to shake uncontrollably.

"I'll go get help," Dean offered.

 _Help,_ Harry thought numbly as his body started going into shock. _Yeah, help might be a good idea._

Dean ran for the door when Harry continued to say nothing.

Harry's legs felt wobbly but he refused to let himself fall to the ground.

 _Help,_ Harry thought, _Help, please, please help, I don't want to die._ He still felt trapped in his nightmare.

He needed to get out of this castle. He needed to get as far away from the Forbidden forest as was physically possible, he- he needed to see Sirius. He needed to see the man alive and breathing so he didn't have to keep reliving the image of his godfather falling into the veil, to a realm forever out of reach.

 _But Sirius isn't dead,_ Harry told himself, trying to get a hold of himself and his breathing, _he isn't dead. I haven't failed this time. I will not fail this time._

The mirror. The broken, stupid shard of mirror that Harry had forgotten about the first time in his trunk, the one Aberforth had heard the plea for help through once. Only this time around Harry had never received the mirror shard from Sirius.

There had to be something, some way to get to Grimmauld Place. If he went to the forest he could get a ride from one of the Thestrals or even a Hippogryph. Harry was sure he could befriend one of them who wasn't Buckbeak. Bowing to large mythical horse/bird creatures was not something Harry had any issues with.

But that would require going back to the Forbidden Forest and Harry shuddered at the thought, nearly falling over with the violence of the movement.

Then he realized he wouldn't have to go that far. If he got off the Hogwarts grounds he could apparate himself to London. He might be fifteen in body, but so far Harry hadn't forgotten or lost any of his magical skills as an eighteen-year-old spirit. Sure, it was illegal, but when had that ever stopped him before? The trace wouldn't be a problem as long as he didn't directly apparate to Grimmauld Place. Harry wouldn't mind sprinting a few blocks.

"Harry!" Ron yelled.

And this time Harry did fall over, his body still weak with tremors.

"Sorry," he muttered, "But you didn't hear us talking to you."

He bent over Harry and offered him a hand up to stand.

"No," Harry said, as evenly as he could, getting to his feet on his own.

 _I need to get out of here_.

Inspiration struck like a bolt of lightning, as the door to their room opened.

"Kreacher," Harry whispered aloud.

 _Pop._

"Master calls for Kreacher," the little elf greeted.

"Harry-" Minerva warned as she stepped into the room.

"Take me to Sirius," Harry ordered.

"Harry wait-" Minerva called, eyes wide, but she was too late.

"Yes, Master Potter," Kreacher said.

 _Pop._

* * *

Harry landed on Sirius, who had been asleep in bed.

The older wizard woke with an exclamation and began a long -rather creative, litany of swearing until he realized who'd been dropped on him.

"Harry?" he asked, confused.

"Hi, Padfoot. I'd have called first but you don't have a phone," Harry babbled.

Sirius hugged him and Harry clung to his godfather in return.

* * *

AN: Well, Ladies, Gents, Nargles, etc. that is about as dark as I plan to get for fanfiction. And (because I am pretty sure I will get this comment) you weren't supposed to be sure it was a nightmare at first.

Thoughts? Reactions? Please?


	13. When You Die

AN: Bonjour Mili, I know enough French to read your review (no need to translate) :D Merci Beaucoup!

And thank you to all of my other reviewers as well, you help me through the day.

SideNote: While writing this I realized how much I loved the Marauder Age and Sirius. So I started another story where Sirius is the main character and he becomes Voldemort's obsession. Sirius has to grow up fast and get his family's support if he expects to evert a war or winding up dead. No Harry in this one but I'm having fun with an AU world rather than a time travel story.

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Cannon Quote that broke me:

" _I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to."_

-Sirius Black.

Chapter 13 - When You Die

While Harry was taking a shower, Sirius made hot chocolate. Rich, extra bar of chocolate hot chocolate, which Harry was hunched around.

"What's been happening, Harry?" Sirius asked.

Briefly, Harry thought of hiding, of starting with the dream but there was no way to explain the dream without the whole story.

Harry took a deep breath, "Sirius, what do you think happens to you when you die?"

Sirius blinked, "I'm - I don't know, but I would like to think we join our loved ones."

"I didn't," Harry said hollowly. "Not when Voldemort struck me with the killing curse the first time and not the second either."

Sirius frowned, "You're going to have to give me more than that. Are you saying you remember the night Voldemort was defeated?"

Harry sighed, "I have had dreams about that night my entire life. I got the memory starting from my father telling Lily to run and ending with her dying for me when I was first attacked by a Dementor in the third year on the train. I had my first occlumency lesson with Snape last week and that's when I remembered what happened Mum died. I skipped this week's lesson."

"You remembered being hit by the killing curse?"

"I remember dying and coming back to life and that space in between."

"What do you remember?"

"White mist. Sitting on the couch downstairs with my parents. James told me to live and Lily told me she loved me. I remember coming back and pain. It hurt so much I don't know what to compare it too. It was so painful that it almost wasn't a physical sensation. The pain in my scar was secondary."

Sirius's face was calm but his eyes were shiny with suppressed emotions. "This happened to you twice?"

"The second time it was Dumbledore who greeted me in the white mist and then I woke up three years in the past."

Sirius blinked, repeatedly, "You time traveled?"

"The day of the final task. I thought I was hallucinating. If I hadn't maybe I would have caught Wormtail."

"You time traveled?" Sirius said again.

"Yep."

There was a long pause, "So you're what seventeen years old?"

"Eighteen," Harry corrected, "It was almost three years to the day, so my birthday hasn't notably changed."

Harry watched Sirius's eyes flick back in forth in thought before they resettled on him.

"Do you want me to tell you what I've gone through since coming back in time or my original timeline?" Harry asked.

"It's your original timeline that has been bothering you," Sirius guessed.

Harry gripped his mug a little tighter, "Yeah."

"Then start where the two lines split."

And Harry did. Harry detailed Cedric's death, the ceremony that brought No-Nose back to full strength. The nightmares, the pain in his scar, the newspapers, Umbridge setting Dementors on him, Dumbledore's distance, the Occlumency lessons, Snape's memories, the forgotten mirror shard, the Death Eaters breaking out of prison, Nagini attacking Mr. Weasley, the trap Voldemort set, the DADA, the battle at the Ministry of Magic, Sirius dying.

"It was my fault."

"It was not your fault," Sirius said firmly. "Damn Bellatrix. I got cocky and failed you. That most certainly is not your fault."

"But there was a million things I could have done, Sirius."

"Harry, unless you personally take a rock and smash my skull in, my death will never be your fault. Even if you killed me, you would probably be justified."

"You didn't deserve to die," Harry stressed.

"I'm the reason your parents were murdered. The reason you were raised by the Dursleys."

"No, it wasn't. If Trelawney had made the stupid prophecy, if Snape hadn't overheard, if Pettigrew wasn't an evil bastard, if- If a million things. It isn't your fault James and Lily died."

"Alright," Sirius said easily.

It was Harry's turn to blink in surprised confusion, "Just like that?"

"I'll make you a deal. I will never say out loud and I will attempt not to think that I am the reason my best friend and his wife died and his son was left on his own _if_ you accept that by the same reasoning you just gave me that my death was not and will never be your fault."

Harry's lips made a tight line, "And what we chant it enough times and we start to believe it?"

"Stranger things have happened," Sirius pointed out.

Harry sighed and continued with his story, proving that indeed, stranger things had happened. For instance, Dumbledore taking Harry Horcrux hunting and Snape.

"Snape killed Dumbledore?" Sirius breathed, shocked.

"Dumbledore was already dying. He strong armed Snape into shortening it. Snape saved Draco Malfoy from becoming a murderer."

Sirius nodded, "He's a cranky bastard but he didn't turn out all bad. Not that I can say I helped him be a better person at all."

Harry snorted, "I think it's safe to say Snape wasn't sad to see you go."

"And this all would have happened next year?"

"Yep."

"How are you going to keep this from Snape during your Occlumency lessons?"

"I have no idea and aside from Flitwick, you are the only person to know I'm from the future."

"You really haven't said anything to Ron or Hermione?"

"How can I!?" Harry exploded, gesturing with his hands. "What am I supposed to tell them? 'Hey best friends I am a time traveler and we went through hell together but I can't explain because you wouldn't understand.'"

"Who's to say they wouldn't understand?" Sirius questioned.

"Sirius we lived in a tent for months. People were being killed and tortured right and left. We were on the most wanted list. Hermione erases her parents' memories of herself and shipped them to Australia. I don't want her to have to think of that. I don't ever want her to be put in a position where that would ever occur to her or for that to be necessary.

"We got captured at one point and Bellatrix, the bitch who tortured Neville's parents into insanity, personally tortured her. She carved 'mudblood' into Hermione's arm with a cursed blade. I don't want her to know that. I don't want to see her face when her faith in the concept of laws and right and wrong are destroyed. Even if I did tell her it would just be giving her pain for no reason because she will never be the person who lived those things through with. I miss that person but I would give almost anything to ensure she never has to live through that again, that she never has to become that person.

"Ron deserted us because of that stupid locket. He came back but we… all of us were so close to breaking."

"Harry-"

"We robbed Gringotts together."

"You robbed Gringotts? Like successfully?"

Harry nodded, "Yep. It was Bellatrix's vault actually. We rode out of the bank on the dragon they keep down there."

"Cool," Sirius enthused.

"Yeah, a lot of fun. Being Undesirable Number One, impersonating Death Eaters, making deals with outcaste goblins and using the Imperio on others. Yeah, it was a ton of fun, breaking ethical laws and being constantly on the brink of death," Harry said acidly.

"I'm sorry, Harry, this is just a lot to take in."

"The lengths we went to… I still wonder. I have done a lot of bad things, Sirius."

"You were in a war, Harry, sometimes the right thing to do isn't the ethical thing to do."

"I'm sure that's what the Death Eaters tell themselves," Harry said, shoulders slumping.

"A lot of good people die in war because they did nothing. An ethical death is still dead."

"The final battle was fought on the Hogwarts' grounds after a year of students being tortured and torturing one another. A lot of kids died, Sirius. Whatever we did wasn't enough."

"Harry…"

"I've been thinking it over for months and it all seems so silly. Everything we did was so small in the face of it. Dumbledore and Voldemort playing chess with our lives. Years of being told that I was only a child and should let the adults take care of it, then two years of everyone depending on me. Two years of sorrow and mayhem and we were too late to save _anyone_. Too late to help _anyone!_ I am just one person and I was only important because the Dark Lord and Dumbledore were obsessed me. But really, I was just such a small voice in the greater horror of it all."

"Harry, you have done more than anyone should have ever asked of you. Voldemort is a madman, his actions are inexcusable. Dumbledore is almost equally wrong on putting that burden on you."

"Yet if I hadn't been around, Voldemort would have come back."

"If it wasn't for you he would have won the first war. Had Lily never had you, she may have never found a way to fight him off."

"So you don't think I was a supernatural baby."

"Harry, you were a beautiful, beloved child of two of the very bravest people who did their best to care for you in a war."

"I wish they hadn't died for me."

"They and I would have died a thousand times over to see you safe."

"You're not aware then." Harry's voice taking on a dark undertone that frightened Sirius. "You weren't aware that Dumbledore was grooming me to be a martyr?"

Sirius's blood went cold, "Explain."

"You've heard of the Deathly Hallows?"

"The children's story?"

"My dad's cloak is the invisibility cloak."

Sirius eyes widened, "Impossible."

"I tell you I'm a time traveler and the Hallows is where you draw the line?"

Sirius expression turned sheepish, "Sorry, you're right. I believe you, it's just that is a very old children's book. I sure hope Rabbity-Rabbity isn't real." His humor was forced and fell flat.

"Dumbledore's wand is the Death Stick and the ring that was killing him, the stone was the Researchition Stone."

Sirius shook his head, "All three."

"Snape died because of the Elder Wand. Voldemort set Nagini on him."

"Did he know he was the traitor."

"Nope, Voldemort thought he was loyal until the last. Snape died in my arms and the last things he did was give me his memories."

"You don't have to tell me this part."

"I need to tell you, I think. I haven't told Flitwick but he doesn't hate the man like you and I do."

Sirius sighed, "You are going to tell me why Dumbledore trusted the old bat, aren't you?"

Harry smiled sadly at his godfather.

"He loved her," Sirius said after Harry told him what he had seen in Snape's memories.

"He saved my life over and over again for her. He taught school children which he hates, and played spy and Dumbledore's lap dog and died for love of her."

"That doesn't exactly excuse him for the things he's done," Sirius remarked.

Harry shrugged, "He was set up to fail."

Sirius's felt vastly overwhelmed at this point, they had been talking for hours and so it was a slow dawning horror that he was able to piece the puzzle together. "Did- did Dumbledore ask you to sacrifice yourself to Voldemort?"

Harry nodded, "I didn't say goodbye to Ron and Hermione."

"No, Harry, no," Sirius moaned, "Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't give up the fight."

"I never even raised my wand."

"Why would you do that? What did you think it would accomplish?"

" _Neither can live while-_ "

"Damn the prophecy!" Sirius shouted, standing up. "What made you think dying would do anyone any good!?"

"There was a piece of Voldemort's soul anchored inside me."

"And did you try anything else!? Harry, the Dark Arts are not one solution solves all. There are so many things you could have tried before allowing someone to _kill you!_ " Sirius didn't mean to shout, but he couldn't suppress his fear, his sorrow for what his godson had gone through. It broke his heart to think that his Harry, that James and Lily's son would think -even for a moment, that he was worth more dead than alive.

"Dumbledore gave me the Resurrection Stone and you and mum and dad and Lupin were there. Dad and Mum were proud of me, Remus was sorry for orphaning his son- my godson by the way and I think I did a worse job than you did, and you, you said-"

"What did I say, Harry? What did the shade who stole my appearance say?"

Harry shut his eyes unable to face Sirius as he repeated the words that had given him the courage to sacrifice it all -sacrifice himself. "I asked if it would hurt, if would hurt to die and you said-" He had to swallow before finishing, "You said it was _quicker and easier than falling asleep."_

Sirius went to Harry's seat, knelt by his chair and took a hold of both his hands. "You listen to me, my son, your parents and I love you. We would _never_ wish you harm, _never_ wish you dead."

"My death could have saved a lot of people."

"Bullshit," Sirius snapped, squeezing Harry's hands tighter. "I don't care what you saw with that cursed stone, I would never have encouraged you to die. I would have told you to rage, I would have told you to run and fight another day. I would have told you that your time hadn't come yet, that your time would never come until you had exhausted all other options and even then I would have told you to fight.

"There are things worth dying for, things worth sacrificing, but offering your life up to a madman for an empty promise..."

Harry shook his head and tried to pull his hands out of Sirius's grip but Sirius held on.

"You know that, don't you?" Sirius asked his eyes kind, his words demanding.

"Sirius don't-"

"Say it, Harry."

"Dumbledore-"

"Albus Dumbledore was wrong."

"Sirius please-"

"Say it out loud, Harry. You need to hear yourself say it."

Harry couldn't stop the tears that trailed down his face. "I thought it was the only option. There were so many, too many who had died. I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted it to end."

"Did you want to die?" Sirius asked gently.

"No, no, I was terrified but I thought, I thought-" Harry stuttered.

"It's okay, Harry, It's okay," Sirius soothed.

Harry choked on a sob. "I thought it would make- that I would make a difference. I thought my death would give everyone else a chance to live and I was willing to die for them. I was just one person I didn't matter."

"Yes you do, Harry, yes you do. You will always matter. There is no life that is equitable to another's. Your parents died fighting for you but they would have been fighting if they hadn't had you. Your mother died for you because she couldn't have lived in a world without. She couldn't have been Lily, your mother if she had stepped aside to let you be murdered before her eyes."

"I died because- I died because I loved them all, everyone at this school, I died so they could have a chance too."

"You believed that by dying that your single death would have stopped Voldemort," Sirius repeated back to him.

Both reasonings were sound. Dying for the greater good, dying so others might have a chance, versus that by dying Harry hadn't stopped Voldemort in the slightest. If Voldemort lived and Harry was dead than Voldemort would have kept killing.

Harry hadn't killed Nagini and Dumbledore was dead, who was there that could have withstood the Dark Lord?

Hermione? But Hermione, as brilliant as she was no more a match for Voldemort than Harry had been, and she wouldn't have had brother wands.

"I died for nothing," Harry said brokenly.

"No, Harry, you died because every person that should have stood up for you, every person that should have been there for you made you feel that you had no worth. I loved you and I failed you. You loved Dumbledore and he not only died on you but told you to die for everyone else. And at your weakest, at your most courageous you were given a weapon that made you believe that the people who had loved you most in this world wanted you dead."

Harry shattered, he slid off his chair into Sirius's embrace and fell apart. He cried and lost any sense of composure. He had tried so hard, he had done everything asked of him and in the end thrown away his life. The life his parents had given him, the one Sirius had died fighting to protect.

Harry buried his face into Sirius robes and sobbed, giving voice to the fear and the pain and the grief that had been eating away at his soul.

Sirius rubbed his back, murmuring words of comfort and after an endless space of time, Harry finally heard the words Sirius was saying, "You're not too late. We're alive, Harry, we're alive."

Harry closed his eyes and clung to that thought. The thought that they were alive and where there was life there was hope.

* * *

Harry awoke the next morning in a bed, after finding his glasses on the bedside table he recognized the room as Regulus's. Harry had no idea how he had gotten here. He looked around and though Grimmauld Place was cleaner in this timeline, this room was still the most pristine.

Sirius was awake, staring out the small window, lost in thought.

"Your little brother died fighting by the way," Harry croaked.

"Hmmm?" Sirius asked, his blue-grey eyes had darkened to a deep charcoal grey.

"Slytherin's Locket, Regulus found out what it was and died getting it to Kreacher."

Sirius was quiet, gaze going distant again, "Where are the Horcruxes now?

"When I came back in time I destroyed them. All of them. The one in my scar didn't survive the trip through time continuums," Harry said, gratefully taking the glass of water that had appeared at his bedside.

"Even the one in Gringotts?"

"Dobby got that one."

"The house-elf?" Sirius grinned, "Oh I would love to tell my dear cousin that."

"Sirius?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Are you mad at me for getting myself killed?"

A beat.

"Yes, I am angry, I think I will always be angry that you felt that was your only option, but I understand why you did it."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Only if you promise to never do it again," Sirius said, coming to sit on the bed.

"I promise."

"Then you are forgiven."

There was an awkward silence.

Harry asked, "Do you forgive yourself?"

Sirius took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let it go. "It doesn't help us, to live in the past."

"Doesn't mean we can escape it."

"We have to learn to live, you and I. We have to learn to move forward. This life, well, you gave us a chance didn't you?"

Harry shook his head, "I don't know what you mean?"

"Voldemort is on the run. You destroyed all his soul fragments. You gave us a second chance. Let's not waste it."

"So where do we go from here?" Harry asked.

"Well, I think you need a day, well probably a year off, but I think I can steal you for a few days without causing too much trouble."

Harry felt his insides warm. "What do you have in mind?"

"Have you ever been to France?"

Harry shook his head, "Only the camping in the woods."

"Well we need breakfast and they have the best food, well where the people are anyway. Plus, I bet it's sunny there."

"But you're-"

Sirius held up a finger and pulled out his wand. A few flicks and the dark haired, mustached man in front of him was now blonde, tanned, clean shaven, and had turquoise blue eyes. He pulled out a hair tie and put his hair back in a ponytail.

"Transfiguration was always my best subject," Sirius wagging his pale eyebrows, "What do you think?"

Harry stared, "Why did you never do that before?"

"Because there are ways, rather simple ways to break these enchantments. But if we stick to muggle France it shouldn't be a problem."

Harry grinned. Yeah, he had been through some shit. But Sirius was absolutely right. They were alive and there was nothing stopping them from taking this second chance at a better present.

* * *

AN: That was the damned hardest chapter to write. The last three books do not sum up simply and I think I down played the trauma because the more you analyze it…. Well, I plan to cut back on the angst from this point onwards. Harry will still be dealing with this as well Sirius but not so internalized that Harry thinks his life doesn't have value.

The whole Lily died for Harry and Harry died for the greater good is really hard to explain how fundamentally wrong it is for the individuals involved. I don't know how well I reasoned it through but I think the key is that no parent wants their child to die, no matter the cause.

Please let me know what you would like to see in future chapters and how this chapter read. It was painful to write.


	14. The Greater Good

AN: Thank you, reviewers! In penance for the emotional trauma, I give you a chapter with change.

My Muse (She was affronted that Luna was considered the crazier one):

You are the cliff I break upon. I invite you to a place from which you hold yourself apart.

I am the wave, and the ocean is the world. And though I may be subject to the moon, I am no subject of Time.

For I am that breath between. I have always been and will always be.

* * *

Chapter 14 - The Greater Good (as Approved by Fawkes the Phoenix)

 _The teachers and students are very upset. Harry went away for a time. They say he's with his godfather. They are being silly._

 _I know Sirius is innocent because of the article Father published in the beginning the school year._

 _I hope Harry feels better. I think he was falling so far that he was no longer afraid of the ground._

 _L.L._

* * *

Harry's heart was racing. His hands sweating on the bars holding him down. Sirius was equally restrained beside him. The roaring sounds around them were massive and Harry couldn't place their origin.

They were plunged into darkness. Harry screamed.

Sirius whooped.

A tub sized bucket of water was dropped over their heads.

Harry was spluttering and laughing as Sirius barked. They continued laughing as the waterpark rollercoaster cranked itself back to the start.

The moment they got off Sirius bent forward and shook out his mop of blonde hair at Harry.

"No!" Harry cried, laughing so hard he was on the brink of tears. He ran from his godfather strategically so when the man caught up to him Harry shoved him into a giant swimming pool.

Sirius emerged choking on his own laughter.

Harry knelt by the edge. "Can we get lunch now?"

Sirius grinned, "Asks the boy who never asks for food."

"The last restaurant you took me too had fifteen flavors of chocolate."

"Black-raspberry being the best," Sirius remarked.

"I liked the dark chocolate with cherry."

" _Black_ cherries," Sirius enthused.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Are you ever going to get tired of name puns?"

In answer, Sirius pulled his godson into the pool.

Harry came up for air and immediately tried to drown Sirius.

They lost Harry's glasses and were forced to spend an hour taking turns diving to the bottom of the pool to find them. Sirius had -after apparating them to France and changing Harry's appearance to look like the blonde blue eyed son of Sirius's disguise, decreed it would be best not to use magic that week unless absolutely necessary.

They went out to eat after departing the waterpark and ate outside, out looking the Mediterranean Sea. Harry, was wearing shorts and a T-shirt had angled his chair so he was facing the sun and out from under the shade of the umbrella. The sun felt blessedly warm on his skin, he felt as though the warmth was filling up his very bones.

Sirius watched Harry with a sad smile as his godson grinned carelessly, eyes closed up at the sun. This week had been one of the greatest in Sirius's entire existence and it broke his heart that he had missed fourteen years (or was it seventeen years?) with Harry. Had Lily and James lived, Sirius still would have been a part of Harry's life. They had always been meant to be family. Sirius couldn't help but mourn the time lost.

"Sirius?" Harry asked, not opening his eyes.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. For this week. For listening to me, for being there, for being alive."

Sirius's heart ached, he should have done so much better, but self-deprecation was not what Harry needed from him in this moment. "It's my pleasure, Harry. This week has been the best."

Harry looked up with a grin, "This is the first vacation I've ever been on."

It took a lot for Sirius not to scowl at the thought.

The food came and Harry was able to thank the waiter in French.

Sirius sniggered.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Your accent is terrible."

"I'd like to see you do any better."

Sirius ordered their food in fluent French.

Harry pouted, "Why haven't you been doing that the whole time we've been here? I knew you could read but you argued with that one lady for nearly an hour about directions in English because you pretended not to understand by 'la gauche' she meant left."

"Don't be so gauche," Sirius teased, taking on an America Hollywood actress accent. They had been watching a lot movies in hotels at night when they were too tired to walk the streets any longer but not ready to give up the other's company for sleep.

"Sirius..." Harry chided.

"Because if you speak French in France people are going to talk to you in French, meaning ninety percent of everything anyone said to us was going to go over your head. I could teach you though. If you like?"

"Who taught you French?"

"My dad."

"Not your mum?"

Sirius snorted, "My mother wasn't a good teacher. She had no patience."

"Did you like your dad?"

Sirius shrugged. "He was a quiet man. When I was very young I wanted to be just like him."

"What changed your mind?"

"Politics, parties, anything in the outside world really. The Black family was always very close knit and even marrying into the family wasn't the same as those born with the name."

"Did you ever get along with Bellatrix?"

Sirius grinned, "Playing hide and go seek with the Black Sisters in Grimmauld Place…" He shook his head. "If we could have all stayed children, stayed in that world where the dark arts was a just cool pet beastie and nobody died and it never mattered how weird or mean we were because the outside world didn't exist. If we could have stayed in that bubble it would have been good, or at least not an awful fate. But we didn't live in a bubble and I saw that the actions of my family, that the words we said and the steps we took caused damage wherever we went. It wasn't something I wanted any part of. Though as you know, I wasn't a saint in Gryffindor, yet I didn't bow to a Dark Lord. That is one mistake I never made."

"Do you think they could have been better people if they, er... grew up with morals?"

Sirius grinned, "Anything's possible I suppose. Though Bella would have needed more help than the wizarding world could have ever provided. St. Mungo's doesn't really deal with mental health much."

"The Longbottoms are there."

"Yes, well, they don't have the means to take care of themselves and my dear cousin was more than capable of the basics."

Harry let the topic drop when their food arrived. He hummed with approval.

Sirius hid his grin as a look of pure euphoria took over his godson's face.

"How is this so much better than Hogwarts food?"

"It's French."

Harry grinned, "I think I could stay here forever."

"We could if you truly wanted to. After hearing what you've been through, I seriously regret not kidnapping you in your third year."

"Do you think Dumbledore managed to cover up my absence or do you think everyone is panicking?"

"I take that as you don't want to run away," Sirius remarked.

"I want to finish school. I didn't get to the first time around. I've been having more fun this year than I have since first year."

"I can understand that, but we don't have to live in Northern Europe. I am obscenely rich and when you do come of age you'll be obscenely rich too. We can live anywhere we want."

"Except you're still on the run."

"Aurors don't cross country borders," Sirius said, "It's why finding Voldemort has been such an issue, why it was such an issue last time he rose to power. Bad guys don't have to follow laws, international or otherwise. That's part of why the Order was formed."

"So why has running been so difficult for you?"

"Because I always stayed close enough to be there for you if there were an emergency. Taking you would have caused a bit more problems as kidnaping underaged wizards is something that would allow aurors to cross the borders, without a political nightmare."

"I thought I was the political nightmare," Harry quipped.

Sirius grinned, "I bet they're panicking. Boy-Who-Lived Goes Missing Right Out From Dumbledore's Nose. That is a paper seller."

"Can I tell them you kidnapped me and took me on vacation to beaches and fancy restaurants and amusement parks? I want to see their faces."

Sirius barked his approval, "Sure at this point kidnapping is pretty low on my supposed crimes."

* * *

They went back to the inn they had been staying at, packing up the souvenirs, and disapparated back to Grimmauld Place.

Harry said goodbye to Buckbeak before, rather unenthusiastically following Sirius to the fireplace. They would be flooing back to Hogwarts.

"Sirius?" Harry said, stopping halfway to the fireplace. His godfather was already looking a bit depressed.

He looked up, his eyes dark with emotions.

"I love you," Harry said.

Sirius stepped forward and wrapped Harry in a tight hug. "I love you too, Harry."

Harry made to pull back but Sirius held on a bit tighter. He whispered, "Give me something that happened to you before your fifth year that I can be mad at Albus for. I don't think I can hide how angry I am."

"The Dursleys kept me in a cupboard under the stairs until my Hogwarts letter came."

Sirius nearly crushed Harry in an embrace.

"Sirius-need-air-" Harry said breathlessly.

Sirius let go.

"I can get there on my own," Harry offered.

But his godfather just shook his head, taking Harry's luggage and shrank it, before handing it back to Harry. "No, I think it's time I claim my parental rights."

* * *

"Where would the mutt have taken him?" Severus asked.

"Harry's fine," Minerva said, though she didn't sound completely convinced.

Albus tapped his fingers on his desk, "He needs to be back here, it isn't safe for him-"

Filius interrupted, "Harry needed some time off. He should be back soon, I can't see him missing more than a week of school."

"And how can you be so sure?" Severus asked.

"Harry trusts Sirius, so I trust Sirius."

Pomona gave Filius a scandalized look.

The Heads of House were in Albus's office discussing the current drama that had thrown the _entire_ school into a frenzy. Even a number of Slytherins were visibly disturbed by Harry's supposed kidnapping by a known Death Eater. Many were starting to think the Boy Who Lived was dead. Pomona the only one out of the five who didn't know Sirius was innocent. She was slowly spiraling into a rage as her co-workers calmly discussed Mr. Potter's whereabouts.

"This is madness!" Pomona exclaimed, the dam bursting, "He is a Death Eater!"

"It was Pettigrew, Pomona," Filius said gently, "It was Peter Pettigrew who betrayed the Potters, that murdered all those people, who cut off his own finger, and framed Mr. Black to take the fall."

"But- he was in prison-"

"Without trial."

"Oh," she said softly, slumping into her seat.

"The boy is still in trouble," Severus said, "Black isn't safe to keep around children-"

Albus's fireplace flashed bright green and Harry stepped through first, followed closely by Trouble himself.

"Hello Professors," Sirius greeted warmly.

Harry smiled and waved. Everyone noticed immediately how genuine that smile was, how it reached his eyes. They noted how bright those emerald eyes were and how tanned his skin was and how he seemed to glow with an inner contentment that they had only ever seen glimpses of.

Albus stood to walk around the table as he demanded, "Where have you been?"

Sirius smile widened and he cheerfully greeted the Headmaster, "Albus!" He walked forward as if he would embrace the older man. But Harry saw the fighting stance two heartbeats before Sirius's fist met the side of Dumbledore's face.

The old man dropped to floor with a surprised grunt. The wind was knocked out of him, his glasses shattering on the stones.

Harry was pulling Sirius back, trying to guard his godfather against the three wands trailed on him. Filius had his wand out but it was not pointed at Sirius.

Sirius was shouting, "You _son of a bitch!_ You stay the away from godson! You understand me, old man? You stay the hell away from _my son!_ "

"Sirius, calm down," Harry pleaded.

"Sirius, what's wrong with you?" Minerva asked.

"I thought you said he was safe?" Pomona questioned, voice unsteady, though her wand was held steady. She didn't dare loose a spell, none of them did, Harry was wrapped around the enraged man, even his power began to fill the room.

"Did you hear me, Albus!?" Sirius roared, " _Stay away from Harry_."

"He's the only thing keeping the idiot alive, you moron," Severus raising his voice, his expression contorted into a snarl.

Sirius turned on his old school rival. "Did you love her?"

Severus sneered, "What are you babbling about, mongrel?"

"Lily Evans," Sirius explained, pressing against Harry's grip but not breaking it, not striking out. "Did you love her?"

"What does Lily have to do with any of this?" Severus snarled.

"You were neighbors, she told us that, you must have known her sister."

"I knew Petunia, what of it?"

"She kept Lily's son in a cupboard for ten years. Ten years she tormented him and starved him."

Severus said nothing, though his onyx eyes were a bit wider and he gazed at Harry with an unreadable expression.

Sirius turned his attention back to Albus, who had gotten stiffly to his feet, his spectacles, fixed and resting properly on his nose. The corner of his mouth was leaking blood. The red making a dramatic contrast on his beard.

"Harry will not be returning to the Dursley's. From this summer onwards, Harry will always have a home with me."

Albus's smile was gentle, but the usual sparkle in the man's eyes was gone. "Harry will retur-"

"He will not," this time it was Filius who spoke. "They are unfit guardians, keeping someone alive, barely, is not the same thing as care, as having a family. Harry will not return there. He was courageous enough to ask for outside help. What message does it send if those students who ask for help don't receive it? Do you know how many students I've had over the years who I could not help because I did not have enough information to act on?"

"Harry is a special case," Albus said.

"He's my son," Sirius growled, "He isn't a case, he's a person and he will not return to people who would do him harm."

"I told you," Minerva said, lowering her wand, both Pomona and Severus following her lead. "Didn't I tell you, Albus? That they were the worst sort of muggles? That they would hate him for what he was? You told me you had checked up on him. You lied to me."

"I didn't lie. I stationed someone there permanently to keep an eye on him," Albus defended himself.

"Yeah," Harry said, taking part in the conversation for the first time. "The cat lady who happened to be squib who never told me a damned thing was really useful. Especially, as you should know, she was never allowed into the Dursleys house. She didn't see anything because on the outside there was nothing to see."

The Four Heads of House and Sirius turned their rather unfriendly expressions to the Headmaster.

"The blood wards-"

"My house is safer than those wards, as the Dementors so kindly illustrated this summer," Sirius argued.

Albus smiled at Sirius, "And yet you are not a free man. What would happen if someone let it slip where you were-" his eyes flicked briefly to Harry with his summer tan at the end of a Scotland autumn, "-on vacation?"

The elevation in the room seemed to drop as if they had all descended into a deep valley after living on top of a mountain for years. The air was harder to breathe, their muscles taking on the extra weight.

But the magical pressure wasn't coming from Sirius, no it was Harry Potter whose wand was pointed at Albus's heart. It Harry who stepped forward, Sirius a step behind him.

"Don't. You. Dare. Threaten. _My family_ ," Harry ground out, each word low and precise.

"You are a child," Albus snapped, "You don't understand-"

"You don't get to call me that," Harry told him evenly. "Not after what you've done. Not after what you planned to do to me. You don't get to treat me like I am some innocent child when your only reason for keeping me alive is so I can die when you arrange it."

"I don't want you to die, my boy," Albus said serenely.

Harry's hand tightened on his wand, how he wanted to believe that. Even now, Harry still wanted to believe that he had meant more to Albus Dumbledore than an expendable piece in a master plan.

"Enough of this, Harry," Albus said soothingly, in that voice that could talk almost anyone into almost anything. "We can talk about your future- _Put down your wand, Harry,"_ Albus commanded when Harry's wand remained raised.

"You don't get to decide my future. You don't get to keep making choices for me," Harry said his heart breaking. He had loved this man, watched him die, and died for him. But Harry wasn't going to waste his second chance. Voldemort was all but destroyed. A wasted husk with only Wormtail to aid him. There were no more Horcruxes, no more quests. Just the aftermath of too much grief and too much regret.

This is when Albus made his biggest mistake, the mistake that would break any bridge between the Greatest Wizard of the Age and the Greatest Wizard of the Age to Come.

The Four Heads of House and Sirius watched as the quickest, most vicious non-lethal duel was fought and won before they could even think to raise their own power.

Albus raised his wand at Harry to disarm the boy.

Harry, the eighteen year old man who had been fighting for his life for years, who had seen war, struck back with all the instinct and grace of a wildcat.

Harry's shield charm was followed by a hex, which Albus reflected only to have to step back as another brutal spell ripped through his desk. Little devices and glass instruments clattering to the floor. The desk was now a half solid table and half splintered mass of oak and papers.

Albus's stunners were absorbed by Harry's shields as the younger man took a step forward, Albus's wand torn from his grasp.

The Elder Wand landed in Harry's hand with a rush of power and gold and silver sparks. Death recognizing its own.

The room was plunged into a vat of pungent shock. The wand-thing was neat, though only half the room understood the significance. However, the shock came from Harry being able to disarm Albus Fricking Dumbledore.

Even Harry seemed stunned. He had always known DADA was his best subject, but if he could take Dumbledore in a fight, even a non-lethal one, was it possible- was it even remotely possible that he could have faced Voldemort in a duel and come out on top?

Harry wasn't a genius like Albus or Tom, but he wasn't stupid either and even Hermione had once said he was better, or at least stronger than her at casting spells. He didn't have her fine touch but-

"That's not possible," Albus said into the silence of the room.

Harry refocused, the Death Stick in one hand, his Holly Wand in the other, both pointed at the man who had cut him off from all who would have helped him through the travesty that was his life.

Harry sheathed his Holly Wand in the arm sheath he had bought for himself. He ran a finger up to the tip of the Elder Wand. This wand that had been used to kill him the second time, in more ways than one.

He gripped the stick in both hands and snapped it. A burst of liquid gold seeped out before it exploded into a mist of golden sparkles that pushed everyone -but Harry, back a step.

"No!" Albus cried, empty hand reaching out.

The Four Heads of House had no idea what the correct course of action was to this situation. For Minerva, Pomona, and Severus they knew that more had just happened here than what lay on the surface. Sure, Mr. Potter had just fought with the Headmaster and stolen then broken his wand. But the wand had clearly chosen Harry, so in effect, Harry had broken his own wand. Nothing in wizarding customs really prompted them to punish the young man for winning a duel. Perhaps fifty points from Gryffindor for destroying the Headmaster's desk?

Filius and Sirius were relieved to see Harry taking a stand for himself and not at all sad to see one of the Hallows destroyed.

"Why?" Dumbledore asked, Harry.

It should have been Harry's question.

' _Why?_ ' What a potent little word.

Harry gave the answer he had been given, "For the Greater Good."

Fawkes sang and swooped down on the two halves of the wand. A brighter flame and the Firebird flew to Harry to brush against his cheek before returning to his master, settling on Albus's shoulder. Fawkes began nuzzling the man's unbruised cheek, trying to give comfort.

What remained of the Elder Wand was only ash.

* * *

AN: Thoughts? Reactions? Pretty, pretty please?


	15. Love Me Not

AN: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! So much love for you all! And yes, I have a love/hate relationship for Albus. Love because he is such a complicated character who has made me cry and hate because well… a lot of reasons.

KEYNOTE: Many of you have noticed that Harry has been letting stuff slip. Currently Sirius, Flitwick, and Poppy know the most. Others are putting some of the pieces together, they probably aren't going to make the logic jump to time travel but Harry has caused himself trouble.

ANII: I will never be able to live up to the last chapter. This chapter is the fluffy one I've been promising for a while now and for all the people who have been demanding more Harry/Luna.

Chapter 15 - Love Me Not

"GET OUT!" Albus roared, "All of you get out!"

Seeing the old man completely losing his cool had Harry and Sirius sharing a quick hug before parting their separate ways. Sirius through the fire and Harry being the first out the door.

Perhaps this was cowardly, but nobody in the room was qualified for being able to hand an emotional Albus. Even Minerva knew enough to give the man his own space. All but Severus were hot on Harry's heels to get out of the Headmaster's office.

Only Severus remained.

"Leave me," Albus said collapsing in a chair by the window, Fawkes chirping softly still on his shoulder.

"I would have taken him," Severus said when the door behind the others was firmly shut.

Albus looked up, his expression in turmoil. "What?"

"I would have taken the boy in, if there really had been no one else, I would have taken him in."

"You think you would have made a good father?" Albus asked bitterly.

"No," Severus said cooly, "I probably wouldn't have been, but I would have given him a place to sleep, his own clothes to wear, and food to eat."

"You would have taken in James Potter's son?" Albus repeated.

"I would have taken in Lily's son and I would have kept him safe."

"You would have been wasted," Albus sighed, looking out the window, "You wouldn't have been able to be my spy."

Severus shook his head and headed for the door. Before he left he had one parting shot, "In all your plans Albus, did you ever account for being proved wrong?"

He potions professor left and the old man sat overlooking the ground and acknowledged to himself, that _no_ , he hadn't accounted for being alone.

He frowned as his sluggish thoughts were able to think past the emotions and the pain swelling across his cheek.

 _How did Harry know I meant for him to face Tom? Tom didn't know that, it wasn't something Harry could have gleaned from the Dark Lord's mind. And how did Harry know of the Hallows? And why did the wand that only recognized a master who had killed the previous owner acknowledge Harry?_

* * *

When Sirius arrived back at Grimmauld Place Remus was there waiting for him.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked, nearly frantic, "Where's Harry?"

"I was punching Albus and Harry is in perfect health back at Hogwarts."

Remus gaped at him, "You did what?"

"Oh don't look so shocked, he was asking for it," Sirius said like he had a million times in his life about others. "It was Harry who did the impressive stuff. He won a duel against Dumbledore then broke his wand."

Remus sat back and would have fallen if Sirius hadn't kicked out a chair to catch his friend.

"What?" Remus asked stunned.

"More impressive in person, I assure you," Sirius said with a pleased grin at Remus's reaction. The sensible man was obviously reeling.

"But why would Harry and Albus be fighting? And why would Harry break his wand? And did you say you punched the Headmaster?"

"Because the Headmaster deserved it to all three of those questions."

"Why?" Remus asked.

Sirius sighed and sank down into a chair beside the werewolf, "Do you remember Lily's sister?"

Sirius told Remus what had happened to the son of their best friend after James's death. He ended the story at the end of Harry's fourth year and Sirius, in retelling the story was angrier than he had been because it was what followed after Harry's fourth year that had caused the most damage, had turned Harry from an abused child to a war hero. Into a man without equal.

* * *

By the time Severus caught up with the others Harry was regaling them with stories from his vacation.

Severus had never seen the boy so chipper. Happy the boy looked a lot more like Lily than he did James, at least in mannerism.

Poor Pomona was shell shocked as she listened, Minerva was lost in thought, and Filius was the only one actively listening with a smile.

"So while the rest of us have been scrambling to find the precious Boy Who Lived you were on a beach in the South of France?" Severus asked snidely.

Harry looked over his shoulder and flashed a smile at his dour professor. It was Lily's smile, Lily's eyes smiling at Severus beyond the grave.

"It was my first vacation ever," Harry said cheerfully.

The boy was fifteen years old and had never been on a holiday trip, not even Severus had a comeback for that one, not to the last remaining piece of Lily living on this plant. So Severus held his tongue and Harry went back to talking to Filius.

They entered the Great Hall and the room fell quiet until one Hufflepuff stood up, pointed dramatically at Harry, and shouted, "He's alive!"

Which sent the hall into a flurry of conversation and noise. Some people clapped, some like the Weasley twins (who would have known Harry was fine) stood up and hollered.

Severus made a disgusted noise and muttered, "He's the Boy Who Lived, of course he-" Harry didn't hear the rest over the rising noise but he could have sworn Snape said something about an atomic bomb.

A streak of blonde curls came rushing towards Harry.

He caught Luna in his arms and after a moment returned the hug to the girl who was clinging to him. Awkwardly, he patted her back.

"I'm okay, Luna, sorry, I guess I should have sent you a note," Harry apologized.

Severus made another disgruntled noise and headed for the end of the hall snapping at any student who was making a fuss as he went. Minerva and Filius and Pomona shared amused looks and headed for the head table, settling down the students as they went. Minerva having to put the most effort into it as it was her lions making the most noise. She had to threaten the twins with detention.

Luna looked up at Harry her eyes a deep blue, "I knew you were safe, I am just happy to have my friend back."

Harry extracted himself from her hug but took her hand as he went to find a seat at the Gryffindor table.

He wasn't really hungry but he didn't want to be alone in Gryffindor Tower either.

"Where have you been?" Angelina asked.

"South of France," Harry answered easily.

"Explains the tan," Hermione observed. Her tone was a bit harsh, but she looked relieved to see him.

Susan pushed between Fred and Lee, "You were kidnapped by Sirius Black!?"

Neville looked pale.

"No," Harry said. Susan and half the people listening sighed with relief, "I ran away with Sirius Black."

The expressions on their faces; totally worth it.

"Mr. Potter," Umbridge had approached them and those nearby had hushed to listen in.

Harry turned to look at the pink toad, eyebrows raised.

"Where have you been?" she asked.

"Away."

"You must-"

"I've already _been_ to the Headmaster's office," Harry said.

She sniffed but seeing the hostile faces of the other students returned to the head table.

"She's High Inquisitor now," George told him.

"She starts inspecting teachers tomorrow," Fred said.

"Snape's class will be fun."

Harry said nothing, knowing how it played out.

"You're sunkissed," Luna observed causing quite a few people to snigger.

Harry glared at them at to shut up. He told her, "I spent the week in the sun."

"Good thing, it fights off the Frosties."

Harry nodded in agreement.

"You missed our first quidditch match," Angelina said angrily from a few seats away.

"Judging by your face we lost," Harry guessed.

"Slytherin smoked us," Fred said mournfully, giving Ron an exasperated look.

Ron sank into his seat.

"It's alright," Harry consoled, "It was only the first game of the year, I am sure we can make up the points."

Ron gave Harry a grateful look as the twins and Angelina huffed.

Hermione sent Harry an odd look, "I never thought you would be so reasonable about quidditch."

Harry shrugged, "There are more important things," and with a wink at Ron he said, "like homework."

Neither Ron nor Hermione knew which one of them Harry was joking with.

* * *

"Ron," Hermione called from the door of their dorm room. It was after dinner but not curfew yet.

Ron came over to her, "What's up, Hermione?"

"Where's Harry?"

Ron made a sour face, "Library." He said it like it was a dirty word.

"Oh, well I don't think we have time to get him if we are going to make it back in time."

Ron frowned, "Back from where?"

"Hagrid is back."

The pair of them were knocking on Hagrid's door fifteen minutes later. The air was growing quite colder as the month of October wore on.

Hagrid opened the door with a big grin and a large black and blue bruise around his eye that had swollen shut. "I was wondering when you three woul- wait a minute, where's 'Arry?"

"Library," Ron said shortly, "Can we come in?"

Hagrid stepped back, but his smile was gone, "'Arry didn't want to see me?"

"We didn't ask," Hermione said. "What happened to you? Who hurt you?"

"Why wouldn't you ask him?" Hagrid wondered, perplexed at the very notion.

"We haven't been- that is to say we haven't been that close this year," Hermione said sadly.

"Why not?"

"You tell us about your eye and we'll tell you about Harry," Ron offered.

Hagrid gave them both a skeptical look, "Everything's strange since I got back. Dumbledore having a black eye and now Harry's not with you two. Strange, strange even for Hogwarts." He turned to start making tea.

"Dumbledore has a black eye?" Hermione asked horrified.

"Who would dare?" Ron asked astonished.

"Sirius Black took a swing at him apparently," Hagrid said.

"Why?" Ron and Hermione asked in unison.

"Dumbledore wouldn't say but he was in a right temper, wouldn't sit still for a minute, pacing a rut in the floor and his desk... It looked like there had been a duel in his office but when I asked he said Sirius hadn't done it," Hagrid explained placing two mugs before them.

"Sirius took Harry on vacation," Hermione supplied.

"What!?" Hagrid exclaimed, "During the semester? But he must have missed a load of classes."

"He had a nightmare," Ron said, "And a house-elf took in too Headquarters."

"Surely you saw the papers," Hermione said, "Sirius Black Kidnaps Boy Who Lived. It was all anyone could talk about. The school was going mad with it. Harry just came back today, he walked in with a tan like nothing had happened."

"Sirius is his godfather, Hermione," Ron pointed out, "He wasn't really in danger."

"I know Sirius wouldn't have harmed him, but it was rash and they could have been attacked. Besides he missed a lot of school."

"I thought you were mad at Harry for being too focused on school work?" Ron questioned. "You've barely talked to him all year since he jumped to being top of the year."

"You were mad at him for doing well at school?" Hagrid asked. He was flabbergasted. "But aren't you always after Harry and Ron for not trying harder? Poor show, Hermione, if you are going to turn on him when he listens to your advice."

Hermione's cheeks were tinged pink and flustered she tried to defend herself, but she found she had nothing to say.

"Harry's been weird since coming back from this summer," Ron said, coming to her defense.

"Weird how?" Hagrid asked.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look.

"Well," Ron said, "Aside from liking school work, he's been really distant and yet he's been pretty friendly with the other houses. He's been nice to _Malfoy_."

Hagrid's one good eye bulged, "Why?"

"We don't know," Hermione said, "And he seems to not like Dumbledore. He hates talking about him and he avoids the Headmaster at almost any cost."

"Strange," Hagrid muttered to himself.

"Now what happened to you?" Ron asked.

They talked of giants and by the time Hagrid had finished his story about befriending the head of the giants to Dumbledore's cause in case of a war, Ron and Hermione had to run back to Gryffindor Tower to make curfew.

Harry was sound asleep when Ron got back to their room. Ron looked at his best friend sadly, not understanding how fast and how far the distance between them had grown.

* * *

 _Harry's back at Hogwarts. He seems brighter. The towers in his mind are standing tall._

 _Father's papers had to reprint because the Quibbler was the only paper printing that Harry was safe with his godfather on vacation. A story which Harry and Dumbledore confirmed._

 _Dumbledore is unhappy though the towers in his mind have been attacked by an earthquake. I can tell because he doesn't talk at dinner with the other teachers._

 _Oh and he has a black eye. Perhaps he met an unfriendly Heliopath._

 _L.L._

* * *

Harry spent the next two days doing more homework than Hermione would have been willing to attempt. By Wednesday Harry had caught up with last week's work, though he looked tired.

Hermione couldn't help but be impressed as they walked as a group down to Hagrid's class. She approached Harry who was amiably teasing Draco for being afraid of the forest.

"Harry," she said softly.

He turned to her and she didn't like that he was giving her the same expectant look he had given Umbridge in the great hall three nights ago.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, "sorry for the way I've been acting."

Harry smiled at her and Hermione's heart skipped a beat. "It's alright Hermione, no worries."

She stared at him in amazement. Hermione would never get over how forgiving Harry could be to those he was close too.

"I'm sorry too mate," Ron said, eager to end the silent fraud between them all.

Harry glared at him.

Ron's heart sank.

Then Harry grinned, "Just kidding. We're good."

Draco, who had been watching the interaction closely snorted, and said dersively, "And that's why you weren't sorted into Slytherin."

Harry turned his grin on the pale boy, "If I had been sorted into Slytherin we might have been friends and such a world probably would self destruct."

Draco glared at him, "Anybody ever tell you, you're mad?"

Harry thought of his adventure at Gringotts and his grin only grew, "You have no idea how right they are."

Draco sank back into the group of Slytherins distancing himself from the Boy Who Lived.

Ron had an extra skip in his step until they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest that Hagrid told them they would be going into.

Harry walked beside Hagrid as the rest of the class stared after them.

Ron and Hermione hesitated only a moment before following their friends into the woods.

When they got to a dark thicket, Hagrid threw down the cow carcass and started screeching.

"Sandro!" Harry called pleased as he seemed to watch an invisible creature come out of the woods.

Only Theodore and Neville knew Harry wasn't petting thin air, but neither of them wanted to pet the skeletal horse.

Even Hagrid was a bit surprised, "You know Sandro?"

"Luna introduced us," Harry said coaxing to the horse who had put his head down to get behind his ear scratched.

"Xeno's daughter?" Hagrid asked.

"That's her, Luna Lovegood," Harry said with a smile.

And something about the way Harry had said her name made Hagrid think that while Ron and Hermione had been avoiding him, Harry had found other friends, or possibly someone more.

The rest of the class watched with a measure of fear and disgust as the cow disappeared by some invisible force while Harry tried to convince people to pet the creatures.

Hagrid watched all his students with amusement as he lectured them about his herd and Thestrals in the wild.

By the end of class Theodore, Daphne, Blaise, and Hermione were the only ones who tried to pet the Thestrals. The three Slytherins out of curiosity and not to be bested by Harry while Neville and Hermione reached out their hands in bravery. No one else really trusted Harry or Hagrid's definition of safe enough to try to pet an invisible carnivorous flying horse creature.

Harry couldn't really blame them.

* * *

Harry did homework with Hermione, Ron, and Luna in the library. Harry finished his essay first and started on a letter.

Ron was swamped with homework he'd been putting off and Hermione, well Hermione had started studying harder and putting even more effort into her subjects to try and catch up. Harry allowed her to read over his essays and she gaped in awe as she reread each one thrice over.

Harry passed his letter over to Luna who had already finished her own homework as fourth years had far less to do than fifth years. She was now drawing.

She paused looking at the address line. Luna smiled when she saw it was addressed to her father. She pulled it forward, pushing her drawing aside. In purple ink, she crossed out 'Mr. Lovegood' replacing it with Xeno.

So the letter thus read:

 _Dear Xeno,_

 _Thank you so much for our correspondence, your words helped a lot in helping me understand what had happened to me. I threw the stone somewhere nobody is likely to reach._

 _I found the wand too, it recognized me. Dumbledore had had it. I kind of, sort of, may have snapped it. Gold liquid came out, followed by a pulse of gold sparkles. Fawkes the Phoenix burned it to dust._

 _I don't know for sure if it was the best choice, I know it is somewhat of an artifact, but at least Dumbledore will not be murdered for it._

 _Just thought you should know or at least would like to know._

 _Warmest Regards,_

 _Harry._

Luna wrote on the bottom.

 _P.S. Father I love you, L.L._

Followed by an arrow up at Harry's body paragraphs. _Smart, isn't he?_ and a doodle of purple phoenix.

"I was wondering if you could owl it for me?" Harry asked in a whisper low enough that neither Ron nor Hermione looked up from their work, "I don't think they would check your mail to your dad."

Luna nodded and folded the letter. She wrote her address on the front and pulled out her wand and warded and cursed the letter against anyone but the person it was addressed to.

Harry's green eyes widened in appreciation. "That's so cool," he whispered, "Would you teach me?"

She nodded and took him through the symbols, the syllables, the intentions, and the wand movements.

Hermione and Ron had stopped what they were doing to watch them, Harry and Luna lost in their own realm.

* * *

The group split before curfew going to their separate towers.

Before she went Luna tapped her finger on the letter and asked Harry, "The Bard?"

Harry nodded.

With a sweet smile, she went up on tip toe and kissed Harry's cheek. She had turned and was skipping away before Harry good wish her goodnight.

Hermione and Ron gaped at Harry who was holding the back of his hand to his cheek.

"You like _her?_ " Hermione asked after a moment.

Harry whipped his hand down to his side, face flushing. " _No_ ," he said embarrassed. He began to march towards their tower.

"Loony Lovegood?" Ron asked. " _You_ like _Loony_ Lovegood."

Harry face was hot, but he shook his head, "Don't call her that. And no, we are just friends."

"It didn't look like just friendship to me," Hermione said with a smirk as Harry's ears glowed pink.

" _No_ ," Harry said more firmly. Inside he was squirming. Luna was only fourteen. Ginny was only fourteen. Harry was eighteen and in two years he would be twenty and they would be sixteen. That would be too weird for him.

Ron, who had rarely seen Harry so teasable pressed, "Potter and _Love_ good. Not a bad ring to it."

Harry walked faster.

"It's alright to have a crush, Harry," Hermione mused. "She seems to like you too."

Harry's heart sank. That wasn't a good thought, that wasn't a good thought at all. Harry had begun to truly depend on Luna's friendship, he didn't have to guard his thoughts or emotions from her and she didn't question him when he made slips about the future and she was the only one who didn't seem to need to know all his secrets to accept him. She didn't ask about the past or the future, Luna simply, blessedly only cared about Harry in the now.

The thought that she might develop feelings for him, feelings that he could not, or rather would not return made him sick.

"Oh come on, Harry, she'd make a great first girlfriend," Ron coaxed.

They were entering the portrait hole when Harry gritted out, "And why's that, Ronald?" It was warning that should have tipped Ron off, Harry never ever used Ron's full first name.

"She's the only person in this school weirder than you are."

Harry stuck out his foot and Ron went sprawling into the common room. The twins and Lee who had seen them come began to laugh uproariously.

"Insensitive git," Harry snapped, heading up to bed not waiting for Ron to pick himself up off the floor.

Hermione was shaking her head as Ron got up.

"Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him," Ron mumbled to Hermione.

She just rolled her eyes and went to her own room.

The twins were still rolling around on the floor in fits of giggles.

* * *

Harry didn't sleep well that night.

On Thursday he had a class with Cho Chang and about half an hour in he was about ready to start screaming at her. His threats when he went into Ravenclaw Tower she seemed to think didn't apply to. At least not now that Marietta was sitting on the far side of the room.

But the next time Cho touched Harry's elbow he jerked aggressively away from her. He hissed, "Can you please stop touching me?"

Cho's face filled with hurt and her eyes seemed to brim with tears.

Harry ignored her. His thoughts preoccupied with another Ravenclaw girl. He didn't like Luna really. Not like liked any way. Or at least he didn't think he did. Not the way he had liked Ginny or even had once been crushing on Cho. Cho, who was a sixth year and only two years younger than him.

Harry sighed. He hadn't thought his age would bother him so much but it did and he needed to find a way to ensure Luna never felt more for him than he did for her.

He needed to talk to Sirius, or maybe Flitwick but that would be awkward. He wouldn't want to talk to his professor about girls.

 _Of course, I don't like her like that so it shouldn't be a problem should it?_ A voice in his head asked him cheekily.

But Harry didn't end up asking Flitwick and whatever uneasy feelings Harry had were assuaged by Luna herself in their Arithmancy class.

They discussed nothing but Arithmancy and the theory that DADA was really just part B of Charms class. Luna didn't try to touch Harry across the table, or flirt, or give him secret looks. She didn't lose her ability to talk around him or laugh at the things he was saying that weren't meant to be funny.

Luna didn't act like the girls in his sixth year had, or like Cho, or like Ginny. In fact, now that he thought of it, he remembered when he had brought Luna to Slughorn's party and there had been nothing romantic between them. Nothing romantic at all. No, Hermione and Ron had just been having a go at him; Harry didn't like like Luna. She was beautiful in her own way but Harry didn't feel uncontrollably attracted to her like he had once felt for Ginny. And Luna gave no sign that she thought of him as more than a friend either.

Nope, Harry and Luna were just that, just friends. Two weird people in a weirder world surrounded by people who were pretending to be 'normal' as if there were such a thing.

* * *

 _Dearest Darlingest Daisy Diary,_

 _I think I like Harry. But I can't let him know. He's my only friend, the only person outside of Father who doesn't treat me like I'm something apart. But Dearest Darlingest Daisy Diary, I think I really like him._

 _Love Luna_

* * *

AN: So the back and forth with the Golden Trio because yes they are friends but no they don't fit like the used to. And no, I still have no idea how to write romance so again I'm winging it. Please share your reactions with me?


	16. Without You

WARNING: There is some harsh wording in this one. I typically stay clear of swearing but Sirius sort of blew that out of the water and well I swear a lot sooo I lost that battle with myself.

AN: It may be my favorite fish after shnailfish.

Chapter 16 - Without You

 _The Nargles are gathering._

 _I knew Ginny wasn't my friend, she nearly blew my head off in BBCE, luckily I am getting better at shield charms. Cho has been setting traps in the fourth year dorm bathroom. I would tell her to stop but the strands of her magic are so easy to see I wonder if she's giving me practice in countercurse wards._

 _More people are joining DADA nearly everyone from the fourth year to the seventh year is coming, they followed their classmates to the RR. I don't know if the RR can grow much bigger and I hope we don't get caught._

 _Father says Harry is a brilliant young man and would have been sorted into Ravenclaw had trouble not followed him around like Snuckerfish to the underside of a Gaia Turtle._

 _L.L._

* * *

The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was not having an easy time. Some of the teachers were easy enough to bully -Minerva McGonagall not among them, but it was the resistance of the students that made Dolores's reports so difficult.

A trend had been started -and when Dolores found out who they were, they would pay, that whenever she asked a question about the class or teacher the student -no matter the house, would start with "As compared to your class-" followed by some impressive backhanded insults.

"Compared to you Professor Umbridge, Professor Snape is encouraging and warm hearted."

"Compared to your class, I'd say I am actually going to be able to pass my Care of Magical Creatures OWLs exam."

"Compared to DADA, Divinations is actually preparing us for the future, if only because Professor Trelawney is realistic about the dangers that exist in the world."

It rankled Dolores that she couldn't punish them but Minerva had pulled rank as Assistant Headmistress so although Dolores could give them a month of detentions Minerva was the one to decide what they did and most of her 'detentions' were a five minute time out in the corner to ponder what they'd done as Dolores raged in quiet observation from the shadows.

Her Inquisitive team consisted of two numb skulls from her old house. They didn't have two original thoughts to rub between them.

Dolores needed to find a way to gain real power at Hogwarts. The way to achieve this was clear; break Harry Potter. If his quiet leadership and influence were broken than this new and abnormal cross house unity would evaporate. Only through devotion did Umbridge have a chance of claiming this school as her own.

* * *

Voldemort was going to kill Peter Pettigrew. He was going to kill him slow and painful-

Voldemort rolled off the grubby couch onto the dusty floor with a thunk. "Wormtail!" he wailed, cursing that he, the Dark Lord had been reduced to hiding in an abandoned apartment in Saudi Arabia dependant on one single insufferable Gryffindor to keep him alive, unable to so much as walk or feed himself.

"M'lord!" Wormtail cried, scrambling, and _curse him, was he snuffling?_ No, he was on the brink of tears. _Damn him_. How had this pitiful creature ever had friends? He was truly insufferable.

"Get me off the floor!"

In Wormtail's shaking grip, Voldemort felt like he was being shaken like a child twirling an ant terrarium.

"Put me down!"

Wormtail dropped him back on the floor.

 _Ow._

Oh how he missed Quirrel. The jittering, garlic toting pansy had at least had the brains not _smash his face against hard surfaces!_

"On the couch, you blithering idiot!" Voldemort screeched.

Wormtail fell over himself putting the baby bundle, that was Voldemort on the smelly couch, which he then began to roll off again.

"Securely!" Voldemort instructed.

Wormtail rearranged him, taking a -what once might have been considered, a blanket to cover him up with.

"It's too hot here for that!"

Wormtail whipped the blanket off and again, Voldemort rolled to the floor with another thunk.

The worm would die for this humiliation. He would die a creative death, a most creative death indeed.

The only thing keeping Voldemort alive were the snakes Wormtail kept trapping on the edge of the desert. Eating the heads and drinking the blood of magical dessert snakes was enough to sustain this poor excuse for a body but he needed something stronger. Or something that could strengthen his spirit so he could possess the Boy Who Lived, for what better way was there to take over Britain than taking over the life of their hero.

Only in the meantime, Voldemort could only wish that he wasn't living on the edge of a desert city. How he longed to be living in one of the lush apartments they passed, the ones with air conditioning. The muggle contraptions were necessary when a wizard like Wormtail was your only means of magic. It had taken five hours of not so patient instruction of a muggle repellent warding to guard them against the dregs that wandered every city.

It would all be worth it in the end however, Harry Potter would be his. The boy may be guarded physically, but Voldemort had tasted his mind, his soul and he would eat that soul and take his place in the Golden Boy's body. He had learned in the last year things no mortal knew and necromancy had nothing on dissecting a human soul.

* * *

Harry showed up to his Occlumency lesson with Snape that Friday night. He was surprised, however, when Snape directed he follow him out of his office, and out of the dungeons.

After a few minutes of walking, Harry asked, "Why are we going to the hospital wing?"

"Don't ask stupid questions," Snape snapped.

Harry didn't ask again but that didn't mean he agreed with it being a stupid question. As far Harry was aware he didn't need medical help so the question of why they were starting out their lesson in the medical wing had merit.

Madame Pomfrey greeted him like Harry had come to expect from Mrs. Weasley. Indeed, her treatment of him could be safely compared to a full out Mollycoddling.

She started handing him potions after she checked him with a number spells, "You are doing much better than last year, but the damage is quite deep. My own fault for not recognizing your thin waist and weak bones for what they were. Even your trouble in school up to this year might be explained."

"Um… what are you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Just drink the potions, Mr. Potter, it will explain itself. Trust me," she said.

Harry gave her a wary look. He trusted her but-

She huffed, hands on hips and continued, "Really Harry, Professor Snape brewed them. They are safe. He is the best Potioneer in the country."

Harry looked askance at the potion bottles in his hands, "Was that supposed to reassure me? Because it doesn't."

"Shut it, you little ingrate. Those potions took me two seasons to prepare," Snape growled with a scowl, though Harry could have sworn he saw a spark of amusement in his Professor's onyx eyes.

Figuring that if either of them had truly wished him harm they would have succeeded by now. So he dunked the potions back, one after the other, and another, and another.

It was good he was already sitting on a cot because Harry was given no warning before his body decided that being conscious was not what the moment called for.

* * *

Harry woke with start, flinging himself off the cot.

"Good," Pomfrey said, looking up from her clipboard, "It worked."

"What worke-" Harry started to ask, wrapping his arms around his bare chest. Only it didn't feel like his fifteen year old body, it didn't feel like the body he'd transported back in time to.

Pomfrey waved her wand and summoned a mirror and Harry spun to look at himself. He was taller, nearly as tall as he had been when he was seventeen, but his skin. It was still tanned from his vacation but it was, well- he wasn't really sure anyone else would see it, unless like him they had spent a lifetime, maybe two, with himself and he knew that this wasn't the way he looked. He was still lean, still had muscles from Defense and Quidditch practice but now he also had a layer of- of fat? Not bad fat or even the baby weight Neville had but just a healthy layer of padding between his muscles and his skin. His ribs were no longer visibly protruding against his sides. His stomach was... softer. There had been points in his childhood where his stomach had bloated outward even if his gutt was aching from lack of food but this- Harry poked it. The pleasant give made him smile.

He looked average.

He didn't have the same face Hermione had called handsome in their sixth year, but his cheeks were now fuller, his adam's apple less visible, he still looked fifteen but Harry had never realized all the marks that had truly meant he had never taken care of his body. No wonder Mrs. Weasley always treated him like he looked starved. He had looked starved and the months of good eating at Hogwarts were always undone by the summer of near fasting.

Harry turned back to Madame Pomfrey who was watching him with a sad smile. Harry marveled at how smooth his motions were, how his very joints felt- better, stronger. He still needed his glasses but even through the little glass panes, the world looked sharper as if the faintest of fogs had been lifted.

"Thank you," Harry breathed, even his thoughts felt less mirky. It was like having a handicap your entire life and suddenly being able to move without infringement.

Pomfrey shook her head and waved him away, "Don't thank me Harry. I should have done this the moment you walked through- were carried through my door. I should have seen it." She was berating herself.

Harry stepped forward and hugged the mediwitch, she was smaller than him now. "Thank you for taking care of me Madame Pomfrey."

She hugged him back, she held him tightly for a moment before letting him go and pushing him towards the door. She threw him a new set of robs. "Get out of here and show your potion professor a little of that gratitude."

Harry widened his bright green eyes at her, "Are you instructing me to give Professor Snape hug when I next see him?"

Pomfrey laughed and Harry pretended not to see the tears at trailing down her cheeks. "If that's your scheme, you can wait for dinner so I can witness the chaos."

Harry blew her a kiss and jogged back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Harry?" Hermione called, "You're awake! You were in the hospital wing for two nights- what-" she got a good look at him. His taller frame, his fuller face. "What happened to you?"

Harry grinned, "Healing potions." He sprinted up the steps to his room, glorying in the strength of his body. He was back downstairs with his broom in hand.

"Harry? Wait, where are you-?" Ron called but Harry had already mounted his broom and escaped out a window.

Harry spent the rest of the afternoon in the air, falling in love with being alive and magic all over again.

* * *

Harry's progress in school skyrocketed. Where he had entered this school an average student he was finally showing his colors. Colors that proved that he had always meant to be Tom Riddle and Albus Dumbledore's equal magically.

Though not all of his progress could be contributed to Snape and Pomfrey's healing potions. No, this Harry as opposed to the Harry from a time before had family and friends to confide in. Friend circles that expanded beyond Ron and Hermione or even Gryffindor house. Harry wasn't so much popular as he was welcomed. He was happy and his skill as a wizard and his kindness as a person made him likable, made others want to be like him.

Or with him.

Cho Chang and a now single Ginny Weasley were vying for his affections, as were a number of other girls and a select handful of boys. But there was one thing people seemed not to understand. A more open, more confident Harry still wasn't an overly trusting person. In fact, his innate shyness was starting to come out the more people starting hounding him for attention. Harry was fine to lead when the time called for it or to be the professor in a classroom setting. But Harry did not enjoy the social spotlight like he had briefly in his sixth year before dating Ginny.

"How do I hide from your sister?" Harry asked the twins.

They sniggered in answer.

Fred said, "There is no hiding from Ginny, it is either you relent or let her run you over."

"In other words, you're not going to help," Harry said frustrated.

"Nope," they said in unison.

"I thought she had gotten over me?" Harry muttered.

"That would be before you became disearble number one," Hermione said from an armchair where she had been reading her book.

Harry flinched at the phrasing, folding in on himself. "I hate people," Harry muttered under his breath as he left the common room. He needed away.

Today was Halloween and the constant pestering of people was irritating. The Slytherins weren't so bad as they mostly took Harry's not so subtle hints about not wanting a following. The rest of the houses though…

Harry wondered the halls. It was a Thursday but everyone had the day off so the halls were mostly empty.

"Stay away from him!"

It was Ginny's voice and Harry slowed before turning around the next corner. Listening carefully.

"He's my friend," pleaded a familiar voice.

 _Luna._

Harry wanted to go to her defense, but he knew as soon as someone saw him they would put on a false pleasant face to encourage his company, which typically did the opposite. Harry much preferred hanging out with Astoria who mocked anyone who found him attractive with gagging noises and disgusted looks. Or Susan, who had no problem tossing books and hexes at him when the opportunity presented itself. Or Luna who was simply herself.

"You little whore," another voice snarled, Harry wasn't as familiar with but he thought it might one of the seventh year Ravenclaw girls.

"That's a little harsh," Ginny scaled back, her own temper deflating as the other girl- or girls' hostility rose.

"But she is a little vixen isn't she?" That one Harry knew was another fourth year girl from Gryffindor, though he couldn't remember her name.

The older Ravenclaw girl spoke again, "We've all seen the way he looks at you? We've seen you go out into the woods with him. What do you do with him? Do you like being on your knees? Spreading yo-"

Harry whipped around the corner so fast that he didn't even know what spell was striking the girl between her shoulder blades.

Stunner.

She collapsed to the floor. Lucky for her it was just a stunner.

Harry was so furious he was seeing red. He was striding towards the group and it broke his heart to see Luna backed up to the wall, her face shining with tears.

Harry's wand gravitated the nameless Gryffindor girl upward by her robes and sent her careening into Ginny. They fell hard on the ground in a scramble of limbs.

Luna was shaking slightly, her wand forgotten held loosely at her side. Harry thought it likely that she hadn't quite been ready to raise her wand at Ginny, a girl Luna had grown up with as neighbors and who had been the closest thing she had to a friend before Harry came along.

Harry took Luna's other hand, it was clammy and rested passively in his hand. Her breathing was shallow, her pale eyes were too wide.

Harry looked toward Ginny with a level of revulsion and outrage he thought he had reserved only for Wormtail.

Ginny looked up at him, distraught, her face a mask of shame. She opened her mouth but Harry beat her to it.

"You bitch."

She gaped at him.

Harry wasn't a child anymore, not a young teen who didn't understand the long term effects that squabbles in school could lead to in life. One had to look no further than Snape for such an example. It didn't matter to Harry that Ginny was Ron's sister who had made a childish mistake acting out on her anger and confused feelings. It didn't matter that Harry had loved her once, he loved her no longer. He wanted nothing more to do with her. He didn't always have to be the bigger person. He didn't have to be friends with everyone.

If it was a choice between everyone and the handful of people he cherished, Harry was going to be the selfish bloke who swore at teenage girls for being mean and pathetic.

Harry gently tugged on Luna's hand, she stumbled forward. Harry let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side as he led her away from the speechless Gryffindor girls and the stunned seventh year sprawled in the hallway.

Luna didn't say anything as they walked, but a steady flow of tears trailed silently down her face.

Harry led them to the kitchen. He hushed the well-meaning elves but politely asked for tea and some sweets.

Harry sat beside Luna on a small bench. Her eyes stared blankly out into space.

"Luna?" Harry asked softly. He didn't make the mistake of asking her if she was okay. She so clearly wasn't.

"Why didn't I fight back?" She asked blankly. Her eyes suddenly focusing on him, had darkened to a stormy grey. It was oddly beautiful and either not entirely human or uniquely Luna for her eyes to have such a range of shades and hues. "I had my wand, why didn't I fight back?" she asked and if Harry hadn't been looking into her face he would have described her question as disinterestedly academic.

"They weren't, at least at first going to hurt you physically and Ginny was your friend," Harry explained carefully.

"Ginny is not my friend," Luna said very sharply.

Harry nodded, "I know that."

"So why?" she asked again, "Why didn't I fight back? Why didn't I defend myself?"

It was a question he had asked of himself but he had an easier answer for Luna. He cupped one of her slick cheeks in his hand, the contrast between their skin tones was notable. "I've seen you battle Death Eaters and hold up to torture and be brave and true and unabashedly you through it all. You are quite capable of knocking together the heads of a few bullies but you shouldn't have had to. And you shouldn't be ashamed that in face of your classmates that your first instinct wasn't to hurt them."

She took Harry's hand in both of hers, pulling his touch away from her face. "They were wrong about the things they said I did with you but I don't care what people say or think. I will not stay away from you," she declared, raising her chin in defiance, daring him to argue with her.

Harry looked at her for a moment in awe before he smiled brilliantly at her, "Good, I think I would be lost without you."

Her face crumbled and she fell into Harry's arms crying, sobbing, only it was all done silently but for the small gasps of air. Harry held her, rubbing her back in soothing circles. He knew from experience that the only reason someone cried like this -when they let the grief take over their entire body but stopped short of voicing the pain, was because there were people in their lives not meant to hear, not meant to see, or know that they grieved.

Harry held her and took strength from being the one to give comfort, what little he could give.

AN: I made myself cry. Please review?


	17. Rainy Day People

WARNING!: For anyone dealing with mental disorders/diseases, I am not trying to portray anything classible except for a bit of anxiety. This is all pure fiction and I don't want to make anyone feel bad for stigmas rooted in our societies or misrepresent any of the very real struggles endured. My Luna is not meant to have anything more than her own existence.

* * *

KEYNOTE: Luna is a character who is smart, observant, and though she is not mental she does have odd coping mechanisms and is hypersensitive to magic with a vivid imagination. You will see the two intermingling but it isn't a form of insanity. I am an artist and I will base Luna on the part of my own experiences in life.

AN: To Pickles who wanted a chapter in Luna's POV. Y'all might regret this view because my style of writing is written by the characters. I have only a vaguest of ideas of what happens until it comes out on paper/screen. I will be as much surprised by the happenings of this chapter as you will be.

P.S. I am eating a frozen green apple, it has an odd texture. And this is the last of the chapters of the week.

* * *

Chapter 17 - Rainy Day People

Luna knocked on Professor Flitwick's office door.

"Come in!" called his cheery voice.

Luna liked Professor Flitwick, liked him more that Harry trusted him.

Flitwick looked up at her surprised, "Miss Lovegood? A pleasant surprise, what can I do for you?"

It was Friday and classes had resumed as normal. Right now, everyone else was at lunch.

"I need to talk with you, Professor."

A more serious expression stole of the kind man's face.

"Come sit, would you like some tea, my dear girl?"

She nodded. Outwardly her hands were steady, inwardly she- she doubted this was the right thing to do, but Harry had urged her to go to Flitwick. He was seeking out Minerva at the moment. One way or another, Flitwick would know what had happened.

Luna took her tea, adding four sugar cubes and a dab of milk.

Flitwick watched her, with worry but also with a measure of patience that was settling her nerves. He was quiet but not rudely so. He stirred his own tea. Taking a few sips every now and then. Enjoying the tea and her company.

She realized as she sipped her own tea that she didn't have to tell him, he wouldn't force her. They could spend the entire period before his next class drinking tea and he would never bring it up again.

He was kind.

It touched her, invited her to speak.

"Yesterday Calli Hinterland, Gena Daner, and Ginny Weasley cornered me in the hall," she said, keeping her focus a bit unfocused so she could see both his face and his chest -where all movement begins.

His breath hitched, unhappy, worried, but his tone remained calm, "What happened?"

She shook her head but didn't dare take her eyes off him, not even to blink, it was important she know how he would react, important that he deserved Harry's trust. "Nothing Harry saved me."

Flitwick took in a controlled breath and exhaled softly before answering, "What did Harry save you from?"

"They told me to stay away from Harry. Daner called me a whore and Calli, Calli asked if I was going into the woods with Harry to- to-"

She didn't mean for her shoulders shake, she didn't even know why it had affected her so. She liked Harry, really _liked_ Harry but she didn't want him like that, not exactly. She didn't want-

"Ms. Lovegood," Flitwick called softly.

Luna blinked too fast, she was being foolish, "I don't know why I care, they were just words."

"Menacing a classmate and harassing their character while inferring things about our dear ones is not a matter of simple words. Remember that wars may be fought with weapons but they start and end by the power of words exchanged between people."

She took a drink of her tea, the warmth and the sugar soothing her insides. She imagined white sparkles rising from her teacup, the little dancing lights easing the tension between her brows.

Flitwick gave her the time she needed and didn't ask his next question until she was giving him eye contact again. "What did Harry do?"

 _Harry_ , not Mr. Potter, Flitwick felt something for him, though she wasn't sure if he was ready to be upset with or concerned for Harry.

"He stunned Calli, levitated Daner and threw her at Ginny. And he swore at Ginny."

Flitwick covered up his smirk quickly but Luna had seen it. He was on Harry's side, her side. "How would you like to handle them, Ms. Lovegood?"

She raised one fair eyebrow, "You would do what I would suggest?"

"No, but I would hear what you think and feel of the matter and I will take that into consideration."

"I don't want you to do anything," Luna said truthfully.

"No?" It was Flitwick's turn to raise a brow, only his eyebrow was white and bushy with bits of grey.

"I just came because Harry said I should and that he was going to tell Professor McGonagall."

"Really?" he asked, tone light.

Luna glared at him, "You don't believe me."

"Oh, I believe you, my dear," he said easily but said nothing more.

Luna put down her empty cup on the desk between them. She rocked back in her chair a bit and as the silence continued she began to fidget. It would be rude to dismiss herself but Flitwick wasn't saying anything, just waiting.

She sat on her hands.

Ten minutes past and still Flitwick said nothing.

Luna's thoughts had descended into a turmoil of excuses to be able to leave politely and the shadows she saw in the corner of her eye. They weren't moving but she was ready for them to.

"Luna, is there anything else that has happened you would like to discuss?"

Her focus spun back to him, her thoughts stalling before whirling into seven separate thoughts. "About what?" she asked evenly.

"Is anyone else from our house causing you trouble?"

Luna did not say a word.

Flitwick sighed, "I'll take that as a yes."

She still didn't say anything.

Flitwick changed tack, "You've been spending a lot of time with Mr. Potter?"

Luna wasn't sure where this was going but nodded.

"He's kind to you?"

Her eyes narrowed, "Of course, he is my friend."

"Harry's friends aren't always nice to him."

"I don't understand that," she said shortly.

"He's mature for his age and he changed a lot over the summer."

She had no idea what he wanted from her.

"Does Harry ever make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Never," Luna said automatically, though it was not the complete truth. The truth was that she was so comfortable with Harry it was uncomfortable because she didn't know if he felt the same. They had spent all night playing chess in the kitchens. Harry had held her while she cried, but despite wanting more from him she wasn't sure he wanted more from her.

"You don't find his secrets burdensome?" Flitwick asked.

She tilted her head, realizing for the first time that this professor might know more about Harry, at least more about Harry's life than she did.

Harry knew things but that had just become a part of who he was to her. A person who bent shadows and light because he had been bent by them.

But Professor Flitwick might have a more mundane explanation for Harry.

"Harry could never be a burden, we walk together," Luna explained.

Flitwick's blue eyes seemed to search hers, his lips narrowing, "You care for Harry."

"Yes."

"I do not presume to know much about your relationship with him outside friendship but if Harry ever makes you feel presur-"

"Harry would never-" Luna protested but Flitwick silenced her with a raised hand.

"My dear, I merely want to remind you that your mind and body are your own. Only you get to decide if, who, or when someone crosses your boundaries. Harry is a good man but I am your Head of House. If there is ever trouble, if you ever need someone to listen, I will be here for you, no matter what," Flitwick said solemnly.

"You're saying even though Harry is one of your favorite students that you will still hear me even if our stories one day for a reason that will never happen are different and I might come to you?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"What else have students been doing to you?" Flitwick asked directly this time.

"You don't think the hallway was enough?"

"I have been a teacher for many years and I know that many little things can be more painful than the great big ones."

"Cho Chang has been spelling my bathroom and there are a lot of whispers."

"I shall speak with Ms. Chang as for the whispers… I realize their words may hurt. I just hope you don't let them define you."

"I am defined, what they see with their eyes isn't much. Truly blind people often see more."

Flitwick nodded, "Thank you for coming to me, Ms. Lovegood. I hope you will tell me if things develop further in the future."

Luna stood, bowed her head and left.

She felt surprisingly better, she had never gone to a teacher for help for herself before. Father said people so rarely listen close or long enough to understand.

She touched the stones as she walked, imagining the essence of each stone reaching to touch her hand in return.

She closed her eyes, smelling the damp air. It was raining, would rain all day, the sky gods crying, never able to rest on earth, always above, always out of reach. Only their grief and rage and the pondering of a breeze could connect those above with those below.

Luna loved the rain, the way the air felt real enough to hug her. She held out her arms and spun. She smiled, life was a good thing.

* * *

Her next class was Transfiguration she shared with Ginny. Her shoulders hunched and she wouldn't so much as look in Luna's direction. Gena had looked at Luna once, with a look of fear and loathing.

Luna imagined grey and red energies tugging on their hair, prodding at their spines.

Luna hoped they didn't prod too hard, she didn't want either girl more angry at her.

McGonagall, who gave her kind eyes turned on the two girls with a fury. She dropped the box she had been caring that held the stones they would be using for their spells. McGonagall leaned her tall body forward, like a crane moving slowly, ready to strike at the fish swimming around her legs.

"I will be writing home to both your parents. You do not have detention, but so help me if I hear anything of the nature of yesterday's incident again, missing house points will be the least of your worries," she whispered, loud enough that only a few people overheard.

By the end of class Luna's white and blue teapot was illustrated with pretty cranes catching hapless fish.

Luna had her last block off and went searching for Harry. She followed the bend in the world where the light coming in from the windows was brighter, the shadows more submissive.

She found him in an empty hallway past the entrance to the Divination tower. There were no paintings or portraits down this hall and it was a dead end. There only a supply closest that Filch was known to use when he was cleaning this side of the building.

The window here overlooked the lake and the mountain range, one could also see other parts of the castle. Harry was sitting on the wide sill staring at the visible parts of the castle, his breathing was tight as if it were a prisoner in his chest, reluctant to escape for fear that reality was worse than the container it occupied. One of his legs was pulled to his middle, his arms wrapped around it, his chin resting on his knee.

"Hi Luna," Harry greeted, though he continued staring at the castle.

Luna sat on the sill. Her legs swinging a bit, the floor was a few inches away from her toes.

"I spoke with Flitwick," she said.

Harry's gaze broke away from a memory she could not imagine. His emerald eyes focusing on her looking like polished jewels. "I spoke with McGonagall."

"She was nice to me in class."

"She said she wouldn't punish them because then she would have to punish me for dueling in the halls and throwing people into other people."

"She said she wrote their parents notes though," Luna said thinking that would be perhaps the worst punishment.

Harry's eyes danced with light, "She wrote Sirius a note too." He found the idea funny.

"I would like to meet him."

Harry smiled then, genuine pleasure, "I would like that too."

She swayed side to side for a moment. "I know it's a bit early, but my father invited you and your godfather to our house for Yule."

"You know Sirius is still on the run right. He's innocent, but he could still cause you trouble."

"Father painted a picture of four blobs, one orange, one lavender, one green, and one grey-blue running away from black shadows. He knows the minister is after you and the risks."

Harry grinned, "You're lavender, Xeno is orange, I'm green because you told him my eye color and because he hasn't met me yet, and that leaves grey-blue as Sirius."

She smiled back, glad he understood. Some paintings were just paintings, emotions in hues and shades, but others were messages that outsiders would not bother to decode. "Most people in the Black line have either grey-blue eyes or brown. But I think Father went to school with Sirius. He was a few years ahead."

"Cool," Harry said with a grin. Luna liked that Harry seemed to like her father. Not a lot people did. But then not a lot of people liked her either.

"So will you?" she asked.

"I'll have to ask Sirius, but I would love to. I think the Weasleys wanted me to come to their home but I don't want to, not after yesterday."

"Are you in trouble with them because you hurt Ginny?"

Harry shrugged, "Maybe, it doesn't look like Ginny told any of her brothers what happened and I don't know how McGonagall worded her letter to Mrs. Weasley. I don't really care though. Ginny was wrong to do what she did."

"Even if you lose Ron as a friend?"

"That happens every other season."

"Gred and Forge."

Harry's smile faded a bit, but he said, "Luna, you mean more to me than their opinion of me."

Her heart raced and unlike the first time Harry had said that they were friends, forever and always, she knew why her heart was galloping. She wondered if his was.

"You mean more to me too," she said, angling herself towards him, like lily leaves towards the sun.

His face seemed to brighten a bit with color, but he didn't move his chin off his knee, he didn't move away from her.

"Harry?"

He tilted his head a bit, "Luna."

She moved her face closer to his, this close there was no glare on his glasses, and she could see more than just the pretty color of his eyes. He was so beautiful to her. The more she got to know him the more beautiful he became.

Her heart was in her throat as she leaned closer to him still. He didn't move away. Both their breaths were shallow, quiet, the only sound was the roaring of blood in her ears and the delightful pat, pat of raindrops on the windows.

Luna closed her eyes, crossing that small distance, her lips found his.

Harry's lips were soft and he tasted sweet.

She was the one to pull away first. She searched his face desperate for reassurance that she had not messed up. She was kneeling and looking down into his stunned face.

He looked at her like she was the most marvellest, most beautiful person he had ever seen. She had never felt lovely in her life until she had seen that expression on this man's face.

Her hurt burst, her being filling with liquid joy. Harry rose up, dropping his leg and reaching out to her. She met him halfway and the second kiss was better. The sensation of his lips parting under hers stole away her thoughts, every inch of her skin tingling. She was lost in him. His arms encircled her and she felt safe, unequivocally safe.

They parted to catch their breaths.

Harry cupped her face between his palms, pausing to run a hand down her soft curls. On Harry's face was a look of what could only be called adoration as he began, "Luna, I-"

She ducked out of his grasp. Standing, her heart pummeling, her feet feeling as if they had no attachment to the ground whatsoever, she said, "Harry, I like you. I like you a lot."

And then she turned from him, sprinting down the halls at full speed, not to get away but because she wasn't sure she could handle any more happiness without combusting into flame.

* * *

Harry watched her go with an amused smile, knowing better than to chase after her. She wasn't running away from him after all.

He leaned back, stretching his legs out in front of him. His pulse was still hammering.

 _Harry, I like you. I like you a lot._ Her words played over and over again his mind, the touch of her lips still warm on his smile.

He pressed his forehead to the cool window pane. "Luna," Harry whispered, his heart giving him a sharp squeeze to let him know that this was real. "I really, really like you."

Harry had never loved the rain as much as he did this day.

* * *

AN: Please share your thoughts and reactions with me?

Rainy Day People by Gordon Lightfoot. I pick my titles after I finish a chapter. (If you look it up on youtube second video has better sound quality)


	18. Lost Boys

AN: Turns out writing Luna is absurdly easy for me, as in I think she is my natural go to character, at least my version of her. I knew that Luna and my muse would get along, I didn't expect them to be basically the creature.

P.S. I know Sirius and Tonks are second cousins or whatever but neice is easier, it is what I call some of my little cousins.

Disclaimer: Quote from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows near the end.

BETA: Much love and many thanks to the wonderful Queen of Thornes

* * *

Chapter 18 - Lost Boys

Hedwig visited Luna at dinner with a note from Harry apologizing for not being at dinner. He didn't give a reason, but Luna didn't need one. He would tell her why later or he wouldn't. She was simply glad he thought to tell her.

Hedwig stayed on Luna's shoulder watching the students around them in every direction. Nobody screwed with Harry's owl, for a number of reasons; first, the Snowy Owl was uniquely beautiful, second, Harry was known to be good in a duel and would likely kill anyone who tried to hurt his familiar, and third, everyone had seen Hedwig nip Harry and the reproachful looks she gave everyone around her was a clear indication she might do worse to someone she didn't call master.

No one really wanted to lose a finger.

Luna ate contently, appearing to all as the living embodiment of the wisdom Goddess Athena with her owl.

* * *

"Sirius!" Harry called, walking into the kitchen after thanking Kreacher for bringing him.

"Harry!" Sirius cheered, coming at Harry from the corner of the room where he'd been crouched looking at some odd cracks in the wallpaper.

Sirius wrapped him in a tight bear hug, "How are you?"

Harry grinned, "Good, great, wondrous, and apprehensive. You?"

Sirius chuckled, waving him over to the table as he went to the stove. "Better now that you're here. Are you staying for the night or just for dinner?"

"Diner," Harry sighed, "I have Occlumency with Snape tonight."

Sirius made a pained face. "I wish I knew the wards my Mother put on my mind to give to you. Unfortunately, that knowledge is passed down only through the females in our family."

Harry sighed again. "I don't suppose Narcissa Malfoy would help me?"

Sirius shook his head, "Andromeda might but I haven-" He sighed, "I haven't reached out to her."

"How about Tonks?"

Sirius smiled sadly. "Andromeda was all for kicking tradition but it isn't something the Black mothers would teach until and unless their daughters had daughters."

"How do you even know about it then?"

"My mother dearest kept cursing at me that she regretted she couldn't remove my mental shields without killing me."

Harry's eyes widened. "Oh." He pinched his nose, "Your mum sounds even worse than Uncle Vernon."

"She was definitely a charmer."

"She has a boy by the way," Harry said, accepting the grilled cheese Sirius had whipped up.

Sirius frowned. "Who?"

"Tonks. They name him after her dad. My Godson's name, therefore, was Teddy Remus Lupin. I never got to meet him."

Sirius almost dropped his plate. "Wait, back up, you're telling me, my niece, my niece who is thirteen years younger than me, has a baby with Remus?"

"Yep. I think they get engaged in two years. Before the baby."

Sirius sank into his chair. "No kidding," he said a bit dazedly.

"Don't approve?" Harry asked.

"No, I mean, it's fine, the age difference is pushing it a bit, after all, Remus couldn't be described as a young thirty by any stretch of the imagination but it's more- it's just I never saw Moony being in a committed relationship. He doesn't have enough self-worth."

Harry snorted. "He tried running away from her after he knocked her up. I may have lost my temper with him. Next time I saw him he asked me to be Teddy's Godfather all aglow with being a father."

Sirius's face fell, "Didn't you say-"

"Tonks and Remus died at the battle at Hogwarts. So did I, so I get zero godfather points."

"I passed you off to half giant and got myself arrested."

"Yeah, but you're here now," Harry shot back.

"So are you."

Harry looked away and took another bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.

"So, are you going to tell Snape?" Sirius asked between bites of his own sandwich.

"Nope, I am going to shove useless memories in his face until I figure out how to get him out of my mind."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Then he finds out."

"I hate to say this, Harry, but I think we can trust Snape."

Harry made a face. "Why? And don't you dare say _because Dumbledore trusts him_. I would rather tell McGonagall or Pomfrey before Snape."

"I think by now, Snape mistrusts Albus enough and is building a tolerance for you that he might be willing to keep your secrets, even from the Headmaster."

Harry thought of what he had done to Snape Monday morning and highly doubted that Snape had any tolerance for him at the moment. "I suppose I don't really have a choice in the end."

Sirius stood and went back to the stove to make Harry another sandwich. "It will work out. We know at least that Snape isn't on the Dark Lord's side. And it gives me an excuse to pick a fight with the greasy bat if he does try to go blabbing to Albus."

Harry had nothing to say to that and took a deep swig of water.

Returning to the table with two more sandwiches, Sirius asked "Enough about Snape, why were you glowing when you came in?"

"I wasn't glowing," Harry protested.

"You were skipping and had a stupid grin on your face, is that better?"

"I was not skipping."

"Harry," Sirius whined.

"I kissed a girl. Or rather she kissed me and then I kissed her back."

"Ohh- two kisses!" Sirius said, ecstatic, "Was it the Lovegood girl you mention so often in your letters?"

Harry flushed. "Luna."

Sirius barked with delight. "You are head over heels for her, aren't you? Was she a good snog?"

Harry shook his head. "The kiss- kisses- I've never felt like this before. I'm not really sure if I'm in love with her yet, but she's… she's amazing."

Sirius grinned, "Not in love with her _yet_ , oh Harry, you're a goner."

"I think I'm okay with that."

"When did this happen?"

"'Bout two hours ago."

"So why aren't you with her now?"

Harry looked away. "I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing with her."

"How do you mean?"

"The time travel-"

"I thought you have been sharing a ton with her. It is only a matter of time before she figures it out. You trust her, right?"

"More than I trust anyone but you. But that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?"

"Sirius, I am four years older than her. Which isn't a big deal if we were both older but she's only fourteen and I'm technically a legal adult."

Sirius's lips twitched, his shoulders started to shake, and a few moments later he was rolling on the ground with laughter. Barking up a storm.

Harry glared at him. "This isn't funny."

Sirius snorted and laughed on. Between gasps he was finally able to speak in words, "She's-" he sniggers, "-a witch."

"I know she's a witch!" Harry said indignantly. "We go to Hogwarts together!"

Sirius rolled onto his back looking up at Harry still in his chair. Sirius's long curls were spread around him like a dark halo on the wood floors. "She's a witch from an old wizarding family," he said, now coherent. "Harry, witches have gotten engaged before their tenth birthdays. Hell, Harry, my parents were second cousins. They were both Blacks before getting married, their grandparents were siblings. A four-year age gap is nothing, and Harry you may be mentally older but you're still in the body of a fifteen-year-old. Your body is less than a year older than hers. You have nothing to feel weird about."

"But-"

Sirius sat and looked at Harry seriously. "No, you listen to me. I know Xeno from school, he was older than me, so I never shared the same circles as him, but I knew Pandora better. Kind people. Brilliant in their own ways, but neither had a lot of friends. Which I never really understood with Pandora; Pan could enter a room and the air would be sweeter, the lights brighter. I think she intimidated people."

"Why weren't you friends then?"

"She thought I was a git," Sirius said with a grin, unabashed in his troublemaker ways.

"Why would she ever think that?" Harry asked sarcastically, but he was grinning too.

"From your letters and from what you've told me about her, I can tell that Pan's daughter is much of the same and from your letters, I also know that you don't have a friend who makes you happier or someone whose company you enjoy more than Miss Luna Lovegood."

Harry ducked his head, "Yeah."

"So as someone who loves you, I am telling you not to screw this up because of some fabricated problem that doesn't exist. You are not too old in body or mind for this young woman."

"How can you be so sure?" Harry asked, "you've never met her."

"Harry," Sirius sighed. "Someone who watches their mother die at an early age is unlikely to lack maturity."

Harry stared at his empty plate, properly chided, he should have thought of that. Wasn't that why she had been crying last night? Not because some jerks had been picking on her but because she didn't feel like anyone understood her? Because she kept more pain bottled up inside than would ever show on the surface?

"It's okay, Harry… it's okay to let yourself be happy."

Harry looked up at his godfather. "I just don't want to hurt her. I don't know what promises I am ready to make her yet. But it would kill something in me to cause her harm."

Sirius nodded. "Opening our hearts is always a risk, Harry. But don't shut down because things might break down. Ask instead; of all the people you know, who would you want to make mistakes with? Who do you want to grow up with? Who do you want, whether it works in the end or not, to shape you? Romance isn't a game of chance, it's a series of choices and circumstances we invite into our lives."

Harry's shoulders slumped, a small smile blooming on his face. "There is no one I would rather be with than Luna and I _want_ her in my life."

"Then let what happens, happen," Sirius said smiling back.

"I didn't expect you to be this good at girl advice," Harry remarked.

Sirius's eyes turned sad, but his smile remained. "Oh, my personal advice, based on my experiences will have to wait until the conversations where you aren't worried about the girl's- er well, we will get to it in a few years. The heart and flowers advice comes from your Dad. James gave me a long, long talk about the proper way to court a lady once."

"About someone specific?" Harry inquired.

A shadow crossed Sirius's face. "She was murdered a year after we graduated."

"Sirius, I'm sorry-"

Sirius waved Harry's words away. "It's done with. Just don't make my mistake and never talk about your feelings. I know your Luna seems to get you on an instinctual level but she's still a girl and girls like giving emotions voice. I'm not saying you have to write her poetry or any nonsense like that, but if you have worries or fears or tiny, happy, seemingly irrelevant thoughts… sharing those things make them more comfortable, more secure in a relationship. Otherwise, they start guessing and thinking every tiny action you do to death."

"Seriously?" Harry exclaimed, "where were you when I first tried dating?"

Sirius laughed. "This wasn't explained to me by your parents until a girl sent me home smelling like a wasted cherry margarita. Lily would always give these lengthy explanations that I would drift off in and James would translate it later. James was the love guru in the group, though Lil's would always point out that it took him seven years to have a simple conversation with her, to which Prongs would inevitably end up saying, 'Yes, but now you are carrying my spawn, so I win.' Your mother gave him quite a few hex burns while she was pregnant, it's a wonder James survived to see you born at all."

Sirius's eyes drifted off to the past and Harry replayed every word over in his mind like new found treasures. The trick with Sirius was not to ask direct questions too often as he would get sad and melancholy. But sometimes an unprompted Sirius would share anecdotes that turned the fairy-tale figures of his parents into being once living people.

Not really wanting to change the topic but glancing at his watch, Harry knew he would have to leave soon.

"Xeno invited us to their house for Yule."

Sirius's focus sharpened, and his lips tightened. "I'm not sure that is a good idea, Harry."

Harry tried not to let his disappointment show. "That's alright, I'm sure they will understand if we don't go."

Sirius sighed, "It isn't that I wouldn't like to. But the papers will not shut up with the speculation of your one-week disappearance. If you go to your girlfriend's house for Yule, I would not be surprised at all if the Ministry paid the Lovegood's a visit. I don't want to put anyone in those circumstances."

 _Is Luna my girlfriend? I will have to ask her._

Harry nodded. "That's what I told Luna."

"Tell you what though, I'll reach out to old Xenophilius and see if we can't arrange something. Unfortunately, Dumbledore is secret keeper or else I would simply invite them here."

"I understand." He looked at his watch again, "I have to get going or I am going to be late."

Sirius stood as Harry did, giving Harry another bear hug. "Thanks for sharing dinner with me, kiddo."

Harry gave him a half smile. "I will be here so often, you may get sick of me."

"Never," Sirius said, his tone lacking the humor Harry's comment had invited.

* * *

Since returning to the past, Harry had been practicing clearing his mind before going to sleep and controlling his emotions, but as Harry descended the steps to the dungeons alone, the old resentments and fears rose.

He knocked on the door and Snape's come in was sharp.

He's still mad about Monday, Harry thought and had to bite his cheek to keep from entering Snape's lair with a grin.

Snape jabbed a finger at the chair. "I warn you, Potter, I don't care how painful the memories get this time. You will stay until we have made some progress."

Harry kept his mouth shut but all he could think was, but you don't know how bad, bad can get.

"Prepare yourself," Snape instructed with the same amount of careful, detailed instruction he had in the last timeline.

Harry gripped the edge of the chair until his knuckles were modeled white and he was thinking of Monday when Snape's mind delved into his.

 _It was Monday morning. Harry was feeling better than he had ever felt before in his life, at least physically, and he smiled as he entered the Great Hall and saw Madame Pomfrey already seated at the table, watching him closely._

 _He remembered his promise to her and as luck would so have, Snape had entered the Great Hall not far ahead of him._

 _"Sir!" Harry called._

 _Snape turned with a scowl that morphed into outraged shock as Harry wrapped his arms around the taller man with absolutely no regards to self-preservation._

 _Snape hesitated for mere moments before shoving Harry off him._

 _"Thank you for healing me, Professor," Harry said sweetly._

 _Snape snarled at him._

 _Harry laughed, backing up a step before turning to Madame Pomfrey and blowing her a kiss. The Mediwitch had folded in on herself, a slave to her own laughter._

 _Snape stormed to the head table._

 _There were two reactions to Harry hugging Snape. The students looked at him like he was a mental suicide case and the other Professors, at least Flitwick, Minerva, and Pomona immediately started ribbing Snape about growing a heart and inspiring adoration in his students._

 _The look Snape gave Harry promised slow and painful retribution._

The next memory Harry found turned out to be more problematic, as he was unable to push Snape out of his mind. In fact, the professor seemed to have renewed his efforts to break through Harry's meager defenses.

 _Harry was soaring the skies on Buckbeak._

But that memory reminded him of soaring on Thestrals.

 _They were in the Department of Mysteries and Sirius was punching Lucius Malfoy and then Bellatrix was after them._

Harry could feel Snape's shock, his confusion, his curiosity.

 _Harry was soaring on the back of the bank dragon with Ron and Hermione._

Snape pushed further, looking for the why and the how.

 _Harry was using the Imperius curse on a Goblin. Hermione was disguised as Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione was screaming,_ her _tortured screams and Bellatrix's shrieking filtering down into the Malfoy dungeons._

 _Lucius was a crumpled mass at the Dark Lord's feet as Snape and other watched either_ stone faced _or eager._

 _Draco was bleeding, the product of Harry not understanding the spells he'd found in Snape's old potions book._

 _Draco was telling Snape to go screw himself. Snape hissing "I made the unbreakable vow to keep you safe."_

 _Slughorn was giving Harry Liquid Luck._

 _They were back at the Department of Mysteries._

 _Voldemort._

 _The prophecy._

 _Sirius falling into the veil._

 _The DA Club._

 _Dumbledore escaping in a flash of Phoenix flame._

 _The Death Eaters breaking out of prison._

In Snape's shock, in his horror, he had released the spell.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Harry gasped. He was sweating. He would have to tell Snape now.

But Snape didn't wait for an explanation, he raised his wand again and took what Harry might have shared willingly. But this mental torment filled Harry with an old, deep, seething rage.

 _Fine,_ Harry thought at the Professor, _you want to know? Well, here it is._

And rather than pushing Snape out, Harry yanked him in, slamming the door shut behind him. The memories went forward this time.

 _"Avada Kedavra."_

 _Dumbledore was falling, dead before he hit the ground._

 _Snape was fighting off Minerva, whose face was raw with broken fury and sorrow._

 _Nagini was killing Snape._

 _Snape was dying in Harry's arms and sharing with him his memories._

Harry fed those memories back to his professor now, hoping it caused the man pain.

 _He was holding Lily's body, crying as Harry wailed in the crib beside him_

 _Snape was in Dumbledore's office._

 _'"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter —"_

 _"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"_

 _"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"_

 _From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears._

 _"After all this time?"_

 _"Always," said Snape."'_

And then Harry showed Snape the dead. The ruin of the castle.

You want _to know?_ Harry hissed in his mind, _Look, how we failed. Look, what our choices led us to._

 _Body after body. Children's bodies. Unidentifiable figures beneath the stones._

 _And then on Dumbledore's orders, Harry was walking to his own demise. The shades of his loved ones, of Lily leading him forward._

 _"So brave."_

 _"Easier than falling asleep."_

 _Harry did not fight. He let the Dark Lord kill him. The lamb at the altar._

Harry tossed Snape out of his mind. Shoved him out with such force that Snape was physically thrown back.

Harry wasn't the only one shaking this time. Snape looked positively ill.

Harry watched him try to stand before he fell back to his hands and knees. Snape retched on the dungeon floors.

Dumbledore's spy, Voldemort's pet Master Potioneer and double agent, could not stomach the future Harry had lived through.

Harry's rage faded. He hated this man for how he had always treated him, even if Snape had kept him alive, Harry did not by any stretch of the imagination like this man. But Harry did respect him, and seeing him like this, knowing that it had to be a combination of Dumbledore's betrayal, seeing Lily, and the death of countless Hogwarts students that made him lose his composure.

Harry pulled his wand and vanished the sick from the floor, even as Snape stayed on his hands and knees dry heaving.

Harry got the man a glass of water and found a bit of fresh ginger that, after shaving with a clean knife, he was able to squeeze some juice into the water. Harry balanced on the balls of his feet and held out the glass.

"Drink this," Harry instructed his tone not all that sympathetic.

Snape panted, his eyes looking up at Harry. He looked lost.

Slowly he sat back on the floor, reaching out a shaking hand to take the ginger water from Harry's own shaking grasp.

After a long swallow, Snape asked, "How?"

"How did I time travel?" Harry repeated, "no damned clue. But then Vold- the Dark Lord-" Harry corrected himself, "should have been able to kill me as a baby."

"How do you cope?" Snape clarified.

Harry huffed a laugh and sat on the newly cleaned floor. "Being able to go back and correct my mistakes helped a lot. Cedric's alive. So is my godfather. I would be- I don't know if I could even pretend to forgive myself if he wasn't alive."

Snape stared at him with a fathomless expression. "Why does Albus want you dead?"

"Ever hear of a horcrux?"

Almost impossibly, Snape's face went paler. His skin taking on grey undertones.

"Yeah, well the Dark Lord made seven of them. That's why we were breaking into Gringotts by the way."

"But what does a horcrux have to do with you dying?"

Harry tapped his scar, that was a faint white line in this reality. "I was one of the horcruxes. That's how he got access to my mind in the first place. Occlumency didn't help much though, you are a shitty teacher."

Snape didn't even pretend to care.

"So Albus reasoned that by the words of the prophecy, you would both have to die if one was to be defeated?"

"Yep," Harry said, taking his sleeve to wipe at his forehead.

Snape shut his eyes, an expression of pain crossing his features. "That ignorant old fool. There is more than one way to respond to the dark arts. One solution does not solve all."

"That's what Sirius said."

"So, we have to find a way to-"

"It's gone," Harry said shortly. "It didn't survive the trip through time. And the first thing I did when I came back was kill the other ones with the help of house-elves. I confided it all to Flitwick so don't waste your breath saying I shouldn't rely on just my own judgment. For very obvious reasons though I haven't gone to Dumbledore. Oh, and I killed Nagini."

Snape was quiet for a long time before he said, "You can go, Potter."

Harry stood, relieved. "Are you going to tell-"

"No." Snape's voice was harsh, "No, I'm never going to tell that bastard anything ever again. I did what I did for Lily, for you, Lily's son, not for the elaborate schemes of men too large to see the lives they destroy."

Harry retreated, not knowing how to feel, but knowing he wasn't the person to hold Severus Snape's hand as the man's world and his illusions shattered around him.

* * *

AN: So much for no angst but Snape is still living in the shadow of his teenage grudges. And so much for no more chapters this week… I write for my own reasons but please share your thoughts and reactions with me? They are the only reason I post.


	19. Resounding Defeat

AN: Thank you for the reviews! You are all so wonderful and are what gives me the motivation to write as much as I do.

Beta: The Queen of Thornes is a beautiful wonderful person. Many thanks!

Chapter 19 - Resounding Defeat

 _Dear Darling Damsel Daffodil Diary,_

 _I kissed Harry. Harry kissed me._

 _Love Luna_

* * *

Harry did not wake until noon. He woke with a headache and stumbled half blind to the shower. He let the hot water pour on his shoulders for a long while before turning the spray to ice cold. His headache eased but he still felt empty, distant.

Hopefully, he would make it down to the Great Hall in time to perhaps get some food. He saw Luna drinking a cup of tea, angling herself in her seat so she could see the entrance to the Great Hall, so she could see him come in.

The sight of her smiling at him chased away the phantom pain in his mind. He was drawn to her like a small planet pulled by the sun.

But before Harry could make more than halfway to the Ravenclaw table, he was intercepted by Cho.

Harry was forced to stop less he run her over. He barely glanced at her as he tried to walk around her. But she persisted, sidestepping into his path.

Harry halted and half glared at her, "Do you mind?"

"You are trying to sit at my table," she said, a dark look in her brown eyes.

Harry's eyebrows shot up, "You haven't said anything about it before and besides there is no rule that states I can't sit at another house's table." He glanced over Cho's shoulders to give Luna a questioning look.

Luna's expression had gone passive, which worried Harry. And he made to get around Cho once more. Once more she stepped in his way.

"What is your issue?" Harry asked, starting to get frustrated.

"Ask me out" Cho demanded.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, not sure if he had heard her right.

"You like me," she told him.

Harry laughed, "No, I really don't." He backed away from her, not liking her proximity.

Cho flushed but she bulled through his words. "Of course you do. You asked me out to the Yule Ball and I know you have had a crush on me for years. I am beautiful, you are the strongest boy in school. We belong together."

So much for Cho Chang being coy, but then their first date all Cho had done was be jealous of Hermione, talk about her dead boyfriend, and cry. She was as tactless as Ron but with the emotions of Moaning Myrtle. Sure, Harry could cut her slack for losing Cedric, but in this reality, Cedric was alive, and Cho had dumped him.

"I am only going to say this once," Harry said, "I don't like you. I don't want to date you and if you don't leave me alone-"

"You'll what?" She snapped, hands on hips, "You're a gentleman. You would never hurt me."

Harry had no idea how this had escalated to threats. Who threatens someone to date them anyway?

He was saved from answering though because Luna had appeared at his side, the rage in her, now grey, eyes was a beautiful thing to behold.

"He said he wasn't interested," she said icily.

The Great Hall was pretty empty at this point, there were only a smattering of students and at the head table only McGonagall, Vector, and Dumbledore. Everyone's attention was quite focused on Harry, Cho, and Luna.

Cho's face twisted and however pretty she might be, Harry thought she looked quite ugly in that moment. "What does a friendless twit like you understand about boys?"

Harry wasn't sure what he expected Luna to say or do.

Her grabbing him by his tie and tugging him down for a kiss wasn't it, though he was far from complaining. Harry forgot for a few breathless moments where he was, knowing only the gentle, certain touch of Luna's lips.

When they broke apart he had to blink through the daze his mind was basking in. He couldn't remember what he had been talking about before Luna had kissed him.

He stared at Luna's beautiful face as she turned to face the other Ravenclaw girl.

"I know more than you," Luna said pleasantly.

Harry blinked at Cho's dumbstruck face, for a second before his brain caught up, "I'm with Lovegood," he said, grinning like an idiot.

Cho looked like she was about to burst into tears.

 _Human water hose_ , Harry thought caustically.

His chest felt light as Luna led Harry by the hand to the Gryffindor table.

Luna was Harry's favourite person.

Lavender Brown looked at them in disgust, "Her? Of all the girls you could have possibly chosen, you choose her?"

Harry squeezed Luna's hand, "Yes, I chose Luna."

The smile on her face, made him bend down and kiss her temple.

Luna blushed prettily, but she didn't avert her pale blue eyes from his green ones.

"Suppose this means we'll be seeing more of you then?" Ron asked. He was giving Luna an odd look as if trying to figure her out or rather Harry's attraction to her out, but he was not being hostile about it.

"Or even less," Hermione said sadly.

"Harry's been avoiding you because you remind him of things he cannot change while making him feel bad about the things that have changed," Luna said.

"What does that even mean?" Ron asked her.

But Hermione was looking at Harry.

Harry met her gaze, her dark brown eyes.

"You changed over the summer," Hermione stated.

"I did."

"Why?"

Harry took in a deep breath, "I can't tell you here." I can't tell you ever.

Luna squeezed his hand tightly, grounding him. "You should eat. Odin's ravens are perched on your shoulders."

Harry picked up his fork and dug in.

* * *

"Do you even understand what she's saying?" Ron asked on their way to quidditch practice.

"Most of the time," Harry said.

"How could you date someone you don't understand fully?"

Harry gave Ron a smirk. A part of Harry hoped Ron never dated Hermione, but if they did Harry would be sure to remind him of this talk. "The idea of understanding someone _fully_ is sort of farfetched, seeing as everyone is always changing."

"You are starting to sound like her," Ron muttered and then in clearer voice asked, "Do you believe in Nargles and all the other rubbish she spots?"

"Not all of it, but even if she's wrong about what something is, I haven't found that she has been wrong a single time about something being there."

"Do you think she's a seer?" Ron asked.

"No," Harry said, firmly, "she's just the most observant person I've ever met."

"She didn't observe who stole her things."

"I didn't say she was superhuman, Ron."

"You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Ginny is going to be crushed," Ron mused.

Harry wasn't able to control his expression in time.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Harry, come on, what's up?"

"Oi!"

It was the twins.

"We heard-" George started.

"-you've been kissing-"

"Loony-

"Lovegood in the Great Hall," Fred finished.

"He has but I want to know why he's mad at Ginny," Ron said cutting the twins off.

"Mad at Ginny?" Fred repeated, taken aback. "Why would ickle-Harrikins be mad at Ginny?

"Is that why she's been so glum lately?" George asked. "She got a letter from Mum and has barely talked since."

Harry felt nervous. He didn't want to have the entire Weasley clan against him and attacking Ginny was the number one way to accomplish that.

"You look worried, Harry," George noted.

"Spill," Ron said, "You can keep whatever secrets you like about everything else but not about our sister."

Harry sighed. "I might have thrown a person at her."

"What?" Fred said flatly.

George was glaring at him.

Ron looked confused, "A person? But why?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair, "A seventh year Ravenclaw girl, another fourth year Gryffindor, and Ginny ganged up on Luna."

"What?" Fred and Ron spluttered, eyes wide, "Ginny would never do that."

But George looked resigned, "Ganged up on her how?"

"They cornered her against a wall. Ginny told her to stay away from me. The other two started, well, they accused Luna of being my whore and- I snapped. It was lucky I only used a stunner and a levitation charm. I was so, so angry. Luna hadn't even raised her wand to defend herself."

"Ginny and Luna were friends," George said softly.

"Friends don't push you up against a wall and start belittling your character," Harry said, trying very hard to hold his temper.

"You threw Gena into Ginny?" Fred asked. "They were both okay though, right?"

"Yeah," Harry said, almost keeping the note of disappointment out of his voice.

"Is that all?" Ron asked, out of the three of them, he knew Harry's temper best.

"I swore at her."

"It was just a girl fight, Harry," Fred defended.

Harry glared at him, "No, it wasn't Fred. I nearly had to carry Luna away from them because she could barely stand she was so upset. You've seen her in Owl Studies. There are few that could keep up with her. But she wouldn't raise her wand at Ginny."

"But you would," Fred shot at him.

"To keep Luna safe, I would do it again. I hate bullies and I don't care if she's your baby sister that doesn't give her a free pass to hurt people."

"But you hurt Ginny," Fred pushed.

"Ginny can take care of herself. She has two parents who love her, six older brothers, and a load of friends. Luna has only her dad and me with an entire school of students constantly after her. Housemates who steal her things and do Merlin knows else what."

Fred opened his mouth to protest, but George tugged on his arm, "Leave it, Fred."

The twins left, leaving Ron to shift from foot to foot unhappily.

"Did Luna cry?"

Harry nodded.

Ron looked off into the distance. "Luna was always following me and Ginny around. She was- she changed after her mum died. I didn't know how to talk to her after that, and Ginny, well, Ginny was always bossy."

"I would have rather not had to confront your sister."

Ron opened his mouth to say something then glared at what he saw ahead of him. "What's she doing here?"

By she, Ron meant Umbridge who was talking to Angelina and Alicia. Both girls were spitting mad and Harry turned on his heel.

"Oi, where are you going?" Ron asked him.

"Nobody is taking my broom," Harry said, "not today."

Ron hesitated for a few seconds before following Harry.

Umbridge did not notice them.

* * *

"I thought you two would be at quidditch practice," Hermione remarked as Harry and Ron sat at the table in the library.

Hermione was often found in the library these days with Susan, Astoria, and Luna, today was no different.

"Umbridge is shutting down the clubs and teams," Harry said.

Ron's eyes narrowed, "How do you know that? We didn't get close enough to hear."

Astoria shoved a poster at Ron, "She put them up at lunch."

Ron read the decree, his face going white with anger, "That vile toad. She can't do this."

"McGonagall will sort it out soon enough," Harry said. Pulling out a textbook and sighing.

Luna touched his hand. "If she does take your broom we can always ride the Hippogryphs and Thestrals."

Harry smiled at her, but his heart was heavy. Decree after decree had arrived and Harry knew how bad it might get.

Umbridge might not be able to give out detentions but there was plenty she could do to make life at Hogwarts difficult. Not to mention that the BBCE was getting harder and harder to keep secret. With almost half of the student body attending, Harry had found teaching more difficult and the space unsatisfactory.

"What are you thinking about, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I am thinking there are too many people in Owl Studies."

She nodded, "I've been thinking that too. And I think I have a solution though it will be more work for you."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Nothing new there. What's your idea?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we ought to split the group in half. Fifth years and younger in one group and sixth years and seventh years in the other. It is more work for you and well, I don't think we- that is Ron, Susan, Astoria, Luna, or I should attend the classes with the sixth and seventh years, so it fair to the others."

Harry was quiet for a moment, mulling it over and running his thumb over the side of Luna's hand, her skin was soft. Slowly Harry nodded. "There are some people in the fifth year that could advance, but I think your right, to keep it fair it would best to keep them ordered by years. Plus, I could push the sixth and seventh years more, they really have more potential than they let on."

"I still can't believe so many Slytherins joined up," Ron said.

"I am surprised they listen to me," Harry agreeing with Ron's sentiment. He didn't dislike the Slytherins but after years of- of Slytherin versus everyone else and against everything Harry stood for it was surprising.

"It's because you showed us respect," Astoria said. "We don't have to like you to see that you are smart and talented."

"You like Harry," Susan teased.

Astoria smacked the Hufflepuff girl on the shoulder, "Not like Luna does."

Susan grinned at Harry and Luna, "Glad you two finally came to your senses. Astoria and I were going to start matchmaking if you didn't figure it out soon."

"No. _I_ would never do something so childish," Astoria said resolutely.

Susan and Harry sniggered.

Astoria glared at them.

"It was growing rather obvious," Hermione noted with a small smile.

"Even I noticed," Ron chimed in.

"The rumour mill is aflutter with it," Hermione said. "You better both watch your backs. Harry broke a lot of hearts."

"Their hearts can't be broken because to them Harry is a trophy. Harry isn't a prize to be won, he's a person to aspire to earn the respect of," Luna said a bit harshly.

Hermione stared at Luna, astounded that the girl could make sense. "I agree with you."

"Yeah, yeah, Harry's the lady's man," Ron muttered.

"Or Luna is the gentleman's woman," Susan said grinning. "Astoria and I had a bet going. It was Luna who kissed you first, right Harry?"

Harry grinned back and said, "Yep."

"Bollocks," Astoria cursed, reaching into her bag. "Should never have counted on a Gryffindor's bravery, fickle gits."

"Oh, I wasn't betting against Harry's bravery," Susan said, smirking as she took the chocolate frogs from Astoria. "I was betting on Luna being the more sensible of the two."

Luna was smiling at the group of people around her, the warm hand holding hers. She was happier than she could remember since before her mother passed on. Her future was no longer a barren path with only the dream of a better future ahead. She was truly happy right now, in this very moment, and she wasn't alone.

* * *

 _Dearest Harry,_

 _My apologies this letter has taken me so long to send to you. I knew not the words that I could give you that you might understand and that others would be without such understanding_

 _I think Fawkes was right to approve._

 _I think pebbles are best left among rocks._

 _As the time of merriment approaches, I am pleased to say that the sun shines brighter._

 _Luna has only the best things to say about you. I do hope to meet you for myself very soon._

 _Warmest Regards,_

 _Xeno_

 _P.S. Thank you for standing against those who let their ignorance guide their actions._

* * *

It was Sunday night and a rather sloshed Severus Snape had no interest in teaching dunderheads in the morning.

Severus had every intention of resigning his position at Hogwarts. What reason was there for him to stay now?

He took another swig of fire whiskey.

 _Damn them._

Though Severus was not quite sure who he was damning, himself probably. He was after all the sorriest excuse for a human being.

A loud knock came on his door.

"GO AWAY!" Severus roared, partially because he wanted to yell and partially because he was far enough away from the door that his voice would not have been heard otherwise.

The door opened of its own volition.

"I cursed that door," Severus muttered darkly as four people entered his apartment suite.

"Well, you look like shite," Sirius Bloody Black said cheerily, swaggering past Minerva and helping himself to a glass of Severus's liquor.

Severus's growled at him, snatching the bottle away from the criminal and cradling it.

Black growled right back, though his was more animalistic and more impressive. Black easily snatched the bottle from Severus's inebriated hands.

Severus fumbled for his wand, but Minerva shook her head at him. "Leave it, Severus we have important matters to discuss."

Poppy walked over to Severus's kitchen cabinet, easily finding his sobering potion that he had modified to not leave you with a headache.

"I am not sobering up," Severus slurred.

"Oh, be reasonable," Minerva chided, "This is not a respectable condition for a man of your standing."

"I don't care," Severus snarled menacingly, or he tried to, the effect was lost as his words slurred.

"I tried to drink myself to oblivion afterward as well for a night or two," Filius said regretfully. "It didn't help. It isn't a story that can be logically dismissed."

"Logic," Severus scoffed, "when has logic ever played a part in any of our lives? Least of all when it concerns him."

"What are you talking about?" Minerva asked.

"Harry," Black answered taking a deep drink and belching fire.

"Drink this," Poppy said, trying to push the bottle of sobering potion on the depressed Slytherin.

Severus hunched in on himself, ignoring her.

"Don't be stubborn."

"He's not being stubborn," Filius said. "He's trying to cope."

"Cope with what?" Minerva demanded. "What is so important that we all need to discuss this at this hour without Albus?"

"He deserves to burn," Severus said, staring into the fire, "old fool should have retired decades ago."

"Mr. Snape," Minerva scolded.

"Minerva, Poppy, sit," Filius said kindly. "Let the man be until we've recounted the story than by all means, if you don't feel like joining him, we can sober him up to discuss what is to be done."

Poppy sighed, resigned she sat on the couch beside Black.

"Done about what? And whose story?" Minerva asked. She remained standing and glaring at the lot of them. "And why isn't Pomona here?"

"Too many dead children," Severus said hollowly.

"What did you say?" Minerva gasped.

"No one wants to tell Sprout about the almost certain doom of Hogwarts. Not even if we are able to avert it," Black said.

Filius nodded.

"What are you talking about?" Poppy asked, cold down to her bones.

"Filius and I have decided that the two of you need to know the full truth of what's been going on with Harry," Black explained.

"Starting, I hope with why he used a killing curse at his own skull," Poppy said drily.

Minerva spun to gape at the Mediwitch and shouted, "WHAT!?"

"Sit Minerva, sit and we will tell you what we know and then we will discuss how to keep our children safe," Filius urged her.

Minerva sank into a straight back chair she had summoned. "Albus should be here."

"No," Severus and Black said in perfect unison, "he shouldn't be."

Filius and Black told the story. Black had more details. Severus listened numbly as he nursed his glass of fire whiskey.

In the end, Minerva was in tears of rage and Poppy was crying out of pure sorrow. Both witches remained straight backed and restrained through the whole of the story if only because if young Mr. Potter had lived through it, they could listen without falling to pieces.

"It wasn't a dream," Poppy said, her voice wane. "He took the killing curse."

"He died," Severus said, speaking for the first time since story-time had started. "He died twice."

Black poured everyone a drink.

"Albus," Minerva said, her tone indescribable with the myriad of emotions trapped in those two syllables.

"I am glad Harry broke the Headmaster's wand," Filius said blandly.

"What are we going to do?" Poppy asked.

"We are going to finish what Potter started," Severus said, his eyes never leaving the flames in the hearth.

"What?" Poppy asked, her voice weak and uncertain.

"We are going to kill the Voldemort," Black said.

Severus didn't twitch a muscle.

"What are we going to do about Albus?" Minerva asked.

"Nothing," Filius said, "nothing but ensure that he never interferes with Harry's life again, that we make sure he does his job and only his job. There will be no more trusting Albus Dumbledore blindly to know best, to do the right thing."

They were all in agreement. Such powerful people, informed and unified in a single purpose; it wasn't only Dumbledore and Voldemort that ought to be worried. Any person or party, the Ministry of Magic included, that sought to endanger the lives of the students at Hogwarts had best be prepared for a resounding defeat.

* * *

AN: I feel like my titles make me a bit of a git. Oh well. Not a lot of action but I needed a transition chapter. Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought and what you want more of?

P.S. This version of Snape will remain an asshat but the straight up bullying is going to be notched down. Think surly neighbor who hates kids, noise, and people, but would help you rebuild your roof if a tree falls on it.


	20. Feeling Stupid

**WARNING:** So if you haven't figured out that this story is a character based one with the biggest issues being social rather than action fight scenes then be warned. I am sick of calling mental quandaries angst. Angst is unnecessary self-doubt and childish emotions, I like to deal with the real, or potentially real fall out emotions of what human beings do to one another and themselves. I would classify this as more a drama/mystery.

Beta: Long live the Queen of Thornes! Many thanks.

* * *

Chapter 20 - Feeling Stupid

Luna ran towards Harry, his back was to her and his hands clasped behind him. His shoulders were oddly set and he was staring out the window.

For some reason she could not even explain to herself, she slowed, walking a wide circle around him until she could see his profile.

His face was arrogant and cruel, he stared out at the Hogwarts grounds with a possessive smirk, as if he were a God and the world at his feet was his to raze to the ground or build anew.

He was not wearing glasses. When he turned to face her, his were eyes red and slitted like a snake's, any doubt she might have that this was her Harry, vanished.

"Who are you?" she asked.

He reached up one pale, pale as bone she now noticed hand to his forehead, touching the zigzag scar that immediately began to bleed, blood spilled down the side of his face. The Not-Harry smiled manically at her, even as the trailing blood breached the line of his lips, coloring his teeth.

"Who are you!?" Luna demanded again.

"Your beloved," he answered in a sickly-sweet tone she had never heard before and never wanted to hear again. He raised a single orange phoenix feather at her.

"You are not my Harry," Luna said holding her ground against the monster before her.

"Of course not," he said easily, swilling the feather around as if casting a spell in slow motion. "He was never _your_ Harry. You cannot lose what was never yours, my dear. You see Harry Potter belongs to me, he will always be mine to give reason to, to punish, to possess, and to destroy."

He brushed the feather against his temple.

"Who. Are. You," Luna asked raising her wand at the madman before her.

"My sweet," he grinned at her slyly, and she saw beneath the mask, she saw something withered and twisted and foul. "I am one without name."

And it seemed right that he had no name because he was no longer a he, he was an it. And it was something that did not belong here and did not deserve to be in Harry's body.

"I will give you one warning," she said in an arctic tone, "Leave."

It laughed, a parasite, feeding off the death of light.

"No, sweet darling, this is your first and last warning, I-"

In the way of dreams and nightmares, Luna awoke before the imagined confrontation had reached a resolution.

She was standing in a dim corridor the windows overlooked the dark outdoors, it was the same one from the nightmare though it was no longer daylight. The stars were out twittering to one another in their cold flickering light between immeasurable expenses of bottomless space.

Luna watched those stars trying to reply the nightmare, to solve it, to commit it to memory but the images fled her mind like fickle wisps leading unattended children beyond sight of home or rescue. She was left with a disturbing sensation along her skin as if some oily spectre had licked her cheek and the idea that Harry was in danger.

The first breath of light was beginning to dim the brilliance of the stars. It was late, or it was early, too earlier to see Harry who was more than probably alright.

Luna began the journey back to her dorm. She did not use Lumos though she held the wand tightly in her hand as she walked. Luna was not afraid of the dark, after all, rare was the darkness that was purely without light, and her eyes quickly adjusted to the ambient light in the corridors.

She was wearing her nightgown but she was glad she had gotten her shoes back as sleepwalking without shoes had been cold and rather unpleasant.

The Ravenclaw door knocker asked, "Is it easier to tell a pleasant lie or a selfish one?"

"That would depend," Luna answered softly, "on if you are a nice sort of person or mean spirited one."

The door swung open and Luna entered the common room. She made it into her room as she had left it, without waking anyone.

She pulled her diary from her bedside table to write in an entry. But the moment she put her quill to paper she realized her hand was shaking. The page would remain blank but for ink splashes and salted water marks as Luna desperately searched her mind for a dream that had observed more than her conscious mind had acknowledged.

* * *

Harry didn't see Luna at breakfast and when he asked one of her roommates about it the answer was a clipped, "She's doing homework in bed." But as Harry knew that Luna had already finished her homework this statement was not altogether believable which would be the theme of the day.

Snape was angrier and somehow less snippish for their morning class. At one point, Harry would have sworn Snape had been about to snarl at a table when he bumped into it. The fact that Snape was ready to curse an inanimate table was not nearly as surprising as him biting back his insults at the Gryffindors or the lack of interest he paid his Slytherins.

Draco and Harry began exchanging worried glances as Snape, half way through class began muttering inaudibly to himself.

When the bell rang the students fled, Slytherins and Gryffindors alike, Neville head of the pack, his potions kit grasped awkwardly in his arms. Snape hadn't insulted a single student, not once, the result of which was comparable to trying to stuff paper napkins into the barrel of a cannon with a lit fuse. You knew the canon was going to blow and stuffing the barrel just increased the chances of the thing blowing up in your face, not slowing it in the least.

* * *

In Arithmancy, Harry was relieved to see Luna, but was disheartened when she wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Luna-" he started

Her eyes shot to his, his words freezing in his throat. The look she gave him was -odd. He waited under that gaze waited for her to say something.

She only nodded at him.

Today was an in-class exam so their group was not able to chat as they normally would.

Between writing down his answers, he kept glancing up at Luna worriedly. But her focus remained on the paper before her.

When the bell rang, Harry walked in step with her, not knowing if he was supposed to press her for answers.

"Harry," she said, taking his hand.

He squeezed it as the exited the class, and he was able to fully use his lungs again.

"Harry," she said, again, "Something is wrong."

Harry frowned, "Between us?"

"No," she said, staring ahead of them with a distant look that was distant even for Luna. Her eyes flashed to him again, to his scar, "There is something wrong with you."

A tight knot cinched inside the core of him, Harry tried to pull his hand from hers.

But she held on, running a thumb over one of his knuckles. "I can't remember what I know, but it was wrong and, -Harry I can't remember, it was something important."

Harry stopped trying to pull away from her, but he still felt uneasy. "What's wrong, Luna? And what can't you remember?"

"My nightmare," she said evenly.

Harry pulled them into an alcove and wrapped her in his embrace.

She clung to him. "I'm sorry," she muttered into his robes.

"It's alright, Luna."

"No, it isn't, Harry, it was important," she insisted pushing back so she could look up into his face.

Harry saw the trepidation on her face and asked, "Was it a nightmare or a vision?"

She shook her head, almost violently, "I am not a seer but it was more than a dream, Harry, it was more than a dream."

Harry hugged her again, holding her tight and whispered her ear, "If it was a dream then there was nothing in your mind that you did not already know or could not imagine again."

She held onto and asked in a small voice, "But what if I don't recognize it in time?"

"Whatever comes, Luna, we will deal with it when it arrives," was the only answer Harry could think of that wasn't a lie.

* * *

Harry was late to DADA class and the moment he opened the door, he realized he should have skipped because the first thing Umbridge did was call him to the front of the class.

"Ah Mr. Potter, you have decided to grace us with your presence." Her words were passive aggressive, but her tone was light, which instantly put Harry on high alert.

"As I understand it, Mr. Potter," she began as Harry got closer to the front of the class, "you are the top student in this subject."

Harry nodded, wary of the smile growing on Umbridge's face.

"Well perhaps you would like to teach today's lesson?" she asked nicely.

Harry gaped at her, this was a trap, this had to be a trap. But his classmates were gossiping with one another giving Harry pleading looks to _please, please show Umbridge up._

So, with his most Gryffindorish bravado, he squared his shoulders and said, "I certainly think I can teach better than you."

She extended her hand, indicating for him to take his place behind the podium.

 _It's a trap! It's a trap!_ His mind berated him.

But he took three bold steps into Umbridge's teaching space and instantly regretted it. He felt the invisible wards and their compulsion the instant he crossed their threshold.

"Very good, Mr. Potter," Umbridge purred, flipping open the textbook on the podium. "You can give the class a short lecture on last week's chapters."

Harry stared at the book in front of him.

He could not read the words.

He felt like an absolute imbecile. The words did not move, the sat impassively on the page and Harry recognized them but for the life of him he could not draw up their meaning.

Harry stared and stared, a cold sweat forming above his lips, his lower back, and his hands grew clammy.

 _Why can't I read the words? I can't even make out the title._

He tried to sound out the syllables in his mind but the moment he had one his focus would skip to the next and he could remember the first. Useless. He felt useless. He couldn't read.

"Having trouble reading, Mr. Potter?" Umbridge asked snidely.

Instead of anger, Harry felt shame.

Someone sniggered, Harry looked up at the students, they were all watching him, waiting on him. He had taught them before and he was the better teacher, but he suddenly felt very small and foolish.

 _Why did I imagine I could do this?_

He looked down at the page again, willing the words himsrlh to read the words he knew. That he knew he knew. But he didn't. If someone would but read the words out loud for him, if they could be but named he could understand them. But his mind had grown weary of trying to make sense of the printed letters and was looking at the white spaces between the words that seemed to rise off the paper and chase patterns around the lines that ceased to be letters and were now but black shapes.

"Surely," Umbridge taunted him, "you of all people are not afraid of speaking in front of people. Perhaps my fellow colleagues overestimate your abilities if you can't even read."

Again, Harry knew he should be furious, but as -Pansy and Lavender giggled, Harry felt only a fresh wash of embarrassment.

He was suddenly back in fifth grade standing before his science class. His project had been about types of plants that can grow in dim light, aka under the stairs so he could hide them from Aunt Petunia. Harry had successfully grown two plants from seeds he had bought from the extra food money Harry had stolen.

Dudley had ripped off all the leaves on the bus and thrown them out the window so that when Harry presented to the class he had nothing but cups of dirt with green twigs. Harry had no way to defend himself against the teacher's beratement without getting in trouble with his Aunt and Uncle. Dudley and his gang had pointed, geared, and laughed. The teacher had hushed them, but she was forced to give Harry a bad mark and a disappointed look. Harry had liked her and had hated her disappointment more than the bad grade.

Harry did not like Umbridge, but he did like his classmates and he wanted their respect. So, with a monumental effort, he focused his attention back on the text, his mind narrowing in on the image provided. An image of a jet water coming out of a wand.

 _That was easy, why didn't I see that before?_

Harry didn't need to read this book he knew how to cast Aguamenti and nearly every use for it as a means of defense or even offense. He could bullshit his way through this no sweat.

The moment he opened his mouth, however, it proved to not be that easy. "Aquilimenta-"

The class gaped at him, and his butchering of the pronunciation.

Crabbe and Goyle roared with laughter.

Things did not improve from there. Harry felt short of breath and spoke in run on sentences, with slurred words and half pronounced syllables. He had no idea why he tried to keep going, pure stubbornness?

A few people laughed, but the majority looked at him in horror and as the catastrophe continued between breathy gasps and um and uh, people like Hermione began cringing at his pronunciation and his grammar.

Umbridge began to interrupt him to correct his grammar and pronunciation every other word.

Harry felt his cheeks flush and whatever compulsion he was under he was able to fight it to a standstill. He kept his mouth sealed shut and the anger that should have been directed at Umbridge was turned inwards like a thousand blades stabbing into his vital organs at rapid speed.

Regret for having spoken, regret for not following his own advice that this was indeed a trap. Worry that he really was as stupid as he felt that he was in this moment.

None of Umbridge's taunts garnered any outward response from Harry, other than his ears coloring.

Not that Harry could have talked then even if he had wanted to, his tongue was lead and running away seemed like the smartest idea.

Reluctantly, Umbridge let Harry go back to his seat. His knees were wobbly and his sweat chilled in a sticky sensation on his skin. He felt violated and disgusting inside and out. He sat stiffly in his seat, trying to ignore the muttering and the pitying looks around him. He wanted to hide, but instead, he just stared numbly ahead, unable to block out the words he heard, of the students questioning what was wrong with him and Umbridge picking apart the substance of his sabotaged lecture.

The moment the bell rang Harry was out of his seat, shrugging off anyone who tried to talk to him. He went straight for the owlery.

Harry climbed out one of the windows so he could sit on a ledge out of sight of anyone who might come to the owlery. He welcomed the cold as he tried to cool down from the self-loathing, embarrassment, and only distantly his hatred of Umbridge.

Hedwig sat on his shoulder, preening his hair, trying to make order of the mess that was Harry Potter.

* * *

AN: I promise this all plot relevant. The scene is Umbridge getting even with Harry with a ward that caused him to freeze up. Nothing like a little public humiliation, that will be pretty hard for the other teachers to prove was the Toad's doing.

P.S. I know cannon Harry was able to shrug off the imperious curse, my theory is it would be harder to throw off not being able to complete basic tasks such as reading or speaking and as I believe that at heart Harry will always be somewhat of a shy person, embarrassment like this would have hit a lot of sore spots that predate Hogwarts.

 **KEYNOTE:** Once Harry sobers up, he is going to be pissed off.


	21. Not Dead Yet

**KEYNOTE:** Only Lavender, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle were laughing. Everyone was muttering afterwards because everyone realized something was wrong.

AN: Well guess I disappointed with the last chapter. Not everything is going to work out perfectly for every chapter dearest readers.

To BMS for the positivity. Endless thanks.

* * *

Chapter 21 - Not Dead Yet

Harry was in Flitwick's office. Harry wasn't made he was furious. He wanted to know what Umbridge had done to him and feed her to Hagrid's brother.

Evil woman.

After Harry explained the circumstances to Flitwick, the Head of Ravenclaw house was equally incensed.

"It was not your fault," the small angry professor said.

"But why couldn't I throw it off!?" Harry nearly roared.

Flitwick summoned a few books from his collection, "It is not the same as a mind-cont-"

"But I can throw off the Imperius!"

"Yet you can't shield your mind as of yet with occlumency."

Harry nearly bit off his tongue and was calmer when he answered, "It isn't the same."

"Isn't?" Flitwick asked, flipping through pages. "Dolores didn't breach your mind with hers, didn't command your actions. She altered your perception of a book, she increased your feelings of embarrassment and self-doubt. She made a ward that inhibits a person's ability to use language."

Flitwick pushed a book over to Harry, the page detailing exactly what Harry had experienced. Harry looked for the counter action.

 _Walk out of the circle._

 _Blow a hole in the ward, breaking the circle._

 _Stay silent._

 _This ward can be overridden with time but the effects can last for up to twenty-four hours once the witch or wizard leaves the circle. Muggles may suffer long term effects._

"But I wasn't able to override it," Harry said.

"You said you were able to stay quiet within fifteen minutes, that you have recovered in two hours rather than the customary twenty is a testament to your strength," Flitwick urged.

Harry shook his head, "It shouldn't have affected me at all."

"Harry," Flitwick sighed, taking off his spectacles so he could rub his eyes. "Hundreds of politicians have had to go through this. Can you even imagine what wizards and witches do to one another during elections? Surely you don't think the only corruption in the wizarding world is dark magic or money? There are thousands of spells and charms and wards that are designed to undermine people. This one isn't altogether uncommon, a trained Auror would have deactivated the ward before anyone stepped through it. Your mistake is falling for the bait. You should have known it was a trap."

Harry's jaw set, a part of him was too angry to acknowledge his reasoning, another part of him that had been twisting with regret burned at the reprimand. "I should have been able to throw off her compulsion," he said stubbornly.

Flitwick sighed again, a bit exasperated, "And have you recovered fully from this weekend?"

"What?" Harry asked confused.

"Severus tells us you were able to hold him in your mind, shove memories down his throat, before shoving him out again."

Harry shifted on his feet, "I feel fine."

"Really?" Flitwick asked, "because trapping another person's consciousness in your mind, controlling, traumatic memories, and repelling a fully grown wizard with enough force to physically throw him across a room must have been a simple task."

Harry would not meet Flitwick's shrewd gaze.

"Harry, you must allow yourself room to make mistakes. You will not always be in the right. Surviving a war and time travelling does not make you all knowing. You have changed so much in this timeline already I would advise you not to rely too much on your insights into the future. You told me what Dolores did last time, but she was the one with power then, having her in a corner is going to make her more dangerous not less so."

"Is Umbridge going to get in trouble for this?"

"I will talk to Minerva and together we will confront Albus but-"

"Dumbledore is going to help me, not now."

"He might."

Harry shot Flitwick a look.

Flitwick sighed again. "Harry, I am sorry this has happened to you, no student should be tormented by their professor."

"Yeah well, it doesn't seem to work out that way for me, not for the DADA position anyway. Even Lupin tried to eat me once."

The conversation pretty much ended there and Flitwick gave Harry the book with the ward Umbridge had used.

* * *

"Harry!" a group of people called the moment he walked through the portrait hole into his common room.

All the fifth years plus a few others were waiting for him.

Hermione was the first to speak and she spoke in one breathless stream, "Oh that evil cow, Harry, she cursed you, or it was a charm or a ward but we all know it wasn't you. We know you can teach, everybody does and she was just so cruel-"

Harry gave her a half smile holding out the book he brought for her, "I know. Page forty-seven."

"I am so sorry Harry!" Hermione said, even as she seized the book and began flipping through the pages. "I should have said something."

"We all should have," Ron said, "It was just so unexpected and I was waiting for you to shrug it off like you always do."

"But you didn't," Dean said, "and that woman is a sadistic leech. I wasn't sure what to call her out on. But like Hermione said, none of us believed it was you. You are the best DADA professor any of us have ever had."

"I'm sorry, Harry," Lavender sniffled. Clearly, the others had turned on her because she was giving everyone wary glances as they glared at her. "I thought it was funny but I should not have."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," Fred snarled.

Harry was warmed by his classmates' outrage on his behalf.

"Eww-" Hermione exclaimed, "this ward is nasty. Why would anyone use this?"

"Flitwick said it is something politicians use on one another," Harry said.

"I am never going to work for the government," Ron declared.

"Umbrat wants to play hardball," George said darkly.

"We will give her something to shove down her throat," Fred finished.

Harry had given them his winnings from the Triwizard tournament and thinking of the swamp and fireworks from last time, he could only hope they would come up with something even more extravagant and permanent this time.

* * *

The next morning it wasn't the twins who got to Umbridge, it was Dobby.

Midway through breakfast Umbridge's food exploded in her face, watery eggs, bacon, and tea staining her pink outfit. She fell out of her chair trying to beat of an English muffin that was -by all appearances, trying to eat her face off.

The entire Great Hall burst into helpless laughter, many at the Gryffindor table were whooping for joy.

None of the Hogwarts professors tried to help, eventually, Dumbledore stood from his seat and deactivated the man eating English muffin.

To which the twins chorused, "No! Feed the muffin!"

Umbridge was a disheveled mess, her face covered in little scratches, egg, and other greasy food ingredients. She hobbled her way out of the Great Hall, having twisted her ankle to heckling and derisive cheering from the Hogwarts students.

A few might have laughed at Harry but they all laughed at Umbridge.

* * *

Harry and Luna snuck out of the castle a few days later under the invisibility cloak to the Forbidden Forest.

Today, they were going to find the hippogryph herd that had so far eluded their explorations to the forest. Harry had asked permission to have some of Hagrid's dead ferrets. Hagrid being Hagrid, did not tell Harry to stay out of the forest, in fact, that night he had formally introduced Harry to Grawp.

It took them an hour to find the herd, Luna following a path Harry could not see but he trusted her lead. Besides he knew where the spiders were.

The first thing they did when they got there was to divvy out the ferrets to the horse birds.

Next, they bowed to the closest, biggest hippogryph of the lot. A great dove-grey beast with white speckles and blue-green luminous eyes.

The hippogryph bowed back to them. Luna approached the bird talking sweetly to it. Harry removed his glove so he could stroke it's soft feather neck. It made a clicking purring noise and turned his head. It rubbed that great big head along the length of his body, almost knocking him over.

Luna laughed, from where she had already nimbly mounted the hippogryph.

Harry grinned at and walked under the hippogryphs wing. Taking Luna's proffered hand he was able to get his seat behind her.

The hippogryph launched them into the skies and Harry felt as he always did in the skies, as if he were free.

He wrapped his arms around Luna's waist, putting his chin on her shoulder. He felt warm between the heat Luna and the hippogryph were emitting despite the frigid air and the snowy ground growing ever more distant below their feet.

"Winter break is coming soon," Harry said as they glided over the forest.

"It will be good to be warm again," Luna said back, having to talk a bit louder in order for him to hear her.

"Didn't your godfather tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"We are going to be vacationing in France. Muggle France too, so aside from Sirius's hair and yours nobody will notice us," she said.

Harry pressed his cheek to her and repeated, "Sirius, your dad, you, and I are going to be vacationing, together, in France?"

She turned to see him and she grinned, "Yep."

Harry kissed her. Happiness embraced them both as they soared into the cold clouds.

* * *

Voldemort was perilously close to discovering a way through Lily Potter's ward. Old magic indeed. So rare that one of Dumbledore's people should mess around with blood and death magic. But the same wards she had used on her darling son had been in the very books he had been reading that informed a person how to corrupt souls, to not only take over another person's body but replace them.

A man screamed. Nott, one of his most trusted followers lived on the outskirts of society, living off his old family money. Drinking, sulking, unable to fulfill his purpose in serving his Lord Voldemort.

Well, he need not wait any longer.

Nott screamed again as Voldemort left his husky half alive body in a blooming mist of black smoke and rushed into Nott's mouth, nose, ears, eyes, seeping into his brain like a toxin.

When next Nott opened his eyes, it was Lord Voldemort who looked out of them.

Voldemort stood tall, a body, a true body at last. If only he had been able to do this fourteen years ago.

"M'Lord?" Wormtail asked brittly, a spark of hope in his eyes that it hadn't worked, that Lord Voldemort had failed shined in his beady eyes.

"Wormtail," Voldemort said, in a deep, malvalent voice.

Wormtail shuddered and handed the phoenix feather wand to his master. Which Voldemort immediately turned on his pathic servant.

" _Crusio_ ," he said lazily.

Wormtail hit the ground wailing.

Voldemort smiled, _oh sweet victory._ He had just come fully back into his power and no one would know. No one was ready for him.

He would take out the Potter boy before anything else. Killing Nagini was unforgivable. Yet from the rumours his pets had gathered, Harry Potter had grown quite popular, quite strong at Hogwarts. If Voldemort could maneuver his way into Potter's body then he might have a whole school of Death Eaters, a whole generation on his side.

He let up on the curse on Wormtail and asked, "Nott has a son in Potter's year, doesn't he?"

Wormtail whimpered.

Voldemort kicked him where it hurts. "Tell me."

"Yes! M'lord..." Wormtail gasped, curling further into himself. "Theodore Nott."

"Excellent," Voldemort, and continued torturing Wormtail to the brink of sanity.

The holidays were looking to be most jolly.

* * *

AN: And to those of you who doubted my plot and my ability to foreshadow in subtle ways, give your author a bit more faith. As BMS said it would not be a good story if I made you happy the entire time. Now I am back to doing real homework. Hope you enjoyed this weekend's installments.


	22. Misplaced Optimism

AN: It is eighty degrees, my dorm has the heater on, I have a cold, and I have a ton of finals because I am the senior that decided 'sure why not take three extra classes that I don't need, I pay the same for them anyway.' Seven classes later and I am annoyed with myself. I am not feeling the Christmas spirit so this chapter is short because writing happy Harry wasn't going to go well if I forced it and me thinks you don't want to wait until winter for an update. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 22 - Misplaced Optimism

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The world has hiccupped. Even the Nargles are hiding._

 _Father says something terrible has happened in the world._

 _Harry is safe for the time being, but I think we are all in trouble._

 _LL_

* * *

Harry knocked on Snape's door on the last week of classes before winter break.

"Come in," Snape called. He was sitting at his desk grading papers and his onyx eyes widened when he saw who was at his door.

"Good evening, Sir," Harry said in even tone.

"Potter, what are you doing here?" There was too much curiosity in his voice for it to be as hostile as he likely intended. In the last few weeks, Snape's attitude towards students had marginally improved. He didn't go out of his way to menace students, though his silent persona freaked enough students out that still, no one dared cross him. For the select few dunderheads who were about to put something explosive or harmful into their cauldrons, old Snape would rise from the depths and bellyflop the perpetrator.

Astoria said that Luna was starting to rub off on him when Harry described this observation with the added detail that Snape was a large whale flattening his students.

Harry had blissfully ignored Astoria's snide remarks as he watched Luna laugh. He loved making her laugh.

"I am here for my Occlumency lesson."

Snape's eyebrows shot up, "You would volunteer for that?"

"You've pretty much seen the worse and besides it is important that I learn this skill. Vol- The Dark Lord is still out that and I think the chances of me irritating Dumbledore are high enough that he might go after my mind. Also, who knows who else might have mind art abilities."

Snape leaned back in his seat and said simply, "No."

Harry didn't bulk. "Yes."

"Yes, _Sir_."

Harry grinned then, " _No, need to call me Sir, Professor._ "

Ire and something else flashed in the cold depths of Snape's eyes. "Do you think your cheek will somehow sway me? I don't want to teach you, Potter."

"You never wanted to teach me, nothing new there. Harry, my name is Harry, and no I don't think being rude will sway you but then neither would me being polite. But facts do, so here it is; I don't want to learn occlumency, I need to."

Snape stood, and Harry shut the door behind him walking to his usual spot.

"Prepare yourself, Potter."

"Harry," Harry corrected.

Snape's spell hit Harry's mind and the memories started.

Occlumency was truly Harry's worse subject, the progress they made was marginal for though Harry had a great deal of will and strength, he had no finesse. Snape's sleek and sneaky ways around Harry's focus was nearly impossible for Harry to fend off. When he was able to find Snape and push him out, it was luck more than anything else. Harry's luck was too fickle to be trusted.

* * *

Theodore Nott had received a rather peculiar letter from his father. In the last five years, Theo had never received a letter from his father, from anyone really.

The letter read thus:

 _Dear Theodore,_

 _I am expecting you home for holidays. I will see you at the train station._

 _Regards,_

 _Your Father_

It wasn't his father's script. Long precise letters, written with a steady hand. Theo's father was a drunk and he was a bastard. This letter was either an imposter's hand or his father was trying to do one of his rare and regrettable attempts to make up for ten years of piss poor parenting. They lasted for about a week, of good intentions and ended with the same awful anger that came from withdrawal. Of course, it was not the alcohol that made his father a bastard, he had been a Death Eater after all. While Theo was a Slytherin through and through, he did not see the world with the prejudices his father and the other of their class had. No, Theo disliked everyone equally. It didn't matter what their birth. Everyone would always disappoint him in the end.

When it came to talk about Dark Lords and the Dark Arts, Theo was of a mind that he would never bow down to anyone, no matter how powerful. He would rather die than grovel at someone's feet. The Dark Arts were in that same vein, magic was meant to be controlled, the Dark Arts seemed to control the caster, again not something Theo wanted.

Theo glared at the letter in his hand.

 _Screw him,_ he thought, _Father will not tell me what to do._ Sure there would be hell to pay this summer but then there always was. Theo folded the letter and put in his bag. It was a novelty and all novelties were suspect.

Everything came with a price, for every good shoe there was another one that would drop, and Theo would not be putting his head under that guillotine blade.

After all, that's what it meant to be a Slytherin, even the most friendly among them knew, listen to all but trust nothing and no one.

* * *

Remus was watching Sirius decorate Grimmauld Place with an air of fascination. The convict was so happy, so jolly, Remus could not remember a time, except maybe in their seventh year when Sirius had been so carefree and joyous. It was a nice change.

"Sirius?" Remus questioned.

"Yes, Moony?" Sirius almost sang, turning to him with a wide smile.

Remus was about to ask why his old friend was so happy, but he stopped himself in fear that he might somehow dim the light in those grey-blue eyes, "Nothing, it is just glad to see you, you know as yourself."

Sirius grinned and went back to whistling as he worked.

Remus imagined a world where James was whistling beside him, Lily laughing in the kitchen as she strung together ornaments. The four of them waiting for Harry -or maybe more, to return from Hogwarts for the true celebrations to begin. It was a good dream, it was a world Remus would never be a part of.

* * *

Lucius heard the knock on his door. Who the bloody hell was calling at this hour?

Narcissa ran into the room, her nightgown hugging her body, her robe loss. She looked panic.

"What's wrong?" Lucius demanded.

"It's Nott, I saw him in the glass," she said flustered.

Lucius snorted, and made to walk around her, "That drunkard is nothing to fear, I will dispose of him. He's probably here to ask for money."

"Peter Pettigrew is with him."

Lucius froze mid-step, turning to his wife with a stunned expression.

"The Dar-"

"No!" Narcissa grabbed Lucius by the lapels of his night robe. "No, I supported you, I always supported you but this ends here. It is only in the last six years you've been able to claw our name out of the gutter. We will not be sucked into this mess again. We will not play for the losing side."

"How dare yo-" Lucius started, grabbing at her wrists but stopping mid-word when one of her hands slipped his grip and he found her wand pointed at his jugular.

"Not. My. Son," she snarled at him. "You have a choice at this moment. We know nothing for certain, for all we know Pettigrew's presence could be a fluke, not a summons. Your mark remains faded. There has been no formal call. We can slip away and if _he_ does come back then we can claim ignorance _if_ he wins back the ministry. Until then you will not throw away our wealth and _our_ son's future on a fool's bargain."

"You think I am a fool for our family's beliefs?" Lucius asked carefully around the point of her wand.

"I think my eldest sister belongs in her prison cell, I think I will never see Andromeda again because she will never forgive me for marrying and supporting you. I _know_ we lost the last war and I know I would rather die than watch _my_ son bow before a half-blood manic."

Lucius glared at her for a moment.

The sound of the doors bursting in rattled the entire house. The Malfoy wards falling away as if they were nothing. It had to be the Dark Lord under the guise of Nott, though why the Dark Lord would use polyjuice, Lucius could only imagine.

Narcissa didn't flinch, she held her pose, until with a wary glance to their closed bedroom door, Lucius whispered, "Get the floo powder."

Together they slipped away through the fireplace to their vacation house.

Voldemort taking possession of the now vacant Malfoy Manor.

* * *

Voldemort could not determine whether the Malfoys had fled from him or had gone an early holiday. It was of no matter him either way.

Voldemort had more pressing concerns. His journal was missing. Well, no, not missing, dead. He had found it in the Malfoy hidey hole. Found it with black stab mark through the pages with the residue of dried Basilisk venom.

One of his Horcruxes was dead and soon so would Lucius Malfoy.

Voldemort clutched the broken journal between his borrowed hands. How had the journal ended up this way? Was his Basilisk dead? Were his other Horcruxes in danger?

And why did he have the sinking suspicion that this all had to do with Harry Bloody Potter?

* * *

Harry went 'home' with Remus and Tonks as his escorts to Grimmauld Place. Sirius squeezed him so tight he thought his eyes might pop out of his skull, but then Harry was squeezing him back just as tight.

For the first week, the four of them enjoyed playing games, making a mess of Kreacher's kitchen, and flying their brooms in an enlarged attic Sirius had turned into a small, though still substantially sized indoor field.

Buckbeak chased after them in delight, happy to be able to finally stretch his wings.

Tonks still had to go to work, but Lupin had given in to just moving in with Sirius. Sirius had managed to convince his old friend that living in abject poverty because he couldn't get a decent job as a werewolf was about as fair as Sirius going to prison without a trial. If Lily and James were alive they would not have allowed Remus to live on the brink of starvation either.

As Harry had pointed out, Grimmauld Place was too big for just one person.

Harry was looking forward to Christmas itself. Sirius and he would be going to an apartment they had rented in France to meet up with the Lovegoods. Remus would be spending Christmas with Tonks.

Harry had never felt so optimistic about the future as he did that holiday.

* * *

Promises: It's okay to hate me for the suspense, but I swear to you that I am not going kill Xenophilius or Sirius or Luna or Harry. I am pretty sure those are the darlings of this story for this audience. Breathe, I will get you all through this to a happy ending, despite it being a ways away.

AN: Please leave me a review with your reactions and thoughts? Many thanks!


	23. Heartfelt

KEYNOTE: A seer is a very specific definition. Having lived in Salem for four years I have a lot of friends in the Wiccan and Witch circles. A lot of people are able to tap into the current climate that surrounds people and times. Think of Luna's dreams less as magical foresight and more like the human instinct some people have in greater or lesser amounts of sensing when something bad is going to happen.

* * *

 **WARNING:** With Voldemort back on the board things will get darker but I am still planning to stay below the Mature and R rating. The darkest stuff will be what you can imagine from my implications but I will not be writing anything explicit aside from listing a death toll.

* * *

Chapter 23

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The sun is warm. The ocean is the world. The lights are bright. I have never been this happy._

 _LL_

* * *

Luna and Harry were asleep on the couch. Harry's arm was slung over her waist, his face buried in her blonde curls. Luna had tangled her hands around his free arm which she was also using as a pillow.

Xeno and Sirius were sharing a bottle of wine, neither having the heart to wake them for dinner. They had both crashed within the first ten minutes of a muggle movie after a day in the sun, chasing waves, and flinging one another into the water.

"They are adorable," Sirius said softly.

Xeno smiled, his blue eyes turbulent, "I always thought I would want to kill the boy who would take her away from me. But Harry's not trying to change her, he's just making her happier than I've seen her since-" Xeno took a deep swig from his glass, and almost choked. He chuckled at himself, "I don't typically drink."

Sirius watched the red liquid swirl in his glass, "When I first got out of prison and got ahold of some money, I bought an entire bottle of the strongest stuff I could find."

"Did it help?" Xeno asked.

Sirius shook his head, "Merlin no. It almost killed me. I woke up in the woods, shaking and throwing up. Or rather, spitting, I didn't have enough in my stomach to throw up."

"Our vices, they offer such a brief escape and sometimes it feels worth it, but all they ever offer is an illusion of a solution. They solve nothing though, they only cause more problems," Xeno sighed. "But then I am not sure where I would be without Luna, she is all I have."

Sirius looked back at the couch at the sleeping teenagers. They both looked so innocent and peaceful. Watching them on the beach today had been- it gave him hope that joy and love and life could win out against the sorrows. For the morning hours when there had been a bit of a cool breeze, Luna and Harry had run back and forth along the beach, making a game out of dodging the waves as the water spilled along the shore.

Sometimes they would stop to examine some creature that had submerged itself in the sand. At one point Luna had chased Harry with a crab. He had skipped away from her, laughing.

Sirius had always envied James for his doubtless love in Lily, but even James might have envied the effortless love and freedom between Harry and Luna. They were two very brilliant people with very hard pasts, who seemed content to let the other be who they were without judgment. They did not change each other, they changed the world around them. It wasn't so much love at first sight as it was two people finding their place together.

"Harry saved me too. I have so many regrets, it would be so easy to drown myself in them, but I couldn't do that to him," Sirius said finally.

"Sometimes in pretending to live, we learn how to live in spite of ourselves," Xeno agreed.

"So I guess this means I don't have to worry about you threatening my godson's life?"

Xeno smiled but there was a dark glint in his otherwise pale blue eyes, "As long as he keeps her safe and happy, Harry Potter has nothing to worry about from me."

The unsaid words, ' _if my daughter gets hurt or stops being happy I will happily tear the boy limb from limb_ ,' hung between, Sirius heard them all the same.

Sirius clinked his wine glass to Xeno's, "Merry Christmas, old chap."

Xeno sipped his wine his eyes going from the tormented soul sitting across from him to his daughter and the brave boy holding her.

Harry Potter was in Xeno's estimate, one of the brightest and kindest young men he had ever had the pleasure to meet. It was a gift that he and his daughter had found each other. All the same, in Xeno's heart he worried. He truly believed that this boy would never personally harm his daughter, yet the forces that followed in his wake- If there was evil in this world then it could not help but try to snuff a light like the one that Harry burned with.

Xeno could only pray that his daughter would not end up in the crossfire. Pray that the boy who had stolen her heart didn't come to harm and hurt her the way Xenphilius had been hurt when his wife passed on.

* * *

The little shit hadn't been at the train station.

Voldemort had made Wormtail go disguised as Nott with polyjuice but the boy hadn't shown up.

The Malfoys had though. Wormtail had spoken to them. Risky, but now Voldemort knew they were in their second estate in France. He didn't know exactly where that was, but given enough time the Dark Lord would find them.

Nott was not the best choice to steal the body of. Aside from not even having the respect of his own son, he had no friends and were ever Voldemort went he was given speculative looks. Apparently, being sober was an abnormal enough to be taken note of by everyone.

Voldemort had written to Albus Dumbledore, a risky move to be sure, but there were no outward signs of his possession of Nott. The soberness he was playing off as a way to reconnect with his son, and a sob story was something Voldemort knew the old man could not resist.

* * *

Dumbledore was down in his dungeons.

Severus was pissed, the bastard never came down here unless it was to make his life difficult.

"Headmaster," Severus said politely, even if he wanted to bite the man's head off.  
"What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Nott sent me a rather heartfelt request," Albus said, summoning a plush seat for himself, ignoring Severus spindly backless stools.

Severus didn't have comfortable chairs because he didn't want people to stay any longer than necessary. Severus didn't want to be anywhere near Albus, but he gave no hint of his displeasure, well no more than was usual. "Why would would one of my students write to you?"

"No, not Theodore Nott, the boy's father," Albus said serenely.

Severus couldn't keep the surprise off his face nor the venom out of his voice when he asked, "Death Eater Nott, sent _you_ a _heartfelt_ letter?"

"He did indeed. It would appear that he has made some life changing choices, sobered up, and is wishing to make amends with his son on Christmas," Albus said with twinkling eyes. He said it like it was a brilliant fairytale come true.

Severus wasn't buying it, "Do you have the letter?"

Albus extended the letter to him, "You seem to doubt his sincerity. Surely you of all people, Severus, believe people were capable of change."

If it was not for his years of being a triple agent Severus would have laughed in the old man's face. It was debatable on how much Severus had truly changed but then he hadn't had to come back from the same depths as some. Among the Dark Lord's inner circle all were guilty of aiding and abetting, of bearing witness to atrocities, of murdering at least one human but there were levels to how much blood was on each their hands. Regulus Black, for instance, had been a researcher, his hands had been lily white in the end. Severus and Lucius had killed a few but due to their positions in society, their death toll was not high. People like the Lestranges, on the other hand, had killed as regularly as they shat. Nott had never been all that skilled as a wizard, his pockets and influence never that deep. As an only child, his surname had been all his worth. His marriage arranged, his son a necessary nuisance.

Nott was not as powerful as Bellatrix, but he was nearly as cruel. Nott had gone after muggles, killing hundreds, including women and children. Rumour had it that he had killed his first born child because she had been born a girl. Nott had kept his wife locked up in the house, treating her with all the dignity of a house elf until she gave him a son. She had committed suicide when Theodore was very young.

Severus didn't know what Albus knew of Nott, his wife's suicide had been hushed up after all. But whatever Albus thought, Severus knew that the words heartfelt, amends, and change were not applicable to Nott. Theo was a good kid, better than he ought to be given his upbringing.

The letter was not in Nott's script, it looked oddly familiar though Severus could not place where he had seen it before. It requested Theo be brought to him at once.

Like Hell Severus would comply with that. But going behind Albus's back was easier than a direct confrontation. The old man would always be a Gryffindor.

Severus folded the letter, "What would you have me do? The train has left the station."

"You were friends with Mr. Nott once, weren't you?" Albus asked.

Severus breathed in deeply, the press of a tick against his temple took everything he had not to allow his eye to twitch. _Friends?_ The notion was ludicrous. "We are acquainted," Severus said placidly.

"Then you shall personally escort young Theodore Nott home."

Severus thought it would be kinder to actually lock the boy up in a dungeon cell for boxing day then send him 'home.' "Of course, I am Head of Slytherin House, it is my duty to see to the needs of my students."

Albus nodded and with a smile, he stood, "Thank you, Severus. Sorry for the inconvenience on the holiday, but we are only ever gifted with one family."

 _Gifted_ , Severus thought bitterly 'gift' was hardly the word he would use for the travesty of his own family and Theodore's. It was one of Albus's greatest flaws, he saw the possibility of love in all people and failed to understand the lack of it, always underestimating how far apathy and cruelty could stretch its hand before it was brought to an end. An end that didn't often arrive until the damage was irreversible.

Severus had walked too long in the dark to mistake it when it reared its ugly head. He would not be delivering Theodore to his 'father' if such a man could be called that.

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _We levitated some jellyfish back into the ocean last night. Oh and Harry says hi._

 _LL and HP_

* * *

Harry and Luna were sitting on an outcropping of rocks. They were sitting within eyeshot of their dads but out of earshot of any people. The rocks weren't as desirable as the soft sand for taking a break from swimming.

Harry found climbing the rocks to be a lot of fun, and Luna oohed and aahed at the creatures crawling between the stones. The little pools they found were like little aquariums of sea life.

Luna's hand brushed over his hand, "How come your skin is so dark?"

"Genetics?" Harry guessed, but he pulled his waistband on the side of his hip down a bit, revealing skin that was nearly as white as hers. "Terrible tan lines though."

She laughed, "Next year we should get a sticker tattoo and put it on your shoulder and when it washes away you'll have a white design."

Harry grinned, "If you put a jellyfish tattoo on me, I'll-"

She stole a kiss and he forgot what he was going to say.

"You'll what?" Luna teased when she pulled back.

Harry could only blink at her. Where his skin had gotten darker, her hair had bleached paler. It almost hurt to look at her in the sunlight, she seemed to radiate in the sunlight. He wished he could stay with her here forever, but they would have to return to Hogwarts soon.

"Luna-" Harry started, his tone heavy. "Luna, I have some things to tell you."

"Tell me what?" she asked, reaching out to hold his hand.

Harry looked down at his hand in hers, "I think you've known but I want you to know it all. I have never lied to you but I think you need to know the full story."

She sat patiently, neither encouraging nor discouraging, but she kept his hand in hers as he told her everything.

The past timeline, the Dursleys, his time at Hogwarts, the war, his death, his being thrown back in time, the things that had been going on since then, everything, he held nothing back.

At the end of that story, she hugged him, and he clung to her. Logically he knew Luna was not the type to turn away from him, but he was grateful for her reaction all the same, for her acceptance.

He pulled back after a few moments, "You don't mind that I am older, right?"

She laughed, cupping his face in her hands, "I love you, Harry Potter, every bit of you."

Harry felt his stupid grin overcome him, "I love you, too, Luna Lovegood, forever and always."

Tears fell from her eyes and she leaned up to kiss him again, this person who saw her for who she was and loved her for it.

* * *

AN: Mr. Nott has no canon name sorry for the confusion and I kind of hate him too much to give him one. Also, there was a comment about Voldemort having red eyes, that was only in Luna's dream, there is no outward sign of possession other than Mr. Nott being sober, the way he holds himself, and his handwriting. His voice stays the same and all other physical manifestations. More on the magic behind this in later chapters as I have developed my magical theory for this fanfiction that does sidestep some canon.

ANII: For your poor bedridden author, please, please share your thoughts and reactions with me? Please?


	24. Answers without Solutions

Beta: The lovely Bluechipmunk edited this chapter with a great deal of care and time, many thanks.

Chapter 24 - Answers Without Solutions

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Do you believe that if all is perfect in your world it is impossible for it to last?_

 _I don't believe in perfect. I hope there is a flaw in my relationship with_ Harry, _because if there isn't then something else is going to make it wrong. Something will ruin this perfectness because nothing can remain as it is and all perfections are lies._

 _Love Luna_

* * *

Severus had written a letter to Nott to meet him at a pub to retrieve Theo. Severus had no intentions of bringing the boy, however, Severus did think it was in everyone's best interests that he talk to Theo about staying at Hogwarts for the remainder of the holiday.

Theo sat stone faced in one of Severus spindly stools.

"Your father wishes you home for the holiday," Severus said coolly, "Were you aware of this?"

Theo glared at the floor, his fists tightening until his knuckles were white.

"Did you know?" Severus pressed.

"Yes, Sir," Theo gritted out, still without looking up.

"You may stay here at Hogwarts, Mr. Nott. In fact, I think it would be best if you did."

Theo looked up at his Head of House with no small amount of relief. "I don't want to see him."

Severus nodded, "Did your father send you a letter? I find his claims of atonement improbable."

Theo almost smiled, "I did too." He reached into his bag. "This is what was sent to me. He's never sent me a letter before, but I know his handwriting and that is not it. It's like someone neater and more steady stole his hand, only if someone did force him to write anything I doubt that would make his hand steadier."

"Indeed," Severus said as he took the note.

It was the same familiar yet unplaceable handwriting as he had received from Albus.

"Is there anything else you needed, Sir?" Theo asked.

"No, Mr. Nott, you may return to your holiday. I will take care of the rest. If the Headmaster approaches you, you go nowhere with him, you come to me or one of the other Heads of Houses. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir," Theo said and headed towards the door.

Severus stayed at his desk frowning at the letter.

"Sir?" Theo asked from the doorway.

Severus looked, brow raised.

"Thank you," Theo said earnestly, before shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Voldemort's research went well, better than well. Now that he had a body of his own and was not relying on Wormtail to gather him everything he needed, he had freedom, independence.

This branch of magic was akin to that of the horcruxes and oddly the same as the spell Lily Potter had used to save her son.

At the price of her own death, she had allowed her son's soul to become elastic. Death by the hand of the person who had killed her, thereby activating the spell, could not permanently kill the living person she had died for. It was a complex, tricky curse.

One that did not spare the subject from death. Apparently, Voldemort had succeeded in killing Harry Potter, only the boy's soul had at once returned to his body. In effect, Lily Potter had used her own death to create an anchor out of Harry Potter's body, an anchor that his soul would always return to if the murderer, aka Voldemort, were the one to kill him. That Voldemort had been unable to touch the precious Boy Who Lived was due to Voldemort's own dabbling in soul magic.

The overlap caused friction between curses.

The curse Voldemort had found and was using to possess Nott ran the risk of the same friction happening between the two- or was it three soul curses.

Voldemort had eaten Nott's soul, there was nothing left of the man, of the being that he had been. But there was another curse that might work. A curse that would allow him to body hop, merely subduing the host's soul, not destroying it.

This might work as he would neither be trying to hurt nor kill Harry Potter and therefore not upsetting the laws that governed his mother's spell.

He could try to undo the curse of course, but that could take undue time and as the curse had been set for fourteen years it was likely irreversible at this point. It would be easier to throw the boy off a cliff. Voldemort somehow doubted a soul would return to a body that had a snapped neck.

But then killing the Boy Who Lived was no longer the plan. Voldemort would become the savior, and with a new generation, a new start, no one would ever escape him. No one would see him raising his new empire, no one would question Dumbledore's golden boy until it was all far too late.

* * *

Mr. Nott did not reply to Severus's letter until the week after the break. Albus had seemed disappointed when Severus had lied to him and said that Mr. Nott had fallen back into the bottle.

What the Albus suspected Severus could not say, but obviously Nott had focused his ire on Severus. He demanded a meeting with Severus. They agreed to meet at a pub in Hogsmeade that day.

Severus had been forced to write a letter to the Malfoys as Draco had yet to return to the school at the start of the new semester.

Lucius reply nearly sent Severus into a panic and he was very glad that the Headmaster had not chosen to eat his breakfast in the Great hall that day.

* * *

 _Dear Friend,_

 _He's back. He has taken over my manor and he looks like Nott. I can't say why and I don't know how but he was powerful enough to take down the wards as if they were nothing._

 _Waiting for a formal summons, my family will be enjoying a prolonged vacation._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Lucius_

* * *

The Dark Lord was Nott, Nott was Dark Lord. It explained the familiar handwriting for Severus had seen the Dark Lord's instructions before, but not written with Nott's hand.

It was like Quirrell all over again.

Severus didn't waste time on secrecy, pulling out his wand he began a verbal message, in a low but clear voice that only the other professors could hear.

"Go to Malfoy Manor, be prepared for the worst."

His doe Patronus raced out of his wand and sped towards the Auror office. Hopefully, between Kingsley and Amelia, some good could be done.

"My classes are canceled for the day," Severus called to the room at large as he stood and all but ran for the exit.

Nott was supposed to meet him during his lunch break. But he could only hope to beat him there. He would wait all day if had to, and he would aim to kill. What did it matter if Severus went to jail? If it meant the Dark Lord would be gone from the world forever it would be more than worth it. Besides, it wasn't like Severus didn't have enough crimes under his belt to be undeserving of a prison cell.

* * *

Severus found Nott at the bar. Well, he found his soulless husk at the door. Severus was sadly able to recognize all too easily the effects of a dementor's kiss.

But Severus wondered. Quirrel had died when the Dark Lord left his body, and from Lucius's letter and the pseudo-Nott's letters, Severus was certain that the Dark Lord had been in residence within Nott's body.

Severus consoled himself that all the Dark Lord's Horcruxes were dead. But- but what about other forms of the Dark Arts? What if the Dark Lord had figured out how to do something equivalent to the Dementor's Kiss? What if he could jump bodies between unwilling hosts?

Severus looked wildly around the pub at the gawkers who were pushing to get a better look at the body. He saw no sign, no expression, felt no presence or power that reminded him of the Dark Lord.

Severus pushed his way out of the pub and spun on his heel, snow crunching under his feet as he tried to look at everything and everyone around him at once. People on lunch break and young families walked along their way, caught in their daily routine, minding their own business.

What little color there was drained from his face, as Severus took note of every passerby that the Dark Lord could be any one of them. There was no way to spot him, no way to guard against him.

"Shit, shit, shit," Severus muttered, " _Shit!_ "

* * *

Patronuses. Harry's entire class, well, both of his classes were able to accomplish them. Every single student was able to some a silver protector of light.

Luna's patronus was a thestral and Harry's had morphed into a hippogryph. Different creatures, different memories, but the same love that made them important.

"Oi, Harry," Fred called.

Harry turned his attention to the twins who were waving him over.

"Now," George said, when Harry reached them, "It will not get rid of her-"

"But it will make her life hell," Fred finished.

Harry grinned down at the elaborate plans stretched out on the Room of Requirement floor.

Umbridge didn't stand a chance.

* * *

When Kingsley and his partner Tonks knocked down the doors to the Malfoy Manor, they did not find any Malfoys but they did find a rat.

Tonks had the animagi shot with an anti-shift spell and a stunner in moments.

"See," she proclaimed proudly, "Stealth is overrated."

Kingsley rolled his eyes and called to the rest of his team, "Round him up and I want every book and scrap of paper in this room in my office. Let's see what secrets we can't squeeze out of the court proclaimed victims."

* * *

It was the trail of the decade. Peter Pettigrew, a proclaimed hero, under veritaserum, rewrote history books and nearly caused a national panic.

Peter Pettigrew was a Death Eater.

A traitor.

The Seeker Keeper who had ratted out the Potters.

The mass murderer who had killed muggles in a public area, and cut off his own finger in order to fake his own death and to frame Sirius Black, Harry Potter's godfather for the whole sordid affair.

Sirius Orion Black was cleared of all charges and was offered a formal apology by the ministry of magic for wrongful imprisonment.

But the crimes of Peter Pettigrew did not end there. For he had hidden with the Weasley family, with children for twelve years before returning to his master.

Before helping He Who Must Not Be Named return to power.

National panic was perhaps a mild description for the reaction amongst wizarding Britain to the morning headlines the next day.

* * *

AN: A bag of used tissues and the best roommate ever, and finally feeling better, by which I mean I can breathe, stupid head colds. But now the words are coming in a rush. I am trying to beef out these chapters but Holy Cow are you all going to hate me for the next three chapters. Buckle up, I am still promising a happy ending. Please review?


	25. What We Lost

KEYNOTE: Lucius got the Diary back in the second book. I know it is probably not canon but just go with that at some point in the Dobby/Lucius scuffle Lucius had his hand on the Diary and brought it back with him. It is canon that Lucius gets the snot kicked out of him for losing it.

 **PLEASE READ-** Is it super dramatic that Voldemort found the same studies Lily did? I don't think so, my reasoning is why wouldn't Voldemort be looking for the magic Lily used? This isn't a few months of research this is the product of fourteen years of researching, but in my story he finds it. Somewhere between Britain and Saudi Arabia, Wormtail and Voldemort came across some literature and other forms of Dark Magic that included the curse Lily used. It does not seem odd to me that Voldy had enough strength to read or that his spirit was demonic enough to eat another's. In fact, I would reason that a fractured soul would be more likely to try and feed off a healthy soul. Downside; without any anchors, one more strike and he's out. No second chances, if Voldemort slips up he is gone forever. But he doesn't know that yet. **:KEYNOTE:**

* * *

Chapter 25 - What We Lost

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Everything is falling apart. The Dark Lord is back. Harry seems confident._

 _He shouldn't be._

 _The Nargles are coming out of their hidey holes to laugh at us._

 _LL_

* * *

Harry was pleased beyond measure that Sirius was free.

* * *

 _Dearest Harry,_

 _I'm free!_

 _Amelia Bones approved me as your legal guardian! You are officially, officially coming home with me this summer!_

 _I will be at your next quidditch match (as a human!) and afterwards, I will take you out for ice cream. We have formal permission by the Assistant Headmistress Minerva._

 _I can't stop smiling. As in, I physically cannot stop my face muscles from turning upwards._

 _Tonks is taking me out to go get some decent wizarding robes from this decade, and then she is taking me to her home for dinner. I am going to see my cousin, Andromeda for the first time in forever._

 _The best part is I don't have to explain myself, the whole truth is out now!_

 _I can't wait to see you. Stay safe. I love you so much._

 _Love Your Dogfather,_

 _Freeman Sirius Orion Black :D_

* * *

Harry showed Luna the letter that had been delivered by Hedwig.

She smiled tightly. "I like his smiley at the end," she said, voice nearly as tight as her smile.

Harry frowned at her, "Luna, what's wrong?"

"Voldemort is back, Harry," she said, stroking Hedwig's feathers for comfort.

"So what?" Harry sighed, "It isn't like he ever went away."

"All Wormtail said was that 'the Dark Lord was back' and that he was 'all powerful,' he didn't say how he came back. I really think they should have kept asking him questions before giving him the Dementor's Kiss," she said.

Susan pushed her way between Ron and Harry. "That's what my Aunt said. But there was uproar at the courts. She said it was all she could do to keep the court from going into full scale riot and before my Aunt could okay it, Fudge had given the order for the Kiss. Of course, the Dementors didn't hesitate. They never do about that kind of thing."

Harry's pleasant was quickly abating and he felt himself getting angry. "What does it matter? It isn't like there is anything we can do about here. We are still in school."

He heard his own words and was nearly as shocked at himself as the incredulous faces that Ron and Hermione were giving him.

"Well at least someone is seeing sense," Astoria said, having approached from the other side of the table. She, unlike Susan, did not push people out of the way, people simply got out her way. She sat primly in the cleared space.

People had stopped complaining about inter-house seating, even if a Slytherin at the Gryffindor table still got some weird looks.

"Professor Snape seems unsettled," Astoria noted.

Harry looked up at the head table, and it was not just Snape who seemed unnerved. Well aside from Umbridge, she looked weirdly pleased.

Probably thinking how she could use the disorder to her advantage.

"They all seem unsettled," Hermione said, "we all are."

"But surely," Ron started, "there is something we can do."

"No," Harry said firmly.

"Why not?" Ron protested.

Harry had to bite his tongue to keep back the words, _Because the last time we took matters into our own hands in the fifth year Sirius ended up dead._

"Where would we even start?" Luna asked, covering for Harry's pause. "We have no idea where Voldemort is."

Hermione sighed, "I guess you're right."

"Guess she's right?" Astoria repeated. "There is no guessing needed. She is right and there is nothing we can do."

Harry sighed, "That isn't completely true."

Susan chuckled, "Sensible points used up for the day, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "Not quite. Voldemort goes after kids. We need to be on guard and if anyone starts acting oddly, say something. The best thing we can do is take care of each other. No one goes anywhere alone, and anyone in the third year or younger should have an extra eye put on them."

"Huh," Astoria said, "I think the Ravenclaws are rubbing off on him."

"I thought you would claim him as Slytherin," Susan said with a grin, "he is being a survivalist after all."

Astoria shrugged, "If he was truly a Slytherin, he would have dropped out of school like Draco Malfoy."

"I thought he was just on a prolonged vacation?" Ron asked, perking up in hope that the little blonde demon would never return.

"At this rate," Astoria said darkly, "Who knows what's going to happen?"

* * *

Harry was enjoying charms. Magic and his studies were his only solace this week. Though he enjoyed his time with Luna and his friends, everyone was so on edge that there was none of the relaxed fun he had grown to count on.

Harry wasn't looking forward to another war and he had no way of knowing how bad this one would be. On the bright side, all anyone had to do this time was kill Voldemort. No damned horcruxes left and with a soul as fractured as his, it would be highly unlikely that Voldemort could even attempt to make another one.

But Harry was worried.

How did Voldemort get a body this time around? What did he look like?

And what was perhaps worrying Harry the most was something that only a handful of people expected. When was the break out of Azkaban going to happen?

Harry would talk to Flitwick after class, just to be sure it was on everyone's radar. Maybe Harry should write another letter to Amelia? It would sort of cause him trouble if everyone found out he was a time traveler but not as much trouble as several Death Eaters -some of them as feared as Voldemort himself, were on the loose.

Taking a deep breath and pushing it all aside, he worked on perfecting his charm spell and when that was done he got a head start on his homework.

Cho Chang didn't bother him in this class anymore.

When the bell rang, Flitwick waved Harry over.

"Have a seat, Harry, there are some matters you need to be aware of," Flitwick said after the room had emptied.

"Sir," Harry started, "I know I told you this already, but do you know if anything has been done to secure Azkaban? You know, outside of the Dementors."

Flitwick nodded gravely, "Amelia Bones and Kingsley Shacklebolt were able to get their letters of execution. Those prisoners in high security have been sentenced and administered the Dementor's Kiss. Honestly, I think Fudge signed off on it to try and quell public panic. Though after the debacle with Sirius coming to light, they did go through _all_ of the paperwork. No one is allowed to receive the Dementor's Kiss without a trial, which all of Voldemort's imprisoned Death Eater's did receive."

Harry sighed in relief, "Well that is good news at least. A world without Bellatrix Lestrange is a safer one."

"Indeed," Flitwick agreed but he didn't look happy.

"There is more bad news, isn't there?" Harry asked sinking glumly into his seat.

"I am afraid so."

"Just tell me."

"You heard about Mr. Nott being found in Hogsmeade?"

"Hog's Head right?" Harry asked with a nod. "What I don't understand though is how a Dementor got by Aberforth."

"Not the Hog's Head, although, Mr. Nott did go there for a drink before his ordeal. He was found soulless at the Three Broomsticks."

Harry frowned, "There's no way a Dementor got to the center of town without causing a ruckus."

"That is the thing, Harry, there was no ruckus, no Dementor, he had planned a meeting with Severus and was found soulless at the bar before Severus arrived, well before they were supposed to have their meeting. No sign of a struggle. Witnesses say he just dropped, no soul."

Harry was frowning, "How? And why isn't everyone talking about this?"

"It was overshadowed by Pettigrew's trial and nobody really believes it. They think it was something he drank and that he's dead now. His body was taken away without much fuss. But Severus has a theory."

Harry sank further into his seat and asked almost mournfully, "What theory?"

Flitwick sighed, "Severus believes that Voldemort has found a way to jump bodies, possibly by eating the souls of his victims."

Harry's face went white, even with the tan he looked terribly pale. He swallowed, his throat suddenly felt dry. "Please tell me you don't mean he could be anyone and anywhere?"

Flitwick shook his head, "He could be anyone and anywhere."

"Bollocks," Harry cursed.

"Our only clue might be when a body drops soulless that he is switching between hosts. However, whatever body he is in, Severus thinks it would be best to assume that as long as they are magical Voldemort has his full magical capacity. A wizards magic is tied to their life source. Though our bodies and intelligence can sometimes constrain our magic it is our life source, and therefore, even the piece of the Dark Lord that lives on is outstandingly powerful. Giving himself fresh hosts, eating souls, it only adds to his strength."

"Bollocks."

"Your lessons with Severus, how have they been going?" Flitwick asked.

Harry took off his glasses to rub his face, "Not remarkably well. When I am able to shield my mind it is more luck than force of will if I am being honest."

"I would advise you put more effort into those lessons," Flitwick said, not unkindly. "Also proceed with extreme caution. It has already been proven multiple times that possession is not something the wards at Hogwarts recognizes."

"You might want to work on that," Harry suggested.

Flitwick's lips turned up but there was no mirth to that smile. "I have discussed it with Headmaster and Professor Vector."

"What did they said?"

"Possession is not common enough that there are any standard wards for it. We are searching but-"

"But it will likely be too little, too late," Harry supplied.

"I wish had better news for you."

"Don't we all."

* * *

A few weeks passed and nothing bad happened. Well, nothing anyone was aware of anyhow.

Harry caught up to Theo after their potions lesson one Monday and asked, "How are you?"

Theo gave him a sidelong look.

Draco, who had only recently returned, waited for Theo a little ways down the hall.

When Harry waited patiently and didn't back down immediately, Theo exhaled, letting his shoulders ease.

"I'm good, Potter, better than good, I'm glad he's dead."

Harry would not be glad to see the Dursleys dead, but then Harry had had his suspicions that Theo's homelife was worse than he could imagine. Harry had seen some of the signs as he had gotten to know Theo over the last year. "Do you know who you will be staying with?"

"The Greengrass family got saddled with me," Theo said evenly. "I am surprised they took me in. Some distant, or not so distant relative rubbish or what not. I don't intend to be a charity case though. Once I turn seventeen, I am out of there. Which is the following summer so it isn't that big a deal in the long run."

Harry nodded, "If you ever need anything, let me know. I know we aren't that close, but I'm around if you do."

Theo nodded again and went to join Draco, who didn't look at Harry.

Draco had been acting odd, but then his parents were moving to Northern Europe and he would be transferring to Durmstrang soon. Draco was here waiting for the needed formalities in Durmstrang to go through.

Harry did not understand why Lucius would be fleeing from the possibility of the Dark Lord returning. But then Lucius had gotten one of Voldemort's horcruxes destroyed and if memory served, that hadn't played out well for the Malfoys.

Hermione and Ron caught up with him then, interrupting his ponderings.

"What were you talking about with Theodore?" Hermione asked, giving the lanky boy a look that made Harry have to hide a smirk.

In Harry's distance, Ron and Hermione had come to an understanding. That understanding was that though they were friends, without Harry as buffer there was only so much of each other's company they could handle.

Harry was not at all saddened by the possibility that they wouldn't be dating in the future. Ron was not good enough or kind enough to Hermione to deserve her.

Luna's words came back to him then, _you should tell Ron and Hermione. You don't have to tell them everything but you should tell them the basics. They love you, they would die for you, they deserve to know why you have changed from the person that they knew and depended on._

"Hermione, Ron?" Harry began.

They both looked at him, hearing his tone of voice changing.

"I think I owe you a long overdue explanation."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look before they turned back to Harry.

Hermione said, "Well it's about bloody time."

* * *

They found an abandoned classroom and Harry began with the day of the last task.

"You know the day of the last task?" Harry asked.

Ron and Hermione nodded, scared to speak and somehow deter Harry from sharing the truth with them.

"Well, someone, likely the false-Moody used the imperius curse on Krum, who then attacked Fleur and Cedric. I was able to help Cedric in time and one thing led to another and we reached the cup together."

Ron couldn't help himself. "We know that."

Harry shook his head, "We decided to grab the cup together, win together. We both lost as it turned out. We got portkeyed to a graveyard. Voldemort and Wormtail were there. Voldemort ordered, 'Kill the Spare.' And Wormtail hit Cedric with an Avada Kedavra."

Ron and Hermione stared at him, speechless. Harry looked at them passively. He still didn't want to tell them this and even as he spoke he debated how much he should or even could handle to tell them.

"But Harry," Hermione said slowly, "that couldn't have happened. Cedric is alive."

Harry continued his story as if he hadn't heard her. "Wormtail got the best of me. I was captured. Voldemort enacted a ceremony that required his father's bones, my blood, and Wormtail's hand. Voldemort rose to full power that night and summoned his Death Eaters. Voldemort challenged me to a duel and as fate would have it, our wands have the same core which meant but some obscure rule of wand lore he couldn't kill me with that wand.

"And due to the same wack wandlore, the spirits of the people who he killed most recently with that wand came out. Cedric, my mum, and my dad. Cedric told me to take his body back with me, my parents told me to run and attacked, or rather distracted Voldemort. I got back to the cup and we arrived back on the Hogwarts grounds. Voldemort alive and Cedric dead."

Hermione and Ron did not say a word. Harry went on.

"That summer was one of the worst of my life. You didn't write. The only thing people would tell me if I bothered to reach out was to stay safe and keep my nose clean. Fifth year sucked. I was angry all the time and Voldemort kept sending me visions. Snape was a git, Dumbledore wouldn't so much as look at me, and Umbridge made my life hell. I was miserable and Hermione, ever the voice of reason, I ignored your advice. I got myself kicked off the quidditch team. The DADA club was great but Umbridge caught us and Umbridge took over as Headmistress.

"I didn't understand that the visions I was seeing were induced by Voldemort. He sent me one of him torturing Sirius in the Department of Mysteries during the final exam. I believed it. A group of us, not including any Slytherins, went on an adventure.

"It nearly got us all killed.

"Sirius died. Naturally, I blamed myself for it.

"Sixth year was a bust. I was the grand chosen one and Dumbledore's golden boy. I was arrogant and I obsessed over Draco being a Death Eater, and I accidentally almost killed him because I was studying spells that didn't have formal definitions.

"Death Eaters got into Hogwarts. Dumbledore died. Voldemort won.

"The seventh year the three of us spent hiding in the woods. Running around on the instructions from the instructions of a deadman. We followed quite blindly. Voldemort and his lot took over the government and I will not describe the horrors but it was a dark time for anyone who stood against Voldemort or anyone who wasn't at least a half-blood.

"It all boiled down to a battle on the Hogwarts grounds. A lot of people, of children, died."

Harry had to stop and take in some measured breaths. It was hard to tell this story again. He didn't think it would matter how often he told this story, it was never going to be easy to tell it. He would never forget what he had seen that day. In the end, dying, dying had been easier than seeing the destruction of his home and of the people he had come to love.

He wished Luna was holding his hand in this moment. He was grateful that Ron and Hermione waited for him, they didn't push.

"You know how my scar hurts when Voldemort is near me?"

Hermione and Ron nodded their heads.

"Turns out there was a piece of his soul in the scar."

Their expressions of horror made Harry smile sadly at them.

"It gets worse," Harry told them.

"Worse?" Hermione squeaked. She had been able to control herself very well up to this point, partially because of the toneless manner that Harry had been speaking in until now.

"Voldemort put out an announcement that promised if I surrendered myself he wouldn't hurt anyone else."

Ron stood, outraged, "Tell me you didn't believe him!? You plonker! You couldn't have believed him!"

Hermione was on her feet too. Her rage was quieter and all the more formidable. "Why? How could you have done that to us?"

Harry met her chocolate brown eyes and knew he was about to break her faith in the world. "I did surrender myself. I walked to my death and I did not defend myself."

Hermione's frizzy hair seemed to rise as if her power was a building lightning storm. "Why?" she demanded, voice as hard as stone.

"Because," Harry said smoothly, "Albus Dumbledore told me to."

They gawked at him.

Ron stuttered, "But- but he- why woul- but no- no. He wouldn- but- What?"

"The soul piece in my head. In order for Voldemort to die all that anchored him to this world had to die first. I had to die."

Hermione was crying, tears streaming down her dark cheeks. "No, Harry, no." She looked angry and hurt and as if her heart were breaking for him.

"Anyway. Voldemort hit me with the killing curse, again. I died. But when I woke up my scar was bleeding, and the pain… Coming back to life hurts a hell of a lot more than dying. I know I keep telling people that, but I really can't explain exactly how bad it hurt."

"That isn't possible…" Ron said numbly.

"And the day I woke up-"

"The day of the last task," Hermione finished for him.

Harry nodded, "Yep. I thought I was dreaming. I went through the whole task and didn't realize until after I grabbed the cup, this time without Cedric, that maybe this isn't a dream. I killed Voldemort's snake but Wormtail ran away with the thing that was Voldemort. The rest- well I think you can piece together what happened after that, you've been around."

Hermione was shaking, "Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you just tell us!?"

Ron just sat there, looking like his mind had been blown, staring at Harry like a man coming to the realization that he didn't know anything about anything or anyone.

"Because, Hermione, you are not my Hermione. You could be, you would have been, but you aren't the Hermione I went to war with."

She looked pissed. "What the _hell_ is that even supposed to mean?"

"It means that person you became… you should not have had to become that person, Hermione. You shouldn't have had to suffer like that and I couldn't bear to tell you. I didn't even want you to hear it second hand."

"How much of that story did you leave out?" she demanded.

"Three years doesn't sum up neatly, Hermione."

"How much did you leave out?"

"A lot."

"Tell me."

"This reaction is why I didn't tell you to begin with. I know you. Your mind is already spinning trying to solve problems that are years beyond you."

"I am not stupid," she said getting into his face.

He stood towering over her a bit, "Of course, you're not. I know what you're capable of, probably better than you do, but that's my point, Hermione. I don't want you to put all your efforts into fighting a war that should never have been your problem if you hadn't been friends with me to start with."

"I am a mudblood, this was always my fight!"

"The hell it is!" Harry yelled back finally losing his own temper. "You don't know what we did, what we had to give up, what we lost of ourselves!"

"So you're what?" she asked acridly, "Protecting me?"

"Of course! Of course, I am protecting you. Damnit, Hermione, I love you!"

Ron let out a short breath and said the first thing that came to his overwrought brain, "I thought you loved Luna."

Harry rolled his eyes and made a sound in the back of his throat. "Not like that." Harry put his hands on Hermione's shoulders. "You and Ron are my family. I didn't know how to handle time traveling or being friends with the people who no longer remembered the pain I was in. I didn't know how to be your friend and keep you- keep you innocent, young. Our time at Hogwarts was stolen. Neither of you are of age yet and you had been through enough as it was. How could I put this burden on you when I could keep you safe?"

"So why tell us now?" Hermione asked, voice softer but still angry.

"Because Luna was right, you needed to know why I have been so distant, why I don't confide in you like I used to. I still care about the both you. I am still your friend, things are just different than they used to be. I am different than I used to be."

"Luna is a year younger than us? Why did you think you could burden her?" Ron asked, confused and hurt more than he was angry.

"Luna watched her mother die, you both have your parents, your families, you have a safe home to go back to that isn't a constant reminder of past tragedies."

"And did that change in the future?" Ron asked.

Harry didn't say anything.

The blood drained from Ron's face, his freckles standing out like pepper on white rice. "Who?" he asked weakly.

"Don't ask me, Ron, please, don't ask me that, not now, not ever. Let it be enough that I came back and have done everything in power to ensure that the future I came from never happens again. The Heads of House, Amelia Bones, people know the worst that could happen. It will not happen the way it did in my time."

Hermione hugged him then.

"Don't leave us again, Harry," she said between the tears, "please, just don't leave us, again."

Harry wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders as she began to sob.

Ron came around then, hugging both Hermione and Harry with his long arms. "We've missed you mate."

"I'm sorry," Harry said into the curls of Hermione's bushy hair. "I am so sorry."

* * *

 **People who know Harry is from the future:** Filius Flitwick, Sirius Black, Luna Lovegood, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley. Keep in mind that Minerva, Poppy, Hermione, and Ron only know parts of the full truth.

Amelia knows about the Dark Lord's connection with the Dementors, which I think is part of the reason why she was killed so early in the books.

AN: Looks at self, looks at the outline, looks at the audience; didn't plan to write that now but apparently, Harry missed his friends. My characters ignore that I am their god, often. It's like they think they have free will or something. Also, I realized how not whimsical Luna was in this chapter. She wasn't in love in canon, caring more about people even for people like Luna would make her more stressed out. I am having far to much fun writing this story. I have my plot and I really do feel like I am playing chess. Technically, the good side is smarter, more well informed, and ahead of the Dark Lord which is the reverse of the set up in canon. But my twist is rather than having Voldemort playing a stationary king, he has all the powers of the queen and is rocking the board. Sorry for the metaphor, I really do play chess.

 **Please, please review?**


	26. Relief

**WARNING:**

"So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Meticulous planning

Tenacity spanning

Decades of denial

Is simply why I'll

Be king undisputed

Respected, saluted

And seen for the wonder I am

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!"

-Scar, Brother to Mufasa

* * *

Chapter 26 - Relief

Albus Dumbledore was not pleased to hear from Severus that Tom Riddle had the ability to jump bodies. In addition to Severus delivering the news in less than a timely fashion, the news itself was catastrophically bad. He was even less pleased when he finally got a hold of the literature that both Tom and _Lily Potter_ had used.

So much for love being the solution.

Necromancy combined with the Dark Arts and Soul Magic was not love, even if the motivation for dear Lily using such magic had been.

The book he had found it in was one of the books he had taken off the shelves the moment he had become Headmaster. Such a book should not even be in the restricted book, because at least one student in every century had the potential to be like Tom. Of course, Albus was not all that innocent either. He had read this book or skimmed, although he had never tried to use these spells or even break down the theory behind them.

He was now and the results were…

Albus sighed and sat back in his chair. Half the book was written in old English, as in the type of English that was more like a loose representation of language that if spoken aloud sounded more like trying to eat rocks than speech.

The other half was written in Runes, the archaic language among Wizards that had gone out style because Latin was easier than trying to make sounds that could not be pronounced with a human tongue. The Runes they taught in class was only the written work, not the spoken, living language that it had once been.

It was a mark of how brilliant Lily Potter had been, as well as Severus who had introduced her to this path of research, that someone who hadn't even reached thirty could decipher the meaning much less the accurate instructions to perform high arcane magic.

The curse Lily had used for Harry was remarkable and heartbreaking. Using her own murder/death as the catalyst she was able to create an anchor for Harry's soul -so long as Harry choose to come back after the murderer who killed him was the same way who killed her in the same way, in this instance, the killing curse. Though Albus was unsure if it the killing curse was the only spell that Harry was protected against or if the killing curse was the only spell that could kill while keeping the body intact. There were some sentences that could be translated in a number of ways. It seemed that if Harry's body was destroyed that his soul would be unable to re-animate it.

Albus's plans for Harry might have worked, but not for the reasons he had come to believe.

The chapters on possession and soul eating were also in the ancient runes section, and Albus could only be grateful that Tom had not kept this book in his youth or taken the time to fully absorb the contents.

There was no cost, well aside from ethical issues of taking over another's life or eating someone's soul. Tom had enough strength left in his soul piece -after who knew how many horcruxes, his suspicion confirmed from hints Harry had left him and this book with Tom's signature in the library card.

Tom could jump to body to body without any outward signs of which body he was in. The one sign that might become obvious was if he ate the person's soul rather than double inhabited a body. The moment a body was completely soulless, everyone would know.

The book theorized in the closing summary that this was how the original Dementors were born; weak, evil, hungry, magically gifted humans who had acquired a taste for eating others' souls and the power rush it gave them. A steady diet of souls and misery could keep them alive until they ran out of food.

It was not a comforting thought, because Tom Riddle was many things, weak was not one of them. If a weak wizard or witch became a dementor by eating souls what would someone like the Dark Lord Tom Riddle become?

Albus stroked Fawkes' feathers. It would be better if Tom stopped eating souls and just choose a single host. Then it would only be that host who had to die to stop him.

The prospect of him being able to just blithely body hop, taking on the life of the host seamlessly was not something Albus knew how to fight against. One moment he might be a student going home for the summer, the next he could be Head of the Department of Law Enforcement and in the next, he might be the Minister of Magic. And who was to say who would Tom kill along the way?

It was something only a very intelligent, powerful, madman might even consider being able to have the strength and fortitude to pull off. Tom might be such a man, or as Albus should think, such a creature, because no person -of any redeemable quality, had the right to do what this book only theorized about and remain a human being. No, Tom was not the abandoned orphan boy Albus had met all the years ago, he was a remorseless monster.

* * *

Luna's hand was shaking too much to write in her diary that morning. Again her nightmare had fled her waking memory but she felt it still.

The stones of Hogwarts were aching. The shadows were deeper. In her waking and resting hours, she could not escape that sense that something terrible was coming.

She went down early to breakfast and ran into Harry along the way.

As in she ran at him when she saw him ahead of her.

He jumped when her body crashed into the back of his, but with a laugh, he turned and wrapped his arms around her.

Luna buried her face into his shoulder, he felt so safe. She breathed him in, the last vestiges of her nightmare releasing her as she relaxed in his embrace.

Harry kissed her temple, "You okay?"

She could only nod but she continued to hold onto him. Harry, being the wonderful person that she had come to love, didn't try to pull away. He held her, not rushing her even as people began to walk around them to go to breakfast.

Harry began rubbing her back. "Luna?" he asked, worry clear in his voice.

She pulled back then and grabbing his hand, pulled him along towards the food, "Let's eat."

Harry gave her a searching looking but he didn't press. The last few weeks had been tense. Anticipation was high, waiting for what Voldemort would do next and Harry had come to learn that Luna's way of handling that stress was extra hugs and having his hand in hers at every opportunity.

Harry didn't seem to mind, Luna had noticed, but then Harry didn't complain about much of anything these days. Luna thought he was just burying his fear about what Voldemort would do, while another part of her granted that he might just be trying to enjoy the moment. Or maybe both reasons were a form of denial, but Luna was glad for his ever ready smile and comfort that he was able to give her. Luna had always been the strong one, the first few years after her mother's death, Luna had to ensure that she and her father ate, that they both got dressed, that her dad talked about something other than work.

One night, about a week after Mum's death Dad had gotten so drunk that he had yelled at her. Asked why she hadn't stopped her mum from putting in that last deadly ingredient. He hadn't remembered saying that the next day, and he had never gotten drunk after that night. But those words had stuck with her, made her question everything around her, see and be aware everything lest she miss-step, miss the signs like she had with her mum.

Whether Harry was pretending to be strong, cool and collected, or whether he was just that mature didn't matter so very much when it meant that she didn't have to be the strong one, meant that _she_ was not responsible or wrong for being emotional and not being able to understand everything.

Today was the day of the Quidditch match, McGonagall ensuring that all the teams got to play and practice again, despite Umbridge's attempts to take the fun out of Hogwarts. The decrees were getting worse and worse.

If they were going by the rules, Harry and Luna were not supposed to hold hands anymore. But only Umbridge and Filch actively enforced rules like that. The one rule that had become quite bothersome was the one that stated that students couldn't sit at a table that didn't belong to their table. So Harry and Luna had to sit on separate benches and straddle the bench to still be able to have a conversation during meals.

Something that Umbridge had not figured out a way to stop, yet.

Luna really couldn't wait until BBCE started their master plan to get Umbridge out of Hogwarts.

* * *

Luna was sitting beside Sirius, watching the lights refract around him, like bonfire or electric crackles. The man was so happy and such a powerful wizard that he seemed to vibrate with his own energy.

Luna liked Sirius a lot, Sirius had roared with laughter and praised her for her lion headed hat.

"Go Harry!" Sirius cheered when Harry caught the quaffle which a Hufflepuff chaser had dropped after he got hit in the gut with a bludger.

He tossed it gracefully to one of the Gryffindor chasers before continuing to zoom around the field. Luna appreciated quidditch, but she appreciated the sight of her handsome boyfriend in his element more.

Hufflepuff was losing. Ron as keeper doing a good job for this match.

Ron and Hermione had been nicer to her lately. Now that they were in on the secret of the time traveling they seemed more at peace. Although, Hermione wasn't a peaceful person and she was nearly as worried about Voldemort as Luna was.

Ron, well, Ron was helping Harry stay blissfully unconcerned of the whole Dark Lord topic.

"He is really good," Sirius told her for the dozenth time.

Luna smiled at him, not at all perturbed with his repetition, "Yes, he is."

"James would have been so proud of him. Lily would be rolling her eyes, saying something about not everything is about Quidditch."

"Harry's top of the year."

Sirius winked at her, "He's top in the school, I'd wager."

He was probably right, Harry was breathtaking in his magic. If flying was element then magic was his blood. Luna loved watching him perform spells, he made the magic seem more alive even as the magic brought him alive.

She smiled at the memory of their patronuses dancing together. She knew Harry's memory was of that day they had found the hippogryph herd and she had told him as they had flown over the woods that they would be together for the holidays. Her own happy memory was of the day he had reluctantly followed her into the Forbidden Forest and they had played with the thestrals. Harry hadn't liked being in the Forest that day, but he had stayed because he had _wanted_ to spend time with her.

Though she wasn't sure those were her happiest memories with Harry, seeing as most -if not all, of her memories and time spent with Harry were pretty wonderful.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Harry whushed by their stand, blowing her a kiss, causing Sirius to bark, which was his fascinating way of laughing.

Hermione who was sitting on Luna's other side elbowed her and said, "Aawwww."

Blushing, Luna grinned at the older girl.

"Seems Harry inherited his father's charm, too," Sirius commented once he got a hold of himself.

"I always thought Harry would be really awkward with girls. He tends to be shy," Hermione remarked.

"Well, James most certainly wasn't shy, neither was Lily come to think of it."

"Harry's a natural leader, but he doesn't like the light with limes," Luna said.

Hermione coughed and corrected, "Limelight."

"Yes," Luna agreed, "The lights with limes."

"No," Hermione said patiently, "Lime like the mineral they used for ligh- Never mind, it's not important. You're right that Harry doesn't like to be the center of attention."

"He seems okay out there," Sirius said, watching Harry dive straight down.

"But this is Quidditch. Harry lost all the bones in his arm once and it didn't even cross his mind that quidditch might be too dangerous of a game to play," Hermione said.

"Quidditch isn't dangerous," Sirius said with sincerity.

Lavender Brown screamed as Harry pulled out of his dive at an angle so that his left shoulder brushed the ground.

"No," Hermione said sarcastically, "Quidditch isn't dangerous at all."

"Okay," Sirius said with a grin, "Maybe it's a little dangerous but not really _that_ dangerous. I am mean a little danger is why it's fun to play."

"You know aside from last year when Quidditch was put on hold for a year, Harry has nearly died at least once per year during a Quidditch match."

"He hasn't this year," Sirius said cheerfully.

"There's still time," Hermione said darkly.

Luna hunched her shoulders. "Harry will be alright the skies and winds like him." She had heard them singing to him when she had flown with him.

* * *

Harry went out with Sirius after Gryffindor won the match. Luna spent that Saturday afternoon reading a muggle novel about gods in America sitting on the ledge of the owlery with Hedwig. It was Harry's secret spot that he had shared with her. She liked this spot a lot as it let her see the forest and the lake in relative privacy. When Hedwig was around, she was always welcome.

She was just getting to the part with 'the House on the Rock's famous carousel' when Hedwig bit her ear.

"Ow," Luna exclaimed, putting a hand to her ear, coming away with a spot of blood. "Hedwig," Luna chided.

Hedwig glared at her with her amber eyes and Luna dropped her book.

"Harry?" she asked. Noticing the dancing the shadows, hearing the infernal Nargles giggling at her.

Luna swung herself in through the window and was running before she knew where she was going.

Hedwig watched after her sadly, only knowing that her master had ordered her to stay safe even if it meant staying away.

* * *

"Colin?" Luna heard Harry's voice question.

She came around the corner and saw only the back of Colin Creevey who was holding up his camera towards her boyfriend.

Harry looked over the boy's head, and upon spotting her and he smiled warmly. She slowed her run, feeling that something was wrong but not able to see what.

Harry looked back at the young Gryffindor, "Don't you have enough pictures of me?"

"Not quite." The voice belonged to the boy, the tone of the words did not.

Luna was almost to Harry when the light of a camera bulb flashed, causing Harry to blink and stagger back.

"Harry!" Luna called reaching out to him.

Colin staggered back, "Harry? Loon- er Lovegood, um I- I'm just going to go." The boy ran away from the two strangest people at Hogwarts, not remembering how or why he had been there to begin with.

"Harry?" Luna said again, gently, as he blinked the stars out of his eyes.

The light around him dimmed, and the one within him sputtered as if he was a candle flickering under a cover that was beginning to snuff him out.

Harry looked up her and her entire world collapsed around her. Looking into his green eyes, she didn't see her Harry anymore. She saw that withered, vile thing from her long ago forgotten nightmare. She turned away from him, she needed to get help. Flitwick would help, or Snape…

Luna glanced over her shoulder and knew the time for saving anyone was long passed.

* * *

Voldemort laughter encompassed Harry's consciousness. He was laughing at them as the Holy Wand was raised against the woman he loved.

Harry screamed inside the prison of his own mind.

 _Not Luna! Not my Luna!_

And with all the will and power he had, Harry attacked his own mind. Unable to locate where Voldemort was, he struck out at everything.

He was too late, however, Voldemort's strike had already hit its mark.

Harry's world faded into blackness.

* * *

Harry woke in the hospital wing. His scar hurting, his mind throbbing, he summoned his glasses without his wand, a trick Luna insisted he practice.

 _Luna._

He looked around wildly for her.

"Lay back down, Mr. Potter," Poppy instructed.

But Harry didn't listen to her, his sole focus was narrowed on the cot next to his where Luna lay, eyes closed, white curls fanning out around her.

"Luna-" Harry gasped.

His headache was getting worse, the phantom pain in his scar near blinding. But he had to get to her, he had to know she was alive. He didn't know what the world would come to if he hadn't been able to prevent her death. He didn't remember a green light. Merlin, he hoped there hadn't been a green light.

She looked so beautiful lying there, yet so frightfully still. Was she breathing? Did her chest just move?

He reached out his hand toward Luna. If he could just hold her hand…

"She's alright, Mr. Potter. In a cursed sleep, but otherwise unharmed. She is only asleep, she is fine, I promise you that, Harry."

Harry fell back onto the cot, his hand still reaching toward her. A wave of relief overcame him, and it was that relief that was his downfall.

Voldemort emerged from the depths of his mind like some dark leviathan exploring outside its cave. In Harry's relief, in relaxing his guard, he had allowed for the opening Voldemort needed to take control.

Luna's sleeping face was the last sight Harry saw before his mind and body were taken completely hostage.

* * *

AN: And if you think you hate me now, just wait. Learn to enjoy the cliff hangings because I am holding the next few chapters hostage for people's comments and reactions because that is kind of mood I'm in ;)

P.S. If you plan to flay me because you didn't like this chapter, remember you cannot have the happy ending if I stop writing.


	27. The Heir of Salazar Slytherin

**Trg WARNING:** The next few chapters will be intimately challenging. I like writing in a way that feels realistic or reasonable to me. If I make myself uncomfortable or giddy or sad or angry that is what I will share because if I wasn't interested or challenged I wouldn't write it. That being said, I am putting an 80 something-year-old demon into a traumatized 18-year-old. Voldemort is evil and is forcibly taking over Harry's mind and body. Please read with caution, I may be a bastard but I do not want to cause anyone undue harm.

* * *

AN: I knew you would be angry so I rolled with it, but do not assume you can dictate how fast I can write. I am a slow writer but I have been putting a lot of time into this story because it has been burning in my mind to push ahead with it. Once I have a chapter presentable, I post it. But please keep in mind that I am college senior with seven classes and have a part-time job, and I will be moving to another city I have never been to before for grad school. I wrote the last few chapters while I was sick and during finals week in my break time. I am not saying you can't be upset with me, but please be mindful that if I wasn't a crazy person who pushed himself past his limits, you wouldn't have these chapters at all.

Much love for those of you hanging in there.

P.S. Things will remain PG-13 but implications and imagined fallouts could be worse depending on how you interpret it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

Chapter 27 - The Heir of Slytherin

Voldemort leaned over Luna. His lips, hovering over hers, but not close enough to touch.

"That's all it would take," Voldemort whispered.

Harry growled at him. Of course, Harry's growl was quite silent. The 'sound' of Harry's voice was merely a thought in Voldemort's awareness.

Two consciouses, two wills, two minds, two chains of memory, two magical cores, one brain, one body, one soul and one demon. It wasn't Harry in the driver's seat, but he still felt the soft exhalation of Luna's breath against his stolen face.

Voldemort pulled back, _Pity only two people love her, she is such a pretty little thing._ He ran a hand down her cheek, her throat, across her collarbone-

Harry slammed everything that was left of himself into the metaphysical box he was being kept in.

Voldemort eased back with a chuckle, Harry's efforts to fight back were futile.

 _Stay away from her,_ Harry snarled.

 _Your love for her is a weakness. It would raise too many questions if she died. It is bad enough that she was somehow able to spot me, but it is of no matter. People will be expecting you to act closed off, worrying, grieving for your beloved. It will give me the time to learn you, to become you._

Harry's response was immediate, _you sick fuck._

 _Yes, but you had best get used to. You and I shall be together until the end of your days when you older than Albus Dumbledore, and then I will devour you._

Harry stayed quiet trying vainly to gather himself, to find some way of gathering control.

 _You've lost, Potter. Live with it._

"Get away from her!" A man shouted running into the room.

Voldemort stepped back, letting his expression fill with the torment and confusion that Harry was currently feeling.

The man, Xenophilius Lovegood, the girl's father ran across the room, wand raised at Voldemort. He put himself between Luna and Voldemort, his free hand grasping his daughter's.

"What happened to her?" Xenophilius demanded.

Voldemort felt amusement, watching the fool try to check on his daughter's state of well being while also trying to fend off her boyfriend. Voldemort answered with Harry's voice, Harry's pain, "I don't know, we were on the third floor and someone attacked us from behind. I don't know what happened, I just remember falling and seeing Luna fall as well."

Xenophilius lowered his wand, sitting on the side of Luna's bed. Running a hand over her hair. When he looked back at Voldemort it was a look of such sorrow and rage that Voldemort couldn't be anything but absolutely delighted. He hadn't even had to hurt the girl to get such a marvelous reaction.

But like a sour aftertaste on the back of his tongue was Harry's revolution at Voldemort's emotions and empathy for Xenophilius's pain.

"This is your fault," Xenophilius said.

Voldemort was ready to kill the man, _How did these people keep spotting me?_ Yet from Harry's thoughts, Voldemort understood that Lovegood wasn't accusing him of cursing his daughter but for putting her in harm's way.

"I'm sorry," Voldemort said, "I never wanted this to happen. I-"

"Leave." Xenophilius turned his back on Voldemort to focus on his cursed spawn.

Voldemort wanted to kill him for daring to give an order to the Dark Lord, but his good cheer was salvaged when the father kissed his daughter's forehead.

 _Only two people in this world love her,_ Voldemort purred at Harry in his mental prison box. _I will never kiss her and her father is unlikely to kiss his unconscious daughter on the lips. True love's kiss. Such an old curse, but no one thinks to use it anymore and as such no one will think of the cure. Only the fairy tales take it seriously._

Harry's response was weak, _It sounds like something Dumbledore would figure out._

 _Better hope he doesn't. It may cause me some amount of inconvenience, but I will kill her if she wakes up._

 _I am going to kill you,_ Harry thought back as Voldemort left the hospital wing.

 _You'll try but you will f-_

The memories of Harry destroying his horcruxes flooded his mind, and Voldemort stumbled mid-step, having to reach a hand out to the wall. It was lucky that no one was around to see his reaction, because the expression upon finding out that all of his soul pieces were destroyed, was not an expression Harry Potter had ever made.

 _Looks like you're a free soul,_ Harry thought snarkily, w _hat's left of it anyway._

 _How did you-_ but with the thought came the memories.

Blindly, Voldemort made his way down the hall finding an empty room. He sank into a dusty chair.

"You're a time traveler," Voldemort said out loud as he watched his horcruxes die twice over, well most of them.

"You walked to your own death," he said in disbelief. "Dumbledore set you up to die? You're both morons. Oh, but I was so close to winning that war. Your death would have secured it."

 _I was one of your horcruxes_ , Harry thought at him even as Voldemort felt Harry's agreement.

 _Yes, I had planned to use your death to make the Gryffindor's Sword into one of my horcruxes. But your mother's curse had an unforeseen blowback._

 _You had the sword?_ Harry thought but then he learned what Voldemort knew of Soul Magic and it was his turn to be shocked.

 _Yes, Severus Snape was a greater influence on your mother than any had imagined._

Which is when Voldemort learned the truth about his most trusted pet spy.

It was a day of ups and downs for the Dark Lord, though it was sure to be other people who were going to pay for the downs.

* * *

Much as Voldemort had protected, no one noticed 'Harry's' slightly inconsistent mannerisms or his quiet, introspective mood.

The love of his life was in the hospital wing. Nobody asked if 'Harry' was alright they gave him sympathy and encouragements that Luna would be okay and Madame Pomfrey would fix her up in no time.

If it wasn't for Voldemort's amusement at how simple it was to take over the golden boy he would have gone on a rampage with their condescending fretting.

Starting with killing Snape.

That night, Voldemort lay awake exploring Harry's memories.

His horcruxes were gone. All his loyal Death Eaters were dead. The living ones could not be trusted.

After graduation, neither the Malfoys nor Snape would live long.

As a time traveler, Harry had made use of his time. The teachers seemed to have pulled their heads out of their asses and the Hogwarts students were indeed more united than Voldemort would have ever imagined possible. Harry had also managed to turn his fame to leadership. Being a teacher of the DADA, worked perfectly for Voldemort's purpose, out of sight of the staff was better still.

Voldemort was back at the beginning, back to his own time as a student when learning magic and gathering followers had been his sole focus.

Strangely, it seemed that Filius Flitwick would be the person he would have to watch out for the most. Sure, Dumbledore was powerful but his apparent disregard for Harry's well being more or less neutralised the old man as a threat.

Voldemort sighed, this would be somewhat of a tedious process but then again, snuggling under the covers in his new athletic, young, and famous body, it could certainly be worse.

He fell asleep as the sun was rising.

* * *

Harry's thoughts and emotions were playing second fiddle to Voldemort's.

What was he? What made Harry, Harry? His magic, his body, his memory, his mind- nothing belonged to him anymore. Harry's soul had been put in a cage, becoming a bystander to his own life and as the creature that taken over that life fell asleep, Harry found that not even in sleep was he given freedom.

His dreams, Voldemort's dreams, _their_ dreams were filled with snakes and castle walls.

* * *

Voldemort rose late, dredging his way through the emotional weight Harry was oozing out.

Voldemort was not used to this level of emotions. Well, he was used to inflicting them, but not feeling them for himself. It took more work than was expected to box the boy's emotions down, the result of that mental exertion made him hungry and sour.

A Hufflepuff girl, Susan, a _Bones_ , he was disgusted to note, came over to sit with him at the Gryffindor table.

Which is when the unforgivable happened, she hugged Lord Voldemort.

It took all his fortitude to not shove her off and kill her right then. Rather stiffly, he hugged her back.

Susan squeezed him tight before letting go, "Luna is going to be alright."

 _You will not be,_ Voldemort silently vowed. _I am going to murder you and your aunt_.

"Thanks," Voldemort muttered.

Harry chuckled at Voldemort's ire.

Taking a deep breath, Voldemort realized at almost the same moment Harry did, that if Harry shoved enough emotion at Voldemort or angered him enough he might break character.

Voldemort nipped that idea in the bud. _Remember, Potter, I may not be in a position to kill you, but I have an entire school full of victims to choose from. You are not trapped in here with me, they are trapped here with us. You may be willing to sacrifice yourself. But I see you and you are stupid enough to care for all of them._

Harry's thought came through unbidden, _How am supposed to beat someone who can feel my emotions and knows my thoughts as I do?_

 _That's the point, Potter, you can't._

Sullen Harry watched in silence as Voldemort fielded condolences for Luna, pretending he wasn't the evil pussbucket who had cursed her.

Hermione asked, "Harry, who attacked you both? What do you remember?"

"I don't remember," Voldemort said, "One moment we were walking down the hall and the next were falling. I woke up and Luna didn't." His tone of voice was sad and angry just as Harry would have said it.

Harry found it disturbing that in less than twenty-four hours the Dark Lord was already able to mimic his behaviors, but then he did have the advantage of having unrestricted access to Harry's moods and memories.

Voldemort had enough of Harry's babble and shoved him harder into his box.

Voldemort's stomach growled in response.

Hermione pulled food onto Voldemort's plate.

"Eat," she ordered.

Voldemort wanted to backhand the Mudblood. But he was growing hungry enough, and a headache was beginning to build from mental exertion and lack of sugar that he bit into his bacon.

He almost groaned from the pleasure of it. Fourteen years without a true body, fourteen years of living amongst the fringes of society, eating poisons and blood to survive. Food, real food was a simple joy that he forgotten about. He only just kept his expression controlled.

* * *

Potions was simple. He stayed focus on his work and didn't look up at Snape. His work was excellent, Snape ignored him.

It was the norm Voldemort was all too happy to comply with.

Arithmancy was likely to be the tricky class. As Luna used to sit at their table and Voldemort, unlike Harry, was more than proficient at intermediate Arithmancy.

The Bones girl babbled happily with the false assumption that she could cheer him up. Blessedly, the Slytherin girl kept her mouth shut and focused on the work at hand.

Harry spent his time in his prison learning Arithmancy from Voldemort's thoughts as they arose. While Voldemort had full access to Harry's everything, the reverse was not true. Voldemort didn't stop Harry from hearing his thoughts, although he did have the skill in Occlumency to shield his memories from Harry.

At lunch, Voldemort ate heartily, which even done with a somber expression, turned out to be the first red flag against him.

Harry Potter handled anxiety and depression by not eating. But Voldemort couldn't skip meals if he wanted to avoid headaches and continue to cage Harry without a battle.

"Luna was telling me I needed to eat more when were attacked," Voldemort lied after Hermione questioned his appetite.

Her brown eyes softened and she nodded in understanding, "Luna would want you to stay healthy."

 _Luna would want me not to be possessed,_ Harry thought.

Voldemort gave the black skinned Mudblood a half smile. "I just want her to wake up soon."

 _Bastard._

"She will, Harry, and we will find out who attacked you both."

Voldemort nodded and returned to his sandwich.

 _Do you honestly believe you can pretend to be me forever?_ Harry asked.

 _I am you,_ Voldemort answered, _everyone changes. Hell, I can use your lost love and need for revenge against your 'attacker' as the reason you go dark._

 _Someone will recognize the truth,_ Harry thought.

 _Will they?_ Voldemort hissed into their mind, _the parselmouth that should have been sorted into Slytherin. You are nearly as qualified as me to be the Heir of Slytherin, if you hadn't killed my Basilisk that is. A wizard with the power of Albus Dumbledore and under the guardianship of a Black. If I take my time, the change will be natural. I remember how to be charming and with your good looks and saviour attributes, it will be ever so easy to make ripples in society. Ripples that then turn into waves and soon this world will be under my ocean. The name Harry Potter will not be synonymous with the Boy Who Lived, rather the Man Who Conquered._

Harry thought, _My friends wouldn't believe it. They would never go to the dark side._

 _Patience, my sweet pet, you will have a ringside seat to my revolution. Your united Hogwarts will be united under me and this fractured government that seeks to rule us is ripe for the taking._ _Everyone is afraid that the Dark Lord is coming back, that fear will grow and fester and they will be all too willing to hand over power to the young man who saved them in the past, who offers them the safety in the future._

Harry wanted to argue, but he had seen Voldemort come to power once before and it had been a swift, bloody take over because their government and society had been that fractured. Harry could not pretend that if Voldemort introduced change slowly and acquired power before he becomes a radical that indeed, he would be as -if not more successful.

 _That's right, Potter, I will be successful, because in the end I will always win, and you, you will always lose that which is most precious to you._

Harry had grown to believe that by time traveling had been given a second chance at life, been gifted with a better future. He had never felt more like the sacrificial lamb as he did then.

* * *

AN: Now off to finish the rest of my finals. Luna, Hedwig, Sirius, and the Twins are all going to be okay. George will even get to keep both his ears. I am pretty sure I can traumatize you all well enough without needlessly killing off my own favorite characters. Not that I am not capable of it, because I have written stories where I kill the MC, but that is not where I am going with Easier than Falling Asleep.

P.S. Ideally, you should be a bit confused because Harry certainly is.


	28. But Why is the Rum Gone?

AN: It isn't godmoding if there are a million and two ways to kill Harrymort (lol chc91776), you just don't want to consider all the ways to kill Tommy that involves killing Harry. Many of you also seem to want Tom to be stupid and everyone else to be uber smart. Sorry, but I like my villains intelligent and my heroes pushed past their comfort zones.

P.S. I will agree that initially Tom looks like he is godmoding, but remember that one of the side effects of soul magic might be becoming a Dementor. There will be long term costs to Voldemort's schemes (you know, aside from splicing his soul and becoming the definition of evil).

* * *

 **TRG WARNING:** please read with caution.

* * *

Chapter 28 - But Why the Rum Gone?

Light and shadow. A world of light and shadow. The lights, oh, but the lights.

She had lived in a world of other things, where light and shadow were the looks of things not the meat of things.

"I must be dreaming," Luna said out loud.

She giggled when her words caused flowers to bloom. Luna began to wander this dreamscape, not knowing how she had gotten here and not caring.

Each step flipped the world from day to night. A brilliant array of stars whirling like the faces of spinning coin with a blazing sunrise as she began to run through a field of tall grass.

She laughed wildly and the wind echoed her, wrapping around her like a long lost friend. The wind whipped her blonde curls around her, and Luna began to dance, feeling the wind lift her up so that her feet only barely touched the ground. She was weightless.

For moments, for hours, for days she danced. The stars left the sky to join her dance, they flickered around her fireflies made of jewels.

No matter how long she danced her energy and strength did not dim. So it was from the habit of living a mortal life that she rested, laying in a field of grass that was softer than any mattress she had ever been on.

She watched the stars fluid change between being earthbound and rejoining the Persian-blue tapestry of the midnight heavens.

Luna was so happy, she could stay here forever.

 _Forever and always._

The thought startled her. A memory at last. But she could not place the origin of those words only the feeling behind them.

Closing her eyes, she whispered, "I love you, every bit of you."

When next she opened her eyes the sky was cobalt blue with white rolling fluffy clouds. She was lost for a moment, staring at the clouds swallowing one another as the winds chased them across the world.

Luna shook her head. She needed to remember how she got here. She was in love, there were people who loved her, she needed to get back to them, and for that, she needed to remember where they had been.

For the first time since 'waking,' she felt a trickle of disquiet. Had they been in danger? Who were they? These people who were supposed loved her?

 _No one could ever love someone like me._

A soft hand touched her cheek.

Luna opened her eyes.

"My dear daughter."

Luna began to cry and sitting up, she flung herself into her mother's arms.

"Mum," she sobbed.

"I love you, my little moon, I love you," her beloved mother murmured into her hair.

Luna didn't understand why she was crying, she was home, finally home. The other world was cruel, heartless, loveless.

This is where she belonged.

There was no other world but this one.

This was reality.

This is where she had always been and would always be.

* * *

Voldemort was learning people skills from Harry. It was true that Voldemort could be charming and was a master of deceit and manipulation. But teaching children…

Harry didn't want to help him but after Neville blew himself backward into Voldemort after Voldemort's rather limited explanation of how to use a repelling charm, Voldemort had been ready to 'accidentally' murder someone.

So Harry gave Voldemort the right words to say because Harry doubted that anyone in this group, aside from perhaps Hermione, could act quick enough to defend anyone. Which was less of criticism of his students' abilities and more his fear as their teacher who would never want to put any of them up against the Dark Lord.

With Harry's help, the class was running smoothly within the next ten minutes.

Voldemort was somewhat annoyed that he had needed extra assistance from Harry that he hadn't been able to extract from simply reading the boy's memories and thoughts.

Harry tapped metaphysical fingers against the imaginary bars of his cage. _I think you need me and that by needing me I will find a way to overthrow you._

Voldemort snarled internally back at him, _And how many casualties will it take before you submit to me completely? There is nothing stopping me from slaughtering everyone in this room._

Harry would say that such an action would uproot all of his plans, but Voldemort's thought of, _I can always make more plans_ , stopped him.

Fred and George approached Voldemort after the Bird Shit club.

Voldemort hated children, why he ever believed he could teach was beyond him. The in all fairness he wasn't the same person he had been sixty years ago.

"So stage one of our plans start this Monday. It took us longer for the supplies to come in than we anticipated. We ordered," Fred said.

" _Two_ months ago," George said.

It took a moment for Voldemort to weed out the memory. "Umbridge will not stand a chance," Voldemort said. He didn't smile but neither of the twins had been expecting a smile, not with Luna still in the hospital wing and no cure on the horizon.

"She hates you the most-"

"So you have to be in her line of sight the whole time-"

"-but we will wait for your signal."

 _How do you tell them apart?_ And then Voldemort was able to see the little differences and personality quirks between them.

Harry's insight into others emotions could be bothersome at times but it added color to the people around him in such a way that could also be very useful.

Understandings people's emotions, rather than just being able to pick out the patterns of weakness was going to make manipulating people in future all the easier.

* * *

Harry thought of all the things Voldemort could do to him, that taking a shower would be the least of his worries.

The sensation of his own hands moving across his body under the spray of too hot water was unnerving.

Unnerving because as much as it was his body, he was no longer the one in control and he wasn't the only one feeling that touch.

Voldemort smirked, "You don't like this, Potter?"

Harry cussed at him.

Voldemort slowed down as he scrubbed conditioner into his black hair.

Harry felt disgust and shame.

* * *

That week, Friday night, Voldemort knocked on the door to Severus's private office for his 'occlumency' lessons.

Severus opened the door and beckoned him in.

"How are you, Harry?" Severus asked.

It was one of the first times Harry had ever heard Snape call him by his first name.

Voldemort hid a grin, turning to check the walls for portraits or hidden wards under the pretense of hiding his hurt feelings. "Madame Pomfrey hasn't found a cure yet."

Severus sighed, "Neither have I. I know it isn't a potion and the longer she stays asleep the more it looks like it is a dark curse."

Voldemort turned to him, not quite meeting the taller wizard's gaze. "Do you think it was _him?"_

 _You realize he is going to see through you, right?_ Harry asked. Snape of anyone he knew was not going to fall for this scam.

Snape answered in a grave tone, "Yes, I believe it was the Dark Lord. I believe he has found someone to possess to get into Hogwarts. There was a Hogsmeade weekend last week and the students… One of them must have brought him back with him. But no one has dropped to the ground soulless, yet, so it just a matter of finding him."

"How do you think you can kill him without killing the host?"

Snape pinched his nose as he sank into a seat behind his desk. "I have no idea. Perhaps if we can petrify the student somehow so the Dark Lord can't simply hop to a new host. But honestly, if he is eating souls like a Dementor the host would be beyond any hope of saving."

Voldemort remained quiet, laughing at Harry as he pushed against his prison with all his might.

Severus sighed again, looking up at Voldemort. "There is much I don't understand, Mr. Potter. Least of all why he would sneak up on you and attack Ms. Lovegood. Why would he curse her and leave you unhar-"

Severus's words caught in his throat when he looked into emerald eyes that held distinctly un-Harry-like malevolence.

He reached for his wand too late.

Smiling, Voldemort pocketed Severus's wand and bound Severus into his chair. The Holly Wand's strikes were barely visible. Eighty years in a fifteen year old youth, speed and agility were on his side.

"Far too little, far too late, my pet," Voldemort taunted, stalking towards the constricted professor.

Voldemort grabbed the man's face from under the jaw. "You fooled me for a long time, Severus Snape, but instead of choosing the winning side you decided to be Dumbledore's little bitch."

Severus glared at him, rage and sorrow swimming in his onyx eyes.

Harry was quivering with fear in his own cell, if Snape was gone then he wasn't sure who could help him. Who could save him, who would be left to help him who had enough of an understanding of the Dark Arts?

"Harry thinks I am going to kill you," Voldemort purred at Severus.

Eyes going wide, Severus gasped, "He's alive?"

Voldemort backhanded him.

Severus grunted.

"You will address me as Lord or Sir. But to answer your question, yes, the Boy Who Lived, lives still, in a fashion."

"Harry can beat you," Severus snarled.

Voldemort laughed, his voice rich and drawn out like Harry's laughter would have sounded, if he were a maniacal twit.

"No, he can't, he's tried, but what was it he said to you? Ah, I remember, you're a shit teacher."

Severus's eyes widened further, "You have-"

" _All_ of his memories. Yes indeed. I know how you betrayed me and why you did it."

Severus shook his head pulling on his restraints but he was as trapped as Harry. Alright, not quite that trapped, but enough so that he couldn't fight the Dark Lord.

"What are you going to do?"

Voldemort backhanded his other cheek. The sound of flesh against flesh was loud in the otherwise silent room.

Severus who had long ago given up on his attachment to pride in the Dark Lord's service, rephrased, "What are you going to do, Sir?"

Voldemort leaned back from the man, "I am going to do what I did in my own youth. I am going to start a new following from the ground up."

"What did you did you do to Ms. Lovegood?" Severus asked, tacking on a hasty, "Sir."

Apparently, he had grown rusty in experiencing humiliation over the last fourteen years. Voldemort would enjoy reteaching him, over and over again.

"Sleeping Curse. The one that managed to make it into the muggle fairy tale books because the person does not age so long as the curse is on them despite visibly breathing."

Severus didn't know what to say to that but his face shouted his confusion even as he tried to regain his composure.

"You're wondering why I didn't just kill her. The answer is simple, Severus. She was too close to Harry. If she was the first and possibly, the only one to die over the next two years, my identity would always have a shadow of believable doubt. Asleep but alive, she is easily forgotten," Voldemort purred. "Of course, I will kill her if someone manages to wake her."

Severus frowned, "That curse doesn't always work. Not even with true love's kiss."

"No," Voldemort agreed, "Sometimes they die."

Harry railed at the idea, clawing, kicking, and sledgehammering his prison.

Voldemort's hand tightened around his wand and he pushed Harry down into his box harder.

"Sometimes the cursed one chooses to die rather than return to the world of the living when they are kissed. But that would not be my fault, not directly anyway."

 _You cursed her!_ Harry shouted, _How much more direct can you get!?_

 _The killing curse?_ Voldemort asked sarcastically.

"How are you able to possess him, Sir?"

"So many questions, Severus? Wanting to understand the full story before you are tortured to death?"

"Yes, Sir."

Harry hated seeing Snape like this.

 _Get used to seeing people helpless and at my mercy_.

But the sad thing was Harry was already used to it and still, he loathed it.

"Lily Potter," Voldemort said simply.

"What?" Severus asked.

This time Voldemort hit him with a spell that punched him in the gut like a thirty pound rough edged stone.

"What, Sir?" Severus wheezed.

"Lily Potter. When you two were fraternizing in school she developed an interest in researching the arcane. Magic so old that it is all considered dark magic by today's standards. She found a curse for soul binding at the price of her life. In the same field of study I found curses that have allowed me to eat souls, possess others at random without their knowing, and a possession curse that undermines Lily Potter's protection curse by pushing aside Harry's conciseness, I am neither hurting his soul or his body. Interesting, isn't it? That your little Mudblood whore came across the same studies I did while creating my Horcruxes? It makes me wonder what else you might know, what Albus knows." Voldemort reached out and grabbed Severus by the hair, pulling him out of his seat.

Harry was morbidly fascinated with the way that Snape's hair felt. It wasn't greasy at all, it was strangely silky.

Voldemort threw Severus to the ground and put his foot on the side of Severus's face. "You will tell me what you know."

The torture was not very effective. Severus was too stubborn to crack and nothing Voldemort could do to him that wouldn't leave some kind of mark or symptom was going change that.

If anything it was Harry who suffered more than Severus. A fact that was now giving Voldemort a splitting headache, as Harry had resorted to screaming to try a drown out the horror of what was being done.

"Would you shut up!?" Voldemort roared out loud though directed at Harry.

Harry screeched like a banshee, had the sound been physical it would have shattered eardrums.

Voldemort hissed and with a huge surge of energy, slammed Harry into a dark hole, bolting the way back out.

Severus who had been left on the ground to catch his breath coughed a laugh.

"Harry will beat you in the end. He's young and a slow learner but he has the strength and the heart to overcome you."

"By the time I am down with him, Harry Potter will not have a heart. He is mine, Severus, and once I break him in, he will never betray me as you have done. Harry will never be able to escape me."

"If you never show a pet love, they will always turn on you. And you have no concept of it."

"Love," Voldemort snarled. "Look where love got you, you miserable worthless-"

"I would have followed you to the end," Severus interrupted. "If you had but spared her."

"She wouldn't get out of the way."

"You could have stunned her."

Voldemort was silent for a long moment. It had just occurred to him, that by sparing the mother, Harry Potter would be dead and he would be ruling the world at this moment...

"Just kill me already, I have nothing left to give," Severus said.

Voldemort looked down at the man who had betrayed him, "No, I'm not finished with you quite yet."

* * *

Severus woke late Saturday night with a moan. He rolled onto his back with a pained grunt.

He couldn't remember how he had gotten there. He tried to sit up and promptly fell back to the ground. He had the mother of all headaches. When he tried to sit up again his elbow clattered an empty bottle of good muggle rum across the stone floor.

That would explain the headache, memory loss and the awful taste in his mouth. It would all come back to him, eventually... maybe. The pain in his body must have been from whatever fool thing he had done while blackout drunk.

He laid on the floor, hoping that whatever he had managed to do stuck in his office for a day he had managed to finish grading his stack of papers.

* * *

AN: The next chapters start to lighten up a bit, I realize the last three were heavy hitters but JKR's magic system isn't strong enough for me just skip over Voldemort establishing himself. Plus, I must confess, I enjoy writing the villains, especially when I manage to give myself the heebie jeebies. Let me know if you want more dreaming Luna? I am afraid I can't find a way to bring her back into the active plotline for a while because Voldemort would immediately kill her. Dreaming Luna is better than no more Luna ever. Plus Pandora Lovegood seems like she would be an awesome lady.

Thank you to my reviewers and to the haters I have to say I have you right where I want you. _Mwahahaha!_

 **Please review?**


	29. The Curse of the Jellyfish

RECAP: Voldemort is able to possess Harry with a curse that goes around Lily's Love/Curse which is what had stopped Voldemort in canon from touching Harry. The curse itself is more deep rooted and more powerful in and of itself rather than what Quirrelmort went through. Quirrel had to willing accept Voldemort, there is no consent to what Harry is going through and his willpower alone is not enough. Additionally, the curse is an active structure, it isn't like what happened at the end Order of the Phoenix where Voldemort just tried to enter his spirit into an unprepared body. This curse is more than just will against will, as is the case with the imperius.

Harry is eighteen and is not good at meditation. I am a Buddhist and if anyone ever tells you meditation is 'easy' then they are either not doing it regularly or they are trying to sell you something. Between the curse and Voldemort's maze-like mental barriers, Harry simply does not have the skill or know how to free himself despite having the will and strength to be capable of it.

Like technically I have the capability to play the piano, that doesn't mean I can play Mozart if I practiced for a week.

 **KEYNOTE:** Voldemort has been in Harry for about two weeks now and be aware that if Voldemort messed with Snape's memories he could have erased/change more than just that night as we see is possible when Kingsley changes Miss Edgecombe's memory in Dumbledore's office.

* * *

AN: I have been thinking of taking the Disorder of the Phoenix concept and doing a fulllength no-time-travel version of the prequel if people are interested? Likely, that would be after this story and if I brought them back to America I would wait to see what happens in the new movies.

* * *

Chapter 29 - The Curse of the Jellyfish

Voldemort was ravenously hungry and it took all of his pride not to tear into his food like the Weasley boy across from him.

Voldemort had gone to visit Luna Lovegood Sunday night.

It had been a mistake.

Harry hadn't raged or fought but his… his emotions had been more than Voldemort had wanted to handle.

Crushing sorrow.

Remorse.

Such remorse. It was nothing Voldemort had ever experienced before. He was the Dark Lord, he regretted nothing, not in his life at the orphanage not in torturing or killing anyone.

But Harry regretted many things. He even regretted killing Quirrell and for a million other trivial events that by Voldemort's estimation weren't even remotely Harry's fault.

Voldemort prodded the mental bubble the boy was in.

 _Leave me alone._

 _Why do you regret so much?_

Harry did not respond and the boy was depressed enough that his thoughts were too sluggish for Voldemort to make meaning of.

Hermione touched Voldemort's hand gently. "How are you doing?"

Voldemort blinked at her. He wanted to ask why she cared.

 _Because she's our friend_ , Harry's thought whispered from within him.

Voldemort pulled away from that touch, but not harshly. "I miss Luna," he said.

It wasn't a lie. Voldemort did miss her, her smile, her silly laughter, the way she saw the world-

Voldemort shook himself. _No those are Harry's feelings._

"You really love her," Hermione said in soft wonder.

 _Yes, I do_.

In a pained voice, Voldemort asked, "Can we talk about something else, Hermione?"

The Mudblood nodded and launched into a conversation about charm theory.

It was a good conversation. Despite himself, Voldemort found himself enjoying her intellect.

As they made their way to potions Voldemort could not divide where his enjoyment in Hermione's company and where Harry's enjoyment in her company began and ended.

A thrill of panic went up Voldemort's spine. What if it wasn't Harry who would become Voldemort but Voldemort who become Harry?

To console himself, Voldemort spent the first ten minutes of class thinking nasty things about Hermione and about all the children he had killed in the past.

It was amazing how even words seemed to cause Harry anguish.

* * *

Severus gave Voldemort a few looks but Voldemort had been sure while erasing the traitor's thoughts that he had erased the notion that Voldemort might be inside of Harry.

It was of course, possible that Severus could come to the conclusion on his own once more, but the thoughts would be far more elusive than his normal reasoning.

That being said, Voldemort did nothing to draw attention to himself, which was normal Harry behavior in Potions class.

At lunch, Voldemort tried to eat less but found it impossible. He had three servings and Hermione, ever-watchful Hermione noticed, though she said nothing.

 _Please don't kill her,_ Harry thought, _please, there are thousands of reasons you could give her to throw her off the trail, please don't kill her._

 _I thought you wanted someone to notice?_

Harry shook his metaphysical bars, _Not if it means putting her in more danger than she always is._

 _How impractical of you,_ Voldemort noted. _You would save one person, over knowing what I could do to all of them?_

Harry didn't so much think but feel an answer.

It was such a complex response that Voldemort almost tripped over his seat when he reached his Arithmancy class.

The emotions were a tangled mass, anger, sorrow, regret, determination, caring and something else altogether unfathomable.

 _You don't have an answer, do you? That's why you feel this way. You wouldn't be able to make the choice of saving one versus many. You would die trying to save them all even if that wasn't an option._

 _Any decent person would._

 _And how can you save anyone after your dead?_ Voldemort asked.

Astoria snapped at Voldemort, "Oi, loverboy, we have a test today so pull yourself together. I know you've been consoling yourself by acting almost as bonkers as Luna but we need you present today."

Voldemort glared at her. _I hate your friends_ , he told Harry.

Harry rolled his imaginary eyes, _she gets less friendly when she feels emotions. She misses Luna too, even if she will never admit it._

 _Foolish._

Harry snorted, _it reminds me of your reactions over the last two days._

If one could glare at oneself without being able to see inside themselves, that's what Voldemort did.

"Harry?" the Bones girl said. "Are you okay? You look constipated?"

Harry's mood fluttered for a moment as he grinned at Voldemort who was trying to take measured breaths to keep calm.

 _Keep Calm and Carry On_ , Harry sang the muggle phrase at him.

Internal growl.

* * *

Sirius was sitting across from Amelia Bones, getting himself registered as an animagus. He had one foot resting on his knees and he was leaning back in his chair. He was happy as a clam.

The prospect of sitting in the Auror's Head Office without anyone trying to jump him was glorious. There meeting had been set for just after lunch on a _weekday_.

Sirius felt like he was top of the world.

"So, Sirius, what are your plans for rejoining the wizarding world?" Amelia asked.

He shrugged. "No plans really, I don't have to work."

"Won't you get bored?" she asked. Her tone implied clearly that she would be lost without her work.

"I have Harry," Sirius said cheerfully.

"Yes, but he's at school most of the time and then he will get a job."

"Hello Sirius," Kingsley said coming into the room with energetic Tonks behind him.

"Are you coming for a job application?" Tonks asked. Her hair was pink and she was lightly bouncing in place.

Sirius thought that Harry, Luna, and Tonks could be great friends one day. Well, of course, Tonks was family now. Andromeda had invited all three of them over for dinner and even Xenophilius over he wanted to come.

The thought sobered Sirius. Luna was still in the hospital, and Sirius hadn't heard from Harry in two weeks. Unusual but not unexpected. If Harry didn't reach out by the end of the week Sirius was going to pay him a visit.

"Sirius?" Tonks questioned. "Are you alright?"

Sirius shook his head like a dog shaking off water and sat up in his chair. "Yeah, I'm alright. And no I am not here to work for the ministry."

"He's getting his name printed for the dog collar we have picked out for him," Amelia said.

Kingsley laughed, "Better make sure he has all of his shots, too."

"Yes, ha ha," Sirius said with a smile, not the least perturbed about being the butt of a joke.

"It's a pity you punched Albus," Kingsley said suddenly, his smile falling.

"You punched Albus Dumbledore?" Amelia asked stunned. "Why?"

"He earned it, that's why," Sirius said back, crossing his arms. "And the only pity about it is me not doing it sooner and more often."

"It's a pity because," Kingsley said, "you might be able to solve one of our Hogwarts problems."

Sirius tilted his head like a puppy hearing the sound of a container full of treats being opened.

Kingsley couldn't help but grin, "What would you say to upsetting the Minister for Magic?"

Sirius's grin was positively wicked, "I'm in."

* * *

Voldemort had no idea what was going to happen. Harry's interpretation of the Weasley Twins' plans had been a general theory of chaos and the notation that it would be bigger and more impressive than what had happened in the last timeline.

But it was Voldemort who had to give the signal and whether Voldemort himself would have been involved in such schemes was rather irrelevant. If Harry were the one in control, he would do it and Voldemort was curious enough to play his part.

It was a good thing he wasn't a cat.

When Voldemort snapped his fingers under his desk, causing a paper airplane to shoot out an opened window at the exact the moment Dolores Umbridge sat down at her desk the bats from hell were released.

The bats in question were the textbooks which had transformed into flying harbingers of doom. Hurricane around the room they began to go after the students, gnawing on their arms with paper teeth. While the textbooks closest to Umbridge went for her face.

Pansy Parkinson stood on her desk and wailed, "We are all going to die!"

Followed by Theodore Nott, "The end is upon us!"

Quickly taken up by Neville Longbottom who put one foot on his desk and brandishing his wand, "Today is a good day to die!"

Hermione Granger's call was the last to be heard by everyone as she drew her wand, "Apply theory to action! By the power of books, we shall prevail!"

The rest of the class period quickly descended into a competition between the Slytherins and the Gryffindors to see who could ham up their 'battle' against the textbooks the most.

One student went the entire way of playing out his own death scene. Falling limp to the ground, though Voldemort could see him breathing he was nevertheless impressed the boy managed to keep his eyes unblinking and unfocused. Some students were pretending to cry under their desks, others were running back and forth with their arms flailing above their heads as they screamed, some were tugging helplessly at the 'locked' doors, and the students pretending to fight were yelling 'why doesn't the defense spells work!? I am only doing what the textbook said!" Voldemort among the latter group who were pretending to fend off the books with little beams of light.

All the students were screaming and yelling as the books' paper teeth 'bit' at them, though the books were quite harmless to the students. Only Umbridge was suffering from book slaps, paper cuts, a stolen shoe, and being forced to the ground under the furious pile of _Defensive Magical Theory_.

The most remarkable thing of it all was everyone stayed in character, no one smiled or laughed. They all pretended the danger was real. Things came to halt almost an hour past the end of class when someone outside the class had alerted one of the other professors to the mayhem going on.

Filius Flitwick had the jinxed books disabled with three flicks of his wand. The offending tomes falling with a unified thud to the ground, inert and harmless.

A disheveled Umbridge sat up from where she had been held to the ground, her face a mass of bleeding papercuts, and her hair in a state resembling that of a rat's nest. She began scrambling on her knees, pudgy ringed fingers sifting through the confetti around her, searching for her wand that had been knocked from her grasp.

Filius summoned her wand wordlessly.

She glared at him, "How dare you? Give me back my wand, Halfbreed!"

The students who had fallen silent at the Charms professor's entrance held their breath, which in the case of the student playing dead was an interesting visual effect.

Filius hung back, his eyes narrowing. "I shall be reporting this to the Headmaster."

"There is nothing to report!" Umbridge shrieked rising to her feet, "All of these students have detention one of them must have done it!"

Filius headed towards the fallen boy. "They've been attacked and you -as their professor, have failed to protect them. Shameful that the DADA professor couldn't fight past a simple animation jinx." He knelt by the fallen boy and said very clearly, "Rennervate."

Voldemort felt that no spell had been cast, Filius had just said the word. On cue, the fallen boy bolted up, as he rose he exclaimed, "I'm alive!"

There was a beat of silence and then the class erupted into cheers and hollers of victory. People, Slytherins and Gryffindors alike, hugged one another, some cried at surviving such a 'horrific' event. Hermione kissed Voldemort's cheek causing him to stumble away from her. His reaction was lost in the mob that sucked them in that had begun to chant "Professor Flitwick! Professor Flitwick! Our savior!" They trooped down to dinner with that chant, loud and laughing.

Umbridge was left in her empty classroom without a wand and with the remnants of textbooks that were shredded beyond repair.

* * *

"Mum?" Luna asked, "How can I feel that I've missed you so much when we've always been here? And we have always been here."

 _Forever and always._

Luna shook her head, her inter torso turning, causing her blonde curls to wipe out around her. They were not her words and they were not her mother's words.

Who else could there have said those words? Who else was there?

A wind blew across the land, bringing with it the sweet toasted smell of grass baking under a hot sun with the crisp smell that foretold the change is seasons. The wind seemed to rage, turning colder and the scent of rotting leaves invaded her senses.

With a ripple, the landscape boiled, melting from a grassy field to a forest of mighty trees.

Only they were on fire, well, not on fire exactly, the color of burning fire was captured in the colors of the leaves, like a trillion little paintings of white, gold, yellow, orange, and red flame.

Looking upwards, Luna felt lost in silhouettes of trees trunk and branches against a canopy of fiery light, spinning in a world that was entirely movement, no rest, it was-

Her mother's hand squeezed her hand, grounding her.

"Mum?" Luna asked, her voice quivering.

"What's wrong, my little moon?" she asked.

Luna's eyes filled with tears, "I can't remember."

"Remember what, dear one?" Her mother asked. Her blue eyes sparkled, her beautiful face shining with love, and her hair alight with the backdrop of a vivid autumn wood. Luna thought it must be how she looked, they did, after all, look very much alike though she doubted she would ever be as beautiful as her mother.

"I miss you," Luna told her, searching her mother's face for an echoing sorrow that she felt in her own heart.

But there was no sorrow in her mother's expression only a serene happiness and contentment. "No need to miss me, I am right here. All that you love, all that _we_ love is right here."

But Luna knew, _knew_ she was forgetting something. She licked her dry lips and voiced the growing unease in her chest, "I'm afraid."

The wind roared around them, the leaves began to chatter and shiver and rattle together. It sounded like it was pouring but it was the only conversation between wind and forest.

 _Forest._

The trees were bare and the light was dim.

Luna knew this forest, knew this day, and she ran forward, deeper between the tall trees looking for something that she could not see.

Her mother was suddenly in front of her, hugging her, holding her, hiding her.

Luna hugged her back.

Her mother whispered into her ear, "There is nothing to fear. If you stay with me you will never fear."

The wind raged around them. Luna clung to her mother and knew that her mother was the reason she was in this forest, knew that there was something that could not be seen without her.

But as the wind pushed and pulled at them, Luna had the impression of memory. In this forest she was not alone, but-

They were standing at the edge of the sea and she pushed out of her mother's arms.

Luna had to rescue the jellyfish. One by one she levitated them back into the ocean, for hours, for days, for weeks, until Luna knew only that there were jellyfish to be saved and it was her sole duty to send them back home.

* * *

AN: Please review?


	30. Mortality and Nightmares

AN: I know a lot of people are frustrated but if I skipped over the last few chapters then it would undermine the entire plot and you wouldn't give a shit about how it worked out.

Dyslexia: I do laugh at my own mistakes when I find them. Expulsion is not the same word as explosion XD

* * *

Chapter 30 - Mortality and Nightmares

Voldemort had been avoiding Snape as time went on. Was it fun to torture his disobedient pet, sure. It had become less fun, however, when it was him who started feeling the regret for it, not Harry. Harry was growing quieter by the day, retreating into his prison. Harry didn't respond to the bait Voldemort sent his way often. The result of this was that when Voldemort emotions, they were his own.

Snape twitching on the floor had grown distasteful and Voldemort's fear that he might slip up or be caught was increasing past what his sanity could withstand. This fragility was not something he had anticipated and if he didn't find a way out of it soon there was going to be a reckoning.

* * *

"What would you like me to do, Dolores?" Albus asked.

Fuming, Dolores glared at the Headmaster, "Make the attacks stop!"

Smiling serenely, Albus steepled his fingers on his desk. "Gladly. Do you know who the perpetrators are?"

"That's your job!"

"I am afraid it is not my job to discipline your students. If you find specific individuals and wish to discuss expulsion, I can certainly consider it, but as far as for keeping the students in order… Well, I am afraid you are the only professor with complaints. If I may be so bold, perhaps it is your teaching -style, that has turned the students against you. After all, fifth and seventh year exams start in two weeks, do you think they are prepared?"

Her face turned a purplish red, "Of course, they are ready."

"The students don't seem to feel secure in that."

"This isn't about their feelings this about the swamp in front of my office! About the fireworks going off around my classroom anytime I begin class!"

"I have not seen any fireworks when I've entered the class."

"That's because they are spelled to sto-"

"I am sorry to interrupt you, but what proof do you have?"

"You bastard, you are enjoying this."

Albus's eyes were indeed sparkling. "I wouldn't say I enjoy distractions that disrupt our students from learning."

"Fireworks are distracting!" Dolores shrieked

Albus sighed. "Until you have proof or even a lead on who is responsible, I am afraid I cannot help you."

Dolores stood to her distinctly unimpressive height, "This Minister will hear of this."

Albus stood as well, "By all means Dolores, tell the Minister of his shortcomings as a professor because I may remind, none of my professors have been dealing with these complaints."

"Complaints! These are attacks! Even my meals are no longer safe. The little monsters have even gotten into my private rooms!"

"Welcome back to Hogwarts, Ms. Umbridge, you should always expect the unexpected."

* * *

Voldemort and Hermione were studying together in the common room. Hours passed and they were the last two in the common.

Hermione had grown on Voldemort. Easily the smartest person at the school he found her to be the only student he didn't have to force small talk with.

And she was strangely kind which was not something Voldemort thought he would ever care about. But he found that he did. She sometimes bothered her about Harry's time in the future but it didn't matter, those were easily avoided because Voldemort had learned by playing off her fears of the coming exams she was easy enough to redirect now.

It was past midnight when Hermione's head dropped to rest on Voldemort's shoulder. Voldemort peered at her, realizing she had fallen asleep.

Voldemort could not remember the last time a woman had fallen asleep in his presence. Bella?

But that hadn't been from studying.

The gentle warmth of Hermione against his shoulder was unexpectedly welcome.

Voldemort reached for one of the more advanced theory books he had ordered, careful not to disturb her as he moved. He settled in to finish the book. Tomorrow was Saturday and they would be able to sleep in if they wanted to.

* * *

Sirius was glaring at Albus, well glaring while not trying to glare, which obviously wasn't working.

Kingsley coughed a laugh, "What do you think of our proposal?"

"Sirius is qualified but-"

Sirius snorted.

"Umbridge remains in place and therefore I have no job to offer you," Albus said cooly.

"Sirius would be an excellent DADA professor," Kingsley said. "He could be an Auror if he wanted to be."

"Then why doesn't he become an Auror?" Albus asked, knowing why but needing something civilly hostile to say.

"Because I do not want to work for the government," Sirius said.

"And you want to work for me?"

"I want to work with the students and it isn't like _you_ have anyone else offering themselves up for the job, well aside from Snape."

"I was considering giving him the position for next year."

"Were you?" Sirius asked narrowing his grey-blue eyes at the old man.

Kingsley jumped into the conversation again. "Perhaps you would allow Sirius and I to observe one of Dolores's classes. I heard she has been having... difficulties."

Albus sighed heavily, "Very well, you _both_ , may observe a few of her classes on Thursday."

"Today is Thursday," Sirius said. "And second period has already started."

"Then you best be getting to class."

* * *

Voldemort was delighting in irritating Dolores. Neither he nor Harry had any qualms about being mean to her.

"But _how_ do you use the shield charm?" Voldemort asked. "The book isn't clear on the wand movement."

Umbridge glared, "The book is quite clear."

"I disagree," Voldemort said, chin held high. "It doesn't even clarify the pronunciation. Is it Petrago or Poohtago?"

Dolores was visibly grinding her teeth, "To the front of the class, Potter."

Lazily, Voldemort stood and strolled to the front of the class, the Holly wand held at his side.

Umbridge demonstrated the shield charm. "This once, you may try the spell," Umbridge instructed. "If you spell works properly, after having seen it and after having heard it, then fifteen points to Gryffindor, but if not then it will be clear to the class you haven't studied."

Voldemort smiled at her. _How stupid is she? This shield charm was taught in the third year._

His shield charm was cast nonverbally and stronger than any student in this school could have produced but not even Voldemort could have predicted what came next.

Also nonverbally, Dolores's curse easily sliced through Voldemort's shield, because it was one of the unforgivables.

Voldemort dropped to the ground with a grunt, but he did not scream, or twitch, or writhe, because the battle happening in his mind was far more pressing.

Harry launched himself out of his hidey hole and began tearing at anything and everything that Voldemort was. Pulling at his memories and consciousness-

And the physical pain was increasing but Harry and Voldemort had both abandoned trying to respond physically. Their spirits circled each other like wolves, the Cruciatus Curse a buzzing backdrop left unacknowledged.

In a world of shadow and mist, Harry sliced a metaphysical band through the figure that Voldemort was picturing himself as. He grunted and shoved back with a wall that pushed Harry back towards his prison.

Harry was less knowable but he was stronger, this was _his_ body and _his_ mind. Besides Voldemort might be a freakishly powerful demon, but Harry's soul was complete, whole. Although it might be aged as compared to his peers because his soul had faced death twice, Harry's will to live came from a desire to live not from a fear of death.

Voldemort's wall buckled under Harry, and for a moment it seemed Harry would push Voldemort out.

Except there was no way out. In their joint awareness, they both realized that Voldemort had stayed too long, become too immersed.

 _Neither can live while the other survives._ A line from the accursed prophecy rang through them.

 _No,_ Harry thought, _not this time. Damn you, I will lose nothing more to you!_

Harry shoved with all his might, his being overpowering Voldemort like the ocean washing away a footprint in the sand. All that remained of the Dark Lord's hold on Harry was a mere indent that would be swept away with the next wave.

Voldemort rose off from the floor, gasping, coughing, his entire body shaking.

With blurry vision, he looked up slowly, and vaguely registered Umbridge was flat on her back.

Sirius Black was beside him, touching his shoulder, rubbing his back, and calling, "Harry, Harry, can you hear me?"

Sounds were coming in disconnected surges. How long had he been under the curse? Obviously, it had been the curse breaking that had saved Voldemort from Harry, Harry who had been about to do more than push him out.

 _Pushed out._ Voldemort felt fear like he had never known before. He was trapped in this body. At that moment, they had both felt it, felt that the magic Voldemort had used to implant himself in Harry was now permanent. If Voldemort tried to leave this body, fractured as his soul was, he would die. His spirit and identity had ingrained itself in this body. This body that would age and -one day, die.

"Harry," Sirius said again, gripping the sides of Voldemort's face. "Are you alright?"

Voldemort's eyes finally focused on Sirius, the last Black, and suddenly all that Voldemort had lost weighed on him, crashing down on his shoulders.

His followers, his own body, his plans, his identity.

He would never admit to it, or at least not admit it being his emerald green eyes that filled with moisture.

"Oh Harry," Sirius whispered, wrapping Voldemort in a bear hug -which Voldemort returned.

The real Harry retreated to his corner -becoming the serpent, motionless, waiting for his prey to position itself into the right angle for his strike.

It had been easy for Voldemort to forget him, to not think of that which was not seen. But he would not make the same mistake again. Voldemort might be back in his school years with an added level of unwanted emotions but he was also more powerful, more knowledge than he had been before. The search for immortality would go on and Harry would never be given another chance to overtake him.

* * *

Sirius was watching his godson worriedly.

The poor kid had been through too much. Also, he truly did have the worst luck with DADA professors. When Kingsley and Sirius had entered the classroom it had at once been clear that Dolores had been attacking Harry who had been motionless on the ground. That said attack had been the Crusartis Curse had not been clear until the spell had been lifted and Harry sat up with his entire body shuttering.

For five minutes Sirius had called his name and for five minutes Harry had been unresponsive, his eyes unfocused and the blasted tremors taking their toll on him.

Sirius would have killed Umbridge had Kingsley not already stunned her.

When Harry had finally said his name Sirius had almost cried.

The students had been horrified when they realized what had happened. Neville Longbottom had needed a calming draught.

The guilty bitch had been escorted to the Ministry by Kingsley and there would be hell to pay when the students' owls reached their parents.

Harry was currently asleep in a cot beside Luna's, Hermione Granger sat sleeping, sloched on Harry's other side. Even Poppy hadn't the heart to separate them by waking the frizzy-haired girl up. Hermione had almost been as angry as Sirius at the person who would dare to attack, no, _torture,_ Harry.

Sirius looked at Luna frowning. No cure had been found for her, yet. He couldn't image what her father and Harry felt at her condition.

Actually, he could. Sirius knew all too what helplessness felt like.

Sirius would be taking over as the DADA professor for the rest of the year, what little remained of it and he could only hope that Luna, who had been under for months recovered soon.

Looking back at Harry, Sirius sighed, he could only pray that one day their sorrows and hardships would be outweighed by love and happiness in their lives.

* * *

Luna had abandoned the jellyfish. She became aware that she was dreaming. It didn't quite feel like she was asleep, or if she was asleep it wasn't because she was tired.

She ran forward, her feet pressing into the soft sand, her first step onto a wave was not met with the sensation of wetness and a splash, but rather her foot met a glass sculpture of a wave. A frozen wave, if ice could be warm.

Luna ran towards that horizon.

Where was she? When was she? Who was she?

The sun was setting, the uppermost region of the sky was dark blue, where the sky kissed the ocean was golden orange, coloring the world in colors of fire and warmth. Luna ran towards that star -even as it slipped beyond view. She ran and the sky above her was a twinkling universe reflected on the giant glass plan she ran on.

She thought she saw whales, sharks, and glowing fish swimming beneath her feet.

But she kept running, understanding that this was a place she was not meant to stay even if she couldn't remember the world she came from.

Luna knew only that she needed to escape.

The wind began to pick up, the longer she ran the faster the wind buffeted against her. Eventually, the wind took her feet out from under her. She fell -hard, on the ground, which was not ground at all.

Cracks emerged in the glass, growing and splintering out from where she had landed.

She scrambled to her feet too late. The glass broke and she was plunged into the watery depths, sea creatures swarming around her.

She screamed kicking upwards, reaching out for help.

The wind plunged in after her, visible in the strands of bubbles streaking in the water. She was yanked upwards. The wind and water began to fight over her, one trying to left her towards the night sky the other trying to pull her under to the deepest depths. Both destinations were blue, neither would kill her, and no direction was the direction Luna knew she belonged.

What had once been a sedative dream, a paradise -had descended into a macabre nightmare.

All Luna needed to do was wake up. But wake up to what? For all, she knew the tide and the wind were friendly compared to the powers that defined that other place. She had no way of knowing and it was her uncertainty that trapped her in this nightmare, letting the elements have their way with her.

Luna tried to think, tried to remember, but she was lost with no northern star to lead her home.

* * *

RECAP: Why did the cruciatus curse help Harry fight for control? Because like I have shown you and Snape has said throughout this story, Harry has the power and the will but not the control, finesse, patience, or practice to outmatch someone who has been practicing the mind arts for over sixty years with the added bonus of dark and soul magic. By being put at a physical extreme Harry, who is no stranger to pain was able to slip out Voldemort's prison and fight back. What was not really conveyed but as the author, I can tell you that it is within _my_ rules of magic that had that 'battle' continued without either taking control of the body again they would have both died. Again, this is why I don't consider Voldemort to be godmoding, extremely clever, yes, but he is mortal and the magic he is using has some serious drawbacks.

Also, Umbridge using that curse in front of the entire class; was it stupid? Absolutely, but she did it or threatened to do it in the books and imagine everything done to her in canon, focused not on the entire school but solely on her, her office, and her classroom. Plus Dobby. She was at a breaking a point and I felt she had had enough screen time.

* * *

AN: Well, I hope you continue to be entertained. Sadly this story is reaching its end rather soon. Please share your reactions and thoughts with me? Also, if you have any burning ideas or questions that you would like to see addressed in the final few chapters reach out to me. I truly post for the reviewers and whether or not I directly respond to your reviews I do always consider them as I go forward with my own ideas.

Thank you so much for reading! :D


	31. Rage Rage Against the Dying of the Light

AN: I am graduating tomorrow with a 4.0 in Art History and 3.9 overall! Most of me feels dead inside because I gave up my sanity for those grades but I am sure I will bounce back soon. After all, grad school awaits. So while I should be packing I thought I would write while my mood is still relatively somber.

Shout out to my best friend, James who asked; "In what scenario would Voldemort be redeemable? What if he really could _feel_ remorse?"

And then I was like should I handle that question along with; is loved ones telling their son that death is Easier than Falling Asleep a morally acceptable thing?

To which this story arose to answer with: Yeah, that sounds about my speed."

* * *

 _Do not go gentle into that good night._

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953.

* * *

Chapter 31 - Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

The OWL exams were not difficult by any stretch of the imagination for Voldemort. In those two weeks, he helped Hermione study.

Voldemort found her fretting adorable, he knew she was prepared to pass her exams above and beyond those of her age.

He hated the fact that he found her… cute.

 _Cute_ , was not a word he thought he would ever use. He _hated_ that term, hated thinking it. In fact, he wanted to kill her for eliciting such feelings and thoughts from him. But then, Voldemort was up to ears in processing his kill list.

In his own head, killing and torture were a means to ends, people died, he was better than any of them, the world moved on. But in Harry's head… Harry didn't fully understand his own value but the concept of killing or torturing someone was abhorrent to the Boy Who Lived.

A fact that had begun to make itself known in Voldemort's dreams, or rather his nightmares.

An endless stream of faces, and bodies laid out before him and Voldemort _cared_. He had begun to think of each person, muggle or wizard, as an individual, with their own feelings.

He hated 'feelings.'

Voldemort was afraid that if he didn't do something to blacken Harry's heart soon than the boy might be able to gain control again. Acquire control because Voldemort was sick with these emotions that hounded him night and day.

* * *

Sirius was deeply concerned about Harry, who was avoiding him like he had the plague. He would hardly ever make eye contact and Sirius was- Well, there were alarm bells going off.

That he seemed to be smitten with his best friend Hermione, who was mostly oblivious to Harry's growing feelings was also worrying.

On one hand, it wasn't all that uncommon for a teenager to fall in and out of love. On the other, if Harry was acting oddly because of Luna's condition then it made no sense that he would be following after Hermione like a lost puppy.

In fact, that Harry had not spent every night at Luna's side -for as long as Pomfrey would allow it, was concerning. Sirius knew what love looked like, and Harry _loved_ Luna, deeply, with the same whole hearted manner that James had loved Lily. Everything about Harry's actions and reactions were just this side of believable. Sirius had the sinking suspicion that something was more wrong than he knew.

He had gone to Flitwick who had said that Harry hadn't laughed once since Luna was cursed and had been pouring himself into his work. But then Hermione wasn't in the same Charms class as Harry, so Flitwick might not have been able to observe the oddest bits of Harry's behavior.

The same was true with Minerva which meant that Sirius had only two people to seek help from who knew Harry.

Naturally, Sirius went to see Hagrid first.

"He's been acting a bit odd, yeah," Hagrid said.

"So you noticed his thing for Hermione?" Sirius asked.

"'Arry has a crush on Hermione!?" Hagrid spluttered.

Sirius frowned at the big man, "You just said he was acting oddly."

"Yeah he has- But not, well, those three have always been close. I'd image with Harry being as hurt as he is 'bout Ms. Lovegood, 'Moine might be giving him a shoulder to cry on and all…"

Sirius ran a hand through his shoulder length curls, "What did you notice about Harry's behavior that was odd to you then?"

Hagrid's lips tightened, "Well I'm not really sure how to say this, but it hasn't been 'Arry who has been acting queerly, it's the animals, you see. Yeah, the creatures been responding strangely. Won't come near him and Harry hasn't been volunteering like he used. He had a natural gift for this class, and if he enjoyed it a bit more he could get a job working with magical creatures, but anyhow, I've never seen creatures go so far out of their way to avoid a student before."

An idea was taking root in Sirius's mind, one he had no desire to acknowledge or consider the ramifications for. But that is what it meant to be a parent, to make the hard choices and put your child's needs and comfort above your wants.

"Thanks for your time, Hagrid," Sirius said.

"Anytime," Hagrid said with a smile, "hope I helped and I hope 'Arry feels more himself soon."

With a shudder, Sirius turned and returned to the castle, going straight to the dungeons.

When Snape opened his office door the first thing Sirius said was, "Do you really think Voldemort can possess anyone?"

Snape sighed and stepped back to the let his nemesis in.

"What do you think his limits are?" Sirius pressed.

Snape sighed again, "We have no way of knowing."

Sirius's scrutinized the other wizard, "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit. Not that you had much to work with, to begin with."

Snape rolled his eyes and tapped a bottle on his desk. "I keep telling myself I'll stop, but it seems every other weekend or so I can't… I just- some things, old memories, you just want to forget."

Sirius's shoulders sagged, "I get that, but-" Sirius met Snape's onyx gaze, "What is Voldemort capable of? And I don't mean morally capable of, I mean what can he accomplish with this body jumping thing?"

"The Dark Lord is capable of much and can accomplish many things depending on his host. But you didn't come here to discuss the Dark Arts. What specifically are you here for?"

"Does Harry seem… off, to you?"

"Heartbreak is a lot to deal with for someone his age," Snape said, placidly.

Sirius shook his head, "What about his occlumency lessons? How have they been going?"

Snape was going to answer back with something snide, but froze. The memories, when asked so directly- "Those are usually the nights I drink."

"You make that sound like a question. How heavy have you been drinking?"

Snape just glared at him, "Get to your point, Black."

"I think- I mean what if," Sirius took in a deep breath, "What if Voldemort got to Harry?"

Snape's eyebrows shot up, "You think the Dark Lord is inside of Harry Potter, without any of us noticing something is wrong?"

"Something is wrong with him, and I could be me who's wrong, but he doesn't exactly seem to be heartbroken about Luna."

"I have my last occlumency lesson with Harry tomorrow night," Snape said smoothly.

"So you do think it is possible! Do you want me to be there?" Sirius asked.

"Many things are possible and the Dark Lord is manipulative enough that given access to Harry's mind he _might_ be able to pull it off, though it seems unlikely given how close he's been to the muggleborn girl, Granger of late."

"Yes, but Harry shouldn't be _that_ close to her."

"I don't pretend to follow the dramas that take up a teenager's existence. As to your question before, we should plan to meet afterwards. If you are there and the Dark Lord is in residence, then we do not want to tip him off."

"And you think you'll be okay on your own with the 'Dark Lord'?" Sirius asked.

"Black, I have been in worse circumstances and I am a better liar than you have ever been."

"Snape," Sirius said in the same condescending tone, "I grew up in a home of Slytherins, and as Bella's cousin, I can tell you that underestimating any of them is a bad plan."

"Except, _I_ am also a Slytherin."

"Really?" Sirius asked sarcastically, "You think that matters? You think you will not need any backup handling your _Master_ when he is inhabiting the most powerful wizard of the rising generation who is also at the peak of his physical health?"

Snape snarled at him, "I am not going to fight the boy, I am just seeing if your accusation against him has any merit or if you're just bitter that he hasn't turned to you in his time of need."

"This isn't about me," Sirius growled.

"Isn't it? Harry's little girlfriend has been out of his life for months now and you seem to think it astounding that he is looking elsewhere."

"It isn't like that," Sirius said, angrier for the rising doubts. "Look, I don't want Harry to be possessed, I just need to know that he is okay. I can't ignore the little signs. If I am wrong, good, and if I'm right then I could never forgive myself if I did nothing and kept my mouth shut."

Snape sighed, "I will meet with you after I've met with him. Now get out of my office."

Sirius left, slamming the door behind him. He was not going to be able to sleep tonight. He was glad he wouldn't have to teach tomorrow because of exams. Sirius paced the halls and found himself in the owlery.

Harry's owl, Hedwig flew down to him at once, nibbling on his ear, rubbing her head against his cheek.

"Hello, pretty girl, what do you think Harry is going through?"

She hooted mournfully.

Sirius found a ledge that was out of sight of the door and spent the night overlooking the Hogwarts grounds with the snowy owl.

When the sun rose Sirius spotted something on one of the lower roofs. "Hedwig?"

She opened her amber eyes and blinked at him, waiting.

Sirius pointed at the little rectangle, "Could you grab that for me?"

Hedwig gave a single hoot and glided down to grab what Sirius was able to make out as a book when she had brought it back. She settled back on her perch -which was Sirius's shoulder.

Pulling out his wand, he was able to reverse the water and other element damage done to the little paperback. Good as new, the cover of the book revealed its title.

"American Gods," Sirius read out loud, and he opened it to the cover page.

 _To Luna,_

 _May a world of dreams help colour your days as I aim to make your reality better than anything anyone could imagine._

 _With love,_

 _Your Harry._

If Sirius had needed proof -that he hadn't imagined the depths of what Harry felt for Luna, then he needed to look no further. James had been a terrible poet, but in their seventh year Sirius and Remus had been stunned by how sincere and genuine James's written words had become when he wrote to Lily.

Sirius had that same impression from reading Harry's letter to Luna.

* * *

After last period of the day on Friday. Final Exams finished.

* * *

The wind eventually won the tug-a-Luna contest. She was flung from the ocean, pulled into the skies. She was weightless and for a time she relaxed in the arms of a warm breeze which quickly became freezing and not relaxing at all when she began to think of the nightmare she was trapped in.

She tried to think past the roaring in her ears, the cold in her bones- tried to think of the past.

Luna looked around herself, spotting the rising moon, a solid thought formed in her mind.

"My name means moon," she whispered to the winds, which eased.

She needed to go home, where she was loved.

 _I love you, Luna Lovegood, forever and always_.

"I love yo-" she tried to say but she couldn't remember the name or the person she had completed the words, "Every bit of you," to. She couldn't remember who but she remembered how she felt. She reached out to the silver disk in the sky, "Help me!"

A white flash sparked, followed by a tiny silhouette that at every movement flashed silver. It was a bird, an owl, a snowy owl. The silver light was reflecting off her white feathers.

"Hedwig!" Luna cheered. The wind grew more gentle still and began to sing.

Feeling as though she could fly like in the play her mother had read her once, about a girl who had flown to a place called Neverland, Luna soared after Hedwig. Hedwig led the way back to the beach where Luna had spent a long time saving jellyfish, and back to a dark wood where the invisible creatures that she should have been able to see dwelt.

She saw their leathery wings first, and then there great skeletal heads with their opaque white eyes.

Luna could not understand herself, could not understand why she felt such affection for these creatures who could only be seen if she had seen someone die.

Her mother. The memory of her mother's death was not pleasant nor was the memory of the wreck her father had become directly afterwards.

How could there possibly be anything good to come from such sorrow?

The wind sang through the trees and Luna found what she had lost.

Harry had followed her into a place that he had feared, for want of her company, he had followed her. Harry hadn't called her strange or belittled her or thought her perceptions simply an 'overactive imagination.' Harry Potter had taken her for who she was, taken the time to see the world as she saw it, trusting her judgment and challenging her without degrading her when his own instincts told him something different. He had walked with her, made her laugh, and held her when she needed not to be lonesome. He was impossibly real, her Harry.

She loved him and he loved her.

 _Forever and always._

* * *

Luna opened her eyes and sat up with a gasp. Her curse was broken and she didn't know how long she had been under but she knew, _knew_ she needed to get to Harry _now_.

* * *

Voldemort walked sluggishly down to Severus's office. He felt so tired. The exams hadn't been tiring but the weight of nightmares and his growing feelings for his classmates had uprooted his sense of self.

Harry had remained deathly silent in his corner.

On the occasions that Voldemort poked at him, it was like poking a lead ball with a piece of paper. No response. Voldemort had tried to attack that little space in his mind and had been unable to penetrate Harry's mental walls. What had been Voldemort's prison for the boy had been taken over as the boy's personal fortress.

It worried Voldemort, but it was beginning to frustrate him more that Harry wasn't around to help him. None of Harry's new thoughts or emotions were at his disposal, which under the nose of Sirius Black had been a tricky thing.

Voldemort knocked on Severus's door, glad that this would be their last torture session. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure if he had it in him to torture the old bat today. His heart simply wasn't in it.

As per usual, Severus let him in and went back to his desk.

"Prepare yourself, Potter," Severus said.

Had Voldemort been paying closer attention, he would have seen the dark gleam in the other wizard's gaze.

But alas, it didn't matter much for Severus, as Voldemort drew his wand and flicked Severus's wand out of his hand.

"You are-"

Voldemort sent the man crashing back into the shelves, "You do look so astonished each time I do this." He sneered, "I mean, I know I keep whipping your memory but you think you would have caught onto something being out of place by now."

"My Lord-"

Voldemort drove his foot into the side of Severus's head, sending him crashing back to the ground, "Begging is done on your knees, swine."

"But how?" Severus asked, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

"Swallow the blood, I did not wish to clean up after you again, this night." Voldemort's anger rose and he was ecstatic at its arrival. Anger was an emotion that rightfully belonged to him and it made him feel larger than life.

The door crashed open behind them, the lock charm Voldemort had placed on the door irrelevant because there was no longer a door.

Voldemort spun, wand pointed-

He recoiled at the sight of the woman standing there. Recoiled from the relief and joy he felt at seeing the pale-eyed beauty standing awake and unharmed before him.

Luna Lovegood did not recoil or hesitate, " _Expelliarmus!_ "

The Holly Wand flew from his grasp into hers.

Voldemort's emerald green eyes widened and he cried, " _No!"_ And summoning his strength, he made to attack her with a wandless blow of energy.

Severus Snape did not give him that chance, " _Legilimens!_ "

Severus's consciousness entered Voldemort's mind and Harry uncurled from his harbor and struck out with such force, Severus was forced to retreat for a brief time. When Severus rejoined the battle of wills, he directed Harry in wrapping a barrier around Voldemort.

The three of them felt Luna grab Harry's hand and squeeze.

Harry's heart burst with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Harry squeezed Voldemort into a metaphysical ball, Severus added his strength so that together, they began to suffocate not the air, but the very life out of the Dark Lord.

Panicking, Voldemort flailed himself against thing encasing him like a large fish inside too small of a tank.

 _Harry, please, don't do this,_ Voldemort pleaded.

Harry ignored him.

 _Please, my friend, do not kill me._

 _We. Are. Not. Friends._ With each word thought, Harry tightened his death grip.

 _But we could be so much, you and I. Please, there must be another w-_

Severus slammed his magic down on the Dark Lord.

 _Please, Harry, forgive me for what I've done. I can change, you have shown me how to change._

Harry laughed, _capable of change is not the same thing as changing._

 _For you,_ Voldemort said in a soft plea, _I would, I will change for you._

 _You think I will forgive the person who murdered my parents?_

 _I know you are capable of forgiving anyone,_ Voldemort said earnestly.

 _Even if I could forgive you, it doesn't matter. I could never trust you, Tom, I will never trust you. You have to be stopped._

In a sickly sweet whisper the Dark Lord asked, _But what if by killing me, you kill yourself? Could you really take a hand in your own death, again?_

Severus had heard their exchange and subconsciously loosened his grip.

Harry bore down harder, _If I die, then this time, I will die fighting._

In a rush of blackness, what had remained of Tom Marvolo Riddle was snuffed out.


	32. Kiss My Ass

This is the End: There will be no sequel and apologize for this chapter being short, any updates will be for editing purposes. Many thank you's to her and the reviewers.

Keynote: Updated with a bit more Luna, a bit more of an ending :D 11-06-2019

Note: Hermione Krum is the godmother. Sirius doesn't have any legal standing except for Harry but everyone still calls him the Dogfather.

AN: I know this is a short chapter but it is how I felt this story needed to end. Hope you enjoy! And please, _**pretty please with cherries and edible flowers on top**_ review with your thoughts and reactions?

Chapter 32 - Kiss

The first sight that met Harry when he opened his eyes was Luna's blue luminous gaze. She smiled at him, they leaned towards each other like the petals of a flower towards the rays of the sun.

They were a mere inch apart when Snape -whose chest and lap they had woken up on, pushed both of them away, a hand on their shoulders.

"Get off me," he snarled.

Harry had the grace to be abashed and mumbled an apology as he scrambled to his feet.

Luna -who had gracefully risen as if she hadn't fainted from the mental excision of helping execute the remnant of the Dark Lord's soul in another wizard's mind. She took ahold of Harry's lapels and claimed a kiss.

Snape made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat as he staggered to his feet. He made it to his desk, one hand on the wood for balance the other finding a bottle of liquor. He took a hardy swig before declaring, "I'm retiring."

The two teens looked at the haggard professor for a moment, and then Harry said, "Well, finally."

Snape pointed a finger at him hand still holding the bottle, "I'll see you to graduation, after that you are not my problem. And if Albus takes issue with that, he can kiss my ass."

"You should do something you enjoy," Luna suggested.

Snape nodded, "I've saved enough funds to open my own apothecary. I will be selling potions. Pre-brewed, I will not be a damned ingredient supplier. And no one under the age of eighteen will be allowed through the front door."

"Legal age is seventeen," Harry remarked.

"I don't care!" Snape snapped. "Anyone still attending school, adult or no, will stay the hell away from me."

"Somehow I don't think that is an unachievable goal," Harry said dryly.

Sirius burst in through the door then, wand raised.

"Snape! Harry!" he yelled before freezing, "Luna?"

"Hello Sirius, Harry is Harry again," she answered serenely.

"So, I was right and he wasn't Harry before..."

"Correct," Luna said

Harry came over to his godfather and hugged him, "Thank you, Sirius, for knowing me."

Sirius squeezed him, "You're my son, I'd recognize you anywhere."

* * *

"What do you mean you were possed by Voldemort!?" Filius exclaimed.

"It's alright, Professor," Luna said, "everyone's alright."

Filius took off his glasses and rubbed at his face. "How did I not notice?"

Harry put a hand on his shoulder, "He had access to my memories and thoughts. He wasn't just pretending to be me, he was me."

"Was it hard for him?" Luna asked.

Harry nodded, "I don't think he'd ever felt emotions before, I don't think he knew what love was."

Filius put his glasses back on and looked into Harry's eyes, "If you shared a mind with him, what did you see Harry?"

He looked away at the all too knowing gaze, freaking Ravenclaws. "I saw what it meant to be selfish, what it meant to wish pain on others, to rejoice at another's suffering."

Luna laced her fingers with his, "It's alright to think bad thoughts and to want bad things, Harry."

"Is it?" he asked.

She nodded, "It matters more what you act on. Everyone has good and bad thoughts, everyone wants things that would hurt others, but it matters most the thoughts we decide on, the thoughts we choose to believe in."

 _Belief, choice._ He hugged her, Merlin, he was so happy not to be alone.

Filius steepled his fingers, "Voldemort, my dear Harry, was the worst possible example of selfishness. But wanting things, wanting others, for yourself isn't inherently wrong."

Harry held Luna a little closer to him, "I want to live."

Filius smiled and Luna said, "Of course you do, I haven't told you about the jellyfish yet."

* * *

A Few Days Later

* * *

Hermione nervously sat down across from Harry on the train. Ron was in a different compartment with Lavender Brown.

Harry was happy as a clam, he would be spending the summer at Grimmauld Place with Sirius, Remus, and Tonks.

Luna was currently asleep, leaning against Harry's shoulder. As far as the end of a year at Hogwarts went, he had had worse.

"Hermione, whatever it is, just say it," Harry said, running his thumb over Luna's hand he held in his.

"I -I'm happy Luna is alright."

Harry couldn't help but smile, "I am extremely happy she's back."

"Harry…"

He sighed, "What?"

"Well- over the last few months, well, it seemed like you…" she hesitated then blurted. "I've kept up with writing and exchanging letters with Victor, and I think it's something, something that might lead to something lasting."

"Hermione, I am happy for you, Victor is a good guy. I love you like a sister. Luna is the only person who holds my heart."

Hermione looked relieved. "Good," then breathed a laugh, "or I suppose, Lovegood."

"Haha," he said, grinning. But the grin didn't last, "Hermione about the last few months…"

"Yes?"

"I was possessed by Lord Voldemort."

She gaped at him, "Excuse me?"

"You know, since Luna had fallen under the curse, that was Voldemort, not me."

Hermione opened her mouth, closed it shook her head and asked, "What?"

"Voldemort, you know bodiless wraith with the last of his nine cat lives left, figured out a way to process me. He's the one who cursed Luna and he used me to do it."

She shook her head again, her curls following the movement, "No, no, that's impossible, he couldn't pretend to be a student. He's old, he's _evil."_

"He had my memories and emotions, and he is very good a manipulating people."

"But he's-!" Hermione spluttered and then a look of horror came over her face, "Harry? Merlin, Harry, tell me you were in control some of the time?Tell me-"

He shook his head.

"So the last few months...?" she looked like she was going to be ill.

He nodded.

"He... he was nice to me," she said in a horrified whisper.

Harry couldn't help but smirk, "He had a crush on you, 'Mione."

He wished he had a camera to capture the look on her face at that moment. Her nose wrinkled, her eyes almost crossed as if she just smelt something truly foul. "But I'm a muggle born and he's..." she made disgusted sound, "the Dark Lord."

His smirk turned into a grin, "I know, and trust me, he was so confused. He kept having nightmares about his _feelings_ for you. It was really creepy but kind of funny to watch him agonize over it. You're the first person on this planet he has ever loved."

Hermione held out her hands, "No, no! Don't say that! Oh... that is so gross, don't ever say that again, I - _ugh!_ "

He laughed as Hermione disappeared, and Luna slept peaceably through it all against Harry's side.

* * *

Sirius and Xenophilius greeted them at the train station. Xenophilius greeted Luna with a hug that lifted her off her feet.

When he put her down after spinning her around, he bowed so she could pat the top of his head.

Sirius in turn, patted Harry on the top of his head, Harry stuck his tongue out at his godfather.

He barked his laughter.

Xenophilius approached Harry suspiciously, and leaned into him, then sniffed at his face.

Sirius stayed quiet, too quiet, and Harry knew he would be teased for this later.

"You're you," Xenophilius said, proving that crazy as anyone thought the Lovegoods were, they had a knack for seeing what was in front of them better than those poor souls cursed with 'normalcy.'

"Yes, Sir."

Xenophilius cuffed Harry under the chin, "You can see my Luna again when the next term begins. I'm taking my daughter home."

He nodded, and Luna blew him a kiss which he caught, put in his pocket for a rainy day, then blew her back one of his in return.

Her outrageous laughter warmed and strengthened his heart as her father led her away.

"So, kid," Sirius asked when they had lost sight of him, "how do you want to spend the summer?"

"Are you teaching next year?" Harry asked.

His dogfather grinned, "That I am."

"Then let's have a real vacation, I want to see the sun."

"I was thinking Canada," Sirius suggested.

Harry frowned, "That doesn't sound very sunny."

"It's summer, most places are sunny by now. I want to see the falls."

"And after that?"

Sirius lopped his arm in Harry's, "We'll go where ever we want, we're free."

* * *

Epilogue - 19 Years Later

* * *

Luna Lovegood and Professor Harry Potter owned a modest home on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Luna travelled the world with her career as a Magical Creature Habitat Specialist. It was her job to ensure that the Magical Creatures` rights were being upheld and their homes were livable. But despite the faraway lands she explored, she always returned home to her Harry and her two children Lilianne Pandora Potter and Rueben Xenophilius Potter.

Lilianne -not Lil, not Lils, not Lily, and definitely not Lily-Flower (cough, cough, Dogfather Sirius), had been born five years after Luna had graduated from Hogwarts, by which time both Harry and she were well established in their chosen careers. Although Harry's first year of teaching in Luna's seventh year had been a bit of struggle as they weren't `technically` allowed to be a couple. Harry had taken over Sirius's position as the DADA professor as Sirius moved on to become Gryffindor Head of House and the Transfiguration professor. As -in turn, Minerva McGonagall became the Headmistress of Hogwarts after Albus Dumbledore retired (under less than favorable terms with the other professors).

Rueben who went by Rue, was Luna and Harry's second child. Rue was the baby of the family. Six years younger than his older sister, he enjoyed the attention of being a Potter and the inherent cuteness that being a five year old earned him. He had his mother's big blue eyes and his father's messy raven black hair. Unlike Lilianne who had her father's emerald eyes and her mother's fair coloring.

Lilianne was entering Hogwarts and was destined to be sorted into Slytherin. Slytherin, not for her cunning or survival instincts but because of her ambition -and perhaps for her penchant for speaking with legless reptiles. At a very young age after hearing pieces of her father's childhood, a man who was raised by muggles with no guardian's help in the magical world, as well as hearing tidbits about Dogfather's childhood, a man who had been raised by purebloods, she decided that magical children needed more oversight. It needed to be ensured that they were safe at home with people who wanted them, or at least have powers in place to help those children when they were discovered. She was ready to rewrite the laws and open a completely new branch in the Wizarding World for domestic rights and law enforcement. Nothing could or would dissuade Lilianne from this path.

Contrarywise, Rue would one day be destined to be sorted into Hufflepuff (although he too possessed the ability to talk to snakes). Rue would follow his namesake in becoming the gamekeeper at Hogwarts (much to Hagrid's delight), and like his father and Dogfather, he would become a professor at Hogwarts. Unlike Rubeus Hagrid, Rue would have extensive formal training, going on researching trips with his mother as well as studying for years at foreign academies. It was a near thing that Rue hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw, but then, he had his father's demeanor with none of his father's trauma. Rue Potter would become known for his kindness, his patience, his wisdom, and his unfailing ability to forgive. Rue's children, however, would have the mixed blessing of their grandfather's dubious and often fickle luck. But that's another story.

In Harry Potter's time, he would witness the natural deaths of his beloved professors, become headmaster and meet his great-great-grand babies. When the Great Harry Potter died he would be extremely old -quite miraculous for a man who had died twice, but as it is said, third time's the charm. Although in all reality, Harry stayed in this world longer than he ought to have because he was a stubborn bastard, waiting for Luna. Luna and Harry would die together, hand and hand.

Where some people faded and others have their light blown out; Harry and Luna's lights spun away, like shooting stars trying to find a new home for themselves in the galaxy.

Yet, that would be many, _many_ years from the year 2015. Many years from a clear skied night and already late -or in the morning early enough, to be the 1st of September. Luna Lovegood was laying on the roof staring up at the stars splayed in a glittering array above her. There was no light pollution in Hogsmeade so the stars shined bright.

Harry found her and laid out on the shingles, his hand finding hers. They gazed at the heavens together.

After some time Harry spoke, "You seem sad tonight, solemn."

"Is Rue asleep?"

"You know he is. Down and up with the sun that one."

"As opposed to you who is always up before the sun. Really, Harry, you need to sleep more."

"And waste away the time I have with you, never." He paused for a moment, waiting for her to speak, to tease him, when she didn't he said, "I notice you didn't mention Lilianne."

"She won't be sleeping tonight, too busy plotting with Korra for such a mundane activity as sleep," Luna said, waving her free hand in the air. Korra was a Sonoran coral snake and spelled so her venom glands were not effective against humans.

Harry spoke often with Korra and didn't think the spell was necessary, but then again, he would hate for some poor soul to lose the ability to breathe over a prank. Although, all things considered, if Lilianne got a hold of a prankster, or Merlin forbid, a bully, they would likely face worse with their daughter than a poisonous snake. Lilianne did have a wee bit of temper.

"Luna, what's wrong?" Harry asked, letting go of her hand so he could turn on his side to face her. He hadn't changed all that much, but Luna… Luna had become all the more beautiful. He put an arm over her slim waist and leaned closer to her.

Luna curled into him and sighed, "Things are changing."

"'Things' have a way of doing that. What about things is bothering you?"

She played her fingers over the front of his robes, "Sometimes I can't believe your mine."

Harry tilted her face up to his, "Believe it, because being yours, having you in my life, I would change nothing between us. Not ever."

Her crystalline eyes searched his face, "Aren't you afraid of what the future might hold?"

"Of course, but if I have learned anything, it is to enjoy what we have for as long as we have it."

She cupped his face in her hands, "And fight for it when the time for fighting comes."

Harry pressed in against the feel of her touch, "Luna Lovegood, I love you."

When she smiled it was like the sun cresting the mountain tops, "Harry Potter, I love you, every bit of you, forever-"

"And always," Harry finished with a kiss.

* * *

Dedicated to the reviewers who have helped me feel less alone in this world. Much Love~


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